A/N: So i've had this in my head for a little while. It's based off Kelly Clarkson's song, Because Of You, obviously, and it's just something I thought Arya might feel. So please be nice as this is my first songfic.
Because Of You
Eragon was confessing his love for me. I realised it was so much more than an infatuation.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I wasn't going to repeat Eragon's mistake of loving me. I'd been loved before and that hadn't ended well either.
My eyes watered as I remembered Faolin.
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I won't go through the loss of a love again. Sorry, Eragon, that's why I can't let myself love you.
I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard
That's all that love brings. Hurt. Pain. I can see it in your eyes every time you see me and it's all because you love me.
I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far
Because of Faolin I will never love again.
Because of you I never stray too far from the side walk
Because of Faolin I never leave my room in Ellesmera or my tent with the Varden, unless my presence is required by Nasuada or Islanzadi.
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of Faolin I learned to protect myself.
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me
Because of Faolin I don't trust you, Eragon.
Because of you I am afraid
But Faolin does not scare me; you do, Eragon. What you make me feel scares me.
I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out
I'm always on the receiving end of your guidance. I remember after we left Eastcroft, and you admonished me for killing that man. You taught me. I lost my way and you put me back on track.
I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes
It's what's expected of me from my mother. Never to show my emotions, to do so is to be weak.
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh every day of my life
But even so I'm miserable. Only pretending to be happy.
My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with
Even now, my heart is not broken over Faolin, no; it was broken before that when the Forsworn killed my father.
Because of you I never stray too far from the side walk
Because of Faolin I never leave my room in Ellesmera or my tent with the Varden, unless my presence is required by Nasuada or Islanzadi.
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of Faolin I learned to protect myself.
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me
Because of Faolin I don't trust you, Eragon.
Because of you I am afraid
But Faolin does not scare me; you do, Eragon. What you make me feel scares me.
I watched you die
I watched Faolin fall from his horse, cut by Urgal weapons.
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I heard you cry in you sleep, Eragon. Crying over me.
I was so young you should have known better than to lean on me
I knew my mother should never have used me the way she did when my father died.
You never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain
She was blind to everything, even my own pain, just as she was blind to all when I was captured at Gil'ead and she thought me dead.
And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing
All I notice now is my pain.
Because of you I never stray too far from the side walk
Because of Faolin I never leave my room in Ellesmera or my tent with the Varden, unless my presence is required by Nasuada or Islanzadi.
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of Faolin I learned to protect myself.
Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of Faolin, I don't want to remember any of my memories, they're all about him.
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of Faolin, I don't know how to tell you what I feel for you, Eragon.
Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you, Eragon, I realise there is nothing and no-one in my life.
Because of you I am afraid
Because of you, Eragon, I am afraid.
Because of you
Because of you
A/N: And there it is. I hope you liked it. Please R&R.