I hate those days where you wake up and instantly think to yourself, "today is going to be rubbish". Then as you predicted everything following that assumption turns out bad. Sometimes I think that those 6 little words that you utter to yourself under your breath whilst listening to the rain, it will be inevitably raining on these days, form into some kind of spell or hex casting this opinion over the following hours. Either that or people can sense that you are in a bad mood and purposely make things worse. I choose to go with the former, other wise I risk turning into a hermit, crawling out from under my rock once a year at most, convincing myself that my own company is much superior to any other.
Actually that prospect doesn't seem to bad when you think about it. Days spent not having to please anyone or worrying about how they feel or, more importantly, how you have made them feel because of some snide unthought-about comment which you made in the spur of the moment not realising this little, what you thought, insignificant comment, actually rocked the whole foundations on which your friendship was apparently built. Of course you didn't realise about this rocky foundation because no one seemed to warn you that the slightest upset could break out into World War 3. Maybe I am incredibly naïve but hey, what can you do, when it all comes down to it the friendships that will mean the most aren't precariously hanging of the cliff edge with the rocks slipping away to the darkness below. They are firmly planted on hard ground which will never budge.
Although this doesn't really effect me. My friends have long gone, and the ones I keep will be with me for eternity, when you are together for that long you don't want to let little things upset you because you only have to bear it for that much longer.
My family don't know I am alive. Well depends which family I mean. The one is dead. Long buried and apart from me, they are long forgotten. The second on the other hand, will never die, but they do not know that I walk the way the do and that I live a life I would never have a imagined for myself and one which most of them would never have wanted for me. For it is one of death and destruction, above all deception, one which I have long strived to leave behind. However, that only endangers the family who live untouched because of their lack to knowledge. Protected by their ignorance. Well this is how I have lived up until now. Up until the moment someone found out about me. The moment that whole family, who I fought to protect, found out about me. Up until them came to the very place I have been trying to keep them away from. Up until they came to rescue me.