Bless Me, Captain
Chapter 1:
Operation Viper
Emma has been sheriff of Storybrooke for as long as she can remember. She's been dating Jefferson Hat for as long as she can remember. She lives a quiet life without friends or family and she likes it that way. So when the mayor's son Henry starts insisting that his mother is actually an imposter created by Dr. Jekyl's potion and that the whole town is under a terrible curse, she thinks she's going insane. But even more upsetting is his claim that the sinfully attractive priest Father Jones is actually her one true love, and that the fate of Storybrooke rests on their shoulders.
Fair warning, this chapter will be one of the few that is relatively tame. Assume that the rest of this will be shameless priest!kink with as much plot as I can squeeze in between the lines. Slow burns are not my thing.
Regina sat in a miserable heap drawing circles in the dirt that covered the stone floor. The rarely used prison cell in her vault was proving to be extremely difficult to break out of and the boredom was starting to really piss her off.
She heard footsteps echo down the hall. The click-clack of high heals signaled that her daily visitor had arrived.
"Hello, Regina." cooed a familiar voice. Cruelty laced it's sultry notes, making her blood boil with rage.
"What do you want?"
The Evil Queen, dressed in a sensible pantsuit and tasteful pearls, smirked down at her doppleganger. "Oh, I just wanted to make sure my prisoner was comfortable. Do you need anything? Some books? A feather pillow? A snack?"
Regina knew it was a rhetorical question but she grumbled back anyway, "I could use a bath."
"You're lucky I give you a separate bucket for your water and your waste!" the queen barked. Regina only rolled her eyes. "I suggest you get used to discomfort because you will never see the light of day again."
Regina laughed. It was a genuine sound, despite her current state of misery. "Is that what you think? God, how was I so stupid?!" She looked into the queen's furious gaze and said, "You are blinded by hate and rage. You're so focused on revenge that you can't see two feet in front of your face and you are so narcissistic that you have deluded yourself into thinking you've actually beaten them!" The fire in her alter ego's eyes ignited but Regina didn't back down. She slowly stood to her feet and made on her way, on weak legs, to the bars of the cell. "There's no beating them you moron. The only reason you and I have survived this long is because we gave up trying to destroy the heroes and joined them."
"You were weak." she snarled.
"Yes, I was! Because of you!. Your-" she stopped herself, "our ego... kept me from seeing the truth. The Evil Queen will never win. You may have delayed the inevitable with this little curse of yours, but Emma will stop you."
"What makes you so sure?"
Regina scoffed, "Because that's what she does! Don't you get it? She the savior. It is literally her purpose in life to be a thorn in my side and that means yours, too. She defeated you last time and she'll do it again."
At that the queen grinned from ear to ear. "Not likely," she said, "You see, the only thing that can break this curse is true love, and I've got her precious pirate somewhere she can't touch him. As long as they're apart everything will stay just like it is."
In the face of the queen's smug expression Regina laughed, "That's your plan? Keeping Buttercup and Wesley apart? Those two could find each other in a fucking snow storm."
"Not this time."
"What did you do? Put him in a coma? We tried that, remember?"
The queen laughed cruelly, "I've learned from my mistakes, and I've gotten a bit more... inventive over the last few years."
"Whatever it is you've done, whatever false lives they now lead, it won't last, and when Emma finds out you took her life-sized Adam Lambert doll away from her again she's gonna be pissed. I am really gonna enjoy that show."
The queen balked at her audacity. She sneered through the bars with hateful glee, "I hope you enjoy your captivity, Regina, because even if you're right and Emma does break the curse, last time it took 28 years, and it's only been 3. Either way, I think it's safe to say you're gonna be here awhile."
Regina gritted her teeth, the leather cuff on her wrist itching terribly as she ached to tear her captor to shreds with magic. But alas, she had designed this cell herself. The Evil Queen put her in there because she knew what Regina knew, and Regina had no idea how to escape this particular prison. She returned to her spot on the floor, plotting her revenge in silence once again, for she knew that though it might be a century before she got out of this cage, she would eventually be free. Regina knew better than anyone that the Charmings would come through, and Emma would break this curse because that was what she was born to do.
KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE
Monday
Emma woke at exactly 5:00 AM.
She didn't need an alarm clock to do it. It's simply what she did. Every Monday, Emma Swan rose from her bed, pulled on her leggings and a sports bra and went for a run along the shore with her loyal black and white husky Tyga. She loved the ocean. The sound of the waves that reminded her of something. Her childhood, perhaps. Her early memories were something of a blur making it hard to recall details, but she was sure that the smell of salt and the cerulean color of the sea under the veil of twilight reminded her of a home she'd had once had.
Emma always returned from her run at exactly 6:00, just as the sun was rising above the waves. After a quick shower she would eat a simple breakfast of bacon and eggs as she watched the pink and purples fade through her bay window while flipping through The Daily Mirror she enjoyed the quiet.
At 7:00 she gave Tyga a pat on the head and left for work, stopping by Granny's to pick up her usual hot cocoa on the way where Ruby informed her that someone had broken into the diner.
"They took all the cash in the register," she said, "but they didn't get what was in the safe." Emma jotted down some notes in her notepad. "You'll look into it, won't you sheriff?"
"Don't worry, Ruby," Emma replied, grabbing her cocoa, "I'll be sure to find the guy before your grandmother does."
When Emma got to the station she found that Deputy Piper was already there had already fallen asleep at him desk. "Peter," she hissed, "Peter!" Emma kicked his reclined legs off the edge of his desk, waking him with a start. "Good morning. Here," she let a a stack of paperwork half a foot high land on his desk with a heavy thud. "Get these filled out by the time you go home today."
"Why?" Peter whined. He never ceased to amaze her. Her deputy sheriff was practically a child in every way. The only reason he still had his job (which he loathed) was because no one had ever applied for the position. So she kept Peter on, despite the fact that he was basically useless.
"Because you were supposed to finish them last week and now they're late."
The boy groaned loudly and looked as though he were about to stomp his foot.
"And why is Leroy still in his cell?!" she rushed to unlock the jail cell with a grumpy Leroy inside, "He's been in here since Saturday, dammit Peter that's a human rights violation."
Peter shrugged, "I forgot he was in there."
"I've been yelling at you for thirty minutes you little twat!" Leroy screamed. He said to Emma as he left, "You're crazy for letting that little sociopath have a gun."
"Thank you, Leroy. Please stop getting drunk and pissing on public statues."
When the door closed she turned to Peter. "We have to look into a break in at Granny's."
"Ugh." was his only response.
Emma and Peter spent all day tracking down the missing money. The trail finally led them to Will Ledder, a known thief and pick-pocket. He was arrested and put in a cell, but was released when he agreed to return all the cash he had taken. Emma knew making Peter do the paperwork would be a nightmare, so she let him go.
When she left the station at 6:00 (as she always did) Emma passed by the clocktower in the the town square. The hands on it's face did not move, and hadn't for, well, as long as she could remember. The night was cold. She tugged her red leather jacket tighter around her as she slipped into Granny's for dinner. She ordered the lasagna and read The Princess Bride, which she had already done a thousand times, and felt perfectly content to do it alone. Emma had never felt the need to seek out the company of others. She liked doing things on her own.
After a trip to the corner store to get milk and a quick jog along the beach with Tyga, Emma crawled into bed at 9:00. It was a ridiculously early time for a thirty-year-old to go to sleep, but she hated feeling groggy in the morning and, truthfully, she didn't have much else to do. There was something truly awful about sitting alone in her house, listening to the far away waves of the ocean. She also sipped at a tumbler of rum before bed. It helped her sleep and something about the scent was calming, it almost made her feel safe.
Before snuggling into bed, she did her last task of the day. It was a duty she never failed to perform, no matter how exhausted she was. She knelt before her bedside, closed her eyes, clasped her hands, and prayed.
Emma's faith was the one clear memory that she had. She had clung to it in order to escape a miserable childhood that she had almost completely blocked out. The church had helped her get off the street when she was young and alone. She owed her life to the kindness of Catholicism, but she hadn't been to mass in... well, a very long time, because of a dark and shameful secret that haunted her very soul. But, despite her reluctance to seek confession, every single night, Emma prayed.
She usually drifted off around 9:30, and she never, ever dreamed.
Tuesday
Emma woke at exactly 5:00 AM.
She ran with Tyga, she watched the sunrise over breakfast, and she stopped by granny's on her way to work.
"Sheriff Swan, if I could have a word?" Mr. Gold spooked her from behind nearly making her spill her hot cocoa. "Some teenagers have vandalized my shop. I'm sure you can get to the bottom of it?"
"Sure," she said, eager to end their conversation. Mr. Gold always gave her an uneasy feeling no matter how innocuous their conversations always seemed. "I'll look into it."
When she got to work she shook Peter awake and reminded him to do his paperwork, ignoring the face he made when he thought she wasn't looking. They spent the day tracking down the vandals: two youths named Hans and Greta. Emma locked them both up for the night and called Gold to let him know that she had taken care of it.
At the diner she ate a grilled cheese and onion rings while reading her book, like she did every Tuesday, and was picking up eggs at the corner store by 7:00.
Run, rum, prayer, bed. Like clockwork.
Wednesday
Awake at 5:00, run, shower, breakfast.
At the diner she was told that a child named Roland had gone missing. His mother, a redheaded woman named Zeta, was terribly worried, so Emma hurried to the station to wake up Peter.
They found Roland wandering around in the woods looking for his Papa. The whole thing broke her heart. His father had died long ago. Whatever the circumstances, Zeta didn't like to talk about them, but the boy, being so young, was still very confused as he struggled to comprehend death at such a fragile age.
At the diner she ordered a cheeseburger and french fries and began to read, but she heard a voice that made her look up.
The mayor, Regina Mills (who was a royal bitch), was entering the establishment with her young son in tow. He was ten-years-old and, though Emma had never actually met him, she had a soft spot for the boy. Every Wednesday, Regina took her son to get a hot cocoa at the diner after his weekly therapy session with Dr. Hopper, and every Wednesday, instead of reading her book Emma watched him as he sat in the booth in front of her. She was careful to disguise her voyeurism but she couldn't help but stare. He was a cute kid, and for some reason he made her long for something that she knew she could never have.
At the store she picked up enough protein bars to last her a week. They were for lunch while she worked so she didn't have to take a break.
After she ran she drank rum and after she drank rum she prayed. Then she fell into a dreamless sleep, as always.
Thursday
Awake, run, shower, breakfast.
At the diner, no one stopped her about any crime, but soon after she woke Peter up she got a call about a domestic disturbance at the Whale residence. The good doctor was, once again, arguing with his wife Kathryn. The two never came to blows but they weren't afraid to shout. She claimed that he was cheating and he claimed that she was spoiled brat who didn't appreciate him. Emma told Peter to write the report and left the place before she arrested them both for being equally awful people.
At Granny's she ordered a club sandwich with kettle chips and read her book. She was getting towards the end and that always made her sad, but the best part was when Wesley came to Buttercup on the night of her wedding. She loved the idea of love popping up when you least expect it.
At the store she bought toilet paper. Her run was quick, her rum was good, her prayer was chaste, and her sleep was deep and dreamless.
Friday
After her usual morning routine Emma ran into David at Granny's. He always came in at the end of the week to pick up a pie for his two kids. He was a widower, which was a shame because Emma could tell that he had an immense capacity to love. She hated seeing him alone and always longed to see him smile. Sometimes she even considered dating him (he was a nearly perfect specimen after all), but something about the idea repulsed her which seemed confusingly uncalled for.
There were no crimes that day which allowed her time to focus on paperwork (usually while Peter slept) and clean up the office.
At the diner she had a salad and finished her book, so afterwards she headed to the library where Lacey the librarian helped her find something new.
"I don't know... I've read almost everything in here."
"What about this one?" she asked, handing Emma worn copy of Peter Pan, "I don't think you've ever checked it out. And... you do... have a thing for pirates... don't you?"
Emma laughed and rolled her eyes, "You got me."
That night she met Ruby and Ashley for drinks at the Rabbit Hole. It was her one weekly tradition that involved true human interaction and companionship. They spread town gossip, which was mostly the same, and drank away their collective loneliness. On her walk home from the bar she caught Whale propositioning the woman everyone knew as Tink who was known to be a prostitute, and had to arrest him. Emma couldn't help but notice that everyone seemed to be lonely in Storybrooke, but strangely, everyone (including herself) appeared to have given up looking. There just wasn't much hope at all, and after her prayer, as she drifted off to sleep, she fell into the dark dreamless abyss that ensnared her mind every night.
Saturday
On Saturday Emma slept in. She waited until the sun had already risen to crawl out of bed and make her breakfast. Tyga always whined for a run but Emma needed her weekly break. She took her time getting down to the station to let Whale go home to his wife and afterwards brought her car to the David who was the only mechanic in town, for a tune up. The yellow bug needed lots of care. She had no idea why she still drove that thing. Honestly, she couldn't even really remember why she bought it (or when she bought it, for that matter), but she wanted it to last as long as possible regardless.
She spent most of the day in her garden, working up a sweat pulling weeds from the earth and pruning her rose bushes which were covered in pink blooms. She cleaned her house and did her laundry for the week. By the time she was done with chores it was 5:00 and time for to get ready. She took a long shower, meticulously shaving from head to toe, and scrubbed all the skin she could reach until she felt fresh and new.
Emma put on her favorite red dress, the one he loved, and did her makeup to the nines. When the doorbell rang she answered with a smile that felt slightly false, but brightened her mood all the same.
"Hey, babe!" Jefferson said, greeting her with a sloppy kiss, "I missed you."
She took his hand and said, "Me, too." as they walked towards his Mercedes and drove off towards the nicest Italian restaurant in town.
KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE
"So, how was your week?" Jefferson asked over spaghetti and meatballs while Emma munched on calamari.
She tried not to sound annoyed when she answered him. It seemed like he asked the same question every week, and her reply was always the same. "It was fine."
"Did anything interesting happen?" Another familiar question.
"Nope. Just the usual."
They ate in silence for a bit, then he made the rather half-hearted comment, "You look really nice tonight."
"Thank you." she said, and took a moment to look him over. He was very attractive, that much she was sure of, and he was nice to her. Not, like, super nice... but nice enough. By all respects he was a good boyfriend. He gave her rides when her car wouldn't start, he bought her presents on her birthday and all major holidays, and he kept her company once a week. It was just enough to barely satisfy her. Or, at least, that's what she told herself.
"Did you notice the clocktower is working again?"
"What?" said Emma, surprised that he had deviated from their usual script.
"That old clocktower in the square. It's ticking again. I noticed it this morning."
"Oh," she reached for a breadstick, "they must have finally gotten around to fixing it."
"I can't remember the last time that thing worked."
Emma shrugged, answering with a full mouth, "Neither can I."
That night they went back to his place, a mansion in the forest. They drank coffee and chatted about nothing until they finally fell into bed. The sex was about as good as any girl could realistically hope for. They had the routine down. He would work her with his fingers until she came apart, but he was so precise and clinical with his ministrations that the whole event usually took less then a few minutes. She supposed that was a good thing... but a part of her wished he would take his time. Next came the real thing, which was always in the missionary position. It, also usually took very little time. They had been dating for as long as she could remember and manipulating his body had become second nature. Again, she told herself that was a good thing, but something deep inside of her wanted something different. Something more.
Her life may have been simple but it was safe and consistent. There were never any surprises or unexpected troubles. Just the same thing with the same people, every single day.
Before she went to bed she opened her new book, quietly turning the pages as Jefferson snoozed peacefully next to her. Emma realized she had never read it before, and found herself quickly engrossed in the story. She fell asleep while reading about a particularly exciting sword fight...
And that night, she had a dream.
Sunday
Emma couldn't see, but she could feel. She could feel stubble scratching roughly across the skin of her neck. She could feel a strong hand palming her bare breasts, kneading at her flesh hard enough to bruise. Calloused fingers found her core, wet wanting. Her body was aching for him all over. She heard the moans escape her throat when he entered her. He worked her slow, building up her pleasure until she was writhing beneath him. Her fingers ran through the hair on his chest as he said delicious things in her ear. "Do you like that Emma? My beautiful Swan? There is nothing like watching you fall apart at my bidding. Will you come for me, love? Will you let me watch you succumb to me?"
Emma could feel her breathing going shallow as the fingers inside of her hooked into a spot deep inside that made her cry out. "Don't be afraid, darling, I've got you. Give yourself to me, Emma. My sweet Emma."
Emma jolted awake. She was panting, her body covered in sweat and her insides absolutely aching. She felt empty and desperate. Her inner thighs were soaked. The dream had seemed so real and she cursed the cruelty of the morning light for tearing her away just as she was on the brink of satisfaction. Now she just felt frustrated.
"Good morning." she heard Jefferson groan. When he put his arms around he added sleepily, "God, you're burning up."
"I have to go." she said, crawling out of his embrace.
"What? Why?" Usually they got breakfast at Granny's but Emma was already half dressed and heading for the stairs.
"I'm not feeling well," she called over her shoulder, "I think I'm getting sick, I don't want to give it to you."
"O-ok." he stuttered, clearly too tired to argue. "See you next week?" he shouted from upstairs as she was walking out the door. She would take one of his many cars knowing he could pick it up later.
"Yeah! I'll see you then!" And with that she was gone, wincing with every step she took as her burning thighs created friction that nearly drove her mad. The feeling was confusing, almost foreign, and yet somehow vaguely familiar. She drove home with the windows down, trying to cool off, unaware that her journey had just begun.
KEKEKEKEKEKE
Emma's Sunday was spent tending her garden. The town was emptied out for mass, as usual. Storybrooke's residents were a collectively devout people. In fact, Emma was the only citizen that didn't attend mass at least weekly. On Sundays everyone got together after the service for a great potluck at Granny's. Even Ruby managed to pull on a dress of a respectable length to take communion with her grandmother.
Emma always handled it the same. She pulled weeds and pruned and watered until her hands were sore. Then, when there was no more work to do she would sit on the little bench under the oak tree and read her bible. Her fingers would inevitably find the gold crucifix that hung around her neck at all times. The feel of the cool metal and intricate design always comforted her. It reminded her to resist the urge to sin; to lie, to cheat, to steal. It was one of two pieces of jewelry that she owned. The other was a silver ring with a single blue stone. It resided on her left hand. Not for any symbolic reason. That was simply the only finger that it fit, and she had never bothered to get it resized. Somehow, deep down, Emma knew that it was the only ring she would ever wear, and that it belonged on that finger.
She didn't go inside until well after the sun was set. She cleaned up after dinner, dreading the day to come. Peter had called to tell her that Leroy was in his usual cell for getting into a fight at the Rabbit Hole and when she asked if he'd done his paperwork he made a sarcastic remark and hung up the phone. Emma was just crawling into bed after her evening prayer when the doorbell rang.
For a moment, she was frightened. No one had ever stopped by unannounced.
No, wait, that couldn't be right. Surely someone had, at some point. People did that, didn't they?
If they did, Emma certainly couldn't remember it ever happening to her. She padded downstairs in her pajamas and warily peaked through the peephole, but there was no one there. Slowly she opened the door expecting no one. What she found surprised her beyond belief.
"Mom!"
Emma blinked, trying to process the word. Before her stood Henry Mills, the mayor's son. She had watched him from afar for years but they had never actually spoken, and now he was looking at her like she was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.
"Uh... Henry?"
Henry pushed past her and marched into the house with determination in his gait. "Ok, we gotta make this quick because she's going to check on me in a few hours."
"W-what?" Emma stammered, "Who?"
Henry turned around and replied, as if it were obvious, "The Evil Queen."
She shook her head, closing the door to keep out the chill. She must have heard wrong. "What did you say?"
Henry peeked out from the kitchen, sighing heavily, "Damn, I was hoping you got your memories back when I did. Well, I convinced you once, I can do it again. Let's call this mission Operation Viper."
Emma's head was whirling. For a moment she thought she might simply be hallucinating. "Listen, kid, I think you might be confused..."
"I'm not confused," he said, climbing up on the counter to get a glass from the cabinet. Emma briefly wondered how he automatically knew exactly where they were, "You're Emma Swan, the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. That makes you the product of true love, and you're the only one that can break this curse."
"Curse?!" she suddenly recalled that Henry had been in therapy for as long as she could remember, "Oh, boy. Listen, I think I should get you home to your mom."
"She not my mom!" he shouted, startling her with his adamant tone. "I mean... I guess technically she is... but she's the bad part of my mom. The part that didn't love me. The good part of my mom is hidden somewhere in town, but I haven't been able to find her."
"You mean... you have two moms?" It was the most sense she could make out of what the strange child was saying.
Henry replied while fixing his drink, "Well, yeah, but the mayor isn't one of them. She's an imposter. The real Regina is my adoptive mom and..." he winced when he said the next part, "you're my birth mom."
Emma's stomach dropped. She could feel all the blood leaving her face. She couldn't handle this. It was too much. "Henry, I don't know what kind of trick you're trying to play on me but it is very cruel."
"Because of what she made you think that you did. I know. But that's a fake memory. You have to believe me."
Emma felt breathless. How could he possibly know? Absolutely no one knew.
"Listen to me very carefully," he said seriously, "you have to go to mass next week."
"What? Why?"
"Because if he sees you it might change something!"
"If who sees me, Henry?"
"Just promise me you'll go!"
She became flustered, "I haven't been to church since I was... I can't even remember the last time I went to church."
"But you're like, super religious, right? Just like everybody in this town?"
"Uh..."
"You don't have to answer. I know that you are. In fact, you're so religious that I bet you take holy vows reeeeally seriously."
"Everyone takes holy vows really seriously."
He scoffed and mumbled, "Let's hope not." then he continued, "So you're really religious, but you don't go to mass because you would have to confess and that means facing what you think you did which goes against everything you believe, right?"
Emma was shocked. She just stood there gaping like a drowning fish. How was this possible? Was he reading her mind?
Henry just kept talking, "Don't you get it?!" he exclaimed, "She put those memories in your head to make sure you never went to mass and so that if you did ever go to mass you wouldn't have sex with a priest."
"Ok!" Emma yelled, snapping back to reality. This kid was clearly coocoo for cocopuffs and it was time for him to go. She bent down to his level and looked him straight in the eye, "Listen, kid, I don't know what kind of TV your mom has been letting you watch but you are way off base here and I need to get you home."
"You can't take me home. If she's catches you she'll know I have my memories back. Right now we have the element of surprise."
Henry began walking out the door but Emma stopped him, "Hey! I can't let you walk home after dark, you're only ten!"
"I'm not ten!" he shouted stubbornly, "I'm fourteen! That psycho bitch put me back in my ten-year-old body because she wants to go back to the time before you broke the curse. She's turned this whole thing into a creepy mommy dearest do-over. And, worst of all, NO ONE IN THIS TOWN AGES! So if we don't fix this I'm gonna be stuck this way forever!"
She tried to reason with him one more time, "Henry-"
"You're the savior. I know this is going to be hard, but you did this once and you can do it again. I'm not sure how, but she went through a lot of trouble to keep you and him apart, so phase one of Operation Viper is to make sure you meet him."
"Meet who?!" she called after him as he disappeared into the night.
Emma heard his reply on a seafaring wind, "Don't worry, you'll find him. You always have!"
This is the second fic I have ever written so please review to let me know how I'm doing!