Night Shift
This story is set after Bill and Sookie have broken up at the end of Season three and like all my other stories currently posted was written in 2011.
Sookie is gone and Bill is left trying to get on with his life.
My kudos as always go out to Alan Ball, HBO & C Harris without whom none of us would derive so much pleasure.
The character of Sally is mine.
Chapter 1
It had been a long rough night; all nights for that matter were long these days and none longer than the nights I have to visit Fangtasia and give orders to Eric. Oh I know that I could have summoned him to come to me but that only aggravates the situation even more. At least I can leave when it is my choosing, unlike the initial unpleasantness the first time I summoned him and had to have my guards escort him out after his accusations of my involvement in Queen Sophie Ann's death became too dangerous to continue. But that is months ago now and I have learnt from my mistakes. That's all I seem to be doing now, learning from the mistakes I have made in the past.
Having had the responsibility of Kingship thrust upon me I take my duties seriously but they are a burden to me, one that I could do without. If left to my own devices I would happily meet the sun now that Sookie is gone. I have not felt her since the night she found out the half truths that Eric so confidently told her. The memory of her heart shattering when she looked at me for the truth, and I could not give her what she wanted to hear, her face twisted in anger, betrayal and tears; the hurt she felt was forever imbedded in my brain.
I am beyond the sadness and beyond the pain. The guilt will never leave me. To know I have broken and crushed the one thing that had bought me back to life…now all that is keeping me going is my duty and of course Jessica. It is ironical that of all the lies and deceptions from Eric, the one truth he did speak was that of the fulfilment of a maker and the bond with their progeny. Jessica is the small flicker of light in my dark nights. I am thankful for this small mercy.
The drive back from Shreveport seems to be taking me forever tonight but I don't mind. I have my music to keep me company and at least it gives me time to myself to make further plans for the reconciliation between our kind and humans. There is a lot of ground to make up after the Russell Edgington debacle on live TV. If only Eric and Pam would listen to reason, I know that they don't like Nan Flannigan any more than I do but at the moment she is a necessary evil and she is also the one that has to face the most flak when things don't go to plan.
With the way feelings are running high, she at least appears to be a rational choice to front the AVL, my own personal feelings aside. I can work with her but Eric's feelings on that matter; hmm…. now that's a different story. He doesn't accept her any more than he accepts me as his King. It must have come as quite a shock to him when he heard of Sophie Ann's demise. He had thought he knew all that was going on in that quarter. I had put two and two together and suspected that it was from her he had been informed of my interest in Sookie. What he didn't know at the time was my role in Sophie Ann's court was no more than a smoke screen.
How he felt when he realised how wrong his assumptions and confession to Sookie had been I don't know. Did he feel any remorse for the part he had played in her disappearance as I did, I don't think it had even entered his head? Of course he thinks he knows the whole truth of my first meeting with Sookie, and he blames me for all that happened, but that doesn't matter to me for I know the truth.
It is not something that I will ever discuss with him and he knows better than to question me about it. The only person I will divulge the complete truth to will be Sookie if she asks and now, that is not possible of course and that has added to my guilt in the matter. As for Pam, she will do and think anything that Eric tells her to so I will not even go there, after all he is her maker and that she loves him is beyond doubt.
Dam I need gas, I'll have to find a filling station. I'll mention to Katarina to make sure the car is always filled in the future. I should have remembered to check before leaving but there's just so much to do at the moment. Looks like I'll just make it to that gas station a few miles up ahead, with luck. I can see the lights now so at least I know that they are open. I'll pick up some true blood for the road too while I'm there. True Blood, I had been living on it for so long. I had not fed on a human since Sookie but I can't let myself think about that now.
'Hi, how you doing tonight' the girl behind the counter asked as I walked in to pay for the gas. Apart from myself and the girl, there was no one else in the store. She had a TV to keep her company but that was switched off and she seemed to be engrossed in the book she was reading, as I wondered over to the fridge for my blood. 'We've got other types out the back if you need anything' she called out from up the front of the store. 'Just let me know if you can't find what you want' she smiled.
Walking up to the counter she reluctantly put her book down to take the blood from me. 'Would you like me to heat one of those up for you, one for the road?' she asked. 'Thanks that would be kind of you. Seems kind of quiet in here, do you get many late night customers' I asked looking around at the rows of various items on display. The store seemed to stock everything that you could think of for those quick last minute shopping trips when you run out of something and the supermarket is closed. 'Oh you'd be surprised by the amount of customers we do get. We have regulars of course coming in not just for gas, but on their way home from their regular night out. They have an attack of the munchies on their way home' she laughed 'you know that kind of thing. And we get a lot of drop ins that have run out of something and come in cause we're all that's open at night. Won't be a minute and I'll heat this up for you' she smiled as she walked over to the microwave, shaking up the bottle of blood as she walked.
I took the opportunity to quickly look at the book that she was reading and was surprised by the title as I had read it back in the seventies when it had caused quite a sensation. My curiosity peaked; I took a closer look at her. She was small, blonde and was dressed in jeans with a black Rolling Stones tee shirt from their 1995 tour. Interesting choices but then anyone who was reading Chariots of the Gods and into the Stones I would find an interesting combination. She came back to the counter and handed me my blood. 'Will there be anything else I can help you out with tonight' she asked.
'You can tell me what you think of the book and what your interest in it is.' I replied. 'Well, I just think the book is great. To write something like that back then and the basic theory that perhaps the Gods the ancients were worshipping weren't Gods at all but were maybe aliens, what a profound idea. It got me thinking and I've kind of played with the idea that, what if sometime in the future we find a way of travelling back in time, then maybe our ancestors mistake us for gods or … I don't know. It's kind of too big for me to think about and I'm not really making any sense' she trailed off embarrassed. 'I do know one thing though,' she said adamantly 'nothing is closed to an open mind.'
Now that was something I definitely couldn't argue with her. If only everyone thought like that; how much easier life would be for us all? She was smiling and seemed genuinely pleased to have someone to talk to without being judged for her views and that was also something that I certainly could relate to. 'Have you seen the documentary?' I asked. 'It's a little dated but it's got a really off the wall sound track on it, kind of quirky. And you know that there was a sequel to the book. I happen to have them both; perhaps if you are interested I could drop them by one night?'
Her face lit up with real pleasure making her azure blue eyes sparkle. 'Are you sure that's its not too much trouble, I mean if it's out of your way?' she asked. 'My name is Sally by the way.' 'Hi I'm Bill' I said. 'Oh, I know who you are; I've seen the local Bon Temps Gazette. There have been a couple of articles you've been in about your charity work. I really admire what you are trying to do for your community and the community in general' she said with sincerity.
I was struck by the honesty in Sally's reactions. She was intelligent and interesting to talk to and seemed so open to everything, so non judgemental and that was something I wasn't exactly used to. Everything has been such a struggle for so long. If am being honest, as much as I love and will go on loving Sookie, there were times when her fight to accept and understand Supes made things so much harder for me and for our relationship, yet here was Sally just accepting of things the way they are, without so much as a blink of the eye.
'If you really mean it, I get off at two most nights before Roy comes in to do the all night shift and I only work Mondays to Fridays so perhaps next time you are on your way through?' she was smiling shyly now. 'Sure, perhaps by then you will have finished the book and we can talk about your thoughts and your theories. Oh by the way, I like your tee shirt. Have you seen them?' 'The Stones, no I wish. Have you seen them live in concert?' she asked enthusiastically.
'Sure, I actually saw them back in the sixties when they first started out and Brian was their leader. He formed the group and he used to get them gigs in a little pub in Richmond. They were really something, so raw and bluesy. Brian played a mean slide guitar and Mick on the harp, it was really something.' I smiled as I remembered what it was like in the smoky little crowded room, the fledgling group starting their journey to the top. 'God it must have been an awesome time to be around. There was so much happening, there was so much change. It was a decade of change that still reverberates around the world, or maybe that's just me seeing it with rose coloured glasses and clichés. I read too much' she laughed.
'No, you're right it was a pretty interesting time to be around. There was a lot of free thinking going on and a lot of free love, or so the establishment liked to put it and, it was frowned upon' I said laughing too 'but you know, nothing much changes; there are always going to be those that conform and just get on with living, those that fight against the norm just for the sake of it and those of us who just want to improve life for everyone.' I smiled.
'And let me guess, you are one of those that want to improve life for everyone, not just vamp ….sorry, not just your community' she said with something like respect in her voice. 'You know, it's not that hard to live and let live and that's all most of us want. But there are always going to be a few, humans or vampires that have to' 'go against the norm for the sake of it,' she said quoting me. I laughed 'Yes, that's it. And you are right; nothing is closed to an open mind'. We both laughed. 'You know you are different. Oh I don't just mean that you are a Vampire and different, I mean you seem so …philosophical and I guess that isn't how I pictured Vamps to be' she said a little embarrassed. 'And how many of us have you spoken to before?' I asked amused.
'Oh umm, you're my first, Vampire that is'.
The words shook me. A flashback to Sookie saying those same words permeated my brain and took me back to that first night. A wave of aching for her spread through me but I tried to ignore it. What good would it do me? I had to let go and live in the now. Sally had stopped what she was saying and was looking at me. 'Are you okay?' she asked. I hadn't realised that it was so painfully evident that something was amiss. 'I've said something to upset you haven't I? I'm sorry, I just don't know when to stop. It's just that I don't get many customers in here that actually take the time to talk and definitely no one that is interested in the same kind of stuff I'm into. Let's face it, most people around here don't think too much beyond their mortgage and the next football or baseball game. It's just so nice to have someone to talk to that doesn't judge me for my beliefs' she finished.
'I know what you are saying' I said. 'Yes, I can imagine that you do' she said, 'It must be really hard for you. I'm so sorry, it sucks. Oh, I didn't mean…' she burst out into a giggle, looking totally embarrassed now. I was laughing too and it felt really good. It had been a long time since I had really laughed and it broke the melancholia her previous comment had awoken. 'You should laugh more' she said still smiling 'your eyes sparkle when you laugh. I'm sorry now I've embarrassed you' she said with the hint of a wicked smile on her lips. I think if it was possible I would have been blushing and I think that she knew it as she stood there looking at me with a grin on her face.
'Oh god, I seem to be doing nothing but apologising to you. I told you my mouth runs away with me. I just can't seem to help myself' she was saying. 'I, umm well, I don't get too many compliments these days and umm …' I was tongue tied. I don't think I had ever met anyone so full of life and I just wasn't used to someone so free spirited I told myself. 'I really have embarrassed you' she said seriously now. 'Look I didn't mean to, I just say it like it is and like I said, I don't get much in the way of interesting conversation so please, I hope you aren't offended in any way' she finished. 'Sally, you haven't offended me, honestly. It's been really nice talking to you and I will drop by with the DVD and book next time I'm on my way through, that's if it's all right with you?' 'I'd like that Bill, I'd like that a lot' she smiled.
I paid for the gas and the blood and told her again I would be back. I got in the car and continued on my way home. I was feeling really tired but it was a good feeling to know that out there you can run across someone who is willing to accept things for what they are. It was a refreshing feeling and gave me a glimmer of hope.
I didn't have time to think too much about things these days so it wasn't until three nights later when I got a call from Eric regarding trouble with a group of Fellowship of the Sun protestors outside Fangtasia that meant yet another visit to Shreveport. As I was getting ready to leave I decided to dig out the book and DVD I'd mentioned and drop in on Sally on the way back after finishing my business.
On the drive to Fangtasia I found myself thinking about her. I realised that she was the first girl I had thought about other than Sookie, for many years. There was an openness to her that I found so appealing, what was it she had said 'nothing is closed to an open mind' yes I really like her sentiments. I could just be myself and she didn't question it and for the first time in a very long time I felt good around a woman. It was so long since I had felt this relaxed that it almost came as a shock. How a brief meeting should have such an effect I wasn't sure but, and here I had to look at it clearly, it was simply meeting Sally and talking to another soul on a normal level that had done me the most good.
Walking into Fangtasia through a crowd of red neck protestors didn't even diminish my mood. 'Sire' Eric greeted me with a half nod of acknowledgement and light contempt in his voice. 'Eric you really need to start dealing with these issues yourself. You know how much havoc Russell has caused and it is up to us to try to overcome what his actions have left behind. I know how much damage it has done to us as a community and I know that it is costing you on a personal level. I have seen the revenue figures from Fangtasia and they are not good. You must be hurting.' 'Oh yes Bill, I am hurting' Eric's tone told me he was not talking about Fangtasia now but of matters of a personal nature and I was not going to go into it, full stop end of story. If he thought that I had deliberately let Sookie get hurt for my own purposes then he did not know me well and I owed him nothing by way of revealing my private circumstances to him.
'Bill there is something different about you tonight' Eric said with mild suspicion in his voice. I shrugged; he was clearly not used to my newly found confidence. 'Eric you need to take control of this situation with the protestors' I said in an attempt to focus him on the matters on hand. 'Use your charm, don't glamour them what ever you do, but I know you can do this and I am asking you to, for your own sake. You know the current AVL edict Nan has out at the moment, it's all about public relations and I do believe that it is the right path to take. Nan's delivery leaves a lot to be desired but you know that we have to put up with it for as long as the Authority is backing her, it's in our best interests to go with the flow. Let's face it, right now there isn't much else we can do' making my meaning clear without using words.
Eric looked at me thoughtfully, as if reading between the lines and he finally understood that while I might agree with the principles of our campaign for acceptance, Nan's lack of respect and at times utter contempt for those she felt beneath her, which included both Eric and myself was just as intolerable for me as it was for him. 'Why Bill, I do believe that you are right. You surprise me. I didn't think that you had it in you. Perhaps I have totally underestimated you' he said looking at me in a new light. 'There really is more to you than meets the eye. All right, leave it with me. I'll think of something and will keep you up to date on how it goes' he said smiling slightly 'Oh and Bill' he added as I was walking out the door 'perhaps I have been wrong about a few things in the past.'
And that I thought; was the closest I would ever get to an apology from Eric. Still, I got in the car with a few less concerns than I've had in a while. Looking at the time I realised that it was later than I thought. I would have to hurry if I was going to get to the gas station and stop off to see Sally before she left for the night. As it was, I got there just as she was leaving. I'd pulled off into a parking bay at the side of the building in semi darkness and got out to make my way around the corner to the front door when she turned the corner and bumped into me. She jumped and started in alarm as she stumbled in her fright. I reached out and held her arm to steady her and she gasped.
'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you I was just dropping in to give you these' I said holding out the book and the DVD. 'Oh Bill, you scared me' she said still shaking, and then when she realised I may have misconstrued what she had said, not wanting to hurt my feelings, she went on 'I didn't see you in the dark. I was miles away and wasn't looking where I was going and really it's very sweet of you to think of me and bring these for me.' She seemed to relax only slightly after her initial fright. 'Are you in a hurry to get these back?' she went on 'I just finished reading the first book, it's a lot to take in and think about'. 'Take your time, there's no hurry. I haven't watched the DVD for a long time now so please feel free to hang on to it and the book for as long as you want.'
I had to admit I was disappointed, she seemed distant compared to our first meeting and I was wondering if she had second thoughts about her liberal views so not wanting to push it, I wished her a good night and turned to go to my car.
'Bill' she called as she walked over to where I was standing 'Look I'm sorry, it's just that…' at that moment two cars with loud revellers on their way home from a night out pulled up to the filling pumps. Sally looked across to the two cars then looked at me and seemed to make up her mind. 'Do you want to sit in the car and talk for a minute, I mean that's if you've got time? I don't want to hold you up if you had any plans' she finished.
My car being closer we got in. 'Hey, nice ride' she said sinking in to the comfort of the BMW's lush upholstery before becoming serious again. 'Look I really am sorry about before. I didn't mean to seem cold but here's the thing, and I'm going to be totally honest with you cause that's all I can be. Roy, that's the owner's son that comes in and takes over from me, I think I mentioned him the other night? Well anyway, he happened to see one of the articles from the B T Gazette about you and said that you had been accused or questioned about your girlfriend going missing a while back. He said the talk was that you murdered her.'
Her words bought it all flooding back, I relived those horrible weeks after Sookie's disappearance. Andy Bellefleur's endless questions and accusations, Jason's suspicions, Tara's venomous insinuations and Sam's icy hatred, facing them all but unable to give them any hope when I had none myself. All the while I was feeling a gaping hole in my soul, my heart torn into millions of pieces, missing Sookie, aching for her and not knowing what had happened but feeling that if it wasn't for me she would still be here. Sally's words had torn through my soul again leaving me bereft. I had never felt so much pain as I did then in that moment, knowing that I would never be free of the guilt.
A single blood tear slid down my face. In all this time I had been unable to cry, despising myself too much to think me worthy of even expressing my emotions, let alone in front of anyone else. 'Oh god, oh I am so sorry. I didn't mean that I believed him. Bill, really I am just so sorry' she said as she hurriedly got a tissue from her purse and lent over to wipe the blood away. 'Please, don't cry. You have no idea how bad I feel. I never should have said anything but I was so pissed off with Roy bringing it up because I just felt that you aren't the type of person that would have hurt anyone. I mean I'm not naïve, I know you are a vampire so I suppose you must have done things but I mean well, I don't think that you'd hurt someone that you cared about'. 'Sally you are so wrong there' I said but seeing the look of alarm on her face I went on. 'I didn't kill Sookie if that's what you think, but I did hurt her emotionally, not on purpose but …' I trailed off.
'It's none of my business and I understand if you don't want to talk about it but right now you look like you need a friend'. I looked at her and she looked sincere in what she was saying and I had never considered that apart from talking to Jessica, I had no friends. I opened my mouth to speak but hesitated. She noticed and patted my hand as though soothing a child. 'Hey, look I understand. Everyone thinks that I'm out going and chatty but when it comes to really personal stuff, the stuff that only you know and feel deep down within yourself where you live…I find it really hard to talk about that stiff with anyone. I like to think of myself as enlightened but who am I kidding. I'm more uptight than the average person come to think of it' she said squeezing my hand a little for reassurance.
I don't know why but I sat there and talked to her of Sookie. I told her of what I felt was my betrayal of her without going into the actual circumstances but just in general and how I could not tell Sookie the reasons at the time and how she had not asked. I explained that we had broken up and how I felt that it was my fault she was missing. I told her of my love for her and what she meant to me, that Sookie was my very existence. I told her things that I had never told a single living soul, that I had not even told Sookie.
Sookie had never known how much I desperately would have loved to have given her children, my children, our children. I so wanted that and I wanted to watch her with my child growing inside her, touching her swollen belly knowing that it was our union that had created it. To experience again the feeling of wonder seeing my child born and knowing I could watch him grow into the man I could no longer be.
Then to have a second child, a golden headed daughter to be the image of her mother but with my blue eyes. To see Sookie in that little girl surrounded by our love, to protect her from the cruelty of an unforgiving world if she was born with Sookie's telepathy, that was what I was longing for. Every time we made love I would pray futilely for a miracle, that somehow I could give her what I so wanted knowing that in reality, it was just not possible.
I talked of what I knew I would have to face if Sookie and I remained together, for there would come a day that she would die and I would live on. My choices were simple; to choose the true death rather than go on without her or to turn her, and I wasn't even sure if that was a possibility with a Fae. Had it been possible, I doubted whether I could do that to Sookie, even when it meant that we could be together for all eternity. Would she even want that, even consider it and of course, it would have to be her choice?
I talked of how I just simply missed her. I missed her face, her voice, her touch, her laugh. I missed the simple intimacy of a connection with another living creature. To be alone again, after being so alone for so many years was a living hell that I wished on no one. Destiny leads us down a strange road and we go where it takes us, blindly following its path, little realising that we are at its cruel mercy until we find ourselves washed up on the shore of despair and left pondering why.
Sitting there talking to Sally was cathartic. I had emptied my heart of its burden to this almost total stranger and I felt stronger for it. If I was never to see her again I would not forget her, not ever. She sat patiently listening while I unburdened what was grieving me. She did not judge, she did not comment. She let me talk until I had nothing left to say.
'I can't know the pain and hurt you have been through but I was in a relationship that I thought was with my soul mate' she sadly said. 'I loved him with all my heart and I thought that he loved me but you don't deliberately cheat on the one person that is there for you if you love them do you and that's what he did? A little piece of my heart died the night I found out he'd been with someone else' she said quietly 'you get over it but you are never the same and you never ever forget. There is always the thought in the back of your mind what if, what if you had never found out, what would your life be like now? Would it be great or would it have turned out an even bigger disaster in the long run' she sighed. 'Bill I can understand a little of what you are going through. The worst thing is the loneliness. It's cold and creeps into your soul and over shadows everything. Having someone to talk to, just sharing those stupid little day to day moments and having someone to just touch, I miss that connection so much too.'
I couldn't help myself, leaning over I gently touched her face. She didn't pull away, instead she reached up to my hand and stroked it. I was kissing her before I even thought about it. Not a lustful kiss, although it did thoroughly arouse me and after all, I had not been with anyone for quite a while. This connection however, was one living being seeking shelter in the other's comfort and it felt good, it felt right. It was such a normal thing to sit and relate to another being without the complications of a relationship to cloud the situation and create difficulties.
I had not expected this to happen. Just touching her soft skin, feeling the heat of her lips and the wetness of her tongue, I was becoming more and more aroused. I so badly wanted a connection now on so many levels. Sally made little groaning sounds of her own. Her response had begun as mine had, seeking to ease a little loneliness but as our kisses deepened, my desires became her desires too. 'Not here' she said panting as she broke away from our embrace and looked at me, her azure eyes shining with a smoky light of passion. In my aroused state my fangs had popped but even that had not diminished her feelings for me. 'Come home with me, spend the night?' I questioned a little unsure of her answer. 'All right, Bill I'm trusting you and I want you to trust me too. I'm not going to hurt you emotionally. We just need to be together tonight, no strings attached, right?'
The drive back to Bon Temps didn't take that long as there was little traffic on the road. Pulling into the drive, Sally was surprised by the security around the house. The guards on duty were all hand picked so I knew I could rely on their discretion not to discuss my private matters with anyone and they were loyal to me beyond a shadow of a doubt. We got out of the car and went in.
'Can I get you a drink?' I asked 'or are you hungry, if you need anything please just let me know?' I said more to put myself at ease than to be polite. 'No Bill, I don't need anything' she said as she stepped closer to me then leaned in to kiss my cheek. Taking her hand I walked with her up the stairs to the guest bedroom. I could not bring myself to use the main bedroom. For me that would always be Sookie's room, our room.
Tonight was different.
To be continued…..