Ever since I was young, I looked after Sammy like my life depended on it. My dad…well he wasn't exactly what you would call a model dad but I had always looked up to him. Even when he never showed on Christmases and birthdays, he was still the hero that I needed in my life. But I realised that this heroism was what Sammy wanted from me – ever since I can remember. I would take care of him, making sure that he was alright. When I told him about what Dad did – hunting – he turned his back on me and sobbed all night, and I thought for that one time, that maybe Sammy didn't want me or need me anymore. I soon realised that this revelation made Sam need me more than ever. Throughout the years, I constantly saved his life and turned in my soul for him to return to me for another time. I couldn't live without him and he couldn't live without me. When I came back from Hell (Castiel, I thank you for that despite everything) I realised that Sam had changed. Demon blood in his veins, and evil in his eyes, I realised that Sam was distancing himself more and more from me every day. It broke me in half. Everything that we had built up…our relationship that had gotten stronger and stronger was being destroyed all down to that damned Lilith. When I told him that if he walked out that door, I wouldn't want him to come back, I thought deep down that Sam would be loyal, and come to me and tell me that he wouldn't do it anymore. That he would kill Ruby and remove all the demon blood from himself by going to the panic room again… even to give me a hug and tell me that we would be brothers again, and be back to normality again…but he left. He walked out that door with such a cold look on his face that I will never forget. He left me, and he had removed me from his heart and mind. I was no longer his big brother, the Dean Winchester that he looked up to and respected, but I was just something that was in his way – in his way of defeating Lilith and unleashing the evil that was inside of him. And I just don't know what to do anymore.
I've lost my little brother…my Sammy.
What am I going to do?