Welcome Back

Itachi woke up early in the morning and noticed that Natsuki wasn't next to him; instead, he saw a note where she should've been.

'Hmm… Natsuki woke up earlier than me… must be something incredibly special happening. Maybe Dairuko is returning to Konoha with Hinata for good this time.' Itachi thought then got out of bed.

Itachi started making himself some eggs and got the distinct feeling that he was forgetting something, but he ignored it, figuring it will come to him during the course of the day. He soon realised he was out of tea, so he made himself look presentable before walking to the shop. As he was leaving the store, he noticed Tsunade outside the tea shop.

"Ohayogozaimasu, Tsunade-sama." Itachi greeted.

"Ah ohayo, Itachi." Tsunade turned and greeted Itachi, who got the shock of his life.

"Tsunade-sama… your… eyes."

"Ah yes, these… I bought them."

"You bought Sharingan… contact lenses?"

"Well, yes. I'm auditioning for a play… you know, not many people know this, but I was quite the actress in my younger days." Tsunade said proudly then cleared her throat and did her best Itachi voice. "I am… Uchiha Itachi."

"Uhm…"

"It's okay to be star struck, Itachi. Whispers of my acting skills are still in circulation 'til this day."

"Uhm… g-good luck for your audition, Tsunade-sama." Itachi stammered- and Itachi does not stammer easily.

"No luck required." Tsunade stated and placed her hands on her hips while Itachi slowly backed away.

'I could've gone the day without seeing that.' Itachi thought to himself as he left the shop with his tea.

As Itachi walked through the village he encountered Rock Lee who also had Sharingan contacts, but had drawn on lines on his face to match the ones on Itachi's own face.

"Ah, Itachi-san, ohayogozaimasu!" Lee greeted.

"Good… good morning." Itachi replied warily.

"Itachi-san, can I ask your opinion on something?"

"Uhm…"

"Thank you," Lee cleared his throat. "I am Uchiha Itachi."

'Is this a dream… no, a nightmare?'

"Lee, you are disturbing Itachi-san." Neji said as he showed up with his eyes closed and arms tucked into his sleeves. "Besides… I am Uchiha Itachi." Neji declared and opened his eyes to reveal his Sharingan contacts. "Byaku-Sharingan!"

"Byaku-Sharingan doesn't make you Itachi-san!"

"Neither does drawing lines on your face!"

"Let's ask Itachi-san what he thinks about it." Neji and Lee turned to Itachi who was nowhere to be seen.

"Where did he go?" Lee scratched his head.

"All I wanted was some tea… not to find the whole village losing their minds and wearing Sharingan contact lenses. Where did they even find them? Why are there even Sharingan contact lenses in the first place!" Itachi mumbled to himself as he walked home. He turned the corner and saw Ayame hanging up something on a wall. "Ohayo, Ayame-san." Itachi greeted and Ayame jumped a little.

"I-Itachi-kun! O-ohayo ano… how are you?" Ayame asked.

"What are you doing?"

"N-nothing."

"Okay." Itachi said, then easily looked past Ayame and saw a poster that read; 'Uchiha Itachi: The Musical.'

"… What is that?"

"Uhm… it was Dairuko's idea." Ayame said quickly.

"Of course it was… why?"

"It's your birthday, Itachi-kun." Ayame said and after a second it clicked in his own head.

"Oh… so it is." Itachi said and Ayame laughed.

"You forgot your own birthday?"

"I've had a lot on my mind."

"I know what that's like, Itachi-kun."

"Keiko-chan giving you trouble again?"

"Yeah, she really is Dairuko's daughter. I can't wait to see her face when she sees her father again." Ayame smiled.

"I'll send him straight to the restaurant."

"Thanks, Itachi-kun."

"You're welcome… now tell me about this musical." Itachi said.

"Ano…"

Itachi stood at the entrance to Konoha, waiting for Dairuko to return with Hinata after their three years of training abroad. Itachi heard Dairuko's voice in the distance.

"Yo, Itachi!" Dairuko called out and Itachi just sighed.

"Hello, Dairuko… Hinata-sama." Itachi greeted as they got closer, bowing his head slightly to Hinata.

"Ah man, I missed you. How long has it been like, 6 months since my last visit?" Dairuko said, then gave Itachi a bear hug that lifted the latter off the ground. Hinata laughed slightly.

"Hello, Itachi-san." Hinata greeted.

"You're looking a lot more confident since I last saw you, Hinata-sama… stronger; I just hope that Dairuko hasn't corrupted your soul."

"He hasn't." she said lightly, "I'm still the same, Itachi-san."

"I'm not that bad."

"Yes, you are." Itachi and Hinata both said.

"You guys are the worst." Dairuko said.

"I see you let your hair grow out." Itachi noted of Hinata's hair growth.

"Thanks for noticing man. I wasn't sure about it at first, but now… it kinda grew on me… get it?" No one laughed. "Get it? … Ah, you guys suck."

"Dairuko, we need to discuss this 'Uchiha Itachi Musical' while Hinata-sama meets with her family and friends."

"Ano… I, uhm… let me explain." Dairuko said.

Natsuki sat on a tree branch watching two shinobi walk pass her, before she jumped in front of them and kicked both shinobi into a tree, where two black snakes wrapped around them.

"Where's Kabuto?" Natsuki asked. She and Ren had been searching for Kabuto for over a year now; with each lead taking them to a dead end- until now. Natsuki and Ren had finally found him.

"We're not betraying Kabuto-sama!" One shinobi exclaimed.

"Come out and face us, you traitorous bastard! The second shinobi added.

"You guys asked for it." Natsuki said and Ren appeared from behind her.

"You should've told her when she asked… now before I ask you, let me show you what will happen to you." Ren said as his eyes changed into that of a lizard, then the two shinobi screamed as Ren put them under a special genjutsu that showed them their deaths at his hands.

"He's in the abandoned warehouse near the docks!" They both screamed.

"Thank you for your cooperation." Ren said and had acid shoot from his mouth onto one of the shinobi's face. He screamed in pain as the acid ate away at his skin.

"But you said-" the second shinobi started but was cut off by Ren spewing acid on him as well.

"I said I'll show you what will happen." Ren simply said when a third shinobi, who had been hiding, started running away. "Would you like to get this one, Natsuki?"

"…With pleasure." Natsuki gave a sadistic smile before activating her Lightning Sage mode and, in a flash of black lightning, the shinobi's left arm was severed and Natsuki stood in front of him with her sword.

"P-please don't." He begged but Natsuki just stabbed him and watched the life leave his eyes.

"Begging is so pathetic." She said before pulling out her sword and walking back to Ren. "Let's go."

"After you." Ren said and followed after her.

While they walked to the warehouse, Natsuki thought about how -once they had Kabuto- she could finally have someone on the inside of Hoka feeding her information so she can strike them from the inside, and out.

"You can't keep what we're doing a secret forever, Natsuki-chan." Ren said.

"I'll deal with that when the time comes." Natsuki simply said.

"You certainly are attractive when you're distant."

"Shut up, we've got work to do."

After escaping Itachi's wrath Dairuko went to find two of the few people he genuinely missed.

"You get more beautiful every damn time I see you." Dairuko said to Ayame as he stood in the doorway with a smirk.

"Dairuko!" Ayame exclaimed and ran into Dairuko, giving him a hug and a lingering kiss.

"I missed you too." Dairuko said, as he held Ayame by her hips off the ground.

"Itachi knows about the musical."

"I knew he would find out eventually. How many applicants did we have?"

"Dairuko, before we talk about your prank you have someone else you need to see."

"Yes… my mother."

"Dairuko, you're trying to play dumb again. It won't work a second time."

"Had a feeling it wouldn't… where is my daughter?"

"She was abducted by her grandmother."

"I'll go save her and be back in time for my coming home present." Dairuko winked.

"Just go, Dairuko." Ayame smiled and Dairuko left.

As Dairuko walked through the village, he realised that Ayame hadn't commented on his hair, which was now shoulder length.

'What kind of girlfriend doesn't notice her baby daddy's new hair?' Dairuko thought when he found Tsunade in the park with a small baby that had white blonde hair and dark brown eyes.

"Hello, mother." Dairuko greeted and Tsunade turned around.

"The Prodigal son returns." Tsunade said and the two stared at each other in tense silence.

"I missed you!"
"I missed you!" they both exclaimed.

"But I missed my number one girl in the whole world more." Dairuko said and held the baby. "You missed daddy too right, Keiko?"

"Yessth." The baby said.

"Sh-sh-she can talk?"

"Yes, she said her first word two months ago, been talking ever since. Still has a 'th' to her words."

"Hold her please." Dairuko handed Keiko to Tsunade and passed out.

"Not again." Tsunade sighed and slung Dairuko over his shoulder. "Your mother did this on purpose, didn't she?"

"Yessth."

"I'm the best grandparent in the world right, Keiko?"

"Yessth."

"I knew it." Tsunade smiled to herself and carried her son and granddaughter back home.

Meanwhile

Kabuto went flying through the wall of the warehouse. It was needless to say that Ren and Natsuki had found him, they were currently 'convincing' him to help them in their fight against the Hoka.

"Just agree, Kabuto, and save us all a lot of time." Natsuki said as she and Ren walked towards Kabuto.

"What you're asking me to do is suicide!" Kabuto argued.

"If Orochimaru asked you to do the same thing you would follow it, no questions asked." Ren said then pulled off his face to show Orochimaru's. "Isn't that right, Kabuto?" he said in Orochimaru's voice.

"No! I won't do it!" Kabuto exclaimed.

"So be it." Ren said and Natsuki ran her Chidori through Kabuto's chest. "You sure that was necessary, Natsuki?"

"He wasn't going to help us. Better to have no loose ends." Natsuki said and left.

"I really like this side of you, Natsuki-chan." Ren said after putting his actual face back on.

"I'm spoken for."

"Ah yes. Him." Ren sneered. "One of the last Uchiha… a dead clan even before they were killed."

"What do you mean, 'one of the last'?"

"There were two other Uchiha I was keeping tabs on, but they are an old couple, nearing death now, and no direct relation to your dear Uchiha prince."

"Why were you keeping tabs on two Uchiha?"

"Why not? I was curious as to why two Uchiha clan members never returned to Konoha to exact revenge for the deaths of their kinsman. Turns out they were too old."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because after all our time together, you still don't trust me. You're so paranoid, just like your boyfriend-" Ren was cut off by Natsuki holding a Chidori to his throat.

"You really need to stop talking."

"Did I hit a nerve?" Ren smirked.

"If you did, I doubt you'd be talking with my hand through your throat."

"Oh? I like this game." Ren said and Natsuki just smirked and let him go.

"You and Dairuko are the same." Natsuki said.

"I'm what?"

"You're like Dairuko."

"I'm nothing like that egotistical moron!" Ren said and grabbed Natsuki by the neck. "Dairuko is a fool; trash! Don't you compare me to him!"

"Did I hit a nerve?" Natsuki smirked and Ren let her go.

"Very funny, now go before you miss the party."

"What party?"

"Itachi's party." Then it clicked in Natsuki's head.

"Oh shit!" Natsuki exclaimed then activated her Lightning Sage mode and ran straight back to Konoha, leaving a trail of fire in her wake.

Itachi sat and watched the musical of himself. As embarrassing as it was, he enjoyed the makeshift low budget musical with Neji playing Itachi- who actually did a decent job. Unfortunately, the same enjoyment couldn't be said for his party. As much as Itachi appreciated all the people who came, parties weren't his scene, so when the time was right, he snuck out without anyone noticing and sat on top of Tobirama's head on the Hokage mountain with the breeze blowing through his hair when Dairuko landed on Hashirama's head.

"Sneaky bastard you are, Uchiha Itachi." Dairuko said as he sat down.

"You know parties aren't for me." Itachi said.

"Yeah, well, Ayame wouldn't listen when I told her. She thought I was just trying to skip out of cleaning up after a party as well as the play."

"I find that to be a valid concern."

"If I wanted to, I'd skip out on cleaning."

"True enough."

"Itachi! Keiko can talk!" Dairuko exclaimed excitedly.

"I know."

"C'mon man, you're the only real friend I got. Can't you feign even a little enthusiasm for me, 'cause I need to tell someone who gets excited as well." Itachi took a deep breath and put on a genuine smile.

"Congratulations, Dairuko."

"Thanks man."

"Dairuko, we need to talk about Natsuki."

"What's up?"

"She's hiding something from us." Itachi said and Dairuko became very serious.

"I had a feeling you'd notice as well… when I got back today, I had Shizune bring me up to speed on you guys' escapades, and I read Natsuki's report on her mission to the Land of Lightning."

"It was too vague for a report from Natsuki."

"Exactly. Natsuki's like a beta, pointing out plot holes that should be dealt with."

"That group she encountered is what gets my attention."

"I hear that there's something off about them, like there's more to this than Natsuki reported." They both remained silent until there was an explosion from the direction of the party. They both stood up and jumped towards the party to investigate.

When they arrived they saw Natsuki and Tsunade tending to the wounded. Natsuki pointed to a running figure, and Dairuko and Itachi took off after the figure.

Itachi and Dairuko chased the figure through the woods and the figure formed water chakrams before throwing the saucers of death at their pursuers, but Dairuko and Itachi both dodged the attacks easily, not losing any ground in the process.

"Damn they're fast." Dairuko said.

"But not faster than us." Itachi said then noticed that the figure was not familiar with the woods noting that they passed several paths that would aid their escape. "Dairuko." Itachi said and when Dairuko looked over, Itachi nodded and so did Dairuko then, Itachi broke left while Dairuko kept following the figure.

"You should just give up now before I hurt you even more than I already plan to!" Dairuko called out to the figure before summoning a large shuriken. "Overly Large Shuriken of Doom!" Dairuko then threw the shuriken, but the figure stopped and caught the shuriken before throwing it back at Dairuko who ducked under it. "Okay, they're strong too." Dairuko added before chasing after the figure again.

As the figure ran, they were cut off by Itachi who appeared from the left side with a punch. The punch didn't seem to have any effect on the figure and they punched Itachi right back without slowing down. Dairuko had a branch appear in front of him and when he reached it he broke it off, and then threw it as a spear that pierced the figure through the back, but the figure kept moving until they reached a cliff and jumped off into the ocean.

"Holy shit!" Dairuko exclaimed then looked over the cliff and saw his makeshift spear floating in the water.

"My Sharingan can't see them." Itachi said searching the water for anyone swimming.

"Where's a Neji when you need one?"

"I'm right here." Neji said, arriving on the scene. "Byakugan!" Neji scanned the water and found nothing. "I can't see him."

"How do you know it's a him?" Dairuko asked.

"Males have a different chakra emission than females."

"Alright, so is there any way to avoid Byakugan detection?" Itachi asked.

"Move out of range of sight."

"Well that's not possible. He'd have to dive deeper into the water than is humanly possible." Dairuko said.

"The only other way is a special eye jutsu that my team and Naruto encountered once before that can trick the Byakugan into seeing something else."

"That's not it." Itachi said. "If it were, he'd have to be holding his breath this entire time we've been talking."

"So what? He just vanished?" Dairuko asked.

"As unlikely as it is, it is possible."

"So we got some guy who's fast, strong, tough and just blew up a part of Konoha and may or may not be able to disappear into thin air." Dairuko said.

"Welcome back." Itachi said.