A/N: So I wrote a parody of Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep on my AO3 account. S'all right, I guess...
Disclaimer: What if Kingdom Hearts characters watched a lot of Mel Brooks's works?
"So, Ventus," said Master Xehanort, smirking. "At last, I have you in my clutches, to have my way with you, the way I want to."
"No! No, please, leave me alone!"
"No, you are mine!" Master Xehanort summoned his Keyblade.
"Not so fast, Master!"
"Terra!" Master Xehanort yelled in shock.
"Yes, it's me! I'm here to save my little brother! Hey, bro!"
"Now you are going to die!" Master Xehanort slew Terra where he stood.
"OW! Ughh…oh…"
"Hey, what'd you do to my brothers/possible love interests it's not a hundred percent clear?!"
"The same thing I'm going to do to you, bitch tits!" Master Xehanort easily disposed of Aqua as well.
"OW!"
"And you too, Eraqus!" This was all too easy.
"Oh! Ow!"
"Now, Ventus," Master Xehanort turned to his target in satisfaction. "At last, we are alone!"
"Oh, no! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, leave me alone! Yet…I find you strangely alluring."
"Of course you do!" Master Xehanort cackled. "Young men whose hearts I've literally ripped in half are often attracted to darkness, and power, and I have both!" He leered at Ventus. "And you know it!"
"Oh, leave me alone!"
"No!" Master Xehanort raised his Keyblade. "Submit to me!"
"No, no, yes, no, no, yes, yea—oh!"
Master Xehanort laughed.
"Ohhhh…You're Keyblade's so big…"
"Master Xehanort!" cried Vanitas, barging into the cave they were hiding in at the Keyblade Graveyard.
"WHAT?!" shouted Master Xehanort in a sudden panic.
"All three of them are on their way now, Master!" Vanitas reported.
"KNOCK ON THE WALL, KNOCK NEXT TIME!" bellowed Master Xehanort in a voice that promised pain in the near future.
"Yes, Master!" said Vanitas.
"…Did you see anything?!" Master Xehanort asked hesitantly.
"No, Master!" Vanitas was quick to reassure him. "I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!"
"GOOD!"