EG: dave.

TG: what?

EB: i need you to come over to my house. now.

TG: that was blunt

EB: now, dave.

TG: damn egderp

TG: fine geez be right over

EB: be quick about it, okay?

TG: scared to be alone huh

EB:you suck!

TG: you blow

EB: later. just get over here.

TG: what?

— ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] —

John looked down at himself. He'd spent so much money on this, and he was going to show it to Dave, whether he liked it or not— even though he knew he would. He sported a tight-fitting, frilly maid's dress. It was completely black with white ruffles for trim, a puffy skirt, a tiny apron and many layers. It'd taken him half an hour just to get the dress on, and he hadn't even started on the accessories. He'd also purchased a little frilly french headband to go with it, as well as a small plastic flower, thigh highs complete with bows and shiny, leather flats with a thick black strap going across them. They reminded him of a powerpuff girl's shoes, but they matched the rest of the outfit.

John felt like he was being squeezed to death, but in a good way. It made him feel dirty and kinky, like he'd been a bad little girl— err, boy— and needed to be punished. Only then did he notice the tightness in his underwear and how hot the costume felt. When was Dave getting here?

Dave had only just gotten to John's doorstep. What was so urgent that he had to come over right now? He raised a finger to push on the doorbell, but deep blue text flashed back in his mind.

the door is unlocked. i'm in my room.

Well, the door was indeed unlocked, Dave soon found out. He weaved his way through Mr. Egbert's disturbing maze of clowns— harlequins— and started up the stairs. John's bedroom door was closed, but unlocked. Dave heard the click, as well as feet scampering away. Was this some sort of joke?

Dave knocked twice. He heard John call out, "Dave? Uh, come in..." almost sheepishly. He opened the door and holy shit what was John wearing oh my God it's so hot.

John was lying on his bed, resting his head on a fist. He could see Dave perfectly, how his perfect pokerface cracked and melted for just a moment before racing back to stoic perfection.

Dave stared him down. Ate up every detail. Wondered what was under that skirt and, oh fuck, his pants felt unreasonably tight. Fucking skinny jeans, this was unbearable.

"Do you like what you see, Dave?" John's voice had never sounded more seductive than right now. Dave felt his cheek heating up as he dragged his legs, slowly crossing over to John's bed. Each muscle forgot what functioning was like, as if they'd turned to lead.

John got down on all fours, exposing a giant floppy bow on the back of the dress, and raised his eyebrows suggestively. He was so horribly nervous, he wasn't sure how he was being so smooth. This must be how Dave felt all the time... He wondered if he could break Dave tonight. "Well? Get over here, Strider. Hehe."

"Uh. John. Did a succubus or Rose possess you or something? What is—"

"Don't question it. Now get your hot piece of ass over here and let me tap it."

Holy fuck, John was always such a derp. Does he even know what he's saying? Does he know how to dominate? Dave takes a few more steps towards John at a faster pace. His pants feel like they're going to burst. As Dave was close enough, he was pulled up to the bed, flipped onto his back, and straddled.

John grinned devilishly and pulled Dave up to him for a deep, steamy kiss. It was quickly, hastily responded to, and John teased the familiar lips with his tongue.

John was doing everything right to make Dave this horny. He'd never wanted this sick little derp so badly, especially when he'd eventually pried his mouth open and thrust his tongue in. Dave gasped as John invaded his mouth, and froze up for a moment before responding.

However, it seemed that John had already lost interest in the heated kiss, and detached himself with a string of saliva still attached. It broke once he reattached himself to Dave's collarbone, sucking and gently biting. When he pulled away to move to another spot, he left a nice mark. Dave tilted back his head with a gasp and slid his hands down John's body, mapping out every curve and every pleat of the dress. His hands reached the small of his back and played with the bow of the apron, tugging at it until it came undone and fluttered off.

John reached one hand up to Dave's shades, and felt up his chest with the other. He plucked away the shades with a flick of his hand, placing them on the nightstand next to his glasses.

Dave squeezed his eyes shut quickly, hoping to pass it off as being closed in pleasure. He didn't want the moment ruined by his mutant eyes. John bought the act, or at least let it pass for now. His hand went down to join the other, and he began to lift up Dave's record shirt. Dave pulled it over his head and reached for the dress, but found his hands forced to the mattress and John reaching for his jeans.

Dave gasped; his pants were roughly unbuttoned and removed, followed by his boxers, revealing a hard, throbbing member that glistened with precum. John immediately wrapped his mouth around it, sucking on the head lightly and licking it clean. Dave groaned, digging his nails into the pillow and moaning out John's name.

Suddenly, it all stopped. "Dave," he heard. "Why won't you ever let me see your eyes?"

Shit.

"They're fucking weird, man. You'd flip your shit."

"Try me."

John dragged a finger up Dave's length, earning a drawn-out moan. The both of them were painfully hard, but John wouldn't let Dave do anything to him yet. His tongue stroked at the sensitive underside and his teeth brought out a shuddering gasp from being dragged against the top. He felt Dave's hands tangle in his hair and pull the locks taut.

John pulled away his mouth and climbed back up to stare Dave in the eyes. They were still glued shut.

"I will stop right now if you don't open your eyes." John said. It seemed this was taking a turn for the worse; John had started this, yet just threatened to end it. Stupid stupid stupid...

Bright red eyes shot open and stared into deep blue ones. John grinned like it was nothing and slid back down Dave's body, taking the tip of his head into his mouth, eliciting a loud moan. After a few minutes, Dave was panting heavily and digging his hands into the bedsheets.

"John... Oh fuck, I'm close..." He managed to moan. John hummed in response, if only to drive him mad with the vibrations. He felt Dave tense up and took the whole length into his mouth, barely managing not to gag. Dave let out one last moan and spilled over, his load going straight down John's throat, swallowed like an expert. John removed his mouth, grinning like a madman, and pulled Dave into a sloppy kiss. After a few moments, he pulled away and started to unzip his dress.

Dave gawked at John's nearly naked body, emotions noticeable without his shades. The dress had been dropped to the floor, revealing frilly panties that complimented his raging boner quite nicely. The headband, socks, and shoes were still on and the flower was tucked behind his ear, but they wouldn't be for long. Dave ate up each and every toned muscle on his body. Surprisingly, John wasn't nearly as derpy as he looked with clothes on. He was actually pretty fucking hot.

John removed the headband and repositioned himself to rest in between Dave's legs, stroking his member firmly. It was almost immediately hard again. He toed off his shoes and dropped them onto the floor and dragged a nail up Dave's length, eliciting a carnal moan. The thigh highs ended up in a heap next to the maid's dress, then after almost ages of torture later, the frilly undergarment joined them.

Dave stared with an open mouth, then snapped it shut. John was massive. He wasn't sure how long be was staring, having only snapped out of it when he felt a finger push its way up his ass. It stung and brought forth a shuddering gasp, but Dave nodded after a few moments, and a second finger entered and began to scissor and prod around. A third finger joined the others, and that's when he felt it. Stars shot across his eyes and pleasure raced through him, accompanied by a loud scream.

"JOHN! Oh fuck, John, do that again!"

But all too soon, John had removed his fingers. However, Dave found his legs being lifted up onto surprisingly strong shoulders and felt something rock hard pressed against his entrance. He moaned softly as it was pushed in; it was painful and fairly uncomfortable, but good.

Dave waved off John to tell him to start thrusting. John pulled all of the way out, then thrust in completely. He waited for another sign to begin thrusting, first slowly, then picking up speed.

"Shit, Dave, you're still tight..." John gasped out between ragged breaths.

For a moment, Dave only responded with moans, but he managed to form words between them. "I don't... Give... A flying... Fuck. Do not... slow... down. Oh, shit John..."

John lifted up Dave's legs to get a better angle, thrusting fast and deep. He adjusted the two of them again, and hit against the spot he'd been looking for, immediately being rewarded with a yelp and a drawn-out groan. Stars flew across Dave's vision again, wiping out everything but him and John and that god damn amazing sensation. He cried out again as heat pooled in his stomach, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer. He started to tell John, but was beat to it.

"Dave... I'm close..." John whined out. It was nearly painful to keep on going without release. Dave tensed up around him, spurting all over his stomach with a loud grunt. The squeeze set him off, forcing him to cum deep inside Dave's ass after a final thrust. That should be pleasant later...

John carefully pulled out with a small, satisfied sigh. Dave continued to throw away his coolkid style by whimpering softly and wrapping his arms around John's neck, pulling him closer. John kissed his forehead and pulled the flower out from behind his ear.

"Here, this is for you." He said quietly with a small smile.

"What a great time to be a romanti—" The flower squirted water all over Dave's face. "OH FUCK YOU! Was this the whole point of me coming over here!"

"Oh Dave, I love you." John grinned widely and quickly pecked his lips

"Love you too, Egderp."

((What have I done? This is my first fanfic, and I didn't know what to call it either, so... Yeah... Hope you enjoyed?))