Title : Choices
Rating : PG-13
Category : General/Angst
Summary : Kagome made her final decision and it's a bittersweet one. Disclaimer : Inuyasha belongs to Takashi Rumiko. I own nothing.
AN :I'm more of a Kikyou/Inuyasha fan. I have nothing against Kagome, she's cute and she's well suited for him as well. Only that the storyline between Kikyou/Inuyasha grabs my attention more. Kind of like Kenshin/Tomoe's love.
The moon was bright tonight, its pale light streaming down steadily through the trees, creating pools of light on the ground. The forest was still but not quiet, crickets chirped from the undergrowth. An odd bird would flutter off its perch from the branch above her, creating a cacophony of beating wings in the air. The dried leaves crunched under her loafers as she made her was through the trees towards a particular spot. She could see the faintly glowing bluish-white lights from the distance and had made her way over to the direction, knowing exactly who she would find at this unholy hour.
She stopped at the edge, watching as serpent-like demons which shone an eerie blue-white light, flew above the still figure below them. Every now and then, one would swoop down towards the person, dropping a small, glowing ball at her. The ball will be absorbed right into her body, disappearing completely from view. The soul snatchers cast a hauntingly beautiful light around the area where Kikyou was standing, her face tilted upward, the pale moonlight and the soul snatchers's lights illuminating her face, making her look even paler than before. The lights seem to cast a halo around her, making her looking ethereal from the distant where Kagome stood watching silently, as if she was out of this world. In a way, she was. Neither living nor dead, doomed to walk in this world with the living.
"Wench, what do you want now?" The miko had not even turned around but knew she was there, from her sharp senses. Dead or not, Kikyou's senses were still sharp, her aim with a bow and arrow even sharper.
Kagome stepped away from the safety of the shadows, coming to stand a few feet behind her, ignoring the skin prickling feeling she always get whenever she come head on with the miko. The soul snatchers made no move to beat her back, maybe because their mistress did not give the order to do so. Still, she was wary of them.
"Demons will find you a tasty morsel, particularly with the jewel around your neck," the miko continued. She finally deigned to turn around to face her, hands hanging loosely by her sides. Her usual weapons were placed against the trunk of the tree.
Not for the first time, Kagome was struck by the ethereal beauty the miko exuded. The paleness of her skin contrast sharply against the inky black hair, making her fairness stand out strongly. The scarlet hakama she wore stood out strongly against all the white, looking like someone had splashed bright red blood on her from the waist down.
"The shards have all been found, Naraku is dead, what will you do now, girl?" asked the miko, eyes staring at her unblinkingly. Dead, cold eyes that held no emotion in them at all. Like herself who was – is – dead.
Kagome found herself thrust into the turmoil that had been plaguing her since the day the Shikon no Tama had been completed. She had pushed it to the back of her mind two days ago, trying not to think about it too much. She knew she had delayed the decision until now, and she can delay it no longer. She had to make a choice soon.
"I–I'm not sure yet," she murmured.
Kikyou clucked her tongue like a mother hen calling to her chicks, head tilting to one side, brows set in what appeared to be a disapproving expression. It seem almost comical on such a face that was always set in seriousness.
"Not sure?" Kikyou said in mocked dismay. "All this time and you have never given thought of what will you do when you finally piece together the jewel?"
Kagome scowled at the miko though Kikyou didn't look phased by her glare. "I have thought about it," she snapped at her.
"Then you must know what you must do." Kikyou smiled, a smile lacking any real feelings behind it and lacking in humor.
"If you mean that I should leave..."
"If you leave, you won't be coming back here again," said the miko smoothly, her voice was sweet as honey but laced with malice. "Not unless you are thinking of wishing him human and bringing him along?" Her brows raised at her in mild inquiry then she chuckled, seeing Kagome's expression. "Oh, you were thinking of bringing him to your time. How very sweet and how very foolish."
All at once, Kagome watched as Kikyou's demeanor changed. She turned cold, frosty as the first winter snow, her eyes were like chips of ice as she stared at her. Kagome herself turned just as cool towards he as well.
"Excuse me?" she said, her scowl intensifying. Under normal circumstances, it would have been impressive, should Shippou or Sango were here but directed at Kikyou, it was useless. As before, the miko barely raise an eyebrow at her fierce scowl.
"Do you expect him to drop everything to follow you to your time, like the dog you thought he is?" Kikyou's tone cut through her like the ice cold wind. "He can never belong in your time. It's not his world, no matter how human he appear to be. He is nothing like a mere human boy that you shower your affections on. Lest you forget, he is a demon, wild and dangerous." A thought seem to occur to her. "And what if he wants you to stay with him, here in this time?"
"I–I would be willing..." To her ears, Kagome's own words seemed hesitant, uncertain and weak. She couldn't seem to muster up the firmness in her words, to make Kikyou know that she was confident of staying. Inside, she knew why she sounded like that.
"Will you?" Kikyou was now coming towards her leisurely, hands loose at her sides, swinging slightly as she walked. Her steps were small, precise and graceful, reminding Kagome of the geisha she had seen at Ginza, moving about like the delicate butterfly, very prim and proper with ladylike poise.
"Of course," answered Kagome. There was conviction in her tone but it was still riddle with the uncertainties she felt churning inside.
"To leave your family, your friends and your life behind forever? Just to stay with him? Are you that willing to throw it all away?" Kikyou reached out a pale hand, grasping her hair, bringing up to her face, taking a small whiff of the scent. The motion made Kagome shudder with revulsion, and she jerked away from the miko, disgust clear on her face.
"Yes! Yes, I am!" she all but shouted at the miko. "I love him and I know he does love me as well."
"Does he?" Kagome stopped, staring at Kikyou with wide eyes. "Are you certain of his love for you, wench? Tell me, has he told you he loves you only?"
At Kagome's silence, the miko chuckled humorlessly. "My, my. Even you can't be certain of his love for you. I do not blame you though. He wavers between you and me. When he is with you, he thinks of me. When he is with me, he thinks of you. The human heart of his is fragile and indecisive. He does not know who to choose and who he wants. Can you say for certain that you will stay with him here when he cannot even decide who he wants to be with? He will never be satisfied with either one of us, when he can come to me whenever he wants to or go to you when he feels in need."
Kikyou stepped beside her, close enough to her ear as she spoke. "Tell me now, wench, are you willing to risk everything to stay for him?"
"You're hateful," Kagome spat, twisting around to face her, eyes blazing. "You want me to hate him for being indecisive."
"Not everything is about you," said Kikyou sharply. "This is about him and his happiness. Think well before you decide on your own selfish desires and foolishness. Either way, no one can be happy with what you choose but only you in the end." The miko marched back to the tree, bending over to pick up the bow and quiver of arrows, slinging them on her back. Her scarlet hakama fluttered with the movements as she turned to summon her soul snatchers to her.
For a moment, Kagome thought the miko might have the serpent-like demons attack her like the first time they had met. Instead, the demons swooped down to Kikyou, almost like a dog coming to its master, one hover close enough to her, nearly caressing her cheek. The light cast the miko's face in pale light and shadows, making her seem almost sinister. Then, the soul snatcher was up, flying above with the rest. Kikyou motioned for them to follow her into the forest.
"Kikyou!" Kagome called out, stepping forward, fists clenched at her side. Determination was on her face, the conflict had gone.
The miko paused in her step but did not turn around.
"I–I have decided," said Kagome loudly, not sure of why she was saying this to the miko now. Perhaps it was the guilt. Whichever it is, she knew she had to say it aloud to the miko or else she will feel guilty for the rest of her life.
"It is not for me to listen to your decision now, is it?" Kikyou answered before moving forward again, disappearing into the undergrowth, followed by her soul snatchers.
"No, it's not," she whispered. She watched the spot a beat longer before turning back to the village. "And you are right. I don't hate you."
The moon cast shadows that danced across the forest floor as Kagome approached the well, her backpack slung on one shoulder. She set the bag down by the hole, peering into it for a moment before drawing back. She had left them silently, Shippou sleeping soundly on her sleeping bag, Miroku and Sango across the kitsune cub, in deep sleep as well. She had left a letter of explanation to Kaede-baasan on the old woman's pillow, apologizing for her sudden departure and decision. There was only one person left for her to see but he didn't seem to be around. She wondered if he had gone after the miko.
"Kagome."
So he hadn't. He must have seen her slipping out of the village then and followed her here. She turned slowly, facing him. Looking at him set her resolve. He looked like he was do, boyishly handsome. In some ways he could almost be a normal boy. Almost. The moonlight cast a halo on his salt-white hair, making them almost silver in the pale light. The scarlet kimono and hakama he wore stood out starkly, like bright red blood. He was barefoot as usual. The golden orbs spoke volumes of who he was and what he was. His dog ears twitched forward in inquiry, much like a cat's she had seen before.
"Inuyasha." She stayed where she was, knowing he would come forward to her.
He jumped down from the tree branch where he had been sitting before, starting towards her until he was less than an arm length's away. This close, she could smell the musky scent that always accompany him, along with a mixture of earth and something spicy. It seemed to fill her mouth, going down her throat, filling her senses. He peered at her worriedly. Days ago, she would have found it incredibly sweet that he worry for her. Now, it simply made her feel horrible.
"Daijoubu desu ka, Kagome?" he asked, noticing her yellow pack. His eyes narrowed. "You weren't thinking of leaving, were you?"
"Perhaps I am," she answered softly.
""Is it Kikyou? Did something happen between the two of you?" he demanded, sniffing at her. It was different from the way Kikyou had taken strands of her hair and inhaled the scent before. She knew he could smell the miko on her, perhaps that was why Kikyou had did that.
"Nothing happened," said Kagome shortly. She drew back slightly from him, saw the puzzled expression on his face at her retreat. "Kikyou just knock some sense into me, that's all."
"Kagome..."
"Tell me that you love me, Inuyasha," she said suddenly, tone tinged with just the barest hint of hope and desperation. She wanted to prove the smug miko wrong, that the hanyou does truly love her.
"Wh–what?" He was taken aback by her words, looking shocked and confused. "Kagome, nande–? Why are you asking such a thing now?"
"Because I need to hear it," she said, feeling a sudden stinging sensation at the back of her eyes. She blinked them back furiously. "I need to hear it from you, to prove that what Kikyou said was wrong."
Inuyasha stepped back, shaking his head mutely, still in shock. His mouth opened and closed like fish gulping for air but no words come out. He couldn't seem to fathom any words at all to answer her. Kagome could a sharp pain in her chest, causing her to feel out of breath as if she had been running for miles. Her vision became blurry around the edges, making it hard to see, and she realized belatedly she was crying in front of him. She reached up to wipe away the tears, angry at herself. She had told herself not to cry.
"K–Kagome, please don't cry..." Inuyasha looked stricken, coming towards her again, hands reaching out to wipe the tears away but she drew back from his touch. He let his hands fall to his sides limply, looking lost and confused.
"Kikyou was right then," she said, more to herself than to him. "You can never decide who you want. Even if you're with me, you'll think of her."
"Kagome..." His tone was broken, sad even, as if he knew what she meant. "I–Gomen... for making you feel this way."
She resolutely wiped the wetness off her cheeks, smiling at him, eyes still bright. "It's... all right, Inuyasha. Everything will be all right." She stepped close to him, resting her head on his shoulder, leaning against his body, inhaling his familiar scent. "Just hold me."
He held her awkwardly, patting her on the back, like a parent comforting a child when he suddenly jerked back, eyes growing wide and ears flattened back on his head. "Ka–gome?"
She moved away from him, looking at him as he stared down in stunned disbelief at the arrow protruding from his side where she had jabbed it during the hug. There was no remorse on her face, it was simply blank, reminding him eerily of the time Kikyou had impaled him with the arrow. Confusion and resignation weighed on his mind along with the sleepiness that sought to overcome his senses. Ah, trust that she would use the same binding arrow on him, he thought absently. She was truly like Kikyou more than she know.
"I'm so sorry, Inuyasha but it's for the best, you'll see one day." Kagome watched as he crumpled to the forest floor silently, eyes closing in sleep. She knelt down, smoothing the fine, silken hair away from his face. In sleep, he looked less guarded, more like the boy he is, the slumbering face reflecting his vulnerability and peacefulness.
Kagome straightened up, pushing her hair back with an impatient hand. She heard a faint rustling coming from her left, and saw Kaede walking out. The old woman looked down at the sleeping hanyou then back up at her, understanding in her wrinkled face. There was something akin to sympathy as well.
"You've made your choice," she stated simply.
"I have." Kagome gathered up her backpack. "I know when he wakes up, he will be angry at me, perhaps even hating me."
"No," said Kaede, shaking her head. "No, he isn't likely to let hate consume him. He won't hate you. He will be angry at first but he will understand. He always does."
"Look after them, Kaede-baasan?" Kagome faced the old woman, one hand going up to her throat, where the necklace holding the Shikon no Tama glittered faintly in the light.
"Always." Kaede smiled, nodding.
"Then, everything will be all right." Kagome tugged at the chain, lifting it up over her head. She cupped the jewel in her hand, it glowed in her palms. Closing her eyes, she made her wish silently. She opened her eyes to see the jewel fading away into thin air after her wish was granted.
"Take care of yourself, child," Kaede said, smiling softly.
Kagome nodded, her throat constricting suddenly. She didn't trust herself to speak. She took one final look at the place where it had become almost a second home to her during the years. She had come here as a naive, wide eye fifteen year old and was now leaving as a wiser eighteen year old. Her face softened at the sight of the sleeping Inuyasha by the well. She said her silent goodbye to everyone and took the jump into the well.
When she climbed out, she could see the lights in her house were still on. Her mother or grandfather, perhaps, still up and about. She turned to look back at the well, watching in mild amazement as the hole was covered up with dirt and soon, she could not see where the well had been before. The gateway to the other time was sealed for good.
"Kagome-chan?"
"Mama, tadaima." Kagome ran to her mother, flinging her arms around her mother's neck, hugging her. "I'm home, Mama, I'm really here to stay."
Her mother smiled down at her, stroking her hair gently. "Welcome home."
The leaves crackling under someone's feet registered itself into Inuyasha's consciousness. He felt sluggish, his limbs heavy, refusing to move on his command. He managed to pride open his eyes, closing them again against the bright sunlight that streamed down through the branches of the trees. The sounds of the forest seemed to be too loud on his sensitive ears, as they twitched and flattened against his head. He wanted to roll over and throw his arm over his face to keep the noise and light out but someone was insistent in bringing him back from the dead.
"Inuyasha!" someone called, tugging at the sleeve of his kimono insistently.
"G'away!" he mumbled. Memories of last night seem to float through his mind in a haze. In a flash, it all came tumbling back to him, assaulting him in vivid colors and words, making his already aching head hurt more. "Kagome!"
Inuyasha bolted upright, eyes snapping around crazily, looking for the girl. He was covered in dirt and dry leaves which clung to his long salt-white mane and clothes. There was something smeared on his left cheek which he didn't seem to notice for his attention was elsewhere.
Kikyou was kneeling before him, hands in her lap. Her scarlet hakama spread around her on the floor like blood as she peered at him curiously, one eyebrow quirked up. He immediately grabbed at her shoulders, shaking her rather violently, thinking she was the cause of Kagome's disappearance and erratic behavior last night. The image of her stabbing the arrow into him stay etched in his mind.
"Kagome! Where's Kagome? What have you done to her, wench?" He was shaking her so hard, he was sure her teeth were rattling about in her skull.
"Hanyou," her tone came out warningly through gritted teeth as he continued to shake her. She lifted one slender hand and brought down on his nose, pinching hard, cutting off air effectively. A slap, she had reasoned, would only make him retaliate with force.
Inuyasha snorted, breaking away from her grip, gasping for air as he rubbed his nose, glaring ruefully at her. "What did you do that for, you wench?!" he exclaimed.
"You were acting irrationally and near hysterical," she said calmly.
"Kagome," he began. She held up a hand, stopping his tirade.
"The girl is gone, back to her time," she told him quietly. "She no longer has the jewel to act as the gateway between both times. She made her wish and she made her choice. Now, what is yours?"
He stared at her, really noticing her for the first time in years. She was still pale but there was a healthy rose color in her cheeks. Her eyes were bright, filled with life and affection. The sorrow that always accompany her was gone. He leaned forwards, sniffing at her delicately, then grasped her hair and brought it to his nose for a closer smell. The cloying smell of decay and earth were gone from her. She smelled... alive? Like the jasmines that grew around his old home, sweet and delicate.
Kikyou had stood up, smoothing down her hakama, no longer meeting his eyes. "The arrow was for another miko to break the spell which I did. I will not decide for you what you want. Your friends will be worried about you." She turned to leave.
"Kikyou!" he shouted.
She stopped, half turned to see him come barreling straight into her. They tumbled to the forest floor, throwing up dirt and leaves, rolling a few times before coming to a stop. He was on top of her. His weight was a pleasant pressured against her body as he stared into her face for a beat then he lowered his face to hers, and she felt a sensation against her lips. His clawed hands caressed her face in a tender gesture that was unlike him, the sharp claws turned in so as not to scratched her skin.
"Inuyasha," she breathed, reaching up to cup her hands around his cheeks, tilting her head back, inviting him to deepen the kiss which he did.
They came up breathless for air, red tinging their faces as they realized what had happened.
""My Kikyou," he growled, pushing against her again, nuzzling her neck. "My miko."
"You've made your choice then?" she asked, her breath hitching slightly from what he was doing to her.
"Isn't it obvious?" He leaned back, resting his forehead against hers. "Kikyou... I–gomen, Kikyou."
She reached up, fingers touching the soft ear above his head. "It's all right now, Inuyasha. It's over."
He smiled, enveloping her into a tight hold, refusing to let her go again. He thanked Kagome for her unselfish wish to restore the broken bond between him and his miko. He was never going to forget her selflessness.
For now, he has Kikyou back.
"Let's go home," he said, helping her up.
"Aa." She took his hand and they walked towards the village like lovers do.
Fin.