The room was quiet as she looked at the empty chairs, the half-filled glasses of champagne, her last walk into the mess hall, her last hours on board Voyager… as she stared out the window the stars were gone, replaced by the blaring lights of Starfleet headquarters. She was home, and sure it felt good, but there was something missing. There would be no gentle hum of her ship to lure her to sleep at night. There would be no more jests with Tom, no more laughing about Neelix's deplorable cooking, no more Sandrine's. Voyager would be replaced by padds and the dull, pedantic everyday work at her desk. Admiral Kathryn Janeway, it didn't have the same ring as Captain, Admiral was a cold title, a title that would alienate her from her peers, from everyone. She slowly ran her fingers over a chair and her gaze lingered at a table in the corner, a lone table with two chairs. One was hers, another was his. She remembered sitting and laughing over coffee, wine, everything. God she was going to miss him.

As she stepped out of the ship and was assaulted with an onslaught of reporters with flashing cameras and hundreds of questions. She smiled and paused to answer a few of the inquiries, only to find her mind wandering to Chakotay and Voyager, to B'Elanna and Tom's wedding to all the memories made onboard. She looked one last time at her ship and her eyes caught with Chakotay's. They exchanged a lingering glance, lingering and longing. She watched as Seven gripped onto his arm. Kathryn held her breath and let out a deep sigh as she was approached by her mother and sister. As they hugged and kissed, laughed and cried Kathryn felt a hot tear burn into her cheek as it silently fell to the ground. She saw him place a kiss on Seven's cheek as he walked toward her.

"Kathryn…" his voice was barley a whisper, as she moved away from her mother and sister and to him. He took her hands in his and gingerly lifted his hands, carefully wiping away her tears. "I guess this is… goodbye… It has been a pleasure working with you…" his voice trailed off as she looked into his eyes. "Goodbye Chakotay and… thank you." She placed a kiss on his cheek, shook his hand and with a final crooked smile walked back to her family. She turned her head and saw him look back at her one last time. He flashed a handsome dimpled smile at her and above the noise of the crowd she could hear his voice whisper "You're welcome…"

When the cold of winter comes
Starless night will cover day
In the veiling of the sun
We will walk in bitter rain

But in dreams
I can hear your name
And in dreams
We will meet again

When the seas and mountains fall
And we come, to end of days
In the dark I hear a call
Calling me there,
I will go there
And back again.

She awoke with a start, the lingering feeling of his hands caressing her own, still fresh in her mind. Three months since they had said goodbye. Three months since she heard his voice and his laugh and seen his smile. It was too much, even for the Admiral. She loved him more than words could describe and yet, she in all her Starfleet glory had refused to recognize the passion she felt for him. Every night she dreamt of him, the taste of his lips,  the feel of his embrace and the scent of his cologne. She missed him desperately more than she wanted to admit. She gazed at the darkened room and called out for the time.

"0-400 hours" the monotone female voice replied. Kathryn groaned… she had to be at Headquarters at 0900. As she cracked her knuckles, she turned over and made an attempt to fall back asleep. Again she called out for the time "0-403 hours" There was no way she would fall asleep again, not after that dream.

Her long green dress flowed behind her in an exquisite train of chiffon. Her hair was elaborately twisted a top her head and the diamonds around her neck and in her ears sparkled as she laughed and clinked her champagne glass with B'Elanna's. The lovely sound of the solo violin and piano clouded her senses as she watched the hundreds of people circle around the room. Tom whisked B'Elanna away and Kathryn stood waiting in anticipation for one person… He approached her from the shadows, dressed most elegantly, and in the dim lighting she could just make out the tattoo on his forehead. He walked up to her, and without a word gently took her hand and guided her to the dance floor. His hands clutched hers as they whirled about the dance floor, gracefully, enraptured by each other. His hand moved to the lower portion of her back and she shuddered at his gentle caress. Her hand slowly moved around him and found their place at the base of his neck. The music had slowed and both Kathryn and Chakotay had stopped moving. As the music swirled above them, Kathryn felt Chakotay delicately lift her chin. She cast her eyes downward and felt the color rise in her cheeks. He looked down at her and waited until she lifted her eyes to meet his. A fire exploded inside her as their eyes met. She could see the love, the desire, the passion he held for her, all in that one glance. His lips caressed her own and she pushed her body closer to him. As the kiss intensified Kathryn's knees went weak. They broke the kiss and continued to dance to waltz as Chakotay whispered "I love you so much Kathryn, so much" over and over.

It was then that she awoke, it was too perfect, too wonderful and damn it she wanted it that way. She slowly inched her way to the replicator and in a dreadfully tired voice; she ordered a cup of coffee. She ambled slowly over to her Starfleet issue couch and flopped into it, determined to get some work done. As she placed her cup of coffee down, she heard a beep. Groaning she reached toward the table in front of her, when it beeped again. She sighed, it was the door. "Come in…"