I've gotten a strange addiction to fanfics staring the Marauders. I will not go possessive and say any of them are mine…
But I will go possessive to the fact that this plot is mine. :3
Authoress: Chibi Amo
Title: When the Cookies Crumble
Genres: Humor, Parody
Summery: Moony has a soft side for cookies, Padfoot has an obsession with cookies, and Prongs will go to any lengths for revenge when someone ravages his cookies, leaving Wormtail and the students of Hogwarts as the spectators. When Sirius and Remus sneak into James's private cookie stash, James is CONFIDENT to find the evil cookie thief.
If only Moony and Padfoot had known he'd be this determined…
Rating: T/ PG-13
Inspiration: After witnessing my sixteen-year-old male cousin and his friends fighting over the loss of everything from tukes to slices of cake, I figured 'Why wouldn't the marauders do the same?' Of course, there are probably a million and one reasons as to why they wouldn't, but I'm just being ficish here. My older cousin also has a private cookie stash, and he's quite protective of it -.-;; This fanfic's simply written for FUN, nothing to be taken seriously.
Disclaimer: I will write this once, and only once. I do not own Harry Potter, nor shall I ever own it. It is property of J.K Rowling
Enjoy.
When the Cookies Crumble
Chapter 1:
Cookie Thief
The normally bustling and busy halls of Hogwarts were not so bustling and busy for the time being. It was late, very late indeed. 1:37AM to be precise, and in the almost deserted Gryffindor common room sat two young teenaged boys, determinedly bent over their homework, pausing only to replenish their quills with ink before scribbling down their work once again.
And they remained that way for a good hour or so, stretching and yawning occasionally. It wasn't until the clock in the common room read 2:04AM that one of them, a handsome black haired youth, put his quill down.
"Blimey… I thought I'd never finish. One of these days I have to have a chat with Slughorn about the massive piles of homework he's been giving us."
The other one sitting across from him put down his quill as well, and arched an eyebrow "Just how do you expect to go about that Padfoot?"
"Oh I have my ways Moony…"
"And knowing you, they're illegal."
"Oh come off it mate, rules are meant to be broken!"
"Sirius, you are a madman."
Groooooowl
Both boys blinked. The one who was supposedly named "Sirius" had his stomach lurch, and growl embarrassingly loud.
"Figure we could sneak into the kitchens?" Sirius asked hopefully.
"I'm just as hungry as you Padfoot, but it's much too late, and I'm way too exhausted."
"Damn… Well, any bright ideas Remus?"
Silence…
"… James's private cookie stash."
"WHAT!"
"Keep it down! It's the only plausible solution I see right now."
"Plausible and a death wish all rolled into one. I thought you were the SENSIBLE one Moony!"
"I am, which I why I'm suggesting—"
"There is nothing sensible about sneaking into Prongs's cookie stash! And you called ME a madman…"
"And let me guess… You're going to do it anyways?"
"Damn straight!"
"… Madman."
-.-
Soon, the two teen males were sitting in front of the fire, munching upon James's double chocolate peanut-butter chip cookies.
"I'll never understand" Sirius said through a mouthful of cookie "Why Prongs doesn't share these delicacies with us."
"Probably because he knows you'll devour them all" Remus said airily.
"Moony, I only ate eight—" Sirius was cut off by Remus's next retort.
"ATE? You call that manner of—whatever you were doing- EATING?"
"You saw me! I bite. I chew. I swallow."
"Correction, you stuffed it in your mouth and swallowed it so fast I'm surprised you even got a chance to TASTE it."
"Shut up before I stick a cookie up your arse—"
Again, Sirius was cut off. But this was only because footsteps were coming towards the portrait hole. The two looked at each other frantically, before scampering up the stairs into the sixth-year dormitories.
Now was no time to get caught by McGonagall.
-.-
The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and all was right with the world… Outside anyways.
Sirius and Remus were awoken in the early hours of the morning by a cry of outrage. Sirius tumbled and tossed in alarm, falling out of his bed and landing rather painfully on the floor, whereas Remus bolted up in shock, hair completely wild (as it always was in the morning).
"Who's been attacked?" Sirius asked groggily.
"My cookies!" The teen boy who'd cried out yelped. His eyes were hazel, and he had circular glasses perched upon his nose in a way that made him seem inquisitive, and intelligent. His black hair, however, was a madhouse to state mildly.
"… Your cookies were attacked, Prongs?" Remus was obviously not awake just yet…
"No you dolt! The cookies my mum sent me, the ones I was supposed to give to Evans! They've vanished!" He was starting to get a bit beside himself.
Lily Evans was the object of his affections… And she disliked him just about as much as a sixteen-year-old-girl CAN dislike someone. Which was probably why he struggled so much to be nice to her… They were too used to the love-hate thing (that was how James put it anyways.)
Sirius and Remus exchanged glances "… Maybe some rampant spell went wrong?" Sirius said timidly.
James looked at him as if he was some kind of idiot. "No mates, I think we're dealing with thievery."
"Well… Not much we can do about it is there?" Remus asked "The cookies are probably long gone by now."
"But I CAN and WILL get my revenge." James hissed "Just wait until I find them… Just WAIT."
"We'd better get downstairs if we want any breakfast." Remus said hurriedly.
"Moony's right! See you then chaps!" Sirius rushed off to the bathrooms, wanting to get his half-guilty conscious away from James.
-.-
James cooled down a bit (read: a minuscule bit) as they walked down to breakfast. Sirius and Remus were keeping a bit of there distance, and Peter didn't seem to notice anything.
As James sat down, he noticed who was sitting across from him, and smiled the smile that had melted the hearts of many of the girls at Hogwarts.
"Morning Evans." He spoke in a voice which he ultimately though deeper, and much more mature, not to mention alluring.
The red-headed girl across from him remained unfazed as she finished her toast. Her green eyes stonily glared at him as she stood to leave the table.
That was when he noticed, and Remus and Sirius were SHOCKED at this, Lily actually smiled. James's heart leapt, until he realized…
Lily was not looking at him. Rather, she was looking at someone BEHIND him.
"Lily?" James heard a voice timidly tremble behind him. He turned around.
But of course; Lily's little friend. She had glasses so big that they put Trelawney's to shame, magnifying dazed eyes with a look of a person who daydreamed often, and had a very skinny, pinched look of someone who was faintly ill. In other words, she wasn't very intimidating at all.
She pushed her glasses back up onto her nose on her tan-ish face and blinked.
"Sorry Lily—Am I interrupting something?" Her voice made it sound as if she always had a cold.
"No, of course not Ami! Let's get going…"
And with that, James watched the object of his affections leave with (possibly) the looniest girl in the school. Ami Destonav.
Well… Looking at the guy Ami dated—
You'd have to be loony to go out with Kenneth Lovegood (!).
END
Yes, Kenneth Lovegood and Ami Destonav. Two original characters created as Luna Lovegood's parents.
Anyways, that's it for now.
R&R
-Chibi Amo