DISCLAIMER V2.3: Do you know, I actually believe I am a living
reincarnation of JK Rowling? Therefore I in fact own as much of the Harry
Potter books "spiritually" as she does really. However these sort of views
can get you ridiculed or commited so I hereby say, I do not "wink" own any
of JK Rowling's characters "WINK" and I am only using her character because
I'm not imaginative to think of my own "WINK WINK".
It was a hot steamy day in Hogwarts. Harry and Hermione were sitting under the magical hoopsammy tree in the grounds, sharing a hot currant bun. Suddenly Snape waltzed past with the giant squid.
"What the- ?" said Harry. "Did you just see that?"
"Who cares?" said Hermione. "This is Fanfiction, nothing makes any sense. Now lets have hot raunchy sex".
And they did.
Meanwhile inside Snape continued waltzing past the doors of Hogwarts, until he and his slimy partner accidently fell through one that led to an alternate dimension.
Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore were walking past at the time.
"In all my years as Headmaster of Hogwarts I have never seen anything like that. What does it mean, Minerva?" asked Dumbledore.
"I don't know, Albus" said McGonagall, "but this is Fanfiction, so you know what happens next."
"Oh dear, we're not going to have more raunchy sex are we?"
"Yes we are".
And they did.
Ron was walking through the hallways on his own. He felt deserted. Harry and Hermione had gone out before he had woken up, and everyone else was having hot raunchy sex.
Suddenly as Ron rounded the corner he ran into Sirius.
"Sirus!" Ron cried "How are you alive? I saw you die in that stupid veil thing!"
"Yes, Ron, you did. I am dead."
"Then. are you. undead?"
"No this is just Fanfiction, where I've been resurrected, turned into a werewolf, turned into Snape, turned into Hagrid, turned into Dumbledore, turned into Harry and had hot raunchy sex with the other marauders more times than I can remember. I'm only dead in the REAL cool Harry Potter books. Now less talk, more hot raunchy sex!"
And they did.
Meanwhile Voldemort was sitting depressed in his tower. He was redundant. Wormtail carried a plate of boiling soup up to him. HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED drank deeply.
"Thankyou Wormtail" he sighed.
"My Lord," murmured Wormtail, "what is wrong?"
"My dear Peter, I have become redundant. All the horrible depraved things that those weirdos on Fanfiction think up are infinitely worse than anything I've EVER done. Even killing Harry's entire family pales in comparison to writing about a four way Marauder gang bang."
Both men shivered.
"Enough of these grim thoughts!" roared Voldemort. "I am HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED, if everyone else is having hot raunchy sex I want some too. Come here my pet basilisk."
And he did.
Well that's it. I may be writing stories on other books and I may update this one if anyone is insane enough to ask me. Please send hate mail directly to screwyouafguy@hotmail.com. Rather ironically, my sister is a FanFiction addict, which is probably what led to this story. IF YOU ARE ALL SUCH GOOD AUTHORS, WRITE YOUR OWN STORIES WITH YOUR OWN CHARACTERS.
It was a hot steamy day in Hogwarts. Harry and Hermione were sitting under the magical hoopsammy tree in the grounds, sharing a hot currant bun. Suddenly Snape waltzed past with the giant squid.
"What the- ?" said Harry. "Did you just see that?"
"Who cares?" said Hermione. "This is Fanfiction, nothing makes any sense. Now lets have hot raunchy sex".
And they did.
Meanwhile inside Snape continued waltzing past the doors of Hogwarts, until he and his slimy partner accidently fell through one that led to an alternate dimension.
Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore were walking past at the time.
"In all my years as Headmaster of Hogwarts I have never seen anything like that. What does it mean, Minerva?" asked Dumbledore.
"I don't know, Albus" said McGonagall, "but this is Fanfiction, so you know what happens next."
"Oh dear, we're not going to have more raunchy sex are we?"
"Yes we are".
And they did.
Ron was walking through the hallways on his own. He felt deserted. Harry and Hermione had gone out before he had woken up, and everyone else was having hot raunchy sex.
Suddenly as Ron rounded the corner he ran into Sirius.
"Sirus!" Ron cried "How are you alive? I saw you die in that stupid veil thing!"
"Yes, Ron, you did. I am dead."
"Then. are you. undead?"
"No this is just Fanfiction, where I've been resurrected, turned into a werewolf, turned into Snape, turned into Hagrid, turned into Dumbledore, turned into Harry and had hot raunchy sex with the other marauders more times than I can remember. I'm only dead in the REAL cool Harry Potter books. Now less talk, more hot raunchy sex!"
And they did.
Meanwhile Voldemort was sitting depressed in his tower. He was redundant. Wormtail carried a plate of boiling soup up to him. HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED drank deeply.
"Thankyou Wormtail" he sighed.
"My Lord," murmured Wormtail, "what is wrong?"
"My dear Peter, I have become redundant. All the horrible depraved things that those weirdos on Fanfiction think up are infinitely worse than anything I've EVER done. Even killing Harry's entire family pales in comparison to writing about a four way Marauder gang bang."
Both men shivered.
"Enough of these grim thoughts!" roared Voldemort. "I am HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED, if everyone else is having hot raunchy sex I want some too. Come here my pet basilisk."
And he did.
Well that's it. I may be writing stories on other books and I may update this one if anyone is insane enough to ask me. Please send hate mail directly to screwyouafguy@hotmail.com. Rather ironically, my sister is a FanFiction addict, which is probably what led to this story. IF YOU ARE ALL SUCH GOOD AUTHORS, WRITE YOUR OWN STORIES WITH YOUR OWN CHARACTERS.