Pleeeease review. And please try to criticize me, cuz there is NO WAY that this is AT ALL perfect.
I'm in pain now. An unimaginable pain. It starts in my back, and spreads slowly throughout my whole entire body, making sure not to miss any of me. And then, I am being crushed. Crushed by the air, crushed by reality, and crushed by the memory of my fathers face; hateful and drunk. The pain throbs inside of me, and I close my eyes tight to try and block it out. But it's no use. I can't run. I never could.
Dally's hand is on my arm, and Ponyboy stands beside me.
Dally tells me that they beat the socs, but I don't hear him, I just know that that is what he's saying. I don't know what I said back, but I hope that I told him that fighting was useless. I hope that I told him never to do it again. Finally, what I had said gets to my brain, and my own words echo in my head. "Fighting ain't no good." Those words. Perfect.
The next thing that I figure, is that I want Pony next to me, and I hope that I had told him. I am not in control anymore. I'm going somewhere that I'll never be able to come out of. My mouth is talking, and all I can do is hope that it was my brain that gathered up the strength to tell it what to say.
I feel Ponyboy next to me, and I feel my mouth moving now. I'm leaving, almost gone, floating away from the pain and the crushing reality.
It's not news to me. The gang will remember today as the day that I died, but that's a lie. I had died long before today. I had died the moment my mother said that she hated me. The moment that my father broke my jaw. The moment that I learned what alcohol did. That is when I died. Today, my body was just catching up.
It's done. My heart has stopped, but I pray to God that I can hold on for a second more, just so that I can hear what I said to Ponyboy. I hope that I told him something that he would remember.
The words finally get to me, and once I hear my own feeble voice in my head, with great exhilaration, I float away from life.
There's nothing now. Nothing but me and the darkness. Me, the darkness, and five little words. "Stay gold, Ponyboy, stay gold."