Chapter 1 - All I Really Want For Christmas
Gail had pulled out all the stops to make sure that this would be the biggest, most spectacular Christmas celebration that any of them had ever had. But this time, Cas had been much more prepared for the onslaught. For one thing, they had been able to start their preparations earlier this year, and for another, Gail wasn't above asking him to use his Godly powers to get some things done. Cas had also asked for volunteers from the ranks of the Academy students to help with various tasks, and they were only too glad to assist the Almighty. Those sorts of activities were a lot more preferable than learning to fight, and to kill.
Before they had the family celebration at their house, though, Gail had persuaded Cas to have a party in Heaven, too, somewhat akin to an office party. She had planned some games, and some music. They'd brought in a karaoke machine, and many of the Angels were dancing. Since they didn't eat or drink, she'd figured a lot of the younger ones would enjoy that. Cas had given a speech at her urging, and it had been met with a very enthusiastic response.
The couple had stayed for a while, and then they had slipped out discreetly, leaving the Angels to enjoy themselves. They went to their house on Earth, where Cas had secretly gone when Gail had been talking to some of the Academy recruits at the party. He should make the rounds, Cas had told her. Technically, he was Heaven's boss, and he wanted to make sure that he personally wished everyone a Merry Christmas. Gail had understood, of course. And Cas had meant what he'd said, but he'd also taken an extra couple of minutes to sneak over to their house and leave Gail her surprise.
As soon as they'd winked into the house, Gail had started to laugh. Cas had hung sprigs of mistletoe all over the house.
"Since we have everyone coming here tomorrow, I thought we might have our own celebration here tonight," Cas had told her.
Gail had turned to him, smiling. Sounded good to her. Ever since they'd hosted the Never Have I Ever party here at the house back in November, both of them had been acutely aware of the clock ticking on their marriage. Everyone was going to gather here for a joyous Christmas celebration, but Cas and Gail were also going to use the opportunity to tell everyone about what was going on, and what would have to happen in the New Year.
But until then, they had decided that they were going to spend all of their remaining time together and be as romantic with each other as possible during that time. So they had spent the evening before Christmas Eve Day christening just about every clump of mistletoe in the place.
The family fun began when Sam and Dean arrived Christmas Eve Day. Many of the Angels were already there, and Gail had conspired to have a laugh at Dean's expense. So as soon as the brothers walked in the door, Gail said, "Sam, I'm glad you're here. Liz and I were looking online for that recipe, but we can't find it."
"It's under the 'healthier living' section," Sam said, flashing her a quick grin behind Dean's back.
"Wait, what?" Dean said suspiciously. "'Healthier living'? What kind of b.s. is that? It's Christmas!"
"Here, give me your coats," Gail said, trying to keep a straight face. As the brothers shrugged them off, Liz came down the hallway. "Oh, good, Sam's here," Gail's Angel friend said. "The PETA website has about ten recipes for tofu turkey. You're going to have to help us pick the best one."
"PETA? Tofu?" Dean said angrily. "What the hell, Gail? You'd better be kidding me about this!"
"What's the matter, Dean?" Liz asked him in an innocent tone. "We talked about it, and we decided it was cruel to eat turkey."
"Yeah, Dean," Sam said to his brother earnestly. "There are some great recipes online. You won't even notice the difference, we promise."
Cas came into the hallway. "Hello, Dean. Hello, Sam. Merry Christmas," he said to his friends.
"Yeah, I don't think so," Dean sputtered. "How could you let them do this, Cas? I thought you were my friend!"
"Do what?" Cas asked, his forehead wrinkling.
Liz was the first one to crack. The wounded, indignant look on Dean's face was just too funny. She started to giggle.
Gail shook her head at her Angel friend. "Liz, you're such a lightweight," Gail scolded her. "I was hoping the joke would last for more than a few seconds."
Dean looked at the women, and then at his brother, who was grinning now. "Gotcha," Sam said.
"You did not," Dean insisted. "I knew you guys were joking."
"Yeah? Tell that to your face," Gail said, handing the brothers' coats to Cas.
They all moved into the main living room area. "Did you get him?" Frank asked with an anticipatory smile.
"We totally got him," Gail said, and she and Frank high-fived.
As Dean went from person to person, asserting that nobody had gotten him because he'd known all along that they were joking, Nicole walked up to him, giving him a hug and a kiss. "I've got Cas and Gail on notice that I might have to leave suddenly," she said quietly.
"Your Gramps?" Dean asked his girlfriend.
Nicole nodded. "Yeah. They told me at the nursing home that he's been having some good days, but he's also been having some bad days. Cas said that he could pop me over there, if he takes a turn for the worse. But let's not say anything to anybody, okay? I don't want to put a damper on anyone's Christmas. It'll be sad, but he's lived a long, full life."
"Do you want me to go with you?" Dean said, giving her a squeeze.
"No, it's okay," Nicole replied. "Let's face it; he probably won't even know who I am, let alone anyone else. Besides, I don't want to keep you from enjoying your yummy tofu turkey." Her lips twitched.
"Oh, ha, ha," Dean retorted. "I knew they were joking."
"Sure you did. Of course you did," Nicole reassured him, smirking. "Come on, let's go get you a drink. You could probably use one, after that scare you didn't get."
Once everyone was gathered in the living room area, Dean said, "Hey, Pookie, do me a favour?"
Frank gave him a baleful stare. "You know, it's not too late to get Gail started on a tofu turkey."
Dean shrugged, grinning. "That's an empty threat, and you know it. There's no way you're gonna eat a tofu turkey."
Frank sighed. His friend was right, of course. "What can I do you for?" he asked.
"See those big boxes standing up on the left side of the tree?" Dean said. "One's for Pete, and one's for Angela. I thought maybe we could open them now, 'cause those kids are wimps. They'll probably be in bed soon, am I right?"
Frank was bemused. "OK, let's see what Uncle Dean got you guys," he said to the babies. He handed one box to Jody to open, and the other one to Carolyn. The mothers exchanged smiles, then ripped open the packages.
"What are these?" Jody asked curiously, once she had the wrapping off.
"They're action figures of the characters in 'Supernatural'," Dean told her. "They're from me and Nicole."
"Peter and Angela are only babies, Dean," Carolyn said to him.
"I know," he replied. "So what? Just leave 'em in the boxes until they get a little bit older. They're gonna have a lot of fun with those things, though. Here. Look."
Dean got off his chair and sat down on the floor. "Here, give me those," he said to the women. As everyone started to grin, Dean took the figures out of the boxes. "Here's Sammy, and me, and Cas. There's even a Crowley. Oh, and see that bigger box there? Give it here."
Carolyn handed it over, and Dean took a die-cast model of the Impala out of the box. "There's my Baby," he said lovingly. He looked at Jody. "Don't worry; there's one there for Angela, too. I don't discriminate. Besides, Frank needs to know what a really good car looks like."
"Oh, hardy-har-har. Look at you, playing with dolls," Frank retorted.
"They're not dolls, they're action figures," Dean corrected him. "Heroes, with the coolest car in the universe."
"A car so cool, he even got a model for himself," Sam chipped in. "And I'm not so sure he didn't get a little Dean doll, while he was at it."
Dean glared at his brother for a moment, and then he grabbed the Sam figurine. "Hi, I'm Sam Winchester. I'm fifteen feet tall, and I think I'm the smartest guy that ever lived. But, my big brother Dean is actually way smarter than me. Better-looking, too," Dean said, gesturing with "Sam".
Then he grabbed the Cas figure. "Hello, Dean," he said in a gravelly voice. "I need your help on a case."
Now, Dean picked his own figure up. "OK, Cas," he said, sighing. "But, maybe after I help you once again, you could promote me to Saint Dean, or something."
"I'm scared, Dean," he made the Sam figure say.
"It's okay, Sammy," Dean said, gesturing with his own action figure. "As soon as I finish researching the lore and going to the weapons room, you and Cas can meet me in the garage. Don't worry, I'll protect you guys, like I always do." He grabbed the Cas and Sam figures with one hand, moving them behind the one of himself. "Thank you, Dean," he rasped in Cas's voice. "We can always count on you to be there for us when we're frightened."
Then, Dean grabbed the Crowley figure. "'Allo, boys," he said, in an atrocious English accent. "What are you doing at the blimey crossroads? Get away from here! This is my bloody Kingdom! Prepare to fight!"
Dean started bashing the figurines together, making fighting noises. "Get him, Dean!" the faux Sam exhorted his brother. "Take this, you evil douchebag," faux Dean said, knocking his action figure against Crowley's.
The fight went on for a couple of minutes as everyone watching was having a harder and harder time trying not to laugh out loud. This was just too funny.
Dean was really getting into it now. He smashed his action figure against Crowley's one more time, and sent it flying across the room. "Cor blimey, mate!" faux Crowley cried, as Gail finally cracked up laughing. "Oh my God, Dean, that's the worst accent I've ever heard!" she exclaimed, holding her stomach now.
"Although, we do applaud the outcome of the fight," Cas added, looking at the spot across the room where Crowley's figurine had landed.
Dean looked at Gail for a minute, and then he reached for another one of the boxes, opening it. "Oh, Cas, I was so scared," Dean said in a high-pitched voice. Now, he was holding a figurine of Gail's character in the upcoming movie. She was enthralled. Sure, Dean was making fun of her, but...she had an action figure?
"Where did you get that?" Gail asked Dean, astonished. "The movie's not even out, yet!"
"Nicole got them," Dean replied. "Everybody working on the movie got advance copies of some of the merchandise that'll be in stores after the premiere."
"Oh my God! That's so cool!" Gail looked at Cas, and then at Frank. "I'm an action figure! I can't believe it! I need one of those."
"Don't worry, I got you one of you, and one of Cas," Dean told her. He grabbed their figurines now, one in each hand. "So, when we leave, you can do this." Dean made kissing noises, moving the figurines together.
"Oh, we'll be doing that once you all leave, don't you worry," Gail told him, looking at Cas. The two of them smiled at each other.
"Why? Why do you want to encourage them like that?" Frank whined.
"Hey, better this - " Dean gestured with the figurines, "- than THAT." He nodded his head in Cas and Gail's direction. Then, he grabbed another box. "Hey, Bobby, toss me Crowley, over there."
"Are ya sure you don't want me to toss him in the fireplace, instead?" Bobby called out, as everybody laughed.
Dean took a red-haired figure out of the box. "Hello, Mother," he had Crowley say.
"Aye, Ferrrrgus," Dean said, gesturing with the Rowena figurine.
"I told you, my name is Crowley," Dean said in his awful British accent. "I don't care, Ferrrrgus," he retorted, in what was apparently supposed to be Rowena's Scottish accent.
Now, Cas and Gail exchanged glances again, but this time, they weren't smiling. Although Dean's little show was extremely entertaining and had everyone laughing right now, this particular tableau was reminding them that they had a couple of very big news items to pass along to their friends and family. But they'd better make sure that no one was eating, or they might just choke when they found out about Crowley and Rowena's true relationship to Gail.
Now, Dean was bonking "Crowley" and "Rowena" together, making them argue with each other in an incredibly convoluted mishmash of accents that didn't actually sound like either one.
Gail was grinning from ear to ear. He was such a child. She looked at Nicole. "I can't believe I'm an action figure," she said to Dean's girlfriend. "And it even looks like me!"
"Little girls are going to be lining up to buy it," Nicole said to her. "Chuck's written you as a very strong character. Not a strong female character; just a strong character. You'll be a great role model for kids."
Gail was incredibly touched by that. "Thank you, Nicole. What a lovely thing to say."
"You're going to be a very popular action figure too, Bobby," Nicole said to their older Angel friend. "Fans of the TV show were begging for your return."
Bobby's beard twitched. "Well, it's like I always say: you've gotta give the people what they want," he quipped, beaming.
"Hey, is there a Bobby in there?" Frank exhorted Dean. "Take him out."
"Why, there shoah is, ya idjit," Dean said, taking the Bobby figure out of its box.
"Who's that supposed to be? Foghorn Leghorn?" Frank said, laughing, as Bobby frowned. Gail and Liz were clutching at each other for support now, because they were laughing so hard. "It's a good thing we're Angels, or I'd be peeing myself right now!" Gail exclaimed, wiping her eyes.
"Oh, Cas, Dean is so funny!" Dean said in his high-pitched voice, grabbing her figurine. "No, he's not. He's an idjit," the Bobby figure said.
"OK, who here is starting to get a little worried about Dean?" Jody joked. "I saw a horror movie like this once, about a ventriloquist who got a little too carried away."
"Yeah, but Dean's not the ventriloquist, he's the dummy," Bobby fumed. He stalked over to where Dean was sitting. "Give me that." He bent down and grabbed the Bobby figure out of Dean's hand.
"Balls," Dean remarked dejectedly, as everyone laughed again. Bobby examined the figure he was holding. "I've gotta admit, he is a handsome fella, though," he said.
The babies were sitting in high chairs, and they were gurgling and wiggling around. "Dean," Angela said, pointing, and Dean grinned. "See?" he said delightedly. "They can't wait to play with them."
"Yeah, if they can pry them out of your hands, first," Jody said, smirking.
"Those kids have no idea what's going on," Tommy pointed out. "Still, they obviously know good entertainment when they see it."
"Yeah? And when did they see it?" Bobby said grumpily.
Gail was still wiping her eyes, trying to collect herself. Her stomach hurt from laughing so much. "OK, that's it," she declared. "Dean is going to have to put on a show for us like this every year. I hope you know you just started a new Christmas tradition."
"Bring it on," Dean said, shrugging. He started to put the figurines away in their boxes.
"Maybe we'll have to send you to a dialect coach, first," Sam said to his brother.
"Oh, yeah? Well, maybe we'll have to send YOU to a dialect coach," Dean said, nonsensically.
"Man, Dean is nuts," Paul commented, rolling his eyes. "Although, I've gotta say, that imitation of Crowley was pretty funny."
"You thought it was funny, did you?" Kevin said coolly. "Oh, yeah. The King of Hell is hilarious."
"Lighten up, Kevin, it's Christmas," Linda admonished her son, and Kevin stared at her. Really? She and Paul were sitting there holding hands, and it was freaking him out. Ever since they'd told him last month that they were seeing each other, everywhere that Kevin went in Heaven, it seemed like they were there, holding hands. He'd even caught them kissing, a couple of times. Yuk. It was unclear exactly what was bothering Kevin about their relationship. Was it the age difference? Or, worse, was it the racial one?
Not only that, but he was getting a bit of a vibe from Paul. Maybe it was just in Kevin's imagination, but he felt like Paul was looking at him strangely much of the time. Ever since Kevin had blurted out at Cas and Gail's party last month that he thought he might be gay, Paul had been acting a little more distant towards him. Or, was Kevin just paranoid, because he wasn't exactly Paul's biggest fan?
Linda was aware of the tension between the two, of course. She was hoping it would sort itself out, in time. She'd been disappointed in herself that her first honest reaction to Kevin's pronouncement hadn't been favourable. But once they'd left the party and gone back up to Heaven, Linda had sent Paul home and then spent the next few hours talking with her son. They had come out of that conversation with a stronger bond, and Linda had told him that she supported him one hundred percent, no matter what his choices turned out to be. It was just too bad that he couldn't seem to afford her the same courtesy. But, she was trying to cut her son some slack. Kevin had never seen her with a man other than his father. That must be difficult. But, Paul made her happy. It was as simple as that. And she wasn't about to apologize for that fact.
As far as Paul was concerned, he was trying to tread lightly around young Kevin. Paul knew that it must be weird for him to see his mom with another guy. But they were all adults here, and Kevin was just going to have to get used to the idea. Paul really liked Linda. She was fun and vivacious, and she also didn't take crap from anybody. Paul wasn't really sure how he personally felt about the fact that Kevin might be gay, but he wasn't really sure that it was any of his business, anyway.
Dean got up off the floor, making a rude gesture at Frank, who was taunting Dean mercilessly about his attempt at doing the accents. Jody gave Dean what Frank would call the "hairy eyeball", but she said nothing. In another half year or so, though, she was going to have to talk to him about that kind of stuff. Angela and Peter were a little too young right now, but it wouldn't be too much longer until they started to imitate everything they saw and heard.
Frank was amused. "I've always wondered why that particular finger is the rude one," he speculated aloud. "Who decides these things, anyway?"
"That's a good point, Frank-in-cense," Gabriel quipped. He waggled his eyebrows at Gail. "In keeping with the Christmas theme." He shook his little finger. "Like, why couldn't it be this one, instead?"
"Oh, I wouldn't do THAT, if I were you," Paul said hastily. "That's a gang signal."
Gabriel looked at Paul, then at his little finger, then back at Paul again. "What? This?" He shook his pinky finger again. "What gang would that be? The Wee-Wee-Wee, All The Way Home gang?"
Paul grinned. "OK, you got me, there. I made that up, just to mess with you."
Gabriel regarded the younger Angel for a moment. He was at a loss for words, which was a rare state for him. He still didn't know exactly how to take Raphael's son.
Cas was circulating throughout the living room now holding two bottles of wine, one in each hand. He was trying to be a good host, offering to replenish peoples' glasses. As usual, the Angels who chose to do so were partaking, and the humans were too, of course. Cas filled Gail's glass first, then Liz's and Jody's, and then he asked Frank if he wanted some.
"No thanks, Cas, I'm good," Frank said, waving his beer in salute. "But I appreciate the sediment," he added, nodding at the nearly-empty bottle Cas was holding.
As everybody was groaning over Frank's pun, Rob piped up, "I was gonna watch people sliding down mountains made of ice on TV, but then I decided they were just a bunch of lugers."
Liz giggled, but Jody rolled her eyes. "You see what I have to put up with every day?" she asked the room.
As Frank moved to high-five his son, Barry grinned. "Gail, can't you just invent an errand for those two, and then lock the door behind them?"
"Then who'll be here to heckle you, when you and Gail sing 'You're The One That I Want', later?" Frank retorted. He was making reference to the fact that Barry had confessed to playing the lead in a local production of "Grease" last month, at Cas and Gail's Never Have I Ever party. Frank put his arm around Rob, hugging his son to him. "Personally, I've never been prouder of this guy."
Rob was smiling now, but truthfully, he had been feeling a little low this Christmas season. His mom and Bobby had both said it was because he had PTSD from what had happened at the compound. And while he had no doubt that that was part of it, Rob was also missing Eric, a lot more than he'd thought he would. He'd never known he had a twin brother, and they had only spent a few days together, but Rob missed him, nonetheless. He wondered how Eric was doing. Hopefully, he was safe. He'd told Rob that he was going to reconsider the way he made his money, but the psychic in Rob knew that his brother was right back at it, as if nothing had ever happened.
Rob wasn't going to let that spoil his Christmas, though. He was lucky enough to be here with the rest of his extended family, and they were having a great time.
A short while later, the babies went down for a nap, and the adults had another round of drinks. Then Cas and Gail exchanged a glance, and Cas cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.
"Gail and I have a couple of things that we need to tell you," Cas told them, as the conversation in the room died down. He sighed. "As I'm sure you all know by now, we have begun to annul our marriage. We have decided to complete the process after this Christmas celebration is over. We will have to live apart for six months, after we formally dissolve our marriage."
"No offense, Cas, but that's the worst-kept secret in town," Frank said. "But because it's Christmas, I won't tell you how dumb I think your ancient rules are."
"Uhhh...I think you just did, Frankenberry," Gabriel said dryly. "But, for the record, I have to say, I tend to agree with you. Especially because I know what they're going to say next."
Frank frowned. "Why? What are you talking about? What are they going to say next?"
"The last step of the annulment ritual," Cas said, trying to keep his voice steady. "There are seven sacred stones. They will be placed in a bag, and then seven of our friends who Gail has picked as designates will pick a stone each. The one who picks the white stone will be married to Gail in a civil ceremony that will last six months in duration. Then, that marriage can be annulled, and then the entire process will be complete."
Everyone sat in stunned silence, and then Frank said, "OK, I retract my earlier statement. THAT is the dumbest thing I've ever heard." He looked at Gail. "So...huh?"
His sister shrugged. "What do you want me to say, Frank? I agree with you. But, I have no choice. I have to do it if I want to marry Cas again."
Frank was shaking his head. Wow. This was idiotic. "So, who are the chosen victims?" he asked her sarcastically.
Gail made a face. "You know, I almost wish that you could be one, just so I could make your life miserable for the next six months," she said tartly.
"Please. Been there, done that," Frank retorted. "And for a lot longer than six months."
Gail did a double-take, and then she smiled. "Okay, I have to admit, that was kind of a good one." Then she looked around the room at everyone. "So, the seven guys I've picked are: Gabriel, Sam, Dean, Chuck, Riley, Kevin, and Efram," she told them.
"OK, hold on a minute," Gabriel said, putting his hands up. "Not for nothing, but, do we get a say in this?"
"Of course you do," Cas said coolly. "Everyone does. But I cannot imagine any reason that any of you would look upon marriage to Gail as anything but a privilege."
Frank raised his hand. "I can! Pick me, pick me!"
"Shut up, Frank. You're not helping," Gail said sharply. Then she sighed. "Look, what Cas is saying is very sweet, but if anybody wants to opt out, I promise not to hold a grudge. But just so you know, it wouldn't be a real marriage. More like a Green Card marriage."
"So, no consummation? I'm out," Gabriel joked, and Liz hit him on the arm. "Ow!" the Archangel complained. "For a pacifist, you sure hit hard."
"He'll do it," Liz said. "Of course he'll do it. Anything to help the two of you get married again," she said to Cas and Gail.
Sam said nothing, but they'd already had this conversation. He and Quinn had broken up now anyway, and even though things had been a little awkward between the three of them at the party, Sam had assured Cas and Gail that he was only interested in helping them out.
So was Dean, but typically, neither he nor Nicole had seriously discussed that he might be one of the seven. Although, to be fair, the movie had just wrapped filming a few days ago, so they hadn't talked much. Nicole looked at Liz, and then at Gail, and then at Dean. "Well...I guess I'd be kind of petty if I raised an objection," Nicole said hesitantly.
"It's just a one in seven chance, anyway," Dean said to his girlfriend, "and even if the worst happened, there wouldn't be anything going on between me and her."
A throw pillow came sailing at Dean, hitting him in the face. "'The worst'? Thanks a lot, Dean!" Gail said.
"There's the problem, right there," Chuck pointed out, grinning. "If any of us sounds too excited about the prospect, our girlfriends will get mad at us, and Cas might smite us. But if we act too reluctant, Gail will get mad. It's a lose-lose proposition."
"I'm not comfortable with this," Laurel said, frowning. "I don't want to be the 'bad guy' here, but Chuck and I just got engaged. I want his first marriage to be to me."
Gail sighed again. "That's perfectly understandable. I'm sorry, Chuck, but I only included you because you're my friend. And truthfully, I had trouble coming up with seven single guys I knew well enough for the list."
Bobby cleared his throat, and Gail looked at him. Now, she wondered if she should feel bad. She'd never even considered him, probably because he was more or less a father figure to them all. But it was pretty much going to be a sham marriage anyway, wasn't it?
She smiled ingratiatingly. "I apologize, Bobby. Would you mind taking Chuck's place, please?" Gail asked him.
Bobby nodded. "Sure, dear."
"All right, then. If everyone else is in agreement, we will hold the choosing ceremony on New Year's Eve," Cas announced. "Then, the civil service will be performed immediately afterwards."
Gail took Cas's hand. "I'm subscribing to the 'soonest begun, soonest done' theory. I figure whoever gets saddled with me is going to want to start the clock ticking as soon as possible," she said dryly.
"Don't say that. It would be a privilege to be married to you," Riley said earnestly, and Kevin and Ethan exchanged glances, trying to keep from smirking. Of course Riley would say that. In a lot of ways, Cas should probably be rooting for Riley. He would treat Gail like she was made of glass, and suck up to Cas the whole time he was doing it.
"Thanks, Riley," Gail said with a grin. Admittedly, part of her was thinking the same thing. "Now, Cas doesn't like it when I say this, but if we have to do this thing, I say we have a little fun with it. So, we're going to have our Divorce Party at the bunker, New Year's Eve. Cas and I will do our anointing thingie beforehand, and then we'll have the civil ceremony there at Sam and Dean's place, after the guys pick their stones. Then, we'll have a bunch of drinks, and ring in the New Year."
"I wish you wouldn't say 'divorce'," Cas said, frowning. "You know that I would never divorce you."
"I'm just trying to have a sense of humour about it, sweetie," Gail said, kissing him on the cheek. "In fact, if anyone's got some divorce humour, I would invite you to bring your jokes. I refuse to be sad about this. It's just a blip on the radar screen. That's all."
Their friends and family traded uncomfortable glances. The room fell silent as everyone thought about what was going to happen. Come New Year's Day, Cas and Gail were no longer going to be married. It was funny; there were certain things you got used to in life, things you expected never to change. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and Cas and Gail were...Cas and Gail. But now, not only would they not even be married to each other once the calendar page turned, but Gail would be married to someone else.
"I have one." Everybody had expected it to be Frank, but it was Jody who suddenly spoke up. The entire group turned their heads to look at her. "There are two sides to every divorce: yours, and Shithead's."
There was another silence, and then, Gail burst out laughing. Then Gabriel joined her, then Frank, Nicole, and Liz. Soon, everyone was laughing. Cas wasn't, of course, but his expression had relaxed a little. When Gail had told him how she wanted to approach the subject, his first reaction had been one of disapproval. He didn't find anything the slightest bit amusing about having to spend the first six months of the New Year apart from the love of his life. But she'd made him realize that the news they had to impart was going to be difficult enough for everyone to hear without requiring them all to wear black and go into mourning about it. And they weren't done with the bad news yet, were they?
"We have something else to tell you, too," Cas told the group somberly.
"Yes, and maybe we'd better make sure everyone's glasses are nice and full for this one," Gail said, making a face.
"What could be worse than what you just told us?" Frank asked her.
"As the expression goes: 'hold my beer'," Gail said dryly.
If they'd thought the room was silent before, when Cas and Gail had finished telling everyone about the true relationship between Vincent, Rowena, Crowley, and Gail, you could hear a pin drop when they were done.
"Boy, it really IS a Silent Night," Gail quipped nervously.
"You're kidding me," Frank finally said, once he could find his voice. "You have got to be freaking kidding me."
Gail laughed humourlessly. "I wish I were. I only wish I were."
"Wait a minute," Frank said, holding up his hands. He seemed to be the only one in the room even capable of speech at the moment. "Wait, just a damn minute." He looked at Cas. "If you and Crowley were brothers at the time of Creation, and Priscilla and Fergus were brother and sister at the time of the Mayflower, doesn't that make you and Gail...?"
"Nothing. It makes us nothing," Gail said quickly. "It makes us two people who are very much in love, that's what it makes us. And that's ALL it makes us. Got it?" She pointed her finger at him, and then at the others. "All of you, same thing."
"Yeah, you'd better shut up, Frank," Dean piped up. "You don't want Luke and Leia here to throw you out of their house at Christmastime, do you?"
Gail wheeled on him. "Really, Dean? Do you really want to be saying that to me right now? You think you're being funny, do you? Do you think that joke makes you funny?"
"Who are you, Joe Pesci? Actually, yeah. That's exactly what I think," Dean said, smirking.
"Well, it's going to make you dead in about 10 seconds, too, if you don't wipe that freaking smirk off your face," she threatened him.
"Oh, nice talk from an Angel at Christmas," Dean teased her. "Do you kiss God with that mouth?" Then he and Frank looked at each other and started to pretend like they were strumming banjos. "Doo doo DOO doo doo doo doo doo doo..."
"OK, that's it, I'm getting my blade," Gail announced, pretending to get up from the couch. But she supposed it was really her fault. She was the one who had asked everyone for humour, wasn't she? This was what her family was like.
"All right, that's enough," Cas said sternly. "We took no pleasure in telling you about it, and now that you have had your fun, let's change the subject. I would like to enjoy our Christmas, and Gail would, too."
Mercifully, the men shut it down then, and after a few minutes, they had gone on to other topics.
Chuck was telling them about some ideas that he and Richard has been kicking around for the third movie in the series. "Now that we've introduced Gail's character, I've been pitching some more back story for you," Chuck said, looking at her. "Even though it's kind of out of sequence to what really happened, I wanted to see if we could bring Frank in, as a sort of plot twist. Maybe he's been in Hell this whole time, and you have to make a deal to get him out, or something," Chuck went on. "Remember, it's only fiction."
Gail glanced over at her brother, who was talking to Barry and Tommy. "Or maybe we'll just leave him there, this time," she said sarcastically, still stewing about his and Dean's jokes from a few minutes ago.
Chuck laughed. He looked around surreptitiously. Laurel was talking with Nicole and Dean. "You know I was willing to help you, right?" he said, keeping his voice down.
She gave him a little smile. "I know. You're a good friend, Chuck. But, Laurel is right. You guys just got engaged. I don't blame her for the way she feels."
"You know, I'm thinking about some flashback scenes with you and Cas, too," Chuck told her. "If you don't object, I'd kind of like to explore that whole historical aspect. Maybe a whole Tristan and Isolde kind of thing. What do you think?"
"I think that's wrong," Sam remarked.
Chuck looked at him, puzzled. "Yeah? Why?"
"Because Cas and I didn't have to drink a potion to fall in love," Gail said. She was staring warmly at her soon-to-be ex-husband, who was talking to the young male Angels she had designated. Probably making sure they understood the definition of a "Green Card" marriage, she thought with faint amusement. "Although, I did give him a very special glass of water to drink that first night," she reminisced softly.
"And, neither of us would ever VOLUNTARILY marry anyone else," Cas said, placing emphasis on the word. He slipped his arms around Gail's waist, from behind her. For a moment, she was startled. She'd just seen him across the room, talking to Riley, Efram and Kevin. But he was God, after all, and he'd always had excellent hearing, to go along with all of his other celestial powers. Plus, they had vowed to spend every minute they possibly could together from now until they were forced apart.
"Did I hear that you were talking about Tristan and Isolde?" Cas said, giving Gail and a gentle squeeze. "That's a very romantic story."
"Romantic?!" Gail exclaimed. "More like tragic!" She pointed a finger at Chuck. "You'd better not write us like THAT in your movies."
"Why? What's the deal about them?" Rob asked, curious.
"Check this out: They're separated from each other, and married to other people," Gail told him. "Tristan gets sick, and he's laying there on his deathbed, hoping against hope that Isolde will come and see him before he dies. There's a ship coming, and if she was on the ship, they were going to put out white sails to let him know, so that he could try to hang on a little longer, in time enough for her to get there. So, the ship did that, because she WAS on it. But his witch of a substitute wife, who was also named Isolde - 'cause it's such a common name - looked out the window for him, saw the ship, and she lied to him! She said it had black sails, which meant that his Isolde wasn't coming."
"His substitute wife? What does that mean?" Rob said.
"When Isolde - the original one - married another, Tristan did, too," Cas replied.
"What's romantic about that?" the young man asked, puzzled.
"Exactly!" Gail said, gesturing with her hands for emphasis. "Thank you!"
"I think it's very romantic," Cas insisted. "He loved his Isolde so much that, when she was forced to marry another man, he married another woman, just because her name was Isolde, too. He couldn't even bear to contemplate marrying a woman with a different name."
There was silence for a moment, and then Gail said, "So, if Cas meets anyone else named Gail in the next six months, all of you guys have my full permission to do whatever it is you need to do."
The group that was gathered around them laughed, and Rob said, "So what happened after she lied to him?"
"He died," Gail said bluntly. "He thought she wasn't coming, so he gave up, and he died. And then, when she did arrive, she died of grief when she saw that he was dead. Then, they were buried together. Really romantic, isn't it?" Gail added sarcastically. Considering the fairly recent events in her and Cas's lives, that hit a little too close to home for her.
Cas gave her another squeeze. "However, from Isolde's grave a rose tree grew, and from Tristan's grave came a vine, that wrapped itself around that tree," he said softly. "And every time that vine was cut, it would grow again. A sign that the two lovers could never be parted, even in death. So you see, we are not that different from them after all, are we, my darling?"
"That's just about the sweetest thing I've ever heard," Laurel remarked.
Gail turned around to face Cas. "You know, sometimes I almost forget how wonderful you really are," she said, tears prickling at her eyes. "I love you so much, Cas."
"I love you too, my love," he said, kissing her. "This will be the longest six months of my existence, but I will endure it," he told her. "I will endure it, because I am that vine. I will never stop wrapping myself around you."
The two of them started to kiss, and the people they had been talking to backed away discreetly. This time, not even Frank and Dean gave them grief about it. They had only one week remaining, to be together. And that wasn't very much time. Not much time at all.
Christmas was over now, and everyone had gone to their respective homes happy, with full stomachs, and laden down with presents. Gail had gone all out as far as the gifts went, but there had also been a few gag presents sprinkled in. She'd finally availed herself of the opportunity to bestow a couple of Cas's campaign posters on the guys. There had been much hooting and hollering when those presents were opened, with increasingly inappropriate jokes on how they could enhance Cas's image on the posters, and various things he could be holding in them. But there had been a lot of really nice moments at Christmas too, such as when Cas had stood at the head of the dinner table and said the blessing. They'd had many more attendees at this particular Christmas celebration. Their extended family was growing, and even though Sam and Quinn had broken up and Eric wasn't there, it was still a wonderful occasion.
As the days remaining to the year counted down, Cas and Gail holed up in their Earth house like hermits. Cas had once again left Bobby and Gabriel in charge of Heaven, leaving instructions to be contacted only in case of dire emergency. He and Gail had cleaned up the house together after Christmas, taking all of the remaining food to their neighbourhood homeless shelter, and doing whatever they discreetly could for the unfortunate people there. Then they had returned home to spend their last days together as a married couple.
Predictably enough, they'd spent much of their time in bed, but they had also talked quite a bit, about a variety of subjects.
Gail had finally admitted that Frank and Dean's joking around about all of their complicated relationships had gotten to her, maybe more than she'd been willing to let on at the time. Cas had been caressing her with the intention of taking her clothes off, but she stopped him. He asked her what the matter was, and she uneasily broached the subject.
But, Cas ridiculed what the men had been implying. "No. No! I reject the notion," he'd told her firmly. "Don't even concern yourself with it. You and I are by no stretch of the imagination brother and sister. The very idea is insanity. They are two entirely separate things. You and I were married in a cathedral in The Vatican, and we were also Mr. and Mrs. Alden, in the New World. God would not keep bringing us together like this time after time throughout history, to fall in love with each other every time, if there were anything amiss about our relationship. Don't you worry about that. Please. Frank and Dean are just being...Frank and Dean. You know how they are. But, they are being silly. You are my mate, and I am yours. That is all there is to that. I know you're probably just feeling strange about the coming six months. So am I. If there was anything I could do to keep you as my wife, I would. But as soon as we perform the dissolution ritual, that will be it. I won't be allowed to be romantic with you again, unless we are going to remarry." Cas took a deep breath. "And that is why, as soon as you are married, it is my intention to stay away from you until you are free."
Gail looked at him, startled. "What? What do you mean?"
He looked at her with the puppydog eyes. "Just that," he told her. "It will be too difficult for me to see you married to another man, knowing I won't be able to kiss you, or even hold your hand."
She was getting frustrated now. "Look, Cas. I still don't understand why I even have to marry somebody else in the first place. If your ancient rules said we have to annul our marriage and then have, say, a six-month cooling-off period, fine. I guess I could get that. It would be to prevent either person from doing something rash. I guess. But, why on earth should I have to be married off to some other guy during that time?"
Cas was subdued, lost in thought over what she was saying. "I don't know. I suppose it was because the lawmakers were trying, in their own way, to allow the woman the freedom of choice. In those days, it was unacceptable for a woman to sleep with anyone other than a husband."
"Well, I don't want to sleep with anyone other than MY husband, and that's you," she said, poking him gently. "The only reason I agreed to go along with this stupid idea is because you said there won't be any expectations of anything physical with this other guy."
"That's right," Cas assured her. "But, you must also remain faithful to each other for the six months. That's why I can't be around, kissing you, or holding your hand. By our law, that would be considered cheating."
Gail looked at him. "Wait a minute. So you're telling me that, even though me and my so-called husband won't be doing anything with each other, that we can't be doing anything with anyone else, either? Either of us?"
Cas nodded. "Of course. You both must remain faithful."
"Do the guys know that?" she quizzed him.
"Sure," Cas said, but there was a tone of uncertainty in his voice now. "They must. Marriages are entered into with the expectation of fidelity."
"Yes, but Cas...this situation is a little different, wouldn't you say?" she said. "What about Gabriel, or Dean? They're in established relationships. If I have to marry either of those guys, is it really fair to Liz or Nicole? To expect them not to be intimate with their guys just because of us and our stupid situation?"
Cas thought about that. No, he guessed it really wasn't fair. He sighed. The next six months had the potential to be hard on a lot of people.
Gail was frowning. She really didn't want to do this. And if she had to do this, she didn't want to do it without Cas around. But she could understand where he was coming from. How could the two of them be in a room together and not kiss, or even hold hands? How did a person live without breathing, anyway? Logistically, how was this even going to work? If she ended up marrying one of the Angels, and the odds suggested that would probably be the case, how were she and Cas supposed to stay away from each other if they were both in Heaven, going about their business? Heaven was a big place, but still...Or, should she and the mystery guy get a temporary place here on Earth, maybe? Because there was no way she was going to live here in this house with anyone else. No way. What would it be like, being married to one of the young Angels? Would she be like their mom, or something? Or how about the reverse? Being married to Bobby would be like living with your father, Gail thought. Well, the normal, non-child-killing kind of father, that was. Or how about Gabriel? Hey, at least they would have a few laughs together. And if he tried anything, she'd just sic Liz on him. Finally, what about Sam, or Dean? It would be super weird being married to Sam, especially considering the world's biggest, most obvious elephant. Supposedly, they'd dealt with the subject of his feelings for her and put it behind them now, but had they, really? What if she was suddenly Sam's wife, though? Or, even weirder, Dean's?
No. That was it. Enough was enough. She was starting to go nuts, and she and Cas had only a handful of days left.
Gail touched Cas's face, caressing his cheek softly. "Never mind," she said. "The only person I want to concentrate on right now is you."
He took the hand that was on his cheek in both of his, kissing it. "I need to kiss every inch of you," he told her. "I need to put the experience in my memory bank, to get me through the next six months. Will you let me do that?"
"'Let' you?" she repeated, shaking her head slowly. She smiled. "You talk about that like I'm granting you a favour, or something."
"You are," Cas said, putting his arms around her. "Every time I'm fortunate enough to be able to express my love for you like that, I feel like you are granting me the biggest favour I could ever receive. Every time you give yourself over to me, I realize I'm the luckiest individual in existence. And every time you love me back, I'm made aware of what the word Heaven truly means."
"You have such a way with words," Gail told him, nuzzling his cheek. "Do you think you can talk and kiss at the same time?"
"Of course I can," Cas said softly. His hands were slipping underneath her clothes now, stroking her bare skin. "I can do anything you need me to do, as long as you tell me you love me."
"I love you, Cas," she said, as he removed her clothes and began to kiss her body.
"Call me your husband, please," he requested, licking the insides of her thighs." "I need to hear that now."
In another minute, Gail was crying out Cas's name, calling him her husband, the only one she would ever love, and he was smiling, because that was exactly what he needed. Then, when her mouth and tongue were on him, he shouted out, promising the same.
And then three days later, after making love one final time, they anointed each other with the Holy Oil, and then, their marriage was over.