Castiel looked at the angel in the cell in front of him, hatred like he'd never felt before him. "Hannah, would mind giving me a moment alone with the prisoner?" He asked, not even turning to look at the angel beside him.

"Of course, Castiel." Hannah nodded, quickly walking out of the room. The door to the cells closed with a resounding thud.

Cas moved closer to the bars of the cell, "I won't kill you, but I swear that you wish I had. Your time here will be worse than if you were in Purgatory. You will pay for what you've done to the angels." And what you've done to Dean Winchester. He didn't say the words out loud, but he knew he didn't have to.

"I'm so scared." Metatron drawled, sarcasm laced through the words. But looking into the prisoner's eyes betrayed his true fear.

"You should be." Castiel promised him, leaving the cells. He slammed the door behind him, venting out some of his frustration on the door. Without speaking or looking at anyone, he strided throught the main atrium, heading towards the private room which he supposed could be considered his office. He slammed that door too - it felt good to slam it. To get out his anger in some kind of violent, yet harmless reaction.

He sat down, putting his head in his hands. Closing his eyes was a bad idea. If he closed his eyes he could imagine, see it almost as if it were in front of him.

Dean.

Dean, limp and lifeless. His usually bright green eyes, that had started to go dull when he'd recieved the mark, would be almost unrecognisable now in their dullness. His tanned skin would turn pale. The light sleeper would never wake up no matter how much Castiel yelled for him. No matter much he begged him, promised to make him pie or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or even go out for burgers if he got up - he would just lie their.

Castiel's shoulders started to shake and the information really started to sink in. The man he'd gripped tight and raised from perdition, the brightest soul he'd ever had the fortune to meet...he was dead.

And Cas didn't even have it in him to destroy his killer.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I'm so sorry. I just can't - I can't kill another angel." He pleaded the dead hunter to forgive him. "I will make him pay for what he did to you. Even if I don't kill him, I will do that. For you. Just like everything else. All of it. He was telling the truth for once - I rebelled and I fought and I tried for you." The tears flowed thicker and faster from Castiel's eyes, and it was getting hard for him to talk from sobbing. The pain reflected in his eyes was so clear, so pure, that it would probably make anyone who looked into them cry just because they'd seen someone suffer such pain. "And I'm sorry because I failed you. I should have been there. I could've helped, I could've done something...Why couldn't I have just been there?!" He almost screamed the last word, kicking the table in front of him and watching through bloodshot eyes as it tipped over, crashing to the floor with a loud and almost satisying sound that echoed around the room.

He didn't need much more encouragement to get up and trash the office, shouting as he did. "Why couldn't I just save you? You've saved the whole planet so many times and you were only a human. I'm an angel, I should've been able to look after one hunter! It was the one thing that really mattered and I failed! I should've been with you! I shouldn't have come here with Gadreel-" Gadreel - in his grief, he'd pushed the angel's sacrifice to the back of his mind, but now it joined the rest of his pain and he couldn't make it (make any of it) go away. "I should've made sure you were safe! I should've...I should've..." Cas stopped shouting, breathing heavily as he looked around at the destruction he'd caused in the room. He fell to his knees, sobbing even harder than he had been before. "I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry." He rocked back and forth slightly, finding that it helped him calm down. He chanted the words over and over again, knowing he could never say them enough.

He felt useless. He couldn't even save the hunter - the man that he loved. He finally admitted to himself the truth that he'd known for a while now. He was in love with Dean Winchester. Funny, how just as he could admit the truth it didn't matter anymore. If he brought him back to life, he'd burn out his stolen grace, which was growing weaker with each passing day, And he'd happily die for Dean, he'd would give up - had given up - everything for him. But the weak grace meant that it wasn't certain that Cas could bring him back. He would die and burn up his energy for nothing. He would've failed, again. That's what Cas wouldn't do. He wouldn't fail his hunter again.

Sam. Thoughts of the remaining Winchester suddenly filled Cas's mind and he realised how selfish he was being. If anyone was hurting as much as he was, it would be Sam Winchester. Without a second thought, he left the destroyed office and headed towards the portal so he could return to Earth.

Cas found Sam in Dean's room in the bunker, sobbing over an empty bed, clearly so drunk he'd be hung over for days after. It was such a Dean thing, to drink so he could forget, Cas had to look away so he could compose himself. "Sam, I'm so sorry-"

Sam jumped and looked up at him. Cas couldn't remember seeing the hunter look so lost. "He's gone." He whispered, looking back towards the bed.

"I know, and I'm sorry." Cas replied, not sure what else he could say to comfort him. "I will make Metatron pay, I swear. He will not get away with this easily."

"N-no, Cas. You don't get it. Dean's gone. Like, he'd not here. In the bunker." Sam said, not taking his eyes off the bed.

Cas frowned, tilting his head slightly in confusion. Sam was drunk, he reminded himself. He didn't know what he was saying - he must've already burned the body and in his drunken state forgotten. "Sam, I think maybe you should rest." Cas said softly.

"No!" Sam snapped back, close to shouting the word. "I left hiim here.He loved this room, I thought-" He faltered in his sentence. "I thought he might like one more night in it. Then I went downstairs to summon Crowley to heal him-"

"You did what?" Now it was Cas's turn to almost yell. "You were going to make a deal? Do I have to lose you as well, in ten years when Crowley comes to collect? Why do you both have to be so reackless with your lives?"

"I wasn't going to make a deal." Sam retorted. "I was going to make him heal Dean whether he liked it or not - it's his fault he got the Mark and the Blade in the first place - but he didn't show. Then when I came back up here Dean was gone." He explained. He sounded so certain that it was almost like he wasn't drunk - the only evidence of that in fact was his flushed skin and the almost unnoticable way he was swaying.

Castiel looked towards the empty bed. He knew it was selfish, but he was glad it was empty so he wouldn't havr to see...see him lying there, lifeless. Cas knew it would've been too much for him to handle. "It'll be alright, Sam. We'll find him."