June 20, 2011
I love you, but it seems that our relationship can never happen. I place a letter into your locker everyday, along with some type of gift that I know you will love, but you never answer me or response in any type of way. I know you know who I am, isn't it obvious to you? We've been going to the same school for the past five years, sitting next to each other in homeroom, and even riding the bus home together, although on different parts of the bus. I know everything about you, your favorite food, music, color, and even about your unfortunate home life. I know the way that your mother struggles to place food on the table, to pay rent, and to take care of you. I know how desperate you are to see her happy! How you try to work so hard in school and the numerous part time jobs you have so she doesn't have to struggle. So that she can be proud. Why couldn't you have seen that I also love, how I give you things that you need. How I work just as desperately on your behalf. Don't you know I could have given you things that only a lover could. But it seems you don't care, at least not about us…or me, so I'll disappear and remove some of this weight that I've been placing on you. In death I'll work to make you stronger, and will be your heavenly guide to grant your every wish that this world has so wrongfully denied you. My love and my soul will be on the roof top waiting for you at our faithful hour of 4:30.
With Great love,
Your love Naraku
I looked at this letter, thinking it would be just like the ones from before. Full of sweet words and admirations that only a close observer… or stalker would know. At first, I was a little weird out by the romantic intensity of the letters, but as time passed, I come to appreciate the great effort and love put into these long letters.
Despite majority opinion, and however rude I may be to people, I still hold great respect for a person who willingly puts their feeling on the line for me to pick apart and disregard. However, in this case, I've grown fond of the affection, and see each one as a little work of art. So I've made it part of my routine to read each letter carefully on the bus ride to work and to keep them safely placed in my book bag to glance at once in a while. Everyday with out fail, I received one from a boy in my class named Naraku.
I see him as I come from my thirty minute, daily refuge visit to the men's bathroom during the last half hour of math class .I watch as he tries to sneak into my locker and place his letters and gifts quickly in an area where I will find them. After he shuts my locker, I usually rush towards him, causing him to blush and panic a little. I never confront him about it though, and just greet him bluntly, causing him to become embarrassed, and in some ways a little disappointed. I'd tell him how I felt one day soon, maybe even tomorrow. Despite the blunt behavior, I ask him if he's coming with me to get on the bus, and normally wait patiently as he quickly gets his things.
As I pick up the letter, and small gift, I quickly close my locker and look up to see that he's a lot farther away than usual, and that he's not really looking at me. He looks back though, after a moment as he opens up the stairwell door to the third floor, and rushes off. A little confused, and I check the time to see if I should wait for him or follow. He must have forgotten something, but I don't have time to wait. It's almost 4:30 and I have to be out of this school and on my way to the bus stop to catch the bus, for work. Deciding that I'll just have the bus driver wait for him, than go after him and miss it myself, I head down the stairs to the first floor and on my way out of the school. To my surprise, there's a bit of ruckus outside. Some girls are screaming for someone to help as the large, growing crowd filled with both students and parents continues to direct their attention to the top of the school. I look up as well and have to squint because of the sun. I see the person and recognize it immediately. My mind races as I think back. 'I should have gone after him…' Moving forward, I lock eyes with Naraku and my heart stopped as he grinned at me and leap from the building.