Notes/Warnings: Mild sexual references, angst. Written for the Day Five prompt at dogdaysofsummer. I'm soooo late in posting some of these. :( Sorry!
The Right Thing
'I did the right thing,' Sirius told himself, staring at the closed front door, the reverberations of Remus' final slam still echoing around the room. 'He's not the man I love anymore.'
Then why does this hurt so much?
With a frown etched deep into his forehead, Sirius pushed his suddenly weary body up off the couch and wandered aimlessly about the flat he and Remus had shared for over two years. He ran the tips of his fingers over the nubby fabric of the couch, rescued from the pavement in a council clean out day; the pale timber bookshelf, sad and barren now that it was empty of Remus' favourite books; the spindly-legged hall table that Remus broke one night when they came home drunk and he tried to shag Sirius on top of it.
Things he and Remus had found or bought together. Sirius swallowed hard. Now they were his alone.
Inevitably, he gravitated towards the kitchen, the scene of the crime; the scent of sex and sweat and bitter words still lingering in the air, the destruction there a reminder of their final, drag-'em-out argument, their last vicious and vengeful fuck before Remus finally did what Sirius had screamed at him to do.
He'd packed his things and left.
Sirius picked his way through shattered plates, strewn cutlery and the remnants of their aborted breakfast, and absently, automatically, opened the fridge. It was empty bar one sad-looking withered carrot and Sirius closed his eyes against a sudden sharp jolt of pain.
It was Remus' turn to do the shopping.
His eyes began to sting, his lip trembled despite his mind's stern entreaties that this was a good thing, that Remus had been a traitor, had been keeping secrets for the other side...This was a good thing. The right thing.
Why does it feel so incredibly wrong?
Sirius shut the refrigerator door and was confronted with Remus' smiling face - captured forever on film. Before he could stop himself, Sirius reached out, stroking trembling fingers along the line of the other man's shadowed jaw, almost able to feel the stubble scraping across his skin. Remus-in-the-picture smiled a wide, carefree smile that no one but Sirius had ever been trusted with, and hot tears streaked down Sirius' cheeks. Picture Remus looked puzzled and reached out, long fingers and safe hands that had touched every inch of Sirius' skin waiting to be taken.
Sirius let out a strangled sob and flung himself against the side of the fridge so that concerned expression couldn't tear at his heart any longer. He slid down to the floor, back against the cool metal of the appliance, his eyes closing as great sobs racked his body.
He hugged his knees to his chest protectively as he wept and repeated in a choked whisper, 'I did the right thing.'
fin.