Not Just Kinda

Chapter 1

Never Just Kinda

AN: I couldn't just let it end after tonight's episode I had to fix it where they left off was not bad just needed more added to it and few things taken out and if you watched you know what I'm talking about. It's a one shot so enjoy.

Derek was sitting in his truck debating on what to do he knew that saying I kind of love you was not what he'd wanted to say, he loved his best friend, he loved her more than he even knew most days. I kind of love you was not going to cut it. JJ had offered to drive her home, but Pen had taken a rain check wanting to get some coffee then she'd get cab home; however that was not going to happen. He wasn't letting her go alone, that was why he was sitting in his truck debating on going inside or waiting till she came out.

"You know watching me have coffee instead of coming inside is bordering on stalking," Penelope said, "And I never thought you'd about jump out your skin just by seeing me, you Derek Morgan are getting sloppy," she teased.

"When did you leave?" he asked before she shut the door getting inside.

"I saw you when I went inside, I thought I'd give it about five seconds, I slipped out the side and walked around, I do know how to get the slip on you sometimes, hot stuff," Pen said, "After all, you are the one that stayed at my apartment just last week and woke up on the couch trying to figure out how I got out the apartment without waking you," she said.

"I guess I'll have to step up my awareness since I gotta keep a good eye on you from now on," Derek said, "Where too, home, or my place?" he asked.

"Diner booth in the back, you and me coffee," Penelope said, "Since I really don't want to go home to an empty apartment tonight, and I don't want to hear you and Jackie fighting," she said.

"Jackie's history, nobody calls my best friend a bitch, I don't care who they are," Derek said, "When did you break up with Rick?" he asked.

"Week ago, before we left for Alaska, he wanted me to quiet I said no, he left," Pen said, "Guess I'm supposed to be alone forever, six guys in the past three years and they all leave, that doesn't say doom I don't know what does," she said.

"Since we're being honest here, Jackie called you a bitch because I already dumped her before you showed up," Derek said, "There's this person I really like but I don't know how to tell her and I keep screwing it up," he said.

"How bad is it?" Pen asked looking over at him, and she wished she'd kept looking forward, because she saw what she saw in herself every morning, "That bad huh?" She asked.

"It's not bad, I just wish I could said this before now," he said turning to face her better locking the doors just in case she tried to run, he needed to tell her and now was the best time.

"Derek what's going on?" she asked.

"I wasn't lying about what I said I am always going to protect you, but there is this thing, princess, I don't kinda love you," Derek said, "I love you, I've loved you for so long, and I keep hiding behind the what if's on this going down hill but I can't do that any more, not after this last case, you ran right for that guy, and you got away, but I kept thinking you didn't, and I can't sleep knowing that you're not safe," he said.

"Derek," Pen said little nervous.

"I love you Penelope, and I don't want to just be your best friend any more I can't, I hope I'm not wrong here, but I can see it in you too, and I gotta know, if I wasn't here would you told Rick no?" he asked looking into her eyes.

Penelope wasn't expecting this, but she knew he wasn't wrong, "No," she said looking up, "I said no because I don't just kinda love you either, and I didn't want to take the risk of saying I love you and you not say it back," Pen said, "I left Rick before he asked me to go with him, it was his last ditch effort to change my mind, but I couldn't do it, I wanted to ask you for so long if you'd go out with me, or if what you said two years ago was real, if you really did love me in the not platonic way," she said.

Derek moved closer to her best he could in the truck, pulling her into his arms, "I've loved you longer than that, I was just too dumb to say it," he said, "When you told me about you running straight for that guy, it scared the hell out of me, because I kept seeing the same thing over and over, it wasn't one body," he said holding her trying to make sure she was still there, "I lost you too, and I can't lose you, baby girl, without you I got nothing, you keep me sane with everything I see you're the one that keeps me sane," he said letting his own tears fall knowing he almost lost her.

"You keep me sane too," Pen said taking a deep breath, "You've always kept me sane, made me laugh when I wanted to cry, I help you all with humor, but without you around, I don't think I'd be here," Pen confessed, "I keep thinking back to last year, when you almost died, I still have the nightmares that you never came back, that I heard you die, and I never got to say that I loved you," she cried, "I never meant to go towards the unsub, I didn't plan it, the guy was dying and I thought I could help, I didn't think," she said.

Derek pulled back a little wiping her tears away, "I didn't think either then, not about myself or what you'd do without me, I was thinking about saving the other half of our team, and ever who was in that hospital," Derek said, "I jumped out of that ambulance and all I could think about was you, I wanted to go to you and tell you I loved you, but you had Rick, it wouldn't work," he said.

"I would have let I would have let everything go if you'd just told me that, because I wanted you, and I want you now, I know that I'm wild and crazy, and I'm a motor mouth and hardheaded woman that don't know when to stop talking," Penelope said.

"I'm Suborn and reckless, I don't listen, don't know when to back down," Derek said.

"But I love you, Derek, and not just kinda either," Pen said.

"I love you too, Penelope, not the friends love or kinda, I love you," Derek said before he kissed her.

Pen wasn't sure what to do at first she hadn't expected him to kiss her, but she didn't pull away she pulled him closer kissing him back with the same about of passion he had for her. She moaned holding to him letting him explore her mouth and lips with his tongue as she did the same.

Derek finally pulled away needing air, but he didn't want to, "Your place or mine?" he asked.

"It's Friday, and we got the whole weekend and part the week off," Pen said, "Let's get some clothes for me and go to your house, I'm pretty sure that JJ and Will won't mind Clooney another night," she said running her hands over his face, "Because, I think I need you now, I've waited too long," she said kissing him again.

"My place it is," Derek said before moving back over and cranking the truck and driving off.

It was almost two hours before they got to Derek's place, after stopping to kiss each other more times than they could count at Pen's apartment before leaving and driving the half hour to his place after he stopped at JJ's and got Clooney after changing his mind on coming back in the morning.

Penelope was sitting on the couch beside him cuddling up, with her head on his chest and he had his arm around her holding her hand. "You know us talking some more actually requires talking right?" Pen finally asked him.

"I know," Derek said, "But I got a better idea," he said cutting the TV off which they weren't even watching and tossing the remote in the lounger before standing up, "Come on baby girl, we're going to bed," he said taking her hand, and this time instead of leading her to the normal guest room which she'd always slept in after the time she'd woken up tangled up in his side almost completely on top of him.

She'd claimed she needed more bed, but he'd known what was wrong, he'd just let her go and let the moment pass again, but not this time. Derek lead her to his bedroom and closed the door, "Derek," she said, but he moved so she was against the door and she couldn't go anywhere.

"I love you, baby girl, loved you for a long time, and I'm done waiting around," Derek said, "I want you, I want to be your man," he said running his hand over her face tilting her chin up, "I want to protect you from everything that you see, and will see, and I want to show you that I will always be here, I'm not running, baby girl, I'm here to stay," he said before he claimed her mouth cover her lips with his and holding her face in his hand as he did so while the other one pulled her closer.

"Derek," Pen moaned into the kiss letting her arms go up wrapping around his neck, "I want to be your woman too," She said pulling away, "I want everything you just said, and I'm done running away from it too, I'm not going anywhere," She replied looking up at him hoping that her eyes told him everything that he wanted to know and backed up what she'd said.

Derek walked them backwards to his bed letting her sit down first and he kissed her again, laying down beside her on the bed, just kissing her and moving his hands up and down her sides, before slipping them under her shirt letting his hand touch her bare skin.

Penelope moaned feeling his hand against her skin, she'd known what if felt like, but this was different and she could tell, just by the way he touched her, that he really did love her, and it wasn't some dream she'd wake up from again. She sat up looking down at him and went for her shirt before pulling it up and off tossing it away.

Derek sat up looking into her eyes before he kissed her again letting his mouth move from her lips down her neck to her shoulders leaving butterfly kisses along the way moving her bra straps down off her shoulders, "You're beautiful," he whispered in her ear nipping the lobe softly before undoing her bra and tossing it away as well.

Pen moaned feeling his hand come up to the side of her breast cupping it running his thumb over the nipple, she whimpered moving farther into his hand as he laid them back down rolling her on her back moving his hands over her body. She was trying to relax, but still felt like she was going to wake up any second and find everything was a dream.

"You're not dreaming, baby girl, I'm here and I'm not leaving you," Derek said as if he knew she was scared.

"You got too many clothes on," Pen said swallowing before she reached for his shirt pulling it off, "That's better," she said.

Derek gave her a smile before moving down taking hold of the skirt she was wearing and pulling it off, "You are a naughty girl, no panties," Derek said looking up at her, "How long?" he asked leaning down.

"My apartment," Pen breathed out watching where Derek was at, it had been couple years since she'd had anybody there besides sex, Rick had never been patient enough, he'd wanted it right then.

Derek didn't reply instead he moved his hands up her legs to her thighs before placing kisses there moving farther in till he got to where he wanted to be, and instead of going slow like he knew she'd love and crave he opened her lips up to his view seeing the juices dripping out and running down her opening. He covered her mound with his lips and stuck his tongue out licking her clit with one long lick.

"Derek," She about screamed arching up off the bed and grabbing the sheets.

"Damn, baby girl," he moaned holding her folds open as he continued licking at her clit making cries of pleasure come from her mouth along with his name, he couldn't get enough of it, she was feeding his craving inside, and her words were going straight to his hardening erection.

Penelope moaned feeling her body start to go over and she wanted to last longer, but she knew it wasn't possible, not with Derek Morgan's tongue between her legs and his hands on her hips.

"Cum for me baby girl," He said blowing against her mound making her cry out sending her over into that last moment before he buried his face against her again and took her clit into his mouth and pulled. She went over grabbing the head board, and words wouldn't even come out of her mouth she was so far gone.

Derek moved up her body taking his jeans and boxers off, "Derek," She moaned feeling him so close, "Please," she moaned again wanting him inside now.

"I love you so much, Penelope," Derek said before he thrust inside her finally making her his, marking her with his body, "Fuck, so damn good," he moaned feeling her clinching around him sending them both over as she squeezed her walls around him.

"Love you too, Derek," Pen whimpered holding to him as he moved inside her until they were both going over again, this time together, claiming the other as theirs and becoming whole.

Penelope woke up the next morning finding Derek watching her, "Morning Princess," he said with a smile.

"I'll show you a good morning, hot stuff," She replied before kissing him, "Thank you for last night," she said, "I'm glad we finally stopped running from what we wanted, I don't' think I could have made it through last night without you here," she said, "I guess, I'm more than scared, I'm terrified and not just of what could happened to me, but you too, if you hadn't made it out last year, I love you Derek, and you are my life, my best friend and after last night my boyfriend," She said.

"If you go out in that field again, and I know you will, don't you dare do that again, I can't lose you Penelope, you're my best friend, my baby girl, and my girlfriend," Derek said kissing her, "I need you around, not buried in the ground or killed," he said.

"Agreed, and if we can't we can just yell at each other storm off then make up before confessing that we really do love each other again," She said before they both started laughing.

Derek knew he had gotten a third chance or fifth by now, this time he wasn't blowing it. Pen had the same chance, and she knew it wasn't going to be wasted, she had what she wanted finally Derek Morgan, and he had her.

THE END

AN: Inspired by tonight's episode I admit I squealed like a girl when they both said I kind of love you. So close now the directors and writers need to add more and I can be happy for life. That hug was wonderful and him helping her afterwards rocked.