Socks!
Summary: Totally random Contestshipping versus Hoennshipping one-shot that may also contain Sockshipping. Very funny, something that Contestshippers and Hoennshippers alike will laugh at. I can't say anything else; it'll spoil the plot. WARNING, Drew bashing and Brendan bashing.
May was standing in the middle of the forest, reading a map. She was very, very lost. Drew all of a sudden "happened" to be walking the same way (we all know he practically stalks May).
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed May. "Oh. It's just you."
"Whatever," said Drew. He flicked his hair in that weird way of his because he's too cool to say more. He picked up May and swung her over his shoulder in a fireman's hold. May beat on his back.
"Put me down!" she yelled. "Put me down! This isn't funny! What do you think you're doing?"
Taking you to the next town, duh," said Drew, as calmly as ever. When they reached the next town, Drew put her down and walked away. May was so freaked out; she ran around and stopped by a bakery.
"Hi, May!" exclaimed Brendan, who happened to be in the same bakery.
May, relieved to see a normal person (which means anyone not Drew) replied, "Hi, Brendan! What brings you here?"
"Gyms and the like," said Brendan smoothly. May giggled. All the Contestshipping supporting, Brendan-bashing authors ran up to him with their thirty zillion Misty-style mallets, and chased him out of the bakery.
"Get him!" shouted the biggest Brendan-basher of them all, who I will call Emma (made up person).
Meanwhile, on a street outside a sock store, Drew was sitting on the curb of a sidewalk. He rolled up his pants, revealing his hairy green legs (as in the hairs are green). He paid no attention to his legs. Drew stared at his favorite pair of socks, which were purple with green polka dots. He had two loves in his life: May and his socks. Neither overpowered the other. Drew made a mental note in his head to buy May a matching pair of socks similar to his, maybe white with red polka dots or red with black polka dots. Drew walked into the sock store to find such a pair.
"WE HATE YOU!" yelled the Brendan bashers, running down the same street.
May was still at the bakery, trying to pick out which bread to buy.
Drew walked up to the shop assistant and asked, "Could you help me find a pair of women's socks with the same design as mine, but in different colors?"
Brendan was running toward a dead end, and the bashers were still giving chase…
"Hmm…" said May. "What should I choose, whole wheat or rye?"
"Perfect!" exclaimed Drew, as the assistant held up the seventieth pair of socks. "I'll take them!"
Brendan ran into the dead end, and with nowhere to go, the bashers, led by Emma, thwacked him over the wall and blasted off like Team Rocket usually does.
"I know, I want a baguette!" exclaimed May.
"Thank you," said the exasperated baker. "Now go away and have a nice day!"
Drew walked to the park, at the same time May set off for it, and Brendan was soaring towards it. They all arrived at the exact same spot at the same time.
Drew dropped down on his knee, held out the socks, and asked, "May, will you be my girlfriend?"
Brendan started wailing because he didn't think he'd have a chance.
May said, "No, I don't like you that way."
Drew got up and said, "That's okay."
Drew pocketed the socks and walked away. Brendan looked up in hope. Maybe he still had a chance!
"Oh, Brendan, I've just realized I love you!" exclaimed May. Brendan inwardly celebrated.
A long time later, they got married and lived happily ever after.
What happened to Drew, you may ask? Well, he dedicated his life to socks from that day forth. In fact, he tried to marry his socks, but it was illegal to do so, so he didn't. As a wedding gift, he gave May and Brendan a pair of socks each, and a cologne and perfume set called Eau de Chaussettes (which is French for Water of Socks). He lived happily ever after, too.
Oh! I almost forgot about Emma and her basher friends! They gave up and all became Drew fan girls (which gives you more reason to hate them). They were locked up for invasion of privacy.
The End
Lol, my second fic here! Again, criticizm welcome, but not the type that basically says, "OMG Your story sucks!!!!" Thank you. Did the ending surprise you?
-Kay