Different

I sit down on my bed. I feel like shit. I have had a fever for the past week and a half. I have also been looking really pale lately. Mom said she is going to take me to the doctor tomorrow during school, so we can get some blood work done. I look up at myself in the mirror. I am starting to develop a bruise on my arms. I take a smaller mirror and look at my back through it using the bigger mirror. Oh my God. My whole back is black and blue.

"Mom! Come up here please, I don't know what happened!" I say with tears welling up in my eyes. I hear her running up the stairs. I lift up my shirt again and show her my back. "Oh my gosh, who did this to you honey?' Well, nobody of course, nobody would even try to hurt me, because they know my boyfriend would beat the shit out of them. It makes sense because I am the most popular girl in school. Everyone thinks my life is perfect. They think I never get sick, or have bruised skin. But let's keep it that way. If anybody found out about this, it would ruin my reputation.

"Mom, you know nobody would have the nerve to touch me. Nobody did it, and I didn't do it either." I say without as much worry in my voice, because if she knows I am worrying, she will start worrying. And it gets pretty bad after that.

"Well, if no one did it to you, then why is it there? Maybe you fell off the bed last night and you just don't remember. It doesn't look too bad, and besides, we are going to the doctor tomorrow anyway." Okay, as long as she says it's not that bad, it's probably not as bad as it looks.

When she walks out of my room, I grab my cell phone. I dial Alex's number.1 ring… 2 rings… 3 rings… "Hello?" He says. It sounds like he just got up.

"Hey, it's Dustin, I just wanted to call and say goodnight"

"Oh hey baby, how are you doing? I miss you, I haven't seen you since Wednesday." Of course he hasn't, because today was a snow day, and I have had cheerleading practice all day.

"I miss you too, I think I forgot to tell you, but I won't be in class tomorrow morning, I have to go to the doctor and get some blood work taken."

"Okay, then I will miss you even more, but I guess I will see you when you get back. Babe, I got to go to sleep, but I will call you in the morning, I love you." After he says I love you, I could have sworn I heard another girl ask who he was talking to. Maybe not, I don't know, I am probably just tired, I have been cheerleading all day, and I probably just need a break.

When I wake up the next morning, I feel sick, still, so I go to the bathroom, and take a pee. When I'm finished doing my business I go over to the sink and wash my hands, and then my face. I take a good look in the mirror at my face. I still am as pretty as I usually am, but I just feel like crap.

I get dressed into some sweats, and a t-shirt. I go down stairs and make myself some vegetarian bacon and some eggs. As I am making my breakfast my mom comes down, and I remember to start making her coffee, While my veggie bacon is heating up, I get the coffee out. I look at my mom ,

"Mom, decaf or caffeinated?"

"I guess caffeinated, I am really tired this morning, I need some energy."

"Well how about I make you some eggs, I am making myself some, so I can add in some for you…"

"That would be great, thank you."

After I eat my eggs and fake bacon, I get my book bag out of my room, because I know as soon as we are done at the doctors' we are going straight to school.

When we get there, I get the chills because I am extremely afraid of needles. I have been trying not to think about them since I knew we were gonna go, but I am extremely afraid.

When we walk in, I sit down. I see a lot of children, and the sign says oncology. I have heard of that word before, but I don't know what it means. I can tell my mom is very stressed right now, so I don't want to ask her what it means. When the lady calls my name, I become very nervous. I feel like I can't breathe, and while she leads us to a room, there are a few other kids getting their blood taken. I see the needle that the nurse is taking out. Oh no, I can't breathe, I think I'm going to throw up! I can't…see… And that's the last thing I remember.

I open my eyes. Where am I? I don't remember anything but blacking out at the doctor's office when I saw a needle. I look to my side, and I see my mom sitting in a chair. She is the only one I have. When I was 7, my dad was shot. He worked at the white house, and was a security guard, and I guess someone was against Obama, and he got shot. So it's just her there. I ask what is going on because she is sitting there crying. When she notices I am awake, she comes up to me and gives me a huge hug. She says it's all gonna be okay, and that she will be right back. Why the hell does she just leave when I realize that I am in a fucking hospital? Who the hell does that? When she comes back in, Stephanie (my best friend) is following her.

"Stephanie here, has been here waiting all night for you to wake up. As soon as she heard you were in the hospital, she skipped school, and came here to be with you." Stephanie's parents don't give one shit about her, they only give a shit about their money, so I have always felt bad for her. I remember the first time I met her, we were both 7 years old, and I was sitting on my front porch crying about my dad, and I heard her mom screaming at her, and she came outside of her house and she sat on her front porch. When she saw me crying, she came all the way across her front yard, just to ask me what was wrong. We both have really big houses, some people call them mansions, and that's why some people don't like us, because we are the most popular kids, and because of our money. But when I looked up at Stephanie, I saw a big bruise on her face. I asked her about it, and she said her mom did it to her. And since that day, she was my best friend. And she still is, and we still live right next to each other.

She runs up to me and gives me a huge hug. I realize then that she is crying. What? Stephanie hardly ever cries, and she only ever cries in front of me, she wouldn't dare cry in front of even my mom. She isn't a very sensitive person. So maybe what they found in the test results wasn't so great…

"What's wrong? Why are you guys crying, I just passed out, it's not that big of a deal, really, I'm fine." I say. It seriously can't be that bad. "Dustin, how about you and Stephanie go downstairs and get something to eat." Mom says while handing me a twenty dollar bill. I'm guessing she is also gonna let me pay for Stephanie. When we walk out of the room, I see at least 50 people in what I am guessing is the waiting room. "Oh my gosh, are all these people here for me?"

Yeah, you know you're the most popular girl at school, you should be getting used to all of this attention." She says that because I used to be a girl that no one ever knew. If someone brought up my name, someone would ask who that was. But then I started growing boobs, and started to get really pretty (although I was always adorable) and one of the really popular guys asked me out, and we are still going out. (I'm talking about Alex) But she is right, I became popular three years ago. And now I am in high school, and I'm still the most popular girl in school. Everybody looks up at me, and everyone starts running up to me and hugs me. And then I see my boyfriend. I start to get a huge smile on my face, until I see him talking to a girl. I don't know her, but I start to become very jealous. "Hey, baby!" I say trying to get his and the girl's attention, so she knows that he's mine.

"Hey babe!" He runs up to me and gives me the biggest hug ever.

"Who is she?" I say quietly. "Oh, this is my friend from that dance I went to that I was talking about. You know, the one you were too sick to go to… Her name is Daria."

"Oh, hi Daria, I'm Alex's girlfriend, Dustin. It's nice to meet you, but I have to go talk to Stephanie, can we talk in like 30 minutes Alex?" I try to say hoping to let Daria realize that I am Alex's girlfriend, and nobody can mess with me.

"Of course we can babe, I love you" and after he says I love you, I take his neck in my arms, and I give him a super long kiss on the lips. With tongue of course.

When we reach the cafeteria, I sit down, and I guess she realizes that I'm not hungry, and I don't want to eat, I want to talk about what the hell is going on.

"Okay, so what the hell is going on?" I say.

"Dustin, you have… you have Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Your mom and I decided that I would be the one who tells you. We both agreed that mom wouldn't be able to handle telling you. I'm sorry, I love you so much."

"Yeah, that is what oncology is. Your type of leukemia is very bad. And they don't really have a cure exactly, but what they said was that they were going to start the vigorous chemotherapy when you woke up." She answers as tears start streaming down her face like a river. Drip, drop, drip, drop. I didn't know what to say. Leukemia is a cancer. Chemo helps treat cancer. It's all coming back to me now. I remember all of those times I was talking to Stephanie in the middle of health, my teacher was talking about Leukemia. I remember some parts of it that I was sort of paying attention to when Stephanie skipped school, and it was that Acute Myeloid Leukemia that could kill you in less than a year. I know loosing my hair right now isn't a real big deal, but I'm going to lose my hair! Well, look on the bright side; I've always wanted to wear one of those gorgeous wigs for an actual reason other than because it was just pretty! "There has to be some sort of mistake! This can't be happening to me Stephanie! This is just too much for me! I can't handle this all on my own!" I start getting tears in my eyes, and I start to panic. Stephanie has seen me panic before. She is the only one who knows I'm not perfect. And I'm the only one who knows her mom beats her.

"Dustin, you need to calm down, okay? Everything is going to be okay. The doctors are going to take care of you. You don't need to worry about that right now. What you need to worry about is fighting this and getting better." Who says I can get better? I'm only 15, and this has to happen to m? Now that I have a deadly type of cancer, I can't stick with my goals; Going to college, getting married and having beautiful children.

When we go back upstairs to my hospital bedroom, my mom is sitting on a chair reading. I can't tell if she is crying or not though. I just realized I have been pulling a "fluid pull" the entire time. I am so glad I wasn't awake when they put the IV's in me, or I would have screamed and cried even more than I did when I passed out.

"Hey mom!" I exclaim. I notice she is sitting down on a chair reading her book. She is reading one of the books written by our favorite author, Nicholas Sparks. She is at the end of the book, and I can tell she is crying.

"Oh, hi girls. I didn't know you guys were gonna be back so early! Sorry, I am a little bit emotional, but it's not like you guys haven't seen me like this before." She looks at both of us, and starts reading her book again, and continues to cry. Stephanie and I have known each other for so long, that we are basically like sisters. She sleeps over at my house almost every night she is home, when she isn't on vacation with her mom. My mom usually prefers to call Stephanie my sister and her daughter.

"I think I'm ready to start the chemo, mom." She looks up at me, and nods, and I turn around and I see someone who looks like my nurse, and I guess she heard what I said, so she nods towards the bed. I lay down on the bed, and try to get comfortable. The nurse puts something down on the table, and leaves the room. When she comes back, she is holding a little container of liquid I am guessing. And one other person steps into the room, and she is wearing gloves, and a mask. The first nurse starts to put on gloves and a mask on, and ties something around her stomach. And they tell me to relax as they get a needle out and open the container. My mom looks at me and continues to cry. But I am not sure if she is crying because of the book anymore. I look up at Stephanie, and she is praying, and there are tears coming down her face. The nurse brings the liquid into the needle. For some odd reason, I don't freak out for seeing the needle. I actually feel like I am in peace from it. Like nothing can hurt me anymore. She sticks it in me, and I then realize I am crying. I don't feel any pain. I pray to keep my mother and Stephanie at rest, and okay. And I slowly drift off into a deep, dark sleep.