Found this on a scrap piece of paper under my bed when I was cleaning my room. Yes, it's about 3 years old cough. It's unbeta'd and meant in jest please don't take it seriously. Also, to make some of the lines fit you may have to say the words with an Aussie accent, even still I think I screwed up the whole "Bismillah" bit. Sorry 'bout that. Cheers.
Newkirk:
This is our real life
It's a bit of a fantasy
Lebeau:
Caught by the Nazi's
Now prisoners in Germany
Carter:
Open the bunk, come out in-side a treeeeeeeeeee
Hogan:
I am the Colonel, These boys are my family
Kinch:
We can come, we can go
Or reach London on our radio
Hogan:
Anytime London calls, we go out and do duty
Newkirk:
For free, for free.
Lebeau:
We're all prisoners of war, but we have time on our hands,
thought we'd crush some German war plans
Carter:
Down in the tunnel, I make ex-plo-sives!
Last night we blew a train and the Hammleburg Bridge
Marya:
Hogan!
Hogan:
Ooooooh nooooooo!
Lebeau:
She will have a plan!
Hogan:
If she comes back again this time tomorrow
Kinch:
To London?
Hogan:
To London, Leave nothing in the tunnels.
music bit
Hochstetta:
Kommandant, I'm taking over
The Gestapo's in charge now,
There's been explosions we know not how
Klink:
But I am the Kommandant of S13!
The toughest camp in all of Nazi Germany
Gertrude:
Wilhelm! Swoooooo-ooooooon! Will you marry me!
Klink:
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
music changes
Lebeau:
I see a big fat stomach of a man
Shultz:
LeBeau! LeBeau! Will you make me some strudel?
Newkirk:
Thunderbolts and lightening!
LeBeau is now an old gypsy!
Hilda:
Colonel Hogan!
Helga:
Colonel Hogan!
Tiger:
Colonel Hogan!
That chick he knocked up in that episode:
Colonel Hogan!
Lady Chitterly:
Colonel Hogan!
Hilda/Helga/Tiger/ That chick he knocked up in that episode/Lady Chitterly:
Love you so!
Hogan:
Magnifico!
Schnitzer:
I'm just a dog man, helping out Hogan
Hogan:
He's in the underground, helping with commotion!
Hochstetta:
What is this man doing here in S13!
music bit
Carter:
London called, we must go, we have bridge to blow
Shultz:
I know nothing! I know not that you go!
Lebeau:
(Pancakes Shutlz?)
Shultz:
I know nothing! I know not that you go!
Lebeau:
(Candy Shutlz?)
Shultz:
I know nothing! I know not that you go!
Lebeau:
(Strudel Shultz?)
Shultz:
Will not let you go
Lebeau:
(Strudel Shultz)
Shultz:
Know
not that you go –
Lebeau:
Strudel
Shultz:
Never
let you go – ooo
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum –
Bonachelli:
Oh
mama mia! Where's the Pizza?
In my bag find salami!
Crittendon:
Geraniums! Seem a devil of a plan to me!
Newkirk:
Ain't heeeee Loopyyyyyyyyy!
Hogan takes over the drums as everyone else starts headbanging. Klink's monocle flies across the compound
Klink:
This is bad! I can't see, I am blind in one eye!
Escaped prisoners from Stalag 5 hiding in tunnels:
It's cramped in the tunnels, can we say goodbye?
Burkhalter:
Oooooooh crazy – this camp it is crazy!
Escaped prisoners from Stalag 5 hiding in tunnels:
Gotta get out,
Hogan:
Gotta get them outta here.
music winds down
Klink:
Nothing really happens
Hogan:
Not that you can see.
But if we keep doing what we're doing
One day we'll all be free
Captain Dingle:
What's a gonculator?