It's the phone ringing that breaks Jeff's gaze from his computer screen. He blinks blearily and fumbles for the button that will connect the vid-phone. I need coffee, he thinks as he hits the button and waits for the call to connect. When it does, Jeff can't help but smirk at the exasperated expression on his best friend, Daniel White's face.
"What are you still doing in the office?" Daniel says, throwing his hands in the air. "No, you know what, don't answer that, I don't want to know. Just so you know, you've just cost me fifty bucks. Penny said that you would be back in your hole already, I thought you'd last until morning."
"I'm not sure what I find more insulting. The fact that I'm so predictable or the fact you two are betting on me behind my back," Jeff says with a frown.
"Relax old man. Besides, if you're upset at me and Penny betting on you, you might want to have a word with your sons…" Jeff rolls his eyes at his friend. He might not be aware of Daniel and Penny making bets, but you can't be a father of six and not know when your children are planning behind your back. Especially if you have a child named Gordon.
"Okay, number one, you are the same age as me so less of the old and two, was there a reason for the call, other than to lose fifty bucks?"
"There is actually. I wanted to know how Abby's doing. Virgil text me earlier saying she seemed okay on the flight home, but I just want to make sure there haven't been any complications." Jeff smiles at the concern in his friend's voice. His children have always been family to Dan; hell, he delivered four of them.
"She's fine Dan, we all are. She was a little stiff after the journey but that's to be expected. The walk to the house soon sorted that out. Apart from that, she seems okay. All of the kids are in bed…"
"And have been for hours now no doubt," Dan interrupts with a knowing smile. Jeff shrugs. "Right, well I'll check in again tomorrow just to make sure but I'm pretty happy that everything's going well. Now you are going to follow your children's example and go to bed. IR has waited this long, it can last one more day. Go on, off with you!"
"I'm not sure who you sound like more; my mother or my wife." Jeff laughs.
"I know for a fact that both Ruth and Lucy would say the same thing. Go. Check on the kids and get some sleep."
"Sir, yes sir," Jeff says with a mock salute before hitting the disconnect button before his friend could reply. A childish move? Yes. But one that invokes a deep sense of satisfaction, even if his friend does have a point. Jeff stretches, wincing as muscles pop before closing his computer. He's distracted himself long enough, and Daniel's brief mention of his children has awoken the urge to check on them all that he's been fighting to supress since dinner. He smiles at the photo of Lucy and the kids that has graced his desk for years. The last picture of her, taken the day before the avalanche.
"Goodnight Lucy. Keep watching over us for me darling."
The house has taken on the eerie quiet that only comes at night; everyone long since in bed. He pauses at the foot of the stairs, basking in the quiet. Other than the faint snores coming from his eldest, the house is quiet. It's a strange sound to hear in the Tracy household, where the only two volumes are loud and louder. Jeff carefully heads upstairs, smiling softly at the open doors that greet him. Having Gordon as a brother and a son has taught them all many valuable lessons; namely to sleep with a closed door. There aren't many things that deter him, but he does have some standards. A closed door being one of them. Usually. To see all the doors wide open brings a smile to his face. His children are here, alive, and safe and willing to face the threat of Gordon to make sure each other are okay. Jeff can't help but wonder how long this truce will last.
He starts with Scott. His firstborn son, his commander, the one who will protect his siblings with his life. The shadows under his son's eyes are dark, darker than he would like. Jeff runs a gentle hand through Scott's hair; his frown deepening when his eldest barely stirs. The stress of the past weeks has weighed all of them down, but none more so than Scott. Jeff knows that the connection between Scott and all his younger siblings is strong; but the bond between Scott, Alan, and Abby more so. Scott raised them when Lucy died and Jeff retreated in to himself and, as such, the connection that was forged during that time is stronger than anything Jeff has ever seen. And he is so grateful for that bond, yet he worries for Scott. His children confide in their eldest brother in a way that they don't with him, and he never did with his mother. And Scott will never turn them away. He will always listen, and always act. His one condition when he joined International Rescue was that he wanted to be the first on the scene. He needed to be the first on the scene so that he could assess the damage for himself. So he could know exactly what he was sending his brothers into. And Jeff had agreed, because he knows his son and he knows that without this, Scott would worry and fret and that would filter down to the others. International Rescue works because Scott is there first; because he is there and he can panic and worry and fret all he likes in peace before contacting his brothers with the calm façade that they all know and respond to. The weight that Scott carries every single day worries Jeff more than he will admit. And he knows it worries John as well. Scott carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and never has that been more apparent than recently. With all of them scarred, some more physically than others, Scott has performed his job as oldest brother beautifully. And the weight of that is still clear even now as his son sleeps. His years as the oldest, and his years as a pilot in the Air Force have taught his son how to wake at the slightest touch. Jeff sighs softly, before pressing a soft kiss in Scott's hair – never mind the fact he's a grown man now; he'll always be the little boy running around the living room with a toilet tube rocket to him.
"Thank you, son. For everything that you have done over the years. For stepping up when I needed you the most, for putting the wellbeing of your siblings before yours. I don't say it enough, but never doubt that I think it every single day even if I don't say it as often as I should. And I'll change that son, I will. You will know how much you mean to me; you all will. For now, rest. You're going to need it when Gordon and Alan have recovered enough to team up once more." He sweeps his hand over his son's hair one last time. "Sleep well, Scooter." He whispers, slowly leaving the room.
His next stop is John. The sight of his second son in his own bed is a rare sight, the sight of the sling holding his arm in place even rarer. While John is Scott's confident, Jeff is John's and vice versa. Another son who bears the weight of the family's problems but, Jeff thinks he is better suited to the task. Where Scott will listen and act, John will listen and think. It's why the two work so well together in the field, they both temper each other. John restrains Scott from acting rashly and Scott encourages John to act sooner rather than later. His role in International Rescue means that Jeff doesn't get to see John as often as he would like. Despite what some might think, he's not delusional; he knows all too well how lonely it is up in space. And John knew it too, before he agreed to manning Thunderbird 5. Yet in the same way that Scott needs to be first to the accident scene, John needs to be the one to make first contact with those in need. Talking to people was something John struggled with as a child. Jeff smiles at the memory of the quiet little boy who, instead of joining his big brother on the dancefloor at a birthday party when he six, he instead tucked himself in a corner and carried on reading his book. Despite this shyness, John has always been a confident to everyone he meets. He's a comforting presence, Jeff can testify that himself. He listens and absorbs and doesn't jump to conclusions. John has the same desire to help that his siblings have, but he knows that his strengths lie in that first contact. In calming people, down in a crisis so he can get as much information about the disaster as he can. He protects Scott in the same way that Scott protects the others. John gathers as much information as he can and passes it on to Scott and then monitors everything he can until his brother's land on the island. His quiet little boy was all alone on his Bird. Busy protecting everyone else.
"I promise you John, we're going to protect you from now on. You are my priority and I am never going to put you in a situation where you are not protected ever again." He pulls the covers up around John a little more. "Sweet dreams my star man."
Virgil's room smells like oil paints and Jeff can't help but admire the canvas propped on the easel by the balcony doors. The reds and oranges and purples that have been blended and mixed to form the sunset from earlier is beautiful, but the six silhouettes at the bottom of the canvas are stunning. Jeff wonders if he can persuade Virgil to hang it in his office tomorrow. His middle child is curled in a ball, his breathing deep and even; the remnants of his painting session still evident from the splatters on his shirt, his cheek and even his hair. His son creates the most beautiful pieces, but has never mastered the art of keep the paint on the canvas. His love of art and music is inherited from his mother. Of all his children, Virgil took to the two hobbies his wife loved like a duck to water. Unlike his mother, Virgil has always been the hardest of his children to read. Virgil covers his worries by focusing on others. If any of his siblings are hurt, Virgil is the one who takes primary care of them. When Gordon had his hydrofoil accident, Virgil spent every minute he had reading medical journals and encyclopaedias so he had a better understanding of his condition. By the time Gordon was discharged, Virgil was set on his decision to become a qualified medic. It's just as well, considering the number of injuries his boys come home with. But Virgil uses this as a distraction. The more severe the injury, the more closed off he becomes and the harder it is to get him to open up. John is the best at getting Virgil to talk, although his methods are a closely guarded secret. Jeff can't help but wonder how this is all affecting his middle son. Now that everyone is out of harm's way, Virgil will begin to close himself off. After weeks of being able to help Abby, Alan, and John heal after the incident with the Hood, Virgil will need another outlet. Perhaps an afternoon at the beach boulder hopping will remind his middle child of the importance of spending more time with his family, not less. His paintings might be beautiful, but there are only so many paintings Jeff can house on the island at any one time.
"We're all safe Virge. We're all here, we're all alive and we're all safe. You've done your job spectacularly well as always son. Rest now. You're going to need it now that Gordon has access to prank supplies again."
Gordon is a sprawler. More than that, he's an active sprawler. Jeff laughs softly at the sight of his fourth born son. As usual, the covers have been kicked off the bed and Gordon is still on the move. Long used to his son's active sleeping patterns, Jeff doesn't even try to pick up the covers and tuck his son back in, knowing all too well that the moment the covers are placed on his body, they will be back on the floor in a matter of minutes. Jeff has always found this habit amusing, although it was definitely less amusing when Gordon had a nightmare as a child and shared the bed with his mother and father to chase the bad dreams away. Both parents would be woken several times with an elbow to the cheek and a leg in the stomach. But Jeff vowed he would never complain about his son's sleeping habits ever again after the hydrofoil accident. Seeing his son strapped to a hospital bed, body still, not even a flicker of movement, terrified Jeff more than he will ever admit. The idea of Gordon never sprawling in his sleep again was a thought that broke Jeff's heart. It was interesting how it wasn't Gordon's older brothers who motivated him to fight the diagnosis. It was his younger brother. Alan looked his big brother in the eye and reminded him that Gordon had promised to take him go-karting when he came home. And he couldn't break a promise. Something so small, so insignificant to anyone else, was all it took to remind Gordon of everything he had to fight for. He was a big brother too, with a little brother and sister who needed him fighting fit. It took time. A lot of time and tears and angry words but, eventually, Gordon was strong enough to take his little brother go-karting. And was strong enough to complain the whole way home when said little brother beat him. By a mile. With Gordon's rediscovered mobility, his personality returned. His humour which had been so sorely missed by everyone during his physiotherapy returned as if it had never left. And within twenty-four hours of being back on the island, Gordon had already managed to make Scott wish (half-heartedly admittedly) that Gordon was still lying in a hospital bed. They never did find out how Gordon managed to dye Scott's shower water blue in under an hour of arriving home.
"Sweet dreams Gords. We're going to need your sense of humour now more than ever. Thank you for taking care of Alan these past few days. I know he's enjoyed spending more time with you, and I know you've missed it too. There's a light in his eyes again Gords and that's thanks to you. It's not often that I thank you for teaming up with your brother, but it has brought me and your brothers more joy than you know to see the two of you scheming again."
Alan, his youngest boy. His room reflects him more than he knows; the toy race cars he used to play with line the shelves, between chemistry and computing textbooks. A little boy who is quickly growing up to be a man. Like with the others, Jeff sits on the bed stroking his son's hair. Unlike the others, Alan still retains the youthful innocence when he sleeps. His relationship with Alan has been…strained at best, although non-existent might be a better word for it, Jeff thinks with a wince. All any father wants is the best for his children and Alan is so much like Scott, that sending him to boarding school seemed like a natural choice. Alan will talk to anyone and thrives in a setting where he can do so. He has done since he was a child; asking dog walkers if he can pet their dog in Central Park from the moment he could form the words. And yet, although sending him away is the best choice for him, Jeff understands how doing so feels, especially when his sister gets to stay at home. And, despite his best intentions, Jeff can't lie to himself any longer, it is easy to forget his youngest son might be waiting for a phone call after a rescue, waiting to hear everyone got back okay. Abby can see for herself and, will try her hardest to let Alan know, but it shouldn't be up to Abby to let Alan know. His little boy has grown up so much since Spring Break began. The beginnings of the same shadows that are so prominent on Scott's face are starting to show on Alan's and Jeff's heart twinges at the sight of them. No child should have to go through everything that Alan has. His little boy who has always been desperate to follow in his big brother's footsteps has learnt that, sometimes, being older isn't always better. And that, maybe, being a Thunderbird isn't everything he imagined it would be. All Jeff can do for his youngest now is be there for him, to promise him that things will be different and follow through on those promises. He's let Alan down for too long now but he is determined that he will not lose his little boy. Not now, not after everything. He has no idea how proud Jeff is of him. While at the hospital, Jeff had delicately (or as delicately as a man with the last name Tracy possibly can) broached the subject of school, and the possibility of Alan enrolling on the same home education programme that Abby and Tin Tin use. His son had refused. His reason? "You told me no shortcuts dad. I'm not going to take any. I'm going to earn my place on the team; the right way. And going back to Wharton's is the way to do that."
"I am so proud of you Alan. So proud. You had the opportunity to take the easy way out, to stay at home, but you didn't take it. But you don't have to earn your place on the team. The place has been there, waiting for you to fill it from day 1 and I'm sorry I didn't make that clear to you before. I'm going to do better Alan, we all are. I promise you, you are never going to doubt your place in this family again. I promise."
His final stop is arguably the hardest. His youngest, tucked in to her own bed, the balcony doors ajar, blowing thin wisps of her blonde hair over her face as she sleeps. From a distance, nothing is out of the ordinary. Yet when Jeff moves closer, the problems facing his little girl are still numerous. Her once tan skin is still too pale, with purple shadows of exhaustion prominent under her eyes. The weight loss is…scary if he's being honest, and he knows that if he looked under the covers, he would see the lump from the bandage covering the still healing bullet wound in her stomach. His little girl, his last gift from his wife, was almost lost to them all and he's not convinced she's come back from her ordeal yet. Jeff hopes that now that she's home, her recuperation will progress faster than if she had remained in the hospital, but there are always worries gnawing at the back of his mind. Although what he told Daniel earlier was true, it wasn't wholly true. Abby dealt with the flight home remarkably well, and yes, she was still when she got up. She was also tired. More tired than he had seen her in a long time and, even without the medication that Virgil had given her before bed earlier, she still slept for a couple of hours between returning home and eating dinner. Jeff is sure he's just being over protective. Daniel did tell him to expect the changing time zones and the stress of the flight to have an impact on his daughter, but Jeff hadn't expected it to happen so fast. He thinks about Alan, and his eagerness to join International Rescue. That enthusiasm is still there, although it has been tempered slightly since Spring Break. He can't help but be grateful that his youngest seems to have no desire to join the team too, although there will always be a spot open for her if she changes her mind. Having all his boys risking their lives is enough to send him prematurely grey, he doesn't need to add Abigail into the mix. It seems that her first experience of International Rescue is enough to sate her appetite for adventure for now. And he prays to the Lucy that it stays that way.
"We're going to get through this baby girl. I promise you. I know the world suddenly seems a much scarier place, but I promise you I won't let anyone hurt you or your brothers again. I know home doesn't feel so safe anymore, but when you make mistakes, the most important thing to do is to learn from them. That's what we're going to do sweetheart. We're going to heal and rebuild and learn from what happened. I'm just sorry that you got hurt in the process." Jeff sighs. "I love you baby girl. So, so much. Don't you ever doubt that for a second."
Having checked on his children, Jeff makes his way to his own room, making sure to follow his children's example and leave his own door open. Just in case. Instead of heading to bed though, Jeff heads out to the balcony. Leaning against the railing, his gaze travels to the stars that he has loved since he was a child. The stars he dreamed about, the stars he's visited, the stars that almost cost him his life. And yet, the majesty of those glittering orbs in the sky, don't seem threatening. They feel like home. His eyes roam across the sky until they land on the brightest sky in the most eastern corner. He smiles at it.
"They're all okay Lucy. Our little stars are okay." He sighs. "Am I doing the right thing Luce, keeping IR going? I almost lost them all. How can I let them risk their lives again? How can I risk losing them again?" There's a pause, where the only sound is the waves crashing on the beach in the distant and then, a soft breeze, behind his shoulder and the faint smell of orchids wafts over him. "I know Luce, I know. It's a part of them, all of them. But I'm their father before I'm their commander. I worry about them and I always will." Another pause. "And I know you would be even worse than I am." The breeze wafts again, stronger, and more insistent this time. "I suppose you're right. They're not children anymore, no matter how much I might wish they were. Even Abby is growing up so fast. They want to keep going and I can't deny them their choice, even if I want to. Just…promise me that you will keep looking over them when they're off the island." Another light breeze caresses his cheek; the briefest kiss that turns the sad smile into a more genuine one. Behind him, the open door bangs gently and he chuckles. "I know, I know. I should be in bed too. I'm going. I just…wanted to say goodnight properly. It feels like years since I last stood on this balcony and spoke to you. I love you my darling. I always will."
With one last look at the stars, Jeff Tracy turns and heads inside. Today was hard, and tomorrow will likely be harder still. But Tracy's thrive on difficult situations; and Jeff is sure that his family will come through it stronger than ever. But a father is allowed a few doubts in the privacy of his own room (although Scott may disagree). But, when morning comes, Jeff will get up and carry on. The rebuilding will properly start and, soon, his family will return to normal. It won't be easy and it won't be quick. But it will happen. Because they are Tracy's; and a Tracy never gives up.
Yes, it is I. This is as much a surprise for me as well as you! But, after the sad news that Bill Paxton has passed away, the idea for this fic popped in to my mind. Rest in peace Bill, thank you for bringing Jeff to life for us all. I hope you enjoyed this fic - I apologise for any errors; this is literally the first draft but I like how it turned out.