So I wrote this ages ago for a joke April Fools challenge on Geekfiction. I can't remember what it was supposed to include –but I remember I got them all in! I just found it the other day and thought I'd put it up here. It is a very silly short story.
My Archie April Fool's Story (I couldn't resist)
Title: Dream me a Fancy Dress
Rating: Teen, a couple of light swear words.
Pairing: Open to the imagination (I know who they are in my head who are they in yours?)
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: If I owned any of it I'd be rich enough to buy great reviews! J All errors are my other personalities not mine!
A/N: Just a short, very silly and unrealistic fic I wrote while procrastinating! Oops, my bad!
Let me know what you think.
Dream me a Fancy Dress
I can't believe what I am seeing. I rub my eyes again to be sure, I pinch myself, nothing seems to work, the scene in front of me hasn't changed. I give up, it must be real. I know it's meant to be a fancy dress party but really who the hell dresses in a blue power ranger costume? As I walk closer I realise the power ranger is moving towards me. I can't stop trying to think who is it? It is definitely too skinny to be Grissom, too short to be Sara, Catherine maybe? Hodges? That's when it hits me, the ranger isn't coming towards me, I am moving to it, in fact its actions seem to mirror my own, same speed of movement, same mannerisms. I'm not looking at another person; I'm looking at my own reflection. What is going on? I don't even like the power rangers; I was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle kid.
Tearing my eyes from my source of confusion I take some time to observe my surroundings. I can see Nick across the room distinctly recognisable despite the Peter Pan costume. He is standing next to someone dressed as Spiderman. To my left is Catherine dressed not as a power ranger but surprisingly resembling a fairy. It takes a minute to realise that she is the Tinkerbelle to Nick's Pan. To my right I notice Warrick. A grin forming immediately on my blue face. I don't know how he's done it but he is quite clearly dressed as a Zombie Grissom.
The sight of Warrick reminds me I have yet to see Grissom, Sara or for that matter any of the lab-rats yet. There are many more people in the room that are so well disguised I wouldn't even hazard a guess as to their identity. As I make my way around the dimly light room I survey the setting, I can see empty cans and plastic cups; the unmistakable signs of over consumption of alcohol. The room is crowded, it inhabitants perched on any available surface. This is definitely a well attended shindig, must have cost the powers that be a fair chunk of their yearly income what with the decorations, they food and the alcohol.
I'm so deep in thought that I realise too late that I am falling. Something breaks my fall, looking down I realise it's not something but someone, or two someone's for that matter. In a split second I realise I have landed on a couple in the midst of a very amorous make out slash groping session.
"Um…uh…sorry…so sorry…excuse me." I somehow manage to stutter while I clumsily try to extricate myself from their laps. The couple just look up at me smirking and that's when I notice their outfits. She is dressed as Catwoman in skin tight black leather head to toe. My god I've never seen anything tighter not even on Catherine, her costume is so good that I have no idea who is behind the mask. Catwomans petting partner is a Jedi Knight, I can't see who the man is because he is so well hooded that all I can see are shadows cast across his face.
I stagger away thinking to myself all the possibilities of who the mystery pair could be. Grissom and Sofia? Brass and Sofia? Grissom and Sara? Nah, none of those would be willing for PDA's to that degree. Judy and Hodges? Mia? Mandy? Archie? God the options are endless.
The sound of laughter pulls me out of my reverie, I turn to face the rooms entrance where the amusement is directed and find myself joining in wholeheartedly. Standing in the middle of the doorway is a very naked Archie! Or at least Archie dressed as Naked Archie, I can't believe he found a costume shop that stocked a completely naked man outfit with muscles, a six pack and a fully accurate display of the male anatomy! I've got to hand it to the guy he knows how to make himself known.
"Now that the man of the moment has arrived the party can officially get started," announces Tinkerbelle. "Take it away Archie!".
I watch closely as Archie moves to stand on a chair and begins his speech. "Thanks for coming everyone and welcome to the official unveiling of 'Spawn of Archie'. I have been working on this video game for two years and now that it is finally ready to go I can't wait for you to be among the first to witness and play it."
"Just too quickly bring you up to speed. 'Spawn of Archie' is a Zombie Vampire game, the lead character is a zombie vampire known only as Archie (1 guess as the where I got the name from). Archie's only goal is to start an apocalyptic wave of death on Earth and repopulate it with the evil walking dead spawn of Archie."
"Cath, will you do the honor of pulling the names of the first two 'Spawn of Archie' competitors out of that severed skull beside you." I can't wait to see who Catherine pulls out; I have my fingers secretly crossed behind my back.
Catherine very seductively pulls the names and announces "The winners are…David Phillips and Nicholas Stokes. Get it on boys!" Cheering erupts and the two men make their way to the game station. Everyone gathers around them, Warrick takes bets on the winner, almost all of which are for Nick to kick the assistant coroners ass. As the two start playing, I can see that Spiderman up close is in fact a Spiderwoman in the form of Mandy. I also see that Doc Roberts is here and has come dressed as an old school Batman, funnily enough now that I take notice David Phillips is Robin. Very funny.
After an hour of solid dueling the boys finally reach the second level, with Nick surprisingly trailing David by some thousand points and the only member of the audience grinning is the groping Jedi from earlier. After the players swap and the money is exchanged, I quietly watch the Jedi whisper something in his 'pets' ear and then retreat to the far corner of the room. I stealthily retrieve a camera off the table and sneak away to catch them in the act, I figure I can take a picture of them in the act and hopefully use Archie's Magic Photoshop to identify the culprits with facial recognition.
I tiptoe in their direction and just as they come up for air I snap the perfect picture. The flash quickly alerts them to my deviousness but I am already hightailing it out of there to the angry sounds of my name and something along the lines of a terrifying death threat!
I can't wait to get to work on Monday and have Archie work his magic, if for nothing else than to know who to watch out for! Oh My God! What if it was Ecklie? I am starting to wish that I wasn't cursed to be this clever genius. As I run away I hear my cell phone ringing, as I reach for it I can't help but pray please don't let it be the Jedi. I look down at my hand and realise the sound isn't coming from my cell. It is the distinct sound of my alarm.
Waking up I hit the snooze button and thank god that it was all a dream. Ecklie can't kill me for a dream! Slowly I get up still feeling the effects of sleep and head to the bathroom. I catch my reflection in the mirror and give myself a smug smile for coming up with such an awesome dream. Taking a second glance I notice something.
Why is there blue plaint of my face? Oh my god Greg what have you done!!!
The End
R&R if you feel the urge, no meanies though please my fragile ego just won't survive J
