A/N. May carry on with this. What d'you think?

I am apparently what is known as an Unreliable Narrator. If you believe that, then frankly you get what you deserve, but hey, this is what happened, nothing left out, nothing added. Although as it's me that telling you about this, I might interject occasionally, just to set the record straight. But other than that, this is an honest an account as you're going to get, OK?

I'll introduce people in a moment, but as you're going to ask how we came to be in this hotel room bored out of our minds, well to be honest, we sort of just fell into it. It wasn't proper work, the hours were short, and it was easy, and we got loads of cash, and I'm talking fucking wheelbarrow loads of cash. Unless you maybe work for the cops, in which case ignore all this, right? Or you work for a drug dealer, or you are a drug dealer...where was I...Oh yeah; you wouldn't believe how much cash there is washing around in criminal hands. No really, it's fucking millions, and it's all fucking dirty. So if you're going to look at me like that, well you can fuck right off, OK? I've no fucking problem with robbing fucking crims of their ill gotten gains. OK?

I'll let you into another secret...Criminals, they're pretty fucking stupid. Otherwise they'd have proper jobs, right? Trust me, they're really thick, they have loads of cash knocking about the place, and they don't use banks, and because they all think they're hard bastards and no-one will rob them they just leave it lying about. Like I said stupid, right?

Any-one here from Bristol? Been to Bristol? Well you've heard of Jonny White then, yeah? Couple of years ago he got done over, that was us. I'm not talking about Tommo keeping him off his arse; I'm talking about his place being turned over. You heard about that? That was us. It was sort of Tommo's idea, he noticed all this cash coming in from drug deals whilst he was doing club nights there. It would arrive in fucking bag loads. Any way they'd stash it in this room, lock the door, leave it and go down the fucking pub to watch the football, or whatever. Like I said stupid... One night we got in, broke the door down, and robbed him. Took him for £25K. He was fucking livid, silly fucker. He thought it was this other drug dealer, so they had a fucking massive barney over it. Meanwhile we all fucked off on holiday. Sweet.

So that's how it started, once we'd got a taste of that sort of money for about half an hour's work, well, working the till at Tesco just seemed a bit fucking dull, know what I mean? We found other drug dealers, they were more or less as stupid as White really, one total twat kept it in his mums broken washing machine in his garage, I mean...duuurrrr. Fucking retard deserved to be turned over. It wasn't much though just 10 grand. Small time really. Back then we'd all do jobs like that together, but as we got better at them we'd split up, a couple of jobs a night. I don't mind saying it was a bit fucking scary the first time we did that, but after a while it got OK.

It got to be routine and a bit easy to be honest. Go to any big town or City and it doesn't take long to find the dealers, we let them find us most of the time. Follow them, have a look at their set ups, sort out a plan, and do it. Piece of piss most times, and you're walking away with a few grand for a couple of nights work. It got so that we were seeing who could rob the most dealers in one night. I think Effy did 3 one night, but I'd have to ask her.

Anyway, we were more or less working out way up to London. We bought a place. I know! With cash, how sweet was that? Counting it out in front of the fucking estate agent. Fucking ponce. We just started again, London was fucking ace. Criminals just as stupid, just more of them. I swear, right, no joke; we must have had close to half a million in cash in the house at one time. I know what you're thinking, that makes us as stupid as them having all that cash lying about, well, for your information, one; we sorted it out with a front company, and two; no one knew we had it, so no one was gonna come looking for it, were they?

From drug dealers it got onto, well, just bent fuckers really, I mean where's there drug dealers there's pimps, Sex traffickers...Oh, don't get me started, they get girls from eastern European, drug them, and force them to have sex, in the worst fucking conditions, taking money off those fuckers was like a public fucking duty. Mind you, talking of East Europeans...Russians...just don't fucking go there. They're about the only ones we won't touch.

Fucking Mental.

The lot of them. I heard stories. Stuff they do to people, it's like a fucking horror movie, like Saw, that film? You know? Russians, we just walk away.

Then we did that casino. That was fucking ace. It was a front, they're called wash houses, dirty money comes in, clean money comes in from punters. Punters go home with dirty money casino keeps all their lovely clean money; it's a front, right? Well, we fucking worked that like pros. Some of us even got jobs there, I worked behind the bar, Cook got work there, we fucking knew it inside out, got copy keys, got codes...Mind you one cost me a fucking blow job...Yeah alright, don't fucking tell anyone about that, OK? Anyway walked away with shit loads of money, about three quarters of a million. Like I said, fucking ace. So after that small time drug dealers with a couple of grand, well it wasn't fucking worth it. Only fucking downside me and Cook had to carry on working there for a few months after, just in case they got suspicious whilst they all fucked off the south of France. That was fucking hard to take. By the time we got out there, they'd sorted out the next job, talk about keen, same sort of deal, a Casino in Nice. One thing we overlooked though, French Criminals, they use fucking guns...Fuck. Me. How fucking scary. Put us right off, only just got away with that one, and to be honest, I think between you and me, that's were Panda stated going a bit, you know... well, mental.

Oh, I said I'd introduce every-one, didn't I?

Well, I'm Katie, the smart good looking modest one... Alright, Joke, keep you knickers on. Over there in the corner with the headphones on, that's Tommo. He does all our comms. That sounds well cool doesn't it; we've got these tiny earpieces and radios, that how we keep in touch on a job. He's well cute Tommo, but hands off, 'cause him and Panda are all together. One time though I was having a bath, and well he'd locked himself in with me (don't ask) , and well, long story short, we very nearly...Right next to Tommo that's Effy, she and Freddie, that's him with the scruffy hair and the dope habit, they're fucking inseparable, He's a good shag though. That's my sister, Emily, and her girlfriend Naomi, out on the Balcony. No, you heard right, couple of lezzers. Right, don't get me wrong, nothing against homos; they can do whatever they fucking want...Look, I'll let you into a secret, a while back, I was coked up, and well there was this girl, and yeah well, in the name of experimentation I sort of...Well, it was alright, not something I'd want to do again, it lacked a certain...firmness? Know what I mean? Where was I, Oh yeah, the lezzers, Naomi, she's alright I suppose, we get on better than when I first met her, and she gave Emily a fucking hard time, but I've got to admit they're pretty fucking close now. Next to her that's JJ, he pretty much runs things, pretty smart, him and Naomi, they sort out all the small stuff and they run the front company. They get all suited up, meet banks the whole fucking works, one bank was so impressed with the figures Naomi gave him; they wanted to give us a loan. Fucking priceless. The bloke with the tramp stamps, that's Cook, he's a bit of a tit if I'm honest, but he's a good laugh. Haven't shagged him. And then there's Panda, right...She was, she used to be loads of fun, bit ditzy, you know, but a good laugh, but after that casino job in France, well she sort of changed, wants to go tooled up all the time, you know? Guns. Well the boys don't fucking mind do they, it's like a remake of gun fight at the OK fucking Corral here sometimes, Effy she goes along with it, just shrugs, I know Ems and Naomi don't like it much, although they've both learned how to use them, me? I refuse to have anything to do with them.

So, that's us...Fucked up, bored wanted in a few countries. Rich. Addicted. Which goes some way to explain why we're in this fucking hotel room all waiting for Pandas meeting with fat Albert to happen so we can get on with this job. Oh, and if you're ever in the area, fucking avoid Denver like the fucking plague, it's a fucking shithole.