This is dedicated to Kesie Cutie who requested it. It's not very long sorry, It's A/U and well you should be able to figure out where it fits in to everything.
Dinner
Considering how incredibly horrible my day started out I never thought it would turn out so well. I met Eli in the garden this morning, after he streaked through the school while high yesterday afternoon we needed to talk. He had said many hurtful things while high and I was hoping it was only because he was high that he said those things. However when I met him this morning I found out he really did mean them all and worse he wanted space. It seemed to be my fault that he was doing drugs, I was so worried about him and I was the cause. It was like getting my heart ripped out and stomped on, ground into the pavement by his boot.
After spending my lunch crying in the memorial garden I decided I'd take the afternoon off of school. Officer Turner doesn't even stop me from leaving, either because I look so upset or because he heard about the breakup. I have no destination in mind, no desire to go home even as Eli and I spent a lot of time at my house and my bedroom. I just wander, meandering the streets of Toronto sort of aimlessly and without purpose. I'm a convoluted mix of amalgamated emotions; anger, hurt, guilt and sorrow. The thought that I drove Eli to drugs out of concern for him hurts more than our break up. How am I supposed to go back to school tomorrow and face him, how am I supposed to pass him in the hall?
"Clare!" A familiar voice calls breaking into my thoughts and bringing me back to reality.
I know the voice well but he was supposed to have moved to Vancouver, he can't be here I must be hearing things. I look around and realize I'm in a park, a park I have never been to but I do see K.C. waving at me so I wasn't hearing things. I see that he's pushing Tyson on a swing; his mom and another woman are sitting on a blanket nearby. Considering how intently the other woman is watching Ty she must be his adopted mom. I walk over to K.C. and find myself smiling a little just from seeing him again.
"K.C. what are you doing here? It's good to see you," I smile at him and we hug tightly.
"We're just here for a couple of days, Mom and I had to come back to get a few things out of storage and tie up a few loose ends. I wasn't going to tell anyone we were here because I don't have time to visit everyone but of course I had to see Tyson, I mean Doug. I don't think I'll ever get used to calling him that. Anyway I saw you walking by, you seemed to be lost in thought and very sad and this park is nowhere near your neighborhood which begs the question what are you doing out here and what happened?" K.C. queries.
I bite my lip and look at my hands. "Eli and I broke up, again." I tell him.
"I'm sorry Clare, you guys seemed so happy this time. Why do you look guilty? What led to the breakup?" K.C. asks.
"It's a long story," I sigh.
"Hang on," K.C. says picking Tyson up out of the swing and waves for me to follow him. We walk over to Lisa and the other woman. "Mom you remember Clare and this is Doug's mom." K.C. tells me handing Ty I mean Doug to his mom.
"Of course, it's nice to see you again Clare." Lisa smiles.
"You too and nice to meet you," I reply to both women.
"Mom do you mind if I have an early dinner with Clare and I'll meet you back at the motel room?" K.C. asks.
"Very early dinner it's only," I pull out my phone and see the time, "4:30 never mind I've been wandering longer than I thought."
"No that's fine, you two catch up and why don't you take the car I can get back to the motel on my own." Lisa says handing K.C. the keys.
We both thank her and say goodbye to them, K.C. hugs and kisses Tyson one more time. Now that he's brought up dinner I realize that I'm starving and haven't eaten since breakfast. We drive a few miles to a pizza place and K.C. parks. We order a large and a couple of drinks then find a table in the back corner.
"Okay so tell me what happened," K.C. says.
"I feel a little funny talking to you about this, I mean you're my ex too and it didn't end very well with us." I remind him.
"True but our relationship is water under the bridge and now we're friends so tell me what happened with you and Eli." K.C. insists taking my hand on the table and squeezing gently.
"Well I guess it would have all started with my co-op. Asher, my co-op boss he sexually harassed me, kissed me one night and then tried to assault me in his car the next night." I inform him.
"You're kidding me!" K.C. says in disbelief.
"Wish I was. I was afraid to tell anyone, I didn't want to believe it myself and I didn't think anyone else would believe me. For a few weeks Alli was the only one that knew, I couldn't tell Eli I thought he'd snap and go after Asher so I kept it secret. Well sort of, I went to Asher's boss but he got there first and told her I was harassing him! Then I made a fool of myself by screaming at him in the middle of the office. I lied about it though, Miss Oh never found out but after I gave my final report for co-op I was really upset about it and Dallas saw me. He offered me a beer and I went with him." I confess.
"Clare you didn't! You had alcohol?" He questions in disbelief.
"Yep, with Dallas in the prop room. Guess I'm a light weight, got tipsy after one beer and Dallas kissed me." I tell him.
"Jenna never told me any of this." K.C. says.
"Jenna didn't know. I got mad at Dallas and wrote an article about the hockey team. To get revenge he and a few other Ice Hounds crashed my surprise party at Fiona's loft and Dallas told Eli we kissed, after Eli went to the Interpreter and Asher told him I was in love with him. I was forced to tell him what happened with Asher and he took it better than I thought. He promised me we'd get back at Asher together only I wanted one of his crazy schemes. Instead he told Miss Oh about the assault and I was forced into a meeting with her and my mom. I was angry about it but it was the right thing to do, I just didn't realize it then." I tell K.C. as our food comes.
"So I leave for Vancouver and the place falls apart," K.C. jokes and I smile.
"I guess I felt sort of abandoned by Eli, I wanted Asher to pay and I almost made sure it happened by putting topless pictures of myself on Asher's computer." I confess to my first boyfriend.
"No way!" Is all K.C. can say.
"I didn't, there was a girl at the office who had interned with Asher a few years ago and Asher assaulted her too. We went to the police together and now he's under investigation." I say and take a bite.
"Okay well that's good news, Eli should be happy about it not break up with you for it." K.C. comments.
"No he was happy and everything seemed okay again but the whole thing put a strain on our relationship. Then Eli began smoking pot with Jake and I was worried. I asked him not to do it again; I worried that it would mess with his meds. He told me he wouldn't but he kept doing it and no matter how much I begged or pleaded and told him he could get seriously hurt he wouldn't stop." I tell K.C. and take another bit.
"I can't believe Eli smokes pot." K.C. remarks.
"Still things were good for a while, we were happy. Mom let him stay over later; we spent all of spring break together. I knew he was smoking pot on occasion and expressed my concern; I tried to do it without nagging. Then after spring break I guess all the strings in our relationship started to break. Asher and the pot having already strained it Eli invited me to move into his locker. He found my diary and read it, read things I wrote about Jake when we were together and he took it wrong, badly and we got in a huge fight. We made up the next morning or were about to when Eli found Cam's body in the garden shed, he'd committed suicide." I inform K.C.
"Yeah Jenna did tell me about that but she didn't tell me Eli was the one that found him." K.C. enlightens me.
"I was worried about him K.C. that's all," I tell him and a few tears slip down my cheeks. K.C. puts his arm around me and I wipe the tears away. "I had no idea how finding a body would affect him, given his bipolar condition and how easily it can snap I was worried. I tried to help, to give him time but he didn't see it that way I guess. He went to a party last weekend and took this drug MDMA. I found out and it only made me worry more and I guess get more protective. Rather than talk to me we fought and he took the drug again and went streaking through the school! He also said a lot of things, a lot of hurtful things and I was hoping it was just the drugs." I confide in K.C.
"But it wasn't?" K.C. says more than asks.
"No I talked to him this morning and he said he needed space, that I was the problem and broke up with me. How can being concerned about someone you love be a problem K.C.?" I give up trying to eat, just putting my head in my hands and crying.
K.C. hugs me tightly and rubs my back gently. "It's not Clare, you had a right to be worried and you did the right thing. Eli's always been a bit unstable, quite frankly I was always a little worried about you going out with him. I was never very fond of the guy but I didn't think it was my place to say anything. I know it hurts but maybe you're better off without Eli. You're beautiful and smart and one of the best people I know. Some other guy is going to come around and appreciate how wonderful you are." K.C. tells me.
I stop crying, wiping the rest of my tears and look at him. "You always did know the right thing to say. Enough about me how's Vancouver? Your new school and everything?" I question.
"Vancouver's great, Mom loves it there. My new school's okay but nothing can compare to DeGrassi or my friends. I've made a couple good ones; I've even started seeing a girl, Rose. I haven't told Jenna about her though." K.C. tells me.
"I won't say anything; you aren't even supposed to be here right? I never even saw you." I respond and K.C. smiles.
Over the next hour K.C. and I finish the pizza and talk about everything. I'm reminded why I fell for him in the first place all those years ago and why we were able to become friends again eventually. When we're done he drives me home.
"It was really good to see you K.C. and it was just my luck you happened to be in town. I probably would have sulked around on the border of depression for days if I hadn't run into you." I say gratefully.
"Just remember you don't need Eli. You're strong, beautiful, smart and wonderful and you will find the guy that loves you for all of that. Here this is my new number, no one else here has it so don't give it to them. If you feel sad about Eli ever again just call." K.C. tells me.
"Thanks K.C. for everything, have safe trip back to Vancouver." I smile at him and get out of the car. I wave to him as he drives away and I go inside. "Mom I'm home." I call out to the living room.
"Oh Sweetie, Jake told us about you and Eli I am so sorry baby. Are you hungry?" Mom asks quickly.
"No I ate already and I think I'm going to be just fine. Got some help from an old friend. Anyway I have some homework to do." I say and go up to my room.
I don't actually get any homework done; despite my best efforts my mind always wanders back to Eli. I give up doing homework, take a shower and go to bed. I have a tumultuous dream about my relationships with Eli and wake up early. I'm silent on the drive to school that morning but Jake doesn't ask or say anything. When I get to school Adam is on the steps but I'm not sure if he's waiting for me or for Eli. He smiles and gets up when he sees me so I guess it was me he was waiting for.
"Hey you ran off from school yesterday are you okay?" He asks.
"I don't know Adam." I tell my best friend.
"Eli will come back around, you know him he always does. He'll realize his mistake and he'll apologize and want to get back together." Adam assures me giving me a big hug.
Then my phone alerts me to a text message, I pull out my phone and see it's from K.C.
K.C. Guthrie: Just reminding you that you're better off without him and beautiful and smart and strong.
I smile at the text message, the reminder of my dinner with K.C. last night and reconnecting with him making me feel good again and I decide he's right.
"You know what Adam," I say looking back at my friend, "I am okay, better than okay I'm good. After all I have my friends, all of them." I tell him.
Adam gives me a curious look but I just smile and link my arm with his walking into the school. Thanks to K.C. I'm not afraid to see or even talk to Eli anymore.
Hoped you like it Kesie Cutie and everyone else. I have a Klare one shot in the works that I will try and get up in the next couple of weeks.