Summary: When Hank drops off Erin for a typical two week visitation with Bunny, he didn't think that much of it. He hated the idea but it was court ordered. He had to do what he had to do. What he didn't realize was that this visitation rocked his whole world.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the character's from Chicago PD. I just have fun playing with them in a different world. The title and idea kind of came from X Ambassador's son "Unsteady".
I'm back with a full on story! I am unsure how long this will be but I'm excited for it! i hope you all enjoy it. CPD starts tonight and with the release of the picture on Monday of Jesse and Sophia holding hands we all know something is up! Can they just admit it already? I also was lucky to have Derek Haas answer one of my questions in his Q&A session, but that left no information on if they're dating or not. I think they are and always have been. I do not believe they are not. Enjoy this and enjoy tonights show!
Unsteady
-Chapter One: Hold On-
"Erin, come on." Camille's voice was soft and motherly. "We need to work on your homework before you head out to your mother's."
"No." Erin sat firmly with her body laying flat on her back with her eyes glued to the television. "No, work and no Mommy's."
Camille sighed shifting a six month old Justin from on arm to the other before walking into the family room. Hank would be home soon and all Erin did was put up a fight on everything today. Camille understood but still supported and tried to help encourage Erin into doing the right thing. "Erin come on, baby. You need to do some home work for Dr. Zane."
"No." Erin didn't even make eye contact with her step mother. "TV."
"I know you want to watch television, Erin, but you've watched enough. We need to work on this so when Daddy gets home to take you to see Dr. Zane before you head to Mommy's it will be done." Camille sat on the arm of the couch. "Come on, I think Justin's willing to help you."
"Justin's a baby."
"Yes he is a baby, but he can help us." Camille promised. "I might have put out some cookies for you to have while we work."
When Camille married Hank she knew he came with a child who he had full custody off until recently. What she didn't understand was that Erin was unique and it was making things very difficult from the time she moved in till now. Erin was behind, way behind but it wasn't Erin's fault. Finally, after years of struggling trying to get Erin focused in school she was diagnosed with Alcohol Related Neurodevelopmental Disorder.
Hank blamed Bunny one hundred percent on this one. If she didn't drink during pregnancy, against his knowledge then Erin would be "normal". But then again he was somewhat happy it wasn't worse. Erin could've been born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and have facial abnormalities, structural and/or functional central nervous systems but Erin got the behavioral and learning problems. She was delayed, in speech and in her behaviors compared to other ten year olds but they're working on it.
"Cookies?" Erin's attention was drawn away from the television to the mother figure in her life on a day to day event. "Really?"
"Only if you work on the worksheets for Dr. Zane first." Camille promised with a smile. "Now come on girly. We need to get it done before Daddy get's home."
And Hank would be upset if it wasn't done in time because the Doctor then shows her annoyance. Hank was already stressed so Camille promised to have the worksheets done in time.
This would be the first time Erin goes with Bunny for more than on night. Bunny one in court, somehow. She was awarded every other weekend and two weeks ever month in the summer prior to Erin beginning school again. Hank didn't believe it when the Judge informed them of the results. He was pissed. All he was doing was protecting his little girl and they were just allowing the person who did this to her to get away with it basically.
Erin barely knew her mother. Bunny kept her distance since Erin was taken away originally when she was a toddler because of unstable living environments, only getting once a week supervised visitation before just leaving till she returned last year.
"I don't like him." Erin hissed clenching her hands into fists at her side. "I no go."
"I know you don't like him Erin, but this is something you don't have a choice in." And she didn't, the school made it mandatory to try and control Erin's anger a little more than the parents could handle themselves. It was her behavior that had them all worried, especially when Justin came along.
"No!" And Erin was going to burst. Camille saw it coming.
Quickly moving into action, Camille placed Justin in his swing before moving towards Erin slowly this time. "Erin,"
"No! No! No!" Erin screamed kicking her little legs in frustration.
"Erin, baby, we don't kick the couch." She was trying her hardest to not push Erin into a full blow out, but she needed to control the girl before something gets destroyed. Erin's room right now just had her mattress on the floor after her getting so out of hand that she tore everything out of every drawer, pictures and posters on her wall were ripped into shreds. Dr. Zane informed them that they should use the consequence of removing everything and Erin slowly gaining one item back for every week she goes with out an outburst.
"I kick it!" Erin grunted kicking the couch hard and over and over again. Erin wasn't having it.
Camille silently prayed for Hank to somehow get out of work early and help her. She didn't really know any of the hold techniques that Hank learned in the academy. She knew one, but did not want to risk anything.
"Why don't we go do something? Huh? We can go play on the swings?" Distraction always works, well most of the time.
"No!" Erin screamed getting close to Camille's face.
Camille took this opportunity to just hold the girl tightly. She knew Erin was kind and gentle. Just the outburst were slowly taking over every day and Camille was getting to the breaking point.
"No go to Mommy's. No go to Doctor's." Erin insisted struggling to loosen Camille's grip. "Stay here."
Camille's heart broke. This girl who does not deal with change very well will now be in for a big change. Two weeks away will ruin a lot of the structure and schedule that they worked hard to make. Let alone Camille really doesn't think Bunny knows what to do with Erin.
"I wish you could." Camille comforted her, rubbing soft circles on her back. "You'll be back soon and then we have a fun vacation planned." That fun vacation was a four day stay at some cabin on a lake as a break from the hecticness of city life. It was small but with Erin's doctor bills it was all they could afford this year. "And we can talk every day."
"No leave." Erin hung onto Camille. Camille was happy that Erin was small for her age that made the weight of her resting on Erin's lap not bad at all.
"I know Erin. I know you don't want to go. Aren't you excited to see Teddy? Teddy's probably excited to see his sister." Camille found a positive. Somehow Bunny thought it would be a brilliant idea to have another child, probably from a dumb decision but Camille and Hank don't get involved.
"Teddy?"
"Yeah Teddy."
"Cami? Erin?" Hank yelled walking through the front door. "Erin we need to get going."
"We no go." Erin held tight to Camille still.
"This is not going to end well, Hank. She doesn't want to go." Camille didn't want her to go.
Hank sighed because he had to do what was ordered. He couldn't go against the court order and especially couldn't go against the school order to put Erin in anger management therapy because then Erin will be placed in a "special school" and Hank refused that.
"Daddy I stay." Erin declared climbing off the couch and was running towards the stairs but Hank was fast enough to grab her.
"Not today Erin." Hank sighed. It was the worst making her do something she didn't want to do. Erin was stubborn as a mule and Hank just tried to push through it to get done what needs to be done.
Even though Erin fought with Hank every step he took, Hank finally got Erin into the seat and buckled in.
"Make sure she's okay and safe before you let Bunny take her." Camille stood on the porch. "Rather, make sure Bunny is sober before you let her go."
"Trust me, she's not going anywhere with out me knowing if that disgrace of a mother is sober. We're meeting her with Dr. Zane because she doesn't believe Erin needs it. I think if she witnesses Erin kicking and screaming to get in the damn car then she'll realize it."
"Just keep her safe."
Nodding his head in agreement, Hank gave her a quick kiss goodbye as he grabbed Erin's over night bag from the ground and threw it in the passenger seat as he pulled out.
"Kid I know you don't want to go." Hank continued, "But Dr. Zane will be good."
He hated that Erin needed therapy. He hated that her whole life she's been targeted with label after label all because he had no clue what Bunny was doing during her pregnancy. He felt guilty especially when other parents stare at him when he is trying his best to calm her down. People don't understand and Hank didn't want them to know either. It was something they're dealing with.
Erin just ignored him the whole drive with her hands crossed over her chest and a pout on her face. Hank would love to know what is going on in his mind but, Erin didn't really express her emotions besides anger. It was something they're working on together along side the therapist.
Getting Erin into the office was another struggle. Hank did what he had to do. He lifted her out of the car and carried her into the office with her knees going into his stomach countless time.
What surprised him was that Bunny was there waiting for them. Bunny is never early or on time to anything. She was always late.
"See I told you she didn't need this silliness." Bunny tilted her nose up at the thought of a therapist.
"This isn't the worst of it at all." Hank sat down holding Erin in his lap so she didn't sprint towards the exit. If she did that, who knows where she'd run to especially since this office was on a very busy street. Safety came first over comfort.
"Bad afternoon?" Dr. Zane opened his door ready for Erin. "Erin?"
Dr Zane was a youngish looking doctor who grayed early in life. He spoke softly towards Erin and helped her make great improvements in her behaviors and also her speech. Erin expressed her needs and wants but she still struggled. Dr. Zane was a godsend to Hank and Camille.
Hank frowned when Erin decided to stay mute. "She had a little freak out according to Camille after finding out she's going to see you today before leaving with Bunny."
"Erin?" The doctor ignored Hank's complaints. "I need you to express why you're angry."
"She's just angry, what needs to be expressed? Just let her go and do whatever to express it. She's fine." Bunny side eyed the hell out of the doctor's opinion.
"Why don't I take Erin in the back and talk with her a little before having you two join so we can come up with a plan for when she is with you for two weeks Bunny? Consistency is key right now and it will become very important to continue these steps when she is with you."
Erin resisted before giving up once Dr. Zane bribed her with a lollipop any flavor of her choosing and followed Dr. Zane back.
"What you're doing to that girl is a disgrace, Hank. She doesn't need this." Bunny voiced her opinion every time she sits in this office and during a court hearing when she had some doctor who never saw Erin deny Erin's diagnosis. The judge didn't believe the quack but made it known that both parents are to be present during these sessions.
"She doesn't need this?" Hank just stared at her. "Are you shitting me, Bunny? This doctor got her talking finally. He got her able to express her emotions and know that there would be consequences. If you didn't think she needs help maybe you should've thought about that before drinking when you were pregnant."
"Should've, could've, would've Hank. There's no proof that what I did or didn't do were the reasoning behind her little behavior disorder."
Hank couldn't believe the shit she was stating. "Little behavior disorder? She has more than a little behavior disorder. This is her life, Bunny. Her life is going to be like this forever. She'll be dealing with this. She will not us. Do you know what it's like for her everyday? She finally started talking and it somewhat makes sense now. Be a little more compassionate since you caused this shit."
"Watch when she comes back, she'll be normal. This behavior will be shown to be caused from you and I'll prove it to the judge."
Prove what to the judge exactly Hank had no idea. He had multiple doctor's notes and testimony that prove what Erin has is caused from alcohol during pregnancy. He had enough evidence that Bunny should never be around her daughter again but Illinois is such a pro-mother state that Hank was surprised he got as much custody of Erin as he did.
"You try that, Bunny. See how that lasts." Hank let out a laugh. Bunny already has to provide randomized drug tests to this day, but some how she passes those. How, Hank will never know.
"Hank, Bunny? I think today went well for Erin. We worked on a plan to deal with her anger and I need you two to follow through with it completely. This is going to be very important for her during these transitions back and forth between the two of yours houses this summer."
Hank who was very involved with this Erin's treatment spoke right away. "What would that consist of?"
"I want you all to follow through with punishment. If Erin get's mad, allow her to know she has to speak up about what is causing her feelings. She did tell me today that Camille got her to speak of why she was upset earlier and that is great. If she doesn't have her go into an empty room like we determined. But also, Bunny inform Hank if she is using these steps because she can slowly earn her furniture back. Start with the bed before anything else. This shows that you both are communicating and allowing her to grow and be praised for the good choices."
"So just encourage words?" Bunny asked. "If that's all I need to do, easy peasy. She's ten. She knows how to speak."
"She's learning to express in words. Let her express. It may come out unclear but let her try." Dr. Zane looked at his watch. "Now I have another patient coming in soon but I informed Erin that I will be here to show her that saying goodbye will not mean she's leaving forever. Now let her try what I practiced with her?"
Bunny looked annoyed, like she had somewhere else to be and Hank looked anxious to see if this would work.
"Erin?" Dr. Zane called over to the table where Erin was coloring. "It's time for you to head out with your Mom now. Can you say goodbye like we practiced?" Erin froze slightly before walking slowly over to them shaking nervously. "Remember your dad will pick you up in two weeks. Use the calendar we made to cross of the days, okay?"
Erin walked right over to Hank and rapped her arms tightly around his neck. "Bye daddy." She whispered.
"Bye Kid." Hank smiled softly. "I'll meet you here in two weeks, okay? You can tell me all about what you did with your mom."
"I see soon?"
"Yes, I'll see you soon."
Dr. Zane looked proud that this actually worked. Erin remand calm and expressed no anger. "That was very good, Erin. I am proud. I told her that her dad can walk her to her mom's car and that is the final goodbye."
Erin clung to Hank's arm to the car and Hank accepted it. Erin was needing this time and that was fine with him.
"Love you, Daddy." Erin gave him one more squeeze.
"Love you too, Kid."
XO-UNSTEADY-XO
It felt weird being at home without Erin. It felt more relaxed but at the same time felt like something was missing from their family. That missing piece was Erin.
But they went through the daily events like always. Justin got his bath and story time and Hank and Camille got their alone time.
Something wasn't sitting well with Hank though. He had this feeling that he couldn't figure out what it was. He ignored it and went to bed like nothing was different, until he was jolted out of sleep the moment his home phone rang a loud piercing sound throughout the room.
Clearing his throat, Hank reached to his nightstand and answered the phone softly trying not to wake Camille. "Hello?"
"Daddy?" The voice on the other line broke him out of his sleep.
"Erin, what's wrong?" Hank's thoughts went directly to something bad. Bunny was always trouble. She never wanted the poor girl but kept her around just to annoy him. She was the pull that Bunny had to keep him unhappy.
In another whispered tone Erin answered unsteadily with her words, "I go home, Daddy." Erin insisted. "Now."
Hank didn't know what to do. The judge made it well known to both parents that neither one could keep their daughter from each other. Erin had to see her mother but Hank could make sure Erin could stay in contact with him incase something happened- like this. "Kid, you know you can't. You'll enjoy your Mommy's. Give it time."
"Not there."
"Not there? Er, you're not at Mommy's are you? Where are you?"
"'Cation."
"'Cation? Mommy took you on vacation? Is Teddy with you?"
"Uh-huh. Not allowed at Mommy's."
Hank really wasn't grasping what Erin was saying. "Why aren't you allowed at Mommy's?"
"Kicked out."
"Mommy got kicked out, huh." Great, Hank thought to himself. "Where are you calling from, Erin?"
"Go home, Daddy. i go home." This time it came out as a whimper. "Daddy,"
"Do you know where you are? Look out the window please, tell me where you are." Hank was worried. Bunny could have taken her to any place. She has those scum friends all over the city. "I need to know, Kid."
"No. Mommy's out there, I hide."
"I can't help you unless you figure that out, Kid." Hank let out a big sigh. Once he figured that out he'd have someone on nigh shift drive by but Erin wasn't going to be good at telling him where she was.
"Bad out there."
"Bad out where? Where are you hiding? In a closet or the bathroom."
"Closet." Erin mumbled. "Scary out there. Bad."
"Bad? It's bad out there?"
"Ouchies, Daddy."
"Needles," Hank mumbled under his breath. "Baby, I really need you to listen to me, okay? Can you do that?" He waited for the soft 'uh-huh' before continuing, "I want you to hang up with me and call nine-one-one. Can you do that?" He knew it was a long shot but Hank had to try.
Erin was nervous. "No get in trouble. You, Daddy!"
"Erin I don't know where you are. I can't help if I don't know where you are." Hank rested his head in his free hand. "You won't get in trouble. I promise you that. I just need to know where you are to help, Er. That's all."
Hank just sat at the edge of the bed unsure of what else to do. He didn't know if he had the ability to call himself because he had no clue where in the world she was. Camille insisted on her having one of those phones that have the ability to only call three numbers, his cell, Camille's cell phone and also the home phone. He didn't know if it was physically able to track that phone. It was just an incase of emergency phone. Perfect for this moment.
"No," Erin denied it even though Hank knew exactly what she learned. "Daddy, please."
"I need you to be a big girl, Erin. Can you do that for me?" Hank waited for another subtle 'uh-huh' from Erin. "I need you to try and see where you are. Can you do that for me? Try and see where you are. It'll make you very brave. Leave the phone with Teddy and go see where you are. Be brave."
"Okay, Daddy."
"I'll be waiting for you okay, kid? I'll be right here on the line when you get back." Hank did wait. He waited for what seemed like forever until his heard Erin's piercing screams and not her returning to the phone.
"Leave us the hell alone, Hank." It wasn't Erin this time, it was Bunny. "You'll get her at your time. She's fine."
"Bunny, put Erin back on the phone." Hank demanded. "I want to speak with her."
"She's a little occupied right now, but when she's done being punished I'll be sure to have her contact you." The way Bunny said it made Hank's skin crawl.
"I have a right to talk to her, Bunny. Put her on the damn phone please. I'm not messing around right now."
"Later. It's late." Bunny hung up but before Hank heard a scream and he knew that scream, it was Erin.
"Fuck!" Hank threw the home phone onto the bed next to him before he started pacing up and down in front of the bed.
"Hank?" Camille spoke softly, rubbing his back trying to calm him down. "Is she's okay?"
"I don't even fucking know." He ran his hands through his hand. "Bunny got the phone. Won't let me talk to her."
"Call the cops, Hank. They'll know what to do." Camille spoke softly again. She didn't understand why he didn't do that in the first place. He was a detective. He knows people that could help in this situation and didn't use them. "Call Alvin or even that tech guy. See if they can track her phone."
"I knew letting her go would be a bad idea." Hank quickly picked up the phone, dialing the number for Alvin. He quickly informed Alvin of what is going on. "I'm gonna go meet him at the station."
"Be safe, Hank. We'll get her home for good." Camille promised or tried too. "Bring her back."
"I'll try." Hank hurriedly threw on some clothes to rush out the door.
"If you love me, don't let go.
Hold on, hold on to me.
'Cause I'm a little unsteady, little unsteady."