Rating: M for strong and suggestive language and mature themes
Warnings: BL/yaoi/slash/whatever you prefer to call the rampant homosexual frolicking of characters encouraged by twisted fan writers. Not an overly serious fic. Not Beta'd.
Summary: At an interlude in the Kira case, Light and L have a discussion to define their exact relationship. LightxL
A/N: One of the many Death Note stories in my head begging to be written. My computer's hard drive crashed recently and I lost umpteen zillion stories that I had stored on it of which I neglected to back up anywhere else. So, despite the fact that I have another posted DN fic still in progress, it will be a while before I can get that one back to where I'm happy with it again, and this is a good distraction in the mean time.
The Way We Are (1/4)
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"Yagami-kun wants what?"
L's head actually came up from his laptop. His expression was as bland as if Light had merely requested tempura udon be added to the following day's lunch menu, but Light took several quick steps back from him. The handcuffs between them jingled his mild alarm.
The expression might have been as blank as ever, but he hadn't been expecting the startlement he heard in L's tone, and he certainly hadn't been expecting to receive the man's full attention, as L was adept at dividing it and usually did. It was disconcerting whenever it fell on him, and he mentally commanded himself not to give in to the urge to fidget or avert his eyes.
He'd broached the subject, after all, so he couldn't back down.
He didn't bother with repeating himself because he knew perfectly well that L had heard him the first time - L might look like he wasn't listening, but he actually heard everything that happened around him. So Light focused on defending his position instead.
"Well," he replied, "I mean, it's not unreasonable. I only said so because I am your boyfriend."
"Are you?" said L, and Light frowned at him.
He was firm when he said,"Yes, I am. Even though you never actually asked me."
L stared back without the slightest featural indication of repentance at Light's rebuke. Light almost sighed, but he remained undaunted.
"You did say that you feel "great affection" for me," he continued, "and I never said I don't feel anything for you."
"Besides, we do everything together now. We're chained together, we sleep in the same bed, shower at the same time. I know exactly how much sugar to add to your tea whenever I make it. That makes me your boyfriend."
L never even blinked when he said, "All right," to Light's challenging words like he was agreeing to a contract more than an emotional attachment. As if he hadn't been the one to approach Light and admit, after overhearing several fellow students at To Oh make unkind comments on how that strange Ryuga Hideki was always trailing after Yagami Light like a lovesick puppy, that he felt something very much like love for Light.
"And so," said Light.
"So?"
Light released his frustration in a huff.
"So I don't think it's unreasonable that we...sleep together."
L cocked his head to one side like a curious Spaniel and brought his thumb up to nibble on as he stared at Light.
"Yagami-kun said we already do that."
Light gaped for a moment and then leveled a glare at him.
"I said we sleep in the same bed," he spluttered with indignation. "That is not the same thing, Ryuuzaki. You know what I mean. Sex. Or at least kissing or something. We've never done that. You're being deliberately obtuse!"
"I don't know what Yagami-kun is talking about."
And the fact that L was suddenly avoiding his eyes as he voiced a denial that was an outright lie in response to Light's last accusation was enough to worry Light out of being angry with him.
There was no visible flush across the man's pale cheeks, but Light was afraid that he'd embarrassed him in some tremendous way, even though he was trying to be very mature by having the conversation in the first place. Two men of their age and intellect should be capable of having a rational conversation about sex, since it was only a biological process.
"Hey, Ryuuzaki, I'm sorry," he said the minute the man averted his gaze, and moved closer again.
"I didn't mean to offend you. Is it because you've never had sex with anyone before? It doesn't matter to me - "
L looked back up again.
He didn't appear to be offended at all, really, Light thought. Actually, the offense looked more like droll amusement.
"Yagami-kun thinks I'm a virgin?" he said when he decided to interrupt. "What would cause him to make an assumption like that?"
Light's confusion caused him to hesitate quite openly as he regarded L.
He was busy noting that L didn't say he wasn't a virgin, just asked what made Light think so, even if the implication was there that he was no such thing. He seemed fairly serious. Given his age, Light would have expected that he wasn't, except that it was L, which, upon further reflection, wasn't a very solid reason.
"Well," he replied, trying not to sound too awkward in the way he was taken with surprise by the solemn way L was watching him.
"You - you're a world famous detective known for never showing your face to anyone. And you told me that I'm your first friend, so you can't have met many people. ...Unless you were lying about that to get me to feel guilty enough to admit to being Kira."
"Yagami-kun is my first friend," L assured him when Light's words made it plain how upset he would have to be if the detective had merely been making a devious ploy.
"But," he continued, "the last time I checked, it was not requisite that one need be the friend of a sex partner. Also, though I am mostly content in keeping to myself, I sometimes go out when I feel the desire. There is nothing in my appearance that would suggest I am a world famous detective, as I'm sure you'd agree, and I have more sense than to act in a suspiciously paranoid way when in the public eye, or to go around introducing myself as L if I didn't wish it to be known."
"Oh."
Of course.
Light felt himself actually blush at the demonstration of ignorance he'd made. Thankfully L didn't appear interested in taunting him about the lack of consideration he'd given the matter.
He thought it over now.
"So, you're really not a virgin."
"No, Yagami-kun, I am not."
"Then what's the deal over sleeping with me?" he demanded. "I'm attractive. And I'm old enough, and I'm certainly consenting if I'm asking."
"Ah," said L, resuming biting at his nail. "It would be because I don't like sex, Yagami-kun."
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A/N: So, now that I've (hopefully) provided mild entertainment with this offering, is it fair enough to ask for your reviews to entertain me while I busy myself writing the more interesting chapter wherein L and Light delve into the real issues? )
Also, as a side note, I think I invented several words in this story, and even as an English Ed. major, I can't bring myself to care. If Doctor Suess and Tolkien can do it, so can I, dammit.