Author's Note: I needed a laugh. That's why I wrote this. Read at your own risk. LOL
Summary: The world isn't coming to an end. It's far more serious. A mission of a special kind needs to be taken on. But whose turn is it this time? What ensues is a battle of wills between Ethan and Brandt, as they try to find an answer to that question. And they are dead-set on finding that answer any way they can….
Whose turn is it?
"You're not serious, Ethan."
Ethan's look told her differently.
"Brandt, come on, tell me that at least you are smart enough not to want to do this."
The set expression on Brandt's face left no doubt that he, too, was not listening.
Jane threw her hands up with a sigh.
Benji was looking back and forth between all of them like this was a tennis match, watching what would happen next. He had missed the beginning of the altercation, but whatever this was all about, it was gonna be good.
Brandt and Ethan were just walking past Jane in the hallway, on their way out to the backyard of the house they all had been quartered in. On the way out, Ethan had grabbed a rope. Then he let Brandt courteously exit before him, as they both stepped outside. Brandt accepted the courtesy with a short, but polite nod. As he walked out ahead of Ethan, he knew his team leader would follow right after him. This was a matter of honor now.
"Guys, come on, be reasonable…!" Jane called after them.
She might as well have been talking to a wall.
Once Ethan and Brandt were outside, Brandt marked a short – maybe a quarter of a yard long – line in the grass with the heel of his shoe. Ethan meanwhile uncoiled the length of the rope, straightening out about five yards of it at roughly the middle of the rope.
Brandt grabbed one end.
Ethan grabbed the other.
"Benji?" Ethan then called out.
Benji looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He had intended to be a spectator, preferring to stay perfectly out of this, whatever this was. He hadn't intended to get anywhere between the two opponents. He valued his health.
But taking in Ethan's pointed look, and seeing Brandt watching him expectantly as well, Benji quickly concluded that his own priorities clearly didn't factor into this. At all.
"Uhm…yes?" Benji asked cautiously.
"You call it."
Oh shit. So much for staying perfectly out of this. By the time this was over, one of them was gonna kill him.
Benji quickly threw a help-seeking look into Jane's direction, in the frantic hope that she could still somehow prevent the imminent confrontation between their two friends. Or that she could at least get him out of the middle of it.
Jane's resigned posture took that hope from Benji.
'Okay. I'm dead." Benji thought, while out loud he replied with a quick smile as fake as a three dollar bill:
"O-kay. Sure. My pleasure.. I'll uhm…"
He needn't have bothered to speak any further. Both Brandt and Ethan weren't even aware of him anymore, instead facing each other over the length of the rope between them.
"Alright, this is it. I'll be waiting inside for you to come to your senses," Jane suddenly spoke up again, not willing to stand by watching this insanity for even one moment longer.
With a quick nod in both their directions, and an apologizing glance at Benji, Jane left to walk back inside the house.
Benji suddenly felt like the last buffer in the path of two oncoming trains. And he was gonna be the wreck. He just knew he was.
"Let's do this," Brandt's voice called out, bringing Benji's attention back to his task.
"Ready?" Ethan asked.
"Ready." Brandt replied.
'I'm not ready,' Benji thought.
But they began. And neither of the two opponents gave an inch in the fiercest tug-of-war that Benji had ever seen.
In the end, it took exactly 5 minutes and 27 seconds.
Jane knew because she timed it from her viewpoint behind the kitchen window.
Benji knew because he counted every single second, praying for it to be over.
Brandt knew because his hands were just starting to burn, as were his knees and the muscles in his thighs.
And Ethan knew because he accidentally smashed his right arm, the one on which he was wearing his watch, right into his face, when the rope suddenly snapped, marking the unexpected but very final conclusion of the exercise.
A conclusion that still left them without a winner.
In the end, it was Benji who came up with another idea.
"Uhm…you could just toss a coin, you know?" Benji carefully suggested, hoping the proposal wasn't gonna get him shot on sight.
Brandt and Ethan simply looked at each other. Clearly, neither was too enthusiastic about the idea, as it didn't have much to do with skill, but with simple luck. However, they both had to admit that, considering their own recent effort and less than stellar result, Benji's idea had its merit. Particularly if they wanted to get this settled in time for Jane not to simply lock them out of the house for the rest of the day.
"Alright, you got a coin?" Ethan asked warily.
Benji instantly began rummaging in his pants pocket.
"You bet," Benji hastily replied.
Hell, even if he didn't have one, Benji would have sold his last shirt to the next-best passerby on the street to get one, if necessary. Luckily, though, he didn't have to. With a smile as big as the sun, Benji held up the quarter coin he had fished out of his pocket, proud and relieved at the same time.
Benji then looked at Brandt and Ethan.
Ethan called it Heads.
Brandt called it Tails.
Benji threw the coin.
It landed on the grass.
Standing perfectly upright, stuck in the lawn.
Ethan groaned heartily. Brandt closed his eyes in almost physical pain.
Benji, for his part, wanted to disappear into the ground.
Then they all heard a loud slam of a door from the direction of the house. The front door had snapped open. Out came Jane, with a medium-sized bag in hand. Without a word, she marched right through the midst of them, barely giving Brandt and Ethan the time to jump out of her way in order not to be simply run over.
"Men…!" they all heard the faint grumble coming from under Jane's breath, as she strode past them with the bag in hand.
Benji wisely kept his mouth shut.
Brandt and Ethan looked almost guiltily at each other. But only almost, because, hey..they had tried to solve this in a civilized way.
It really wasn't their fault that none of them had been able to remember whose turn it was to take out the garbage today, now was it?
THE END