Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade/Bakuten Shoot or any of its characters, so there!

Warnings/Notes: We have a few warnings in this one!

One! This contains shounen ai, so hooray for me! If you have a problem with this, feel free to leave and not complain about it.

Two! If you are familiar with my writing than the standard word of warning applies; This fic is full of silliness and insanity. If you are not familiar with my writing, then here's a word of warning; This fic is full of silliness and insanity (and as you can see it all starts in my notes- sweatdrops).

Three! (pauses to think) I'm not really sure what the third warning should be, but I want three of them so I'm going to have three of them damn it!...Err………Oh! Got it!……if you're a bishounen named Kai Hiwatari and you're in this story watch out for Tyson's busy hands! (sweatdrops) read and you'll see why……………..

Don't worry! It's not as bad as the title suggests……….it's actually a whole lot worse.

Size Really Doesn't Matter!

Chapter 1 of 3

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………………"

Kai scowled.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………………"

Max, Rei, Hilary, Kenny, Daichi and Hiro all sweatdropped.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………………"

Surrounding people in the airport stared.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………………"

Kai's left eye began to twitch.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………………"

Kai ground his teeth.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………………"

Kai clenched his fists.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………………"

Kai turned and began to walk away.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-Kai?"

Kai walked over to a counter, and gave the lady a grim smile, "Is there any chance I could get a seat on your next flight back to Russia?"

Tyson appeared at his side, "No, Kai! Don't leave! I'm sorry, I just………I just……………………." He trailed off as he looked at his older teammate, "………………………..AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………………"

Kai glowered down- no, up at him. "It's. Not. Funny," he ground out.

Tyson finally managed to control himself enough to stop laughing and settle with an amused look. "Of course it isn't."

"I fail to see how you can find it humorous at all."

"There's never been anything unfunnier."

"No one else finds it amusing."

Tyson looked behind Kai to see most of their friends sniggering or giggling into their hands. "Of course they don't."

"I don't see what the big deal is about it."

"There's nothing big about it at all," said Tyson, grinning wickedly.

Kai's glare went artic. He turned back to the lady, "How soon is the next fight."

"Kaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiii! Don't leave! I'm sorry! It doesn't matter how big you are! Size really doesn't matter!"

The girl behind the counter blushed, and her eyes flicked up and down Kai.

He caught her, and realized what she was thinking.

Pink tinged his cheeks.

"He means height!" he snapped.

The girl sweatdropped, "Err……..I knew that."

Tyson grinned and leaned on the counter towards her, "You see………" he drawled, "Kai here used to be able to glare down at me from above, but now………" he moved to pull Kai against him, showing that he was now about an inch and a half taller than the ex team captain.

The girl smiled somewhat nervously in the wake of Kai's scowling, "Well……" she said diplomatically, because the shorter boy looked like he was seconds from pulling out of the other boys grasp and inflicting bodily harm, "You're not that much taller than him………….."

Tyson grinned, "You see! So what if you're short! It's not that surprising, your grandpa's practically a midget!"

Kai growled.

"So are you staying, or going?" asked to girl.

Kai simply sighed and walked back to the others.

"You really should stop teasing him," chastised Hilary, and she looked outside the dojo at Kai, who was currently sulking by the fishpond (though if asked, Kai would claim he was definitely not sulking, he was simply glaring with a pout).

"It was Daichi!" answered Tyson hotly.

"You laughed."

"So did Rei!"

"Yes, but Rei didn't laugh until he couldn't breath."

"But-"

"And he wasn't rolling around on the floor either."

"I wasn't-"

"And he hasn't been making jokes ever since Kai arrived."

"You have to admit, the one about the door handle was funny………."

"……………………………………………………….That's beside the point!" Hilary looked extremely guilty.

"And the point is?"

Hilary gave him a very dark glare, "The point is Tyson Kinomiya, you're going to go out there and apologize. Or else."

Tyson had the distinct impression that whatever 'or else' was exactly, it was something he didn't want to know about because it sounded too painful for his own good.

"What do you want me to say? I'm so sorry you're short, Kai. Would you like me to find a way to shrink in order to make you feel better?"

"It would be a start."

Tyson huffed, "You spoil all my fun."

"It's not fun, it's being mean. Kai never made fun of you when he was taller." She paused, "Well, not about being short anyway."

"But Hilary……..If I go and apologize he'll just think I'm patronizing him, or that you made me!"

Hilary deadpanned, "I am making you."

The statement was backed up by a none too gentle shove in the direction of the door.

"Fine, fine, I'm going…………"

Hilary stared at the bluenette making his way over to their dual haired friend.

She sighed, "I have a feeling that this isn't going to end well," she paused, turned and called over her shoulder into the living room, "Hey guys! Come here quick if you want to see something really funny that's about to happen!"

Kai glared at the fish swimming idly around the Kinomiya's pond, "Stupid genes. Damn it mother! Why did you have to have a kid with a man with a short father!" he paused, "Well………at least he's not bald I suppose…….."

Kai jumped as he was poked in the side, "Wha-" he cut himself off as he turned and found that all he could see was the face of a madly grinning Tyson.

"Hey there sourpuss!"

Kai turned back to the water, "Don't call me that."

Tyson sat down next to him, "Okay Kai-chan!"

Kai blinked and his cheeks tinged pink at Tyson's use of the Japanese term of endearment, "Don't call me that either."

"Fine…………………chibi-chan." (AN: chibi means little)

"TYSON!"

"Okay I'll stop, Kai-chan."

Kai sighed as he caught the mischevious smile Tyson was wearing and gave up. He if he had to choose, he'd pick Kai-chan over chibi any day of the week, "Did you want something?"

Tyson slung an arm over Kai's shoulder, "Well…….. I've been thinking Kai-chan, and I've decided that maybe I've taken this 'I'm taller than you so ha ha' thing a little too far………."

"A little?"

"Sssh, I'm about to get to the point here babe."

Kai's eyes narrowed and he turned his head to glare into a pair of blue eyes which were sparkling with mirth, "Did you just call me-"

"So anyway, I was thinking," said Tyson loudly, cutting him off, and pulling Kai even closer so that they were nose to nose, "How 'bout we just let bygones be bygones and kiss and make up."

A pair of shocked crimson eyes widened in embarrassment before-

"Hilary! That hurts! Does it have to be so tight?"

Hilary didn't even pause as she wrapped a bandage around Tyson's head, "Yes."

"Man Tyson! He went totally nuts!" said Max from where he was lounging on the dojo's floor, "What on earth did you say to him?"

Tyson smirked, "Never you mind," he winced as Hilary pulled on the bandage, "Ouch!"

"Well we heard what he said," said Daichi putting a finger to his cheek.

"So did the whole neighborhood," said Rei darkly.

Flashback

Kai blushed uncontrollably, "EXCUSE ME! I CAN'T BELEVE IT! YOU'VE BECOME A RAGING PERVERT SINCE THE LAST TIME I VISITED YOU! NEXT THING I KNOW YOU'LL BE……….." there was a thoughtful pause, "………..Tyson……..Is that you're hand on my arse?"

There was a grin and a nod.

And in reply came a growl and a fist.

End Flashback

Hilary sighed, "He's right you know, you are perverted."

Tyson shrugged, "And he has a particularly grabable arse, what's the problem?"

"You know," said Kenny as he absentmindedly flicked through a Beyblade magazine, "The two of you have been dancing around each other for years now, just hurry up and ask him out already!"

Daichi nodded fervently, "I hate all that lovey dovey mushy stuff! And I don't even know how you could possibly find him attractive, but even I think you should get on with it," he paused and grinned lecherously, "Or at least get it on."

Tyson yelped as Hilary whacked him over the head. He glared at her, "What was that for! He said it, not me!"

Hilary scowled at him, "That was for corrupting an impressionable young mind! He was an innocent little boy until you dragged his mind through the gutter! And don't say it wasn't you because I know it was."

Tyson pouted as Daichi giggled stuck his tongue out at him.

"But," she said continuing, "Kenny and Daichi have a valid point. So stop teasing him like a little kid, get you're butt into gear and get him into the sack before someone else does!"

"But Hilary!" whined Tyson, "He'll hit me again!"

"He only hit you because you were so forward," said Rei calmly.

Max nodded, "Yeah Tyson! You know how Kai needs to be coaxed into things."

Tyson nodded thoughtfully, "So you're saying Kai's like a bowl of Ramen, you have to be patient and wait until it cools down a little so you don't burn you're tongue!"

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Well, I personally wouldn't have compared him to what we had for dinner last night, but you seem to have caught onto the idea," said Max deadpanning.

"So now go and coax him into letting you screw him senseless!" exclaimed Daichi triumphantly.

Tyson managed to dodge the slap sent his way from Hilary by the skin of his teeth, "Hey! Stop it Daichi, or my head is going to be one big bruise!"

Daichi grinned evilly, "Why do you think I keep on saying dirty things?"

"Why you little…….." Tyson moved towards Daichi, who hid behind a glaring Hilary. He huffed and stuck his nose in the air, "I don't see why you people are telling me to go after Kai anyway," he said changing the subject, "I haven't admitted to liking him or anything."

Hilary sighed, "Raise you're hand if you'd grab someone's butt if you liked them."

Everyone but Tyson rose their hand.

"Leave them up if you'd do it if you didn't like them."

Everyone put their hand down.

Tyson sweatdropped, "That doesn't prove anything."

Daichi smiled, "No, but this does!" he ran out of the room and returned a few seconds later with a small green book. He opened it and cleared his throat, "Tyson's diary, entry fifty eight, 'Dear Diary. Everyone is coming next week for a visit. I can't wait to see them again! Especially Kai! He's got such a cute butt, I just want to grab it! I wonder if he's gotten hotter since I last saw him? I've grown a bit taller, so maybe we're the same height now which means it would be a lot easier to-' GAH!"

"GIVE THAT BACK YOU LITTLE WEASEL!" yelled Tyson grabbing the little book off of Daichi, quickly shoving it into his pocket.

Hilary smiled, "Yeah, you so totally don't like him."

Tyson blushed, "Yeah, well……….fine! I like him okay? What can I do about it?"

"Tell him!" said Kenny.

"But what if he doesn't like me back?" wailed Tyson.

"He does! Trust us!"

"But how do I tell him without him punching me out again?"

"How 'bout a gift?" suggested Rei.

Hilary clapped excitedly, "Yeah! A gift! But don't make it food or flowers because then it won't last forever! Make it something thoughtful…….something that he will see often and think 'Tyson gave me that.' "

Tyson frowned in concentration, "Hmmm…………something thoughtful that he'll see everyday……….." he grinned, "I've got it!" and before anyone could ask what exactly 'it' was, he bounded out the door.

Everyone stared after him, "I've got a bad feeling about this………." murmured Max.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

TBC………….

(Obsidi grins evilly) I was going to make this a one shot, but chapters are so much more fun aren't they! (takes this as her cue to run away from the annoyed readers)