It was almost time. Roxas would be arriving soon, and then I would be telling him the truth. I was going to tell him that I like him. It was something I had been keeping to myself for a while now, but it was time to come out with the truth.
Roxas's car pulled into my driveway. It was then that the nerves settled in my stomach, but it was too late to turn back now. He was walking up my driveway and he knew I had something important to tell him.
He knocked on the door.
"Door's open!" I called.
The blonde walked in and smiled. "Hey Axel," he greeted me.
"Hey Roxas."
He closed the door. "So, what's up? You sounded almost…eager on the phone." He chuckled a bit.
"Yeah, there's just something I really need to tell you."
"What is it?"
"Well, I've been thinking a lot lately and I came to the realization a while ago that I like you, Roxas," I said, coming right out with it.
And for what seemed like forever, the two of us just sat in silence.
"I'm sorry, come again?" Roxas finally spoke up.
I took a deep breath and quickly let it out. "I like you as more than just a friend, Roxas," I told him again.
"But Axel…" he trailed off. "No. How can that be?"
"What do you mean?"
"You can't like me like me," he denied.
"Why not?"
"Because we're best friends."
I nodded. "Okay. So you obviously don't feel the same way."
"Well…" he sighed, trailing off again. "I don't even know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything."
"Axel, I'm sorry."
"Sorry? Really? That's what you come up with?"
"What else am I supposed to say?"
"I just told you that you don't have to say anything. But you can leave now."
"No. I'm not leaving like this."
"It doesn't matter, Roxas."
"Axel, c'mon, we're best friends."
"But nothing's gonna be the same now."
"That's not true."
"Oh please, yes it is."
He let out another sigh, those blue eyes dropping to the floor. "How did you come to realize that you like me?"
"I don't know. I guess it was a subconscious thing, but it finally just sorta hit me. But again, it doesn't matter anymore."
"But your friendship still matters to me."
Now I sighed. "Roxas, I don't know if I can stay friends with you. I'm tired of being just your friend and I'm not gonna sit on the sidelines and watch you be with other people who aren't me. I can't do that. And I know that must sound selfish, but it hurts too much otherwise."
He shook his head at me. "I'm not allowing you to let our friendship go that easily. I can't believe you're even willing to let it go just like that."
"I'm exhausted of being let down and disappointed, Roxas," I admitted. "Besides, I've learned to let go when I know that I have to."
"But you don't have to let go, Axel."
"You know, you're making this a hell of a lot more difficult than it has to be."
"You can't be serious," he denied. "You really don't think we can still be friends?"
"Not without you continuing to hurt me. And I know you're not meaning to hurt me, but you are nonetheless. And I'm sick of being hurt all the time."
"There's really no way for us to rise above this?"
I only shrugged in reply. "Maybe there is, but first I have to let you go and watch you walk away from me."
He nodded back. "Very well, then." He turned and left.
I went to the window and watched him drive away. And already, I felt empty inside. Of course I still wanted Roxas in my life, but I couldn't bear the suffering of not being able to be with him. I had been through enough torture; I didn't need more. And if that meant letting Roxas and his friendship go, then so be it.