Title: Romeo Juliet Affair
Author: Jodie/JoBelle
Email: me@jodie.tv
Summary: Just a lil Buffy diary entry I felt compelled to write set post "Innocence"
Feedback: PLEASE oh please oh please! You review me, I review you :)
Angel gave me a ring last night. 'It's a claddagh ring' he told me with just the merest hint of a brogue, slipping unconsciously back into old speech patterns that were centred around this relic from his old word. The hands are for friendship, the crown for trust and the heart, the heart is for love. He told me he loved me. He said those three little words almost haltingly as if unwilling to relinquish the existence of the feeling to the air. He told me he'd tried not to, wished he could stop but he couldn't and he was repeating exactly what was in my own heart, I couldn't stop loving him no matter how hard I'd tried and I'm the slayer I can try pretty damn hard. He said the words with such gentleness and longing but I could hear the hint of despair in his voice at the hopelessness of it all.
I knew what he felt but for once just once I wanted to ignore it all, to deny that he was a vampire and I a slayer and the thousands of things that stood in our way so I kissed him. I kissed him and he kissed me back and eventually we fell back on his bed, he was gentle and sweet and oh so tender, I felt as fragile as a glass bubble in his arms, as delicate as crystal, soft as silk. He was wonderful and when it was all over we fell asleep, with me tucked safely into the crook of his arm.
It's morning now, and the light of day has come back to haunt us. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, for every glorious happiness there must be excruciating sadness, I know this and yet somehow I thought maybe, just maybe I had done enough for once that I'd be able to have my one moment on my birthday. Turns out it was Angel who got his one moment and while I am deliriously happy for him that he got to feel that one moment of perfect bliss, I am now in perfect hell. There is a monster now, wearing his face, and saying my name and remembering each and every single thing we ever did together.
I have been betrayed, Jenny who I always thought of as a friend, had encouraged my watcher to date, she knew this would happen, she knew all about the curse put on Angel by the gypsies of her tribe, knew that it was possible for him to lose his soul but stayed quiet all those months. Silence I am now paying for. I have to kill him this fiend with the face of an Angel, with the face of MY Angel and yes shutting her out of the group is childish and petty but I don't feel very mature now. I feel like curling up into a ball and sobbing until the tears will no longer come and I am left with nothing but dry heaves and the memory of us. Although in the end I suppose that's exactly what I will be left with memories and ashes of another Romeo and Juliet affair that ended badly.
Author: Jodie/JoBelle
Email: me@jodie.tv
Summary: Just a lil Buffy diary entry I felt compelled to write set post "Innocence"
Feedback: PLEASE oh please oh please! You review me, I review you :)
Angel gave me a ring last night. 'It's a claddagh ring' he told me with just the merest hint of a brogue, slipping unconsciously back into old speech patterns that were centred around this relic from his old word. The hands are for friendship, the crown for trust and the heart, the heart is for love. He told me he loved me. He said those three little words almost haltingly as if unwilling to relinquish the existence of the feeling to the air. He told me he'd tried not to, wished he could stop but he couldn't and he was repeating exactly what was in my own heart, I couldn't stop loving him no matter how hard I'd tried and I'm the slayer I can try pretty damn hard. He said the words with such gentleness and longing but I could hear the hint of despair in his voice at the hopelessness of it all.
I knew what he felt but for once just once I wanted to ignore it all, to deny that he was a vampire and I a slayer and the thousands of things that stood in our way so I kissed him. I kissed him and he kissed me back and eventually we fell back on his bed, he was gentle and sweet and oh so tender, I felt as fragile as a glass bubble in his arms, as delicate as crystal, soft as silk. He was wonderful and when it was all over we fell asleep, with me tucked safely into the crook of his arm.
It's morning now, and the light of day has come back to haunt us. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, for every glorious happiness there must be excruciating sadness, I know this and yet somehow I thought maybe, just maybe I had done enough for once that I'd be able to have my one moment on my birthday. Turns out it was Angel who got his one moment and while I am deliriously happy for him that he got to feel that one moment of perfect bliss, I am now in perfect hell. There is a monster now, wearing his face, and saying my name and remembering each and every single thing we ever did together.
I have been betrayed, Jenny who I always thought of as a friend, had encouraged my watcher to date, she knew this would happen, she knew all about the curse put on Angel by the gypsies of her tribe, knew that it was possible for him to lose his soul but stayed quiet all those months. Silence I am now paying for. I have to kill him this fiend with the face of an Angel, with the face of MY Angel and yes shutting her out of the group is childish and petty but I don't feel very mature now. I feel like curling up into a ball and sobbing until the tears will no longer come and I am left with nothing but dry heaves and the memory of us. Although in the end I suppose that's exactly what I will be left with memories and ashes of another Romeo and Juliet affair that ended badly.