The order wasn't screwed up?!
By Mat Growcott
Frasier woke up and attempted to recall the night before. The day before would suffice. He looked around, this wasn't his room. He was in a double bed…
"Good morning" Said the voice of Lilleth, his ex-wife
"Good morning" It had all rushed back to Frasier…what had he done?
"I could lie like this all morning," She said putting her arm around him
"Yes, me too" Frasier whispered. The doorbell rang and frasier jumped out of bed as quick as he could, running over to the door saying
"It must be the breakfast we ordered last night" he opened the door and a short man walked in.
"Thank you" Frasier said handing over the money "keep the change"
"Thank you sir" the waiter smiled leaving the room.
Lilleth stood up and walked over to the food. She examined it carefully.
"This looks good," She said
"Yeah, it does doesn't it?" They kissed and frasier walked over to the window.
"Hey, its nearly 10 o' clock. I've got to get down to the radio station to do my show. Hey, how'd you like to come down and be a guest on my show? I'm sure the people who listen to it would love to here two good psychiatrists battle out there different theory's, and you can meet the people I work with"
"Two good psychiatrists? Who else is on?" Lilleth asked
"No-one, me and you"
"Ok frasier, I'll do it"
Give me a call sometime
"Hello this is Dr Frasier Crane, and today we have a special guest, my ex-wife Lilleth"
"Hello Seattle, I will try and help you out any way I can, however if you do ring up there will be no way to help your problem permanently, only ease the pain somewhat. Being totally healed would take months of work"
"Oh come now Lilleth, lets not start the show on such a happy note. Roz who's our first caller?"
"His names David and he is sick with his psychiatrist, who never helps him, just agrees with everything he say's"
"Hello David I…We're listening"
"Hey, I go to this shrink, just to help me suppress my rage or some crap. Yeah well the Moron does nothing but agree with everything I say. I've had enough"
"Have you thought about leaving this psychiatrist?"
"Hey, that could work, your good doc!!"
"Is that the only type of people you get on this show Frasier? Idiots who can't sort out there own idiotic problems?"
"Lilleth, please. We are on the air and we don't want to lose our audience, who's on line 2 Roz?"
"Its Sarah. She is depressed after a break up in a relationship that lasted 5 years."
"Hello Sarah, we're listening"
"Hello Dr Crane. I just don't know what to do, this was the only thing in my life…and now its over"
"Sarah, let me help you, Last year my wife and I got divorced. It was such a heartbreaking experience that I nearly through myself of a balcony. I moved to Seattle, where I've started a new life with my family, I have a whole new set of friends and two days ago my ex-wife returned and we spent the last two evening together. We are still friends and maybe one day we'll be more"
"I suggest you go out and meet some new people. You'll get over him eventually" Lilleth said in her same stern tone
"But Lilleth, there may be a chance for a reconciliation, or maybe a new life in a different state, well I hope you choose the correct option Sarah, Well that's just about all we have time for, Here's frasier crane wishing you good mental health"
Let me count the ways
Frasier walked into his apartment and sighed. Why hadn't he just told the truth? He didn't want to get back together with Lilleth but now he had no choice. He stared in the mirror; he hadn't looked this stressed out since the divorce. She'd acted horribly on and after the show. How could he have ever loved a woman who was basically an iceberg in shoes? Martin walked in.
"I heard you and Lilleth on the radio. Still bickering huh? You too never stop, it was the same when you were married"
"Dad, me and Lilleth are adults, we can bicker if we want too, I don't need permission of you."
"Well sorry! Jeez, now your turning weird" Daphne walked in.
"Are you too arguing again? Well I'm not surprised with that woman back…although I'm not going to overstep my boundrys, I'll be in my room if you want me!"
"What were you going to say Daphne?" Frasier asked angrily. "I didn't want her back, I was just trying to be civil. I've made a mistake and I'm going to get out of this somehow. Although…she has asked me to move to Boston with her…"
"Boston? But you just moved from there!" Martin said, matter of factly
"Well done dad. That's it I'm going back to Boston, You may stay in the apartment but try to keep it as tidy as it is now" he looked at the mole hill of hair that eddy had left on the couch "well…as tidy as it usually is"
"But you must stay Dr Crane"
"Why Daphne? When I'm not appreciated?"
"You've got your little radio show!!"
"I've already quit"
"You've got new friends, and you've recovered old links with your family"
"
Ill Gotten Gains
Frasier stepped into his new apartment. Several pictures hung on one of the walls while, sitting in a big floor to ceiling cabinet was a big TV. Lilleth had done it up nice. Freddy was away at a chess camp so he had the rest of the week alone with Lilleth, it was going to be hell. She walked in
"You like your new home?" she said
"I especially like what you've done with the pictures. Infact, this whole room is quite beautiful"
"You should see the bedroom" Lilleth said, in the same cold tone she used for everything else
"Maybe later, right now I'm hungary, and I want to see some of my old friends, how about a trip to the most expensive restaurant we can find, and then a trip to cheers!"
"Why would you want to go back there? I thought you'd moved on in your life, I would have thought your drinking habits would have died as well"
"Drinking habits? All right, maybe I did used to have quite a bit, but at least the people there LIKED me. They used to try and hide in the poolroom when you came in!"
"Maybe so frasier, but at least I'm still a respected psychiatrist, where as you are the psychiatric version of Homer Simpson"
"Oh, come now, trading insults are we? In that case I'm getting straight on the next plane" He stared at the apartment, if he looked close enough he could see how all his old possessions, taken by Lilleth in the divorce were dotted around, he coughed, opened the door, and left boston.
A headache I can't forget
Daphne kissed Niles.
"Its been lovely to meet you Dr Crane, its just I need to go home, I've never had such a headache, and then I saw myself getting on a plane and going back to blighty, so I thought that's what I had to do" Daphne smiled at him
"I guess now is the time to tell you, because I'll never see you again, that I had a bit of a school boy crush on you. If only I hadn't married Maris, I'd be coming back with you right now!"
"Oh Dr Crane, I always knew how you felt, but I guess I never admitted to myself that I felt the same. Well, your Fathers gone to get some coffee for you both and I promised me self I wouldn't cry. I guess it was just silly really, it wouldn't have worked out between us"
"You don't think?"
"No Dr Crane…I think it wouldn't have lasted a week" she said, trying to convince herself more than Niles. She took a deep breath and got onto the plane. Niles sighed, maybe she was right, and after all, he had his Maris.
Pedigree Crane
Frasier scrubbed at the Couch. The dog hairs would just not come off. He'd washed them 3 times. Well, he'd don enough, there were hardly any left anyway. He sat down and fell asleep.