Lies We Promised Broke Our Hearts
A/N: Just some Doctor/River to get the hang of writing them. This is an earlier River, later Doctor, but it doesn't really matter very much in this one. Enjoy and please review!
Disclaimer: If I owned Doctor Who, River and Jack would be in ALL THE EPISODES. So… until then, I don't own it.
***hello sweetie***
"You lied."
The Doctor shook his head, starting to speak, but River would have nothing of it.
"You told her that it would all be okay. You told her she would see her family again. You promised, and you broke your promise, Doctor. You lied."
River pushed past him, ignored his voice. She kept walking, breaking into a run as she got farther from the console room. She couldn't look at him.
It had been an awful day. It hadn't started out that way, but it was. They- her and the Doctor- had went to the planet of snow. It had been, as expected, cold, and they had compromised- she got to go to the shops, he got to visit a museum.
And then, they had looked under the ice, and seen the people. Frozen people- it was a virus, as it turned out, that turned one to ice. Though they had been able to save most of the planet's population, those already infected couldn't be cured. And though River knew that everybody dies sometime or another, this one had hit her hard.
There had been a little girl, only six or seven, whose whole family had died of the virus. She had watched her family freeze, helpless. The Doctor had told her to run, but her legs had been already frozen. He picked her up, and ran with her. River had almost shed a tear while she ran alongside them; she knew there was nothing the Doctor could do to save the child, so she didn't offer false comfort.
But the Doctor did. He always did, even when he knew it was a lie. And though it didn't normally bother River, it did this time. In this child, River saw herself- her younger self- lonely and scared, wandering the streets and running from the spacesuit, with nobody to turn to.
He hadn't comforted her.
River was stunned out of her reverie by the Doctor's hand grabbing her wrist, pulling her towards him. He put his hands on her shoulders, and she tried to push him away.
"I can't talk to you right now, Doctor. I just can't."
"Just listen to me-"
"Why would I believe you? You looked into that girl's eyes, Doctor, and you lied to her."
"River-"
River looked up, almost angry. "What I want to know, Doctor, is how you looked her in the eye, when you knew you weren't telling the truth."
"I- River, yes I was lying, but with that lie came hope, did it not?"
She matched his gaze. "False hope."
"But isn't that better than nothing? Yes, she was dying. But her last moments were happy. She wasn't afraid. Hope in the worst of times can save lives, River."
River pushed him away.
"Yes, well, I wouldn't know."
"What are you talking about, River?"
She looked down, cursing herself. She had decided ages ago- never let him see the damage, it was the best way. And there she went, spoiling everything again. "Nothing."
"Look at me."
She did.
"River, if I could go back- if I could make it all better- I swear I would, but I can't, because then I'd lose you, my you, and I know it's selfish but-"
River shook her head. "Doctor, you listen to me. I wouldn't change anything."
"But you were so alone, for so long-"
"That made me me, Doctor. You were alone too, but you turned out alright."
He smiled. "As did you."
River shrugged. "Psychopath for the psychopath, I suppose."
"Hey! And you're not crazy, River-"
She smiled. "Yeah, I am, but so are you. Everybody has scars, sweetie, and I'm rather proud of mine, alright? So don't go messing with my past."
He smiled. "Wouldn't dream of it."
He was always erasing scars, though, and she knew it. The little things each healed her more and more, and though she- and he- would always be irreparably broken, River knew that she wouldn't change it for the world. Because that's how they worked, and it was worth the heartache.
She never could stay mad at him for long, she thought, as she leaned into his open arms and buried herself in his embrace.
For even the lies he promised were true, the truths she promised were lies, the facts that broke their hearts- only made them stronger. Better. And she would never stop falling for him.
The Doctor hugged his wife tighter, wishing away her pain. This woman- this impossible woman- caused so much heartache, but so much joy and so much love. And he knew for a fact-
He would never stop falling, head over heels, for her.
***hello sweetie***
A/N: So I'm a bit nervous to post this, as I don't normally write stuff this angsty (more of a fluff girl, my teeth hate me for it), but I hope you liked it all the same.
Constructive criticism is always welcome, and I thank you all for reading.
Please review!