Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly/Serenity or any of its characters.

Author's Note: Just recently stumbled onto this site and was fortunate enough to find a Firefly section. As I'm sure most people that frequent this section agree, Firefly was way ahead of it's time and got cancelled way before it deserved. I had a few ideas about episodes since, but for this I've decided to write one long story. If it helps to think of it in terms of a made for TV movie, by all means, do so. I decided to divide the chapters like one of my favorite authors, George R.R. Martin, in which each chapter is named for the character the chapter is about. This story takes place after the BDM, with Wash and Book still dead. Yeah, I know it sucks but we all gotta move on sometime. This is my first fanfic, so please leave reviews for feedback, whether its positive or negative. Thanks, and enjoy.

Survivors

RIVER

She looked in child-like wonderment through the glass of the crew station, out into the infinite blackness beyond. The stars, the moons and planets; the galaxies known and unknown seemed to beckon her forward, to give her comfort. River liked to fly the ship; sometimes Serenity would talk to her, the same way it would talk to Kaylee, only a little different. Kaylee could hear when the boat was damaged or close to hurting, but River could hear that and everything else. The microscopic ions and particles, the trillions of atoms in and around Serenity. She could smell where the ship had rusted and where the food in the galley had gone bad. She could feel the crates and boxes' vibrations in the cargo bay as the contents inside shifted during the slightest of course-changes or corrections. She could even hear the crew. All of them, when they spoke, and sometimes when they didn't.

Mal had left just three minutes and twenty-seven seconds ago, telling her he was going to get some food.

"Put 'er on auto if you want, we're headin'straight for a while, " the Captain said, as he got up from the co-pilot station. He usually always sat in the station when River was flying. He didn't trust her completly yet, which was perfectly rational but still discouraging at times. "Come down to the kitchen an' get some food."

"That's okay," River told him. "I want to fly a little longer, she needs me."

"She?" Mal gave her a puzzled look, but she could tell he was only humoring her.

River turned toward him and smiled, "Serenity, she needs me to stay for a little while longer."

Mal smirked and raised his eyebrows, "Fair enough, I'll go get a bite then take over so you can eat."

River gave him a mock-salute and returned his smirk. He smiled, shook his head then walked down the stairs, past the living quarters into the kitchen where the rest of the crew had been sitting in an uneasy silence. He sat and joined them, River felt his heart begin to beat slightly faster when he looked towards the Companion, Inara. But he exhaled and slowed it down again, pushing it away, like he always did. Love made no sense to River, an emotion too complex to put into words, even for her. It was all just chemicals anyway, making small and nearly undetectable changes in the brain and convincing it that the object of affection had to be attained and kept or disaster would follow. It made no sense to her. It didn't make sense to Mal either - at least that's what he liked to tell himself. Even so, he had said that the first rule of flying was love. This had made River smile, but had confused her even more. Mal had strong emotions for three things: his ship, his crew, and Inara. Yet he was only willing to accept the first two on the list. River supposed he was just scared. Most people were. That's why they wrote the 'Don't-Be-Afraid' book that the Shepard had liked to carry around. The book didn't seem to help, most people were still afraid. People were afraid of River too. She had been okay now for a while. Since Miranda. Not one bad dream, but Simon was still treating her, he was still scared something bad would happen. Like all the others.

But not Serenity, the ship seemed alive to her, but it wasn't afraid, and it didn't understand love anymore than River did. It was just a ship, River liked that. She closed her eyes, letting herself give all her attention to Serenity. The boat groaned and creaked, sounds so small most people wouldn't notice. River crinkled her nose as the smell of dinner drifted up from the kitchen. The big one with the funny hat, Jayne, must have been cooking again. He seemed to like it when it was his turn to cook. He was the only one though. River kept her hands on the helm, kept them steady and held on as she reached out and drifted down to the kitchen to sit with the rest. River steered Serenity with ease, as she sat down beside Simon at the kitchen table. She looked at him slightly cringe as he tasted Jayne's cooking. Simon was too polite to say anything though, they all were, except Mal.

"Jayne, what do you call this?" Mal looked up from the bowl in front of him to the big man.

Jayne raised his eyebrows at the question and mustered as much sarcasm as he could, "Dunno, Mal. Din't figure to give it a name. How 'bout 'Jayne's Special Stew'? Hell, how 'bout 'food'?"

Zoe chimed in, "Is that what this is?"

Inara successfully hid a smile from Jayne, Mal was sitting right next to her though and caught it. He smiled back. River was surpised to see her brother's tact falter first. He laughed and unsuccessfully tried to disguise it as a cough. Jayne wasn't convinced.

"Somethin' funny, Doc?"

Simon straightened up, "No, no. Of course not, it's...good, I was just.." Kaylee burst out laughing and the rest followed suit. "I'm sorry." Simon said to a bewildered Jayne as he angriliy looked around the table.

"Ha ha, very funny." Jayne nodded his head. "C'mon you sissies, it ain't that bad." Jayne scooped up some of his 'special stew' and tasted it. His eyes went wide and he forced himself to swallow the vile tasting substance. The table had gone quiet as he tasted it, but began to laugh again as he got up and said, "Well, gorramit! Stop askin' me to cook then!" He pushed himself up from the table and stomped over to the kitchen, looking for a place to dispose of the sluge. After everyone's fits of laughter stopped, Kaylee said: "Well, shoot cap'n, I'm hungry. We got anything else to eat in this kitchen?"

Mal shrugged, "Reckon we do. Don't believe it would taste any better'n what Jayne served us though."

"Where are we headed, sir?" Zoe asked directly, being sure not to give away any sign of emotion on her face.

She hasn't let herself feel it, River thought to herself, and she's scared... She hasn't told them.

Mal pushed the bowl of stew away, "We're flyin' blind. Way I figure it, safest thing to do right now. Since Miranda..." He trailed off, everyone seemed to shift uncomfortably at the name, and River found herself back at the helm, shivering, though she wasn't cold. " We need to lay low for a spell, get our bearing back..." She heard Mal's voice say before it faded away and her attention was back on Serenity. Silly questions began to form in her head then, questions she couldn't answer; voices she'd never heard before; places she hadn't been. She reeled, trying to steady her grip on the controls.

No, not now. I've been right for so long now. Why now? River shuddered and shook her head. Have to focus. Stay focused. She needs you, she said so... She reeled again, but this time she couldn't hold on.

I tried, I tried. Help me when I'm not right. I see them. Simon. They're there, where we will be. They're waiting for us, but not for us. For something else, can't see it...

River felt the ship lurch left with her as she fell from the seat and onto the floor, she heard herself screaming but couldn't stop it. Heard the words coming out of her mouth without her telling them to: "Two by two, hands of blue, two by two, hands of blue, hands of blue..." Hands touched her shoulder and a calm voice asked her things she couldn't hear. Simon. For a moment the world turned right again and the screaming stopped. Serenity came back to her and began making its sounds and smells again. She saw Mal at the controls, fighting to make her fly straight again, to make her calm. River felt the empty feeling come back, and the stars blurred outside of the glass and she felt her stomache empty onto the deck. Why does it run out, when everything else runs in? She felt Simon pick her up then, he wasn't very strong, but she felt safe. He can't make them stop. She began to understand the words he said then, the rest of them were talking too as Simon carried her through the galley.

"River," he sounded frantic, trying to calm his voice. "River can you hear me? It's Simon. Can you hear me, mei mei?"

"What happened to 'er now, thought she was over them crazy spells."

"Jayne, you're not helping. Simon, it there anything we can do?" The companion's voice always sounded like a song. River smiled lazily.

"No. Thank you," her brother said it politely, but River could sense the panic behind his words. "I just need to get her to the infirmiry."

"Jayne, cargo bay." Zoe signaled him over her shoulder as she walked quickly towards the hatch. "Better make sure nothin' got too rattled."

"Goe niang yang de," The ape swore as he truged behind the woman. " Just when I was startin' to like her, she's makin' me do grunt work.."

The intercom crackled overhead: "Kaylee! I need you in the engine room, she won't straighten out.. think it's the...Hurry it up!"

Kaylee looked apologetically at Simon, "I'll be right back..." She turned and ran down the corridor. There was smoke coming from the engine. She ran faster.

River heard herself say. "Tell her I'm sorry..."

"Who, mei mei?" He was always confused by the simplest things she said. She rolled her eys at him.

"Serenity, tell her I didn't mean to leave her alone..." Simon layed her on the operating table in the infirmiry, and began opening drawers and cupboards, frantically searching for the right medicine.

"That's okay, the Captain has her now. You didn't do anything wrong." His voice was soothing, like it always was when she was hurt. River felt a needle go into her arm and winced in irritation. "Just lay here until you feel like you can-"

River sat up and calmly got off the table. "I'm fine now." She said it plainly to his face. It was true. The voices were gone now, no more unfamiliar pictures. She touched the place where the needle stuck her. "We can't stop it now, too many things in the way. Not by ourselves..." She trailed off, and felt Simon catch her as she began to fall and put her back onto the table. She was impossibly tired. Just for a little while. For a little while... She told herself as she closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.