Hey everyone! This is just a teary one shot song-fic to Missing, by Evanescance. Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: Brad Kern is a lot smarter than you may think...that complicates things a bit...lol. Nah, I don't own Charmed. But it's all a matter of time, my friends! (does the evil crazy laugh, men in white suits carry me away). Will I ever learn? lol
Hey! Good news! I've been the first person everto be arrested for stalking Drew! lol. In my dreams I was, at least...No, Darryl, I have no comment. Just that Drew is BEYOND HOT!!
Missing
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
"Would you just stop trying to blame your brother for everything?"
Those words unceasingly ran through his mind, over and over again like the broken record from hell. He'd heard them many times. So why was tonight any different? It's not like anybody cared about him. No, it had been made clear to him long ago that he was unwanted. A shame to the Halliwell name.
"Where do these lies come from, Chris? Why do you try to make Wyatt look bad?"
A small sob escaped him. He'd never told a lie in his entire fourteen years of life. Didn't she know that? His own mother didn't trust him. So he knew that no one would wonder why he wasn't safe in bed tonight, and nobody would guess that he was on the top of the Golden Gate Bridge, listening to the rhythm of the whirring cars beneath him. Piper was too blinded by her pride for her eldest son that she wouldn't be concerned. Paige was always at Magic School, as always, and Phoebe was living with Les in an apartment. They all had other things to worry about.
The harsh wind whipped his face and he cried, wondering for the millionth time why life was so unfair. He felt responsible for those innocents Wyatt had killed in cold blood, but he had no power to stop his brother. The last time he tried, he'd woken up in the middle of Anarctica days later...and that didn't help the innocent in the slightest.
All his life he'd wanted a role model. Somebody who'd care about him, ask him about his day at school, comfort him in those lonely moments. But it was all the same. Sure, he'd met some nice people along the way, but once Wyatt revealed magic, they were afraid of him.
"It's my fault," he wept, knowing that there was nobody to hear him but the fog and wind. It was almost reassuring, not being able to see anything. Everything around him was in ruins...He sighed. Somehow that was all his fault, too.
"Chris, why can't you tell me the truth? What in the world makes you think that Wyatt did any of this? Phoebe, help me deal with him, I just...I can't even look at him anymore!"
Chris found that the memory of this only made it worse. He'd never been one to cry, but tonight was different. Tonight Piper had shrieked at him uncontrollably and said words she'd regret all her life. Tonight Leo had thrown him out of the manor, using his elder powers as force when Chris refused.
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Chris rested his head on the cold, wet pillar of the bridge. The burns still stung where Leo had shocked him. Of course, Leo probably hadn't meant it...but it hurt all the same. Where should he go? He was certain that besides his brother, aunts, uncle and parents that he didn't have any family. Though there was a lingering hope that maybe he'd have a friend out of Phoebe's unborn child.
"That baby will never love me. It'll probably just take after Phoebe and Paige and Mom...Wyatt will be it's role model..." He looked mournfully up at the sky. "Why did you make me? I have no purpose. They don't want me."
"Chris, your mother is so upset. Can't you see that? Are you trying to punish her? Why are you so angry with your brother?"
"Oh Phoebe...if only you knew," he whispered. He shivered. The night was so cold, so uncaring. Everything he'd ever had to deal with in lfe. Why didn't anybody believe him? He kept assuring himself that tomorrow would be another day, another chance. But he was always wrong.
"They hate me. Everyone hates me. My family....my friends...I'm worth nothing. Why am I even here? They say everything happens for a reason." He scoffed quietly through his tears. "Yeah, well, then why did you make a powerless idiot like me? I don't get it! Are you all laughing Up There at the freak you created? Am I a big joke?!"
"I don't think that Wyatt is evil, Chris. In fact, nobody believes you. Why can't you just give up this little charade and focus on what really matters? No matter what you say, Wyatt is a good kid. Nothing can change that." Pheobe had sighed. "You had so much potential, Chris..."
"Potential," he laughed bitterly, letting the word linger on his lips. "Some potential I've got. Not enough to stop Wyatt. Not enough to save those people!"
He coughed, moaning in pain as his wounds bled. "Just not good enough," he muttered. "Would I be their favorite if I was evil, too?"
CHORUS
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
No way. The thought of turning...wasn't even funny anymore. He had no choice but to stay here and try to work things out.
"What is there left to do?" he asked nobody. "Where am I supposed to go? There's nothing left."
"Hey, kiddo...Pheebs and your mom told me about your little...predicament. I don't know what's going on with you. Maybe you're seeing things, I honestly don't know. But listen up, mister. You're going to have to make at least an effort to stop with this madness. You've got to stop lying."
"Not lying, not lying," he moaned, hugging his knees as the wind howled around him. "Not lying...please...trust me..." Finally he broke into uncontrollable sobs. His vision blurred from tears and he didn't care if anybody was looking for him or not. Who would guess that life would take such a sickening twist? Nobody cared.
"They don't care," he sobbed. "They never did...never, never..."
He cried out in pain as the rain started pouding down on his scars.
"You were such a good little boy...what went wrong?"
"Wrong...I'm all wrong..." The words spun in a jumble around his head as he cringed in agony. "Kill me, then. Just kill me! Then I wouldn't be such a nuisance!"
His thoughts drifted to tonight's events.
"Mom, I saw him...down at the park...Mom, he killed that little girl..."
Piper put her head in her hands. "Why, Chris?" she whispered. "Why do you do this to me? Are you angry? Are you jealous of your brother? Why...?"
"Why don't you believe me?!" Chris cried. "It's always about Wyatt, Mom. You're...you're just too stupid to see it!" he finally burst.
"You...you..." Piper growled between clenched teeth. "This is all that I can take from you. I can't take this anymore. Get out."
"Wh-what?"
"Get out of my house, Chris. Get out of my life! Pretend that you were never here!" she shrieked.
Chris too a step back, before responding boldly, "No. I won't. And you wanna now why?" He looked her in they eyes with the coldest, most uncaring look her could muster. "It's because even though I hate you right now, I don't want you to die like all the others."
"I said leave," Piper demanded.
"Who's going to make me?!"
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out:
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
Chris kicked the bridge as hard as he could. Piper hated him. And then Leo...
"I'm going to," Leo boomed. Before Chris could even react, he felt himself cry out, a stabbing, electric pain shooting through him. Leo was attacking him with his elder powers.
"Put me down! Let me go!" he screamed, struggling to release himself. Finally the pain was too much to bear, and he fell limply to the floor.
Phoebe had rushed in at that moment, having visited for dinner. She was shell-shocked, mouth agape in horror. Both she and Piper were petrified at what they had seen, looking at the crumpled fourteen-year-old on the floor.
"Leo..." Phoebe breathed.
But Chris shakily brought himself back to his knees, saying hoarsely, "Go ahead then. Die. We'll see who's left to save you."
"Chris...wait..." Leo pleaded.
Chris shook his head. "I'm done waiting for you all."
Chris shook his head at the irony of it all. He was done waiting for them. Truly, he had tried everything he could, and they just couldn't see it. They couldn't bear to accept the fact that perfect little Wyatt was evil.
And it hurt.
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
All of a sudden he felt himself slowly floating towards the sky. Alarmed by this, he thrashed wildly, but only felt the intense pain shooting back through him. What was happening? He searched frantically for a sign--a demon, a warlock, anything that could be causing this strange phenomenon.
But there was nothing there. He stopped struggling and groaned, wondering what would become of him now. It was pointless to fight. All his life he'd been fighting, and he'd gotten nowhere at all.
He didn't know how long he floated or where he ended up.
"You can't keep him here. This isn't where he belongs," a voice was arguing.
"Wait...I just...I have to..."
"He's not supposed to die, you are! Don't put your own child at risk, Piper. Don't let him die too."
Chris blinked. It was so bright in here, wherever "here" was. In fact, it was almost unnatural. Like it was lifeless and empty. Calm...yet too eerie for words. It wasn't completely white, though; it was too bright for him to see where he was. Was this where the rejects went? he wondered.
"Wait, mother...he's waking up."
Chris shakily rose to his knees to face Piper and Patty, both wearing white robes.
"No..." he whispered. "No, this is exactly what I was trying to prevent...you--you can't die..."
Piper stared at him mournfully, tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Chris. I didn't believe you. None of us did." She let out a sob. "And now...it's too late. It was our own faults for not trusting you. Wyatt killed us all."
Chris found that he could only stare down at his feet. Suddenly it just didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered. "Wyatt's evil. Did he kill me too?"
"No, you're not dead," Patty assured him. "Not yet, at least. Piper...'borrowed' you for a while."
"I just wanted to say...thank you. And that I'm so, so sorry for...for everything we've said and done. I'm proud of you, Chris. More than you'll ever know..." She looked down. "But this is the way it has to be. I love you, Chris."
Those words, right there, he'd been waiting for all of his life. "I love you, too."
And then he was jerked back.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
When he finally woke up on earth, Leo was hovering over him. "You--you had fallen in the lake," he explained. "You were drowning."
Chris sighed. "I know."
"I'm..."
"Sorry. I know. But...I don't care," he said shakily, orbing away.
He knew it the minute he'd opened his eyes that he'd never be able to bear looking at Leo again.
THE END
Pink-Charmed-One