"All of this stuff we've talked about this hour...is not just about a movie...it's about an anger problem."
It's 11:06 p.m., March 7th, and I can't sleep. I'm so dumbfounded I don't know how to feel, so I just cried. The tears feel sticky on my face now.
"We can't because of me...we can't because of me...we can't because of me-"
"But you just become hateful and mean!...I trusted you. And you just…"
My parents are fighting again. They always fight for some stupid reason, and I just want to escape. Escape from school. Escape from fighting. Escape from my problems. That's why I always want to picture my life as a movie, or a book. Not a real person, a character that everyone likes or feels for.
It's morning. I picked up the book The Outsiders from my school library yesterday. I wish I was like Ponyboy. He kept his mouth shut, but was ready to fight if anyone did anything to him or his friends.
I wish I had the guts to run away when I was hurt. And the guts to come back. I wished I cared about school, but I do, I'm just...just sick of it all.
I want to be like Ponyboy. Or Johnny.
Johnny and Dally were my favorite characters in The Outsiders, along with Ponyboy, but they just died. They died. It was awful.
I want to write stories like S. E. Hinton, but I don't come up with my own ideas without copying someone else.
My cousin got me this shirt that says, "I am a writer. Anything you say or do can be used in a story." So, I guess I am writing about what my parents did. That and my feelings.
I read The Outsiders in one whole day. I just couldn't put it down. I'm dying to watch the movie. I know all the characters aren't real, but I wonder what Ponyboy would feel like if he read this. Someone who wants to be like him. I'm fifteen going on sixteen. I'll be sixteen in June, but still.
I couldn't imagine both of my parents dying. At first, I thought Ponyboy's name was dumb, but the more I read it, it turned out to be a cute name. Anyways, until I watch the movie, I'm going to read the book over and over. I'll outbeat anyone who has read The Outsiders. I bet I could read it ten, or twenty times, and I still wouldn't get bored. I want to know that book upsidedown and backwards like Steve knows cars. (If you read The Outsiders, you'll know what I'm talking about.)
My pen is a bit wobbly, so that's why my handwriting is a little messed up in some parts, and the fact of I was using my left hand to write. (I was being lazy.)
I better get to cleaning my room. I have to get to school.
Avianna McKeehan shoved a couple of things under her bed, but that's just what teenagers do.
She sat down to read The Outsiders for the second time-but couldn't get past the second page without a chore. It's always, "Do this, or do that." And if she just complained once or twice,-another chore. Her parents said that they were her age they didn't even think about giving their parents grief. (That's what they called it.) Why? Because they said that they were way more mature than she was. But, I doubt it, she thought to herself. It's like in Back to the Future when Marty's mom told her kids all the stuff they shouldn't do, only to find out that she did the exact same things she was telling them not to do. That's why she just wants to escape. But it's not enough pressure to run away though. She sat down to write in her diary.
I can't wait to get out of school tomorrow, 'cause today is Thursday, and our school does a one-hour dismissal every Friday. It's awesome.
I'm going to save up enough money to buy The Outsiders book and the movie. I think I've become an Outsiders addict, and I used to be a Warriors addict. (Well, I'm still a Warrior addict, it's just toned down a bit.(Also, thank you Ponyboy, for helping me come up with something to call my obsessions.) Anyway, Warriors is a book that is about cats fighting. Sounds dumb? If you said yes in front of my face, I would have screamed at you, "It's not you idiot!" You have to read it to see what I'm talking about. You'll get hooked too. I think that The Outsiders is just a hairline better than Warriors. Maybe it's the fact that it explains everything at the end of the book, it doesn't go on for at least five-hundred books and then some. I guess I just got bored of it.
She started to read The Outsiders again, but she couldn't get past the fifth page. She was so tired of chores, chores, and more chores. She wanted to escape. She sighed.
"Oh how I wished I was in The Outsiders," she sighed. She wish she could walk alongside Ponyboy and his friends and save them-save Johnny, and Dally. Her two favorite characters other than Ponyboy. As if she could have, could have been a character in a book, that book. Save them. Save Johnny and Dally.
Suddenly, she felt shaky. Her face felt flustered. Her head was dizzy. "Ugh," she began. "I'm sick." Then, she rubbed her eyes, and kept them closed until the dizziness went away.
When she opened her eyes, she was in a different chair. Avianna had just thought of when Bryon, from That was Then, This is Now, when he said he would kill Ponyboy. "No," she said out loud to herself. "Ponyboy can't die. But then again, everyone good dies."
Ponyboy and Johnny were in that same candy store. It sounded like she was on the phone with someone. Ponyboy's eyes were as wide as Johnny's when they heard it. She closed the thought. "Stupid guy." She walked over to the candy counter and asked the man there, "Could you please tell me where I am? I'm new in this area and I missed the sign of the city and I was wondering which one I was in."
"Well you're in Tulsa dear. Tulsa Oklahoma."
Avianna felt dizzy and she managed to get out a, "Thank you" before she passed out.