Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter or this plot etc
Warning: Hints at depression and suicide and mentions Malfoy Manor with this being unbeta'ed.
There were very few things Luna wanted to remember about after her mothers' death. She learned that pain wasn't optional but suffering was. She learned that her parents weren't immortal and that her daddy was suffering too when he looked at a potion knife and then at her and then in a broken voice said I'm sorry. Tears leaked from his eyes and he sobbed uncontrollably as she held onto him. She learned to stay with him unless he needed to be alone. Finally she learned to hide the sharp blades and ask for potions from the healer instead of her daddy.
Those were the things she learned right away. She eventually learned to hate the looks her daddy gave her when he thought she wasn't looking. She hated the way he would just look away from her and just become quiet. She hated the pressure it put them all under. There were times she hated herself for looking around her and felt angry at herself and jealous at everyone else around her.
That was when Luna was introduced to Selene. She had run away and entered the woods alone. She knew the woods like the back of her hand. In her distracted state she got lost. Panic settled in muddling her memories and blanking it out. Suddenly she felt a surge of peace and safety as she calmly walked out something from outside herself lead her out.
Tears built up and fell as she whispered, "Mom?" before walking home.
Luna forgot about it after and with time learned to accept the painful loss. It wasn't long before Hogwarts and she learned of a different kind of hurt and isolation. Over ten years later she realized her mistakes but the past is immutable and the future ever changing. It took her over four years to find friends. It was a brief peaceful time before the storm.
The year that the death eaters took over the school she thought it was rock bottom. Then she found out that it was a false bottom as she hit rock bottom in the Malfoy dungeon. Her eyes got distant as the days grew longer as the shadows and darkness got bigger inside her. Luna drifted off and Selene emerged to fill the void. It was the first the first time she experienced peace in a long time.
"… we'll break you later." She watched as they left the room grumbling.
She looked down as she swallowed. This wasn't normal. The past few hours was a blissful blank and that scared her. She had to hold on but she couldn't fight it anymore. Suddenly she felt heavy and everything hurt. She didn't know that she had water left in her body left for tears as they fell. Looking up she mouthed something with the barest whisper reaching the heavens.
"Mummy, I love you but I don't think you want to see me so soon so please give me the strength to survive this."
It was as sudden and welcome as water for a man dying of thirst. She was still bleeding with broken bones and a throat sore from screaming. She closed her eyes as her lips twitched into a small smile. She was broken in body and was near breaking point but they hadn't broken her spirit yet. She felt a surge of inner strength and leaned her head back and drifted off into the most peaceful sleep in her life before drifting back into consciousness feeling stronger and calmer.
She would survive this and once the men who did this were gone would in revenge live the best life she could. It would be a long road to get out of here, then once the war was done. Then she'd have to deal with all the scars and memories but she felt with clarity the future would be brighter than the sun once she got out.
The door opened and it was as if she was drifting and put in a secure spot in the darkness of her mind. She didn't know how to deal with "Selene" as she hid from the world. It probably wouldn't be easy to deal with it once the war was done but as the world was dulled and faded around her she was grateful. She didn't know when Luna began or Selene ended in the dungeon but as the Crucio hit she knew it was better than being alone in her head right now.
I hope you enjoyed reading this.