1When do you say Goodbye? By tigereyes320
Future fic (If everyone survives Book 7) This is a bit angsty in the beginning. This also deals with a very personal issue. I apologize in advance if I don't portray everything correctly. Please remember the characters may seem a bit OOC but after doing all they've done, and what they are going through right now. I truly believe this is how this would go down.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling. And the various Presses that release it. Doesn't in any way shape or form belong to me.
Hermione woke up, with her head slightly fuzzy. She looked around and realized she was in the hospital. As she moved her hands she encountered a head resting next to her leg. She didn't have to look down to know it was her husband, Ronald Weasley.
Sometimes it was hard for her to believe they were finally married. Many people might have thought they married quite young. But after all they had seen they were a very world weary nineteen. After spending most of what would have been their 7th year at Hogwarts hunting down horcruxes and destroying them. They were finally able to back up Harry as he destroyed Voldemort.
Hermione had of course insisted on completing her schooling. Ron and Harry had had a bet going that she would be able to test out of all her subjects. Ron had been right. While her N.E.W.T.S scores hadn't been as perfect as she would have liked they were high enough for her to get an excellent position in the Ministry, researching the Unforgivables and hopefully, one-day, finding a way around them. Harry and Ron took the honorary degrees that the ministry had given them. In addition the three of them had each been given 10,000 galleons for services toward wizarding kind.
Ron had decided he had had enough of fighting and death. He tried out as keeper for his beloved Chudley Canons. He made the team and was helping them climb the ranks. The minute he heard he got the job, he came to her work and proposed. Eight months later they had married.
Harry had decided he deserved a long and uneventful holiday. He took a month with Buckbeak and didn't tell anyone where he was. Hedwig would just bring a feather every few days so they wouldn't worry. When Harry came back it was like he was ready to be young again. If you looked into his eyes, you knew this was a young man who had seen and done too much.
Harry and Ginny had decided, in the meantime, to give their relationship a real try. It took them about six months for them to realize it wasn't working. They went their separate ways as good friends. Harry and Ginny then proceeded to date their way through all the houses of Hogwarts, including much to Ron's disgust Slytherin.
In fact it was because of them Luna Lovegood and Blaize Zabini had gotten married. Four months ago their little boy, David had been born and their feet still hadn't touched the ground.
It was after she and Ron had visited Luna and the baby, that they had decided they wanted to try for their own family. Well really it was she who had suggested it. Ron originally had wanted to wait a few years. However, as Hermione had point out, they were financially stable. They had inherited a huge rambling house in the country from a great aunt of Hermione's. She had died soon after their wedding and thought they could use it. So they had this huge house and Hermione had realized after meeting David, she didn't want to wait any longer to fill it up. Hermione had been as surprised as Ron when the next month had told them they were indeed going to be expecting a baby.
Ron for once went into a complete spiral he had Harry buy him every Muggle book on expecting a baby and parenting. He was asking his mum for advice and writing everything down. He bought all the wizarding books on pregnancy and parenting too.
They had kept it just in the family that they were going to have a baby. Hermione secretly had been picking out some names, and a little gift for the baby and Ron.
Hermione put her hands to her head; it was still so fuzzy. She remembered last night at the restaurant. She remembered coming home and going into the nursery and Ron surprising her and dancing with her in the dark. And then there was nothing.
"Hermione? You're finally awake. I was so worried." Ron said lifting his head, as he woke up from Hermione's finger playing in his hair.
"Yeah, I'm awake. What happened? I don't remember anything after dancing with you in the nursery." Hermione flinched with pain as she tried to make herself more comfortable.
Ron looked at her with the most sorrowful eyes she'd ever seen. "Mione, um, your mum's coming back from holiday a bit early. My mum is outside, she's been here all night."
"Ron, Mum and Daddy just left for holiday. Why would they be coming back so soon?"
"Hermione, when were dancing last night, you started to feel some pain. When it didn't get any better, I floo'ed my mum who met us here. Are you remembering any of this?"
"A little, the pain kept getting worse." Hermione had a moment of clarity. "No!"
Ron's voice got really thick, "I'm so sorry Mione, we lost the baby."
Hermione closed her eyes as the memory cam flooding back to her. "No!" she howled like a wounded animal. She shied away from Ron's embrace.
Molly came through the door when she heard Hermione's cry. She gathered her close as Hermione began to weep.
"Ron, why don't you give us a bit. Harry's outside take a few minutes dear." Molly said with tears in her eyes, as she rocked Hermione. "She has to grieve Ron, you can't keep her from feeling this pain."
Ron nodded as he backed out of the room. He didn't think he'd ever forget how Hermione looked at that moment. He never wanted to feel this helpless ever again. He turned and saw Harry standing in the hall. Ron also saw his brothers waiting in chairs, or leaning against the wall.
Charlie came forward, the unofficial leader, and gave his brother a hug. "Is there anything we can do Ron?"
"No, did mum tell you?"
"Yeah we know about the baby. We're so sorry." Charlie said uncomfortable in this unfamiliar territory.
"Thanks. Actually Hermione's mum is supposed to be coming back early she might not know the way to St. Mungos. If you could meet her and get her here that would be great. Hermione needs her mum."
"Then that's what we'll do." Charlie said. "How about we check out your place, make sure there is plenty of food and it's all straightened up."
"That would be great, but don't touch the nursery ok?"
"You got it. You give Hermione our love."
Ron nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Then he turned and walked toward Harry. He felt like a very old man right this minute.
"Ron, I don't know what to say." Harry said sadly, "Is she going to be okay?"
"The medi-wizards say there weren't any complications. We can have as many children as we want, except this one. There wasn't even a reason Harry. If there was a reason, maybe I could help her more. But there wasn't. Hermione didn't fall. She didn't hurt herself. She did absolutely everything her doctor said to do. The medi-wizards told us this is very common in first pregnancies before the second trimester. How do I tell her that? How can I ask her to possibly try this again, if this could be the result again?"
"I don't know mate. You two have loved each other since you were eleven. Of course it took you another five years before you woke up and did something about it. You two got past all the other stuff. Without the two of you behind me who knows what would have happened to me. Not to mention, the rest of the wizarding world. You two can get through this together. You have to let her be sad. You need to be there when she gets angry and you have to not let her shut you out. This was your baby too. I know I'm no good at this but anytime you want to talk or just need me to be there, I will. You two are my family. "
"You're family to us too. Any kids we have you're gonna be Uncle Harry to. I never felt so helpless as I did when they told me there was nothing they could do. I'm her husband I'm supposed to protect her from stuff like this."
"Ron there is some stuff you just can't control."
"How did you get so smart? "
"I googled it."
"You did what?"
"It is something to do with a computer. You might want to have Hermione give you a few lessons on the thing. Since you do have one."
"Okay. You do know you were going to be godfather right? It was the one thing we agreed on right from the start."
"I would have been honored. If you and Hermione have another baby and still want me to be godfather, I want the job."
"It might be awhile, we have to say goodbye to this one. It seems like it shouldn't be hard. The baby in the eyes of everyone else technically never existed. So why does my heart feel like it's been yanked from my chest."
"I don't know mate."
Molly came out of Hermione's room. Ron and Harry stood up as she came closer. "Harry dear you're still here. Hermione asked if you were still here if you'd go in and say hello."
"Of course Mrs. Weasley."
"Now none of that you're family. You call me Molly all right then?"
"Yes Mrs-Molly. I'll go in and say hello."
Ron watched as Harry went inside the room. He felt his mother's arms go around him and hug him close, and for a moment he was a little boy and the only thing that made the world better was being hugged by his mum. He closed his eyes and since this terrible thing happened let himself weep.
"There, there dear, it'll be all right." Molly whispered trying to comfort her son.
Harry stepped in the room and closed the door. He came closer to the bed and sat in the chair that Ron had been sitting in all night. Since he had no idea what to say he waited for Hermione to say something first.
"How long have you been here?" Hermione asked with her eyes still closed.
"Fred and George called me after Molly called them. She called the whole family. Charlie came in from Romania to see how you were doing. Even Percy stopped by. They all thought Ron and you could use some extra support."
"That was a nice thing they did. Did the world stop turning? I can't get my mind around Fred and George being nice."
"That whole family loves you Hermione. Including the twins. And No the world did not stop turning. All of them were out there. They were so worried about you and Ron. We couldn't find Ginny, so she doesn't know yet."
"She's probably at her boyfriends."
"Do you know who she's seeing? I can floo her so she can come by and see you."
"She's probably at Draco's."
"Draco Malfoy's?"
"Yep, she's been seeing him for about four months now."
"Ok, I'll floo her." Harry said carefully. Ginny with the Ferret, when did that happen?
"Harry, I haven't gotten the chance to ask Ron yet. Do they know if the baby was a girl or a boy?"
"Hermione, I don't think it's my place."
"I know Ron will tell me if I ask but I thought you might know."
"They said it was a little girl."
"Ron really wanted this baby to be a girl. Said he needed to be outvoted by two know-it-alls. I wish I knew what happened. Harry, I did everything I was supposed to do. I didn't over exert myself; I ate what I was supposed to eat. I rested when I was supposed to. I just don't understand why this happened."
"I don't think anyone does. This was not your fault. It would kill Ron if for one minute you thought this was your fault. This was just a horrible circumstance. No one is at fault. I heard the doctors tell Ron this sometimes just happens. It's no ones fault."
"How's he doing?"
"About as good as you. I know you are hurting about losing the baby, but just remember Ron is hurting too. Now I'm going to go. I want you to rest. I'll stop by your place when you get home and we'll have a good visit."
"Ok. You take good care of yourself and who ever the flavor of the month is."
"Oh it's been the same flavor for two months now."
"Harry Potter is seeing the same girl for two months in a row and the papers haven't announced the engagement yet? Is Rita on holiday or better yet, dead?"
"They don't know, we've been keeping it covert. Per her request."
"Who is it?"
"I don't think so."
"Harry!"
"If I tell you, you have to promise not to screech."
"I promise."
"It's Pansy."
"Pansy? We don't know a -NO! Pansy Parkinson?" Hermione's eyes got wide at the idea of Harry with Pug-faced Parkinson.
Harry nodded with a secret smile.
Hermione recognized the smile first. It was the same smile Ron had whenever he talked about her. She also saw on Lupin's and Arthur's face as well when they spoke of their wives. "I know she survived a great deal during the war, and people can change. You must see something very special in her."
"That's very big of you Hermione considering I know she isn't your favorite person. She can still be snarky. She treats me like a man, not a God. I really like that."
"Then I guess you'd better bring her to the next family dinner. I know Ginny is planning on bringing Draco."
"I don't think the wizarding world is ready for a Malfoy and a Weasley to be together."
"How about a Potter and a Parkinson?"
"We aren't there yet?"
"But you're thinking about it?"
"I want what my two best friends have. I'll come by soon. I'll also floo Ginny to let her know."
"Thank you Harry. Can you send Ron back in?"
"Of course I will." Harry leaned over and kissed Hermione on the forehead and turned and left the room.
Harry walked over to where Ron sat. "Hey Ron, Hermione's asking for you. I'm going to find Ginny and when you bring Hermione home, I'll come by for another visit, if you want I'll pick up dinner for all of us."
"That would be great Harry. I'll talk to you later. I want to see to Hermione for right now."
"I'll talk to you soon."
Ron turned away and entered his wife's hospital room. He was a bit surprised to see her sitting up in bed and scribbling frantically on a pad of paper she found. "Hey you're supposed to be resting."
"If you, Molly, and my mum have anything to say about it I'll be resting for at least a week or two. Besides I wanted to write a few ideas down, and go over them with you if that's okay."
"Sure what ever you want." Ron said as he pulled up the chair. "What do you want to go over?"
"I know the baby was supposed to be a girl. I'd like to give her a name and do something. I'm not asking for a service or anything, but maybe we could plant a tree for her or something. What do you think?"
"I think whatever you want to do is fine. I like the idea of naming her, makes her more real, and if we ever have another baby and it happens to be a girl, she won't ever think we gave her, her sisters name."
"You still want to try to have a baby?"
"Of course I want a child with you, we can't replace this one, but when you're ready, when we're ready we can try again. The doctor's say there is no reason why if we want another baby, we won't carry the baby to term."
"I'd still like a baby."
"Then we'll see how you feel in a few months, okay?"
"Okay"
"So what are we going to name this little one? Do you want to go Shakespeare like your mum did?"
"Ron you said Shakespeare right?"
"I've been practicing with Harry, didn't want the little one to be embarrassed by her dad now did I?" Ron ducked his head remembering how hard he had worked with Harry on some of his muggle pronunciations.
"She never would have been embarrassed by you." Hermione said touched that he would do this for his child.
"Yeah well, I learned it anyways."
"What do you think of Sara?"
"Sara Weasley I like it. How about Jane for her middle name?"
"Like mine."
"Yep or we could change the spelling to J-A-Y-N-E?"
"Sara Jayne Weasley. It's perfect."
"Okay so she has a name, what tree are we going to plant for her?"
"I don't know what do you think?"
"How about a Holly tree, they grow really nice and every Christmas we would be able to bring in branches from the tree."
"I like that. We could plant it in the back corner of the back yard, behind the bench that we had put there."
"I'll go out and find one and then sometime next week, we'll have the family over and we'll plant Sara's tree. Now I want you to get some rest. I'm going to go home take a shower and I'll be back later this afternoon. Your mum should be here in about an hour. Do you want me to bring you anything from home?"
"Yes could you bring me the red pajamas and bathrobe you got me, my toothbrush, and my hairbrush."
"All right. I'll be back in a couple of hours. You close your eyes and rest. I love you"
"I love you too, Ron."
Hermione watched him as he left the room, and let her eyes drift close for some much-needed rest.
A few hours later
Ron got back to the hospital and as he walked down the hallway, with Hermione's bag, he heard voices coming all the way down the hall. As he grew closer he recognized his brothers' voices and Ginny's voice getting louder as well. As he reached Hermione's door he recognized his brothers surrounding a tall blonde.
"What are you doing? Hermione is in that room. She just lost-she doesn't need to hear you arguing out here."
"Ron! Ginny arrived with the ferret. That's why she couldn't be here last night."
"Ginny you're seeing Malfoy?"
"Yes I have been seeing him for months."
Ron ran a hand through his hair and made a decision. "Ginny can you take this bag into Hermione and help her get comfortable. I need to ask Malfoy here for a favor."
It was hard for a moment to see who was more stunned, the entire Weasley clan or Draco.
"Sure Ron, give us a few minutes and she'll be ready to see you." Ginny said as she headed into Hermione's room. She mouthed "Be Nice!" to Draco.
Draco nodded imperceptibly at Ginny.
"You wanted to talk to me Weasley?"
"Over here." Ron just told himself this was for Hermione. "Look you and I are never going to get along. You are in no way good enough for my sister, but there isn't a man who is. That would include Harry. But she's an adult and I can't tell her what to do. Between you and me right here and now, if you ever cause her one moment of heartache, the Malfoy line will end with you. Because when my brothers and I are through with you, the possibility of you siring children will be a fond distant memory, you got it? Are we clear on that matter?"
"Crystal. Was that it?"
"Can any of your contacts get me a holly tree? I called everywhere and no one has them."
"You want a holy tree?"
"Hermione and I have named the baby and we want to plant a tree for her. Hermione wants a holly tree. I figured you would have enough connections to find us one. I'll pay whatever price they want. I just need it for her. Can-Will you help me?"
"So you threaten me in one moment and ask for a favor the next?"
"The two have nothing to do with each other, one is about my sister, the other is my wife."
Draco nodded, "Give me 24 hours and I'll get you your tree. I'm assuming you want to plant it at your house."
"Yeah we do."
"Consider it done. I'll owl you when I receive it. If you don't mind me asking what name did you give her?"
"Sara Jayne Weasley. No h on the Sara and we added a y to Jayne."
"Pretty name. I never liked you two, and I doubt we'll ever be the best of friends, but I am sorry about the baby. Is Gran-Hermione going to be ok?"
"Eventually, we both will. The medi-wizards say she'll be fine."
"She should be very careful, if she feels at all off, she shouldn't ignore it. Also keep an eye out for any kind of fever. If any of that pops up get her to the hospital right away, even if it's a muggle one. It's very important."
"How do you know about this kind of stuff?"
"My mother wrote about it after I was born she miscarried a child, my father took her somewhere to heal, and she developed a fever. He wouldn't take her anywhere muggle-oriented."
"What happened?"
"When she tried to have another child, it was impossible, the fever caused a serious problem. There could be no more children for her. She never really forgave my father for that."
"I'll make sure we keep a close eye on her. Thank you. Why are you with my sister? To get back at me or Harry?"
"Believe it or not no. I thought about it. What a way to drive you nuts. But having one dinner with her changed everything. She refuses to take my crap. I get snarky she gets snarky right back. She has no respect for who I am."
"Oh you mean, you, the guy she out hexed her fourth year."
"Well that could be part of it. Did you hear who Potter's new bird is?"
"No, who is it?"
"Pansy."
"Parkinson? Really that's going to be different for the wizarding world. You don't have a problem with that?"
"I can't. Pansy had it really bad our 7th year. Potter helps her get past that. Since he can do that, and she keeps him humble. I'm fine with it."
"How serious is it with you and Gin? We're not talking marriage are we?"
"If I thought she'd have me, yes. Right now I need to get to know your family, because her family is heart. I don't get along with all of you; I'd be ripping her heart out of her chest making her choose. My plan is to marry her."
"Well I guess I won't have to worry about you getting a big head with Ginny around."
"Go in and see your wife. I have a few owls to send. I'll be in touch tomorrow."
"Thanks," Ron said as he turned toward the hospital room.
A few weeks later
Hermione was sitting out on the deck that looked out into her backyard. She was sitting up in one of the lounge chairs her parents had gotten them as a wedding gift. Ron had just been out getting her a cup of tea, and covering her with a light blanket. She looked at the holly tree sapling that now was behind their wrought iron bench. The tree would grow and in a few years will shade the bench that one day her brothers and sisters would play around. Hermione had to ask herself if she would always feel this horrible emptiness.
"Granger?" Draco asked as he walked out on their deck.
"You better not let Ginny hear you call me that. You'll be out of her good graces for at least a week."
"First of all she and Pansy are keeping your husband company. Second, are you going to deny me all my fun?" Draco said as he stepped out on the deck.
"Yes. Sounds like I have a house-full. What are you doing here Draco?"
"Ginny, Pansy, and I thought you and Weaselbee could use a little company. We really liked your idea of remembering the little one. So we came up with this." Draco handed her a large gold envelope.
"What is it?"
"It's a muggle thing that Ginny found out about it. You name a star after or for someone. Then they give you a certificate and a star chart to show you exactly where the star is. Ginny, Pansy, and I got one for Sara."
"Draco that is one of the sweetest things I've ever heard of. Harry is donating some money to the orphanage in her name. This is so incredible. Thank you."
"Your welcome. This does not mean I like you."
"I know. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"How do you think Ron is doing? I try to let him talk but he doesn't want to. I'm miserable because of this emptiness that's inside me. It feels like it won't ever go away or be filled. I'm trying really hard to make sure I don't ignore him or make him feel like I blame him, but sometimes I feel like such a failure."
"You feel like a failure? Why? You did nothing wrong."
"I think it's a woman thing."
"Listen as far as I know Ron is okay. He is talking about it maybe because you're so raw he feels he can't talk to you yet. This isn't easy on either of you. You need time, give it to yourself."
"I guess I'll have to say goodbye to soon won't I?"
"Yes you will. I have another surprise for you in that envelope. I didn't want the little one to be lonely. So I reserved enough stars around her so as the babies are born into the Weasley clan, we can add more names. You can look up in the sky and know she is safe. You'll also know that she would want you and Ron to get on with your lives. How else is she supposed to get her siblings? Just think about it. It's fine to grieve, just don't wallow."
"Draco that hardly sounds like you."
"It isn't, but Pansy didn't think you'd take the advice from her."
"This family is growing by leaps and bounds. You two are some fresh blood into this Gryffindor group."
"Yes it is. I'll let myself out."
"Ok," Hermione went back to staring at the tree.
A six months later
Hermione was sitting on her iron bench as she watched the barbecue the Weasley clan was holding. With Harry, Pansy, Blaise, Luna and their son David. Draco was now considered part of the family as he had asked Ginny to marry him this past weekend. Harry was still trying to get Pansy to marry him, even though she was now four months pregnant with twins. She kept turning him down saying he didn't really want to marry her he just wanted his children. It was quite funny to see her have him jumping through hoops.
"What are you smiling at wife?"
"Our large and varied family. We're going to have a lot of babies being born in the next year. I would be surprised if this time next year Ginny has a baby or is pregnant with one."
"Hermione please, it's bad enough she's marrying the ferret, don't put that picture in my head." Ron said as he leaned over to give her a long sweet kiss. "How are you?"
"I'm doing really well. Ron, I think I'm ready."
"Ready for what?"
"I'm ready to try and start our family again. I went to the doctor to make sure that everything was still ok. They said anytime we wanted to we could start trying. So how about tonight when everyone leaves you make a baby with your wife."
"That sounds really good."
"Some times you have to know when to say good bye."
A nine months later
Hermione walked out to Sara's tree. "Hello Sara, I know I haven't spoken with you for quite some time. Your Daddy and I have been busy getting ready for the arrival of your baby brother. He should be arriving in about a week. You have more cousins then you know what to do with. It seems as if when I lost you, your uncles decided they had been neglectful in giving your grandmother grandchildren. Your Aunt Ginny is pregnant, she's due in about three months, and Draco all but follows her around with a pillow. Your Uncle Harry is over the moon with his five-month-old twin girls. Pansy finally agreed to marry him while she was in labor. Pansy surprised him by naming the girls after his parents, Lily and Jamie. She's a good mother to them, and Slytherin or not she's even a decent person. I'm going to trust little one to look over this family and be our guardian angel. We lost you before we ever had you, but you touched everybody. We'll miss seeing you grow up. I hope you know that however many children we have, you will always occupy a place in our hearts. We learned how say goodbye to you and appreciate you for the gift you were. You know I think your baby brother wants to make his arrival a bit early. I'll bring him and any other children we have out here and they will know that you existed and you were loved. Good-bye Sara.