Captain James T. Kirk hurtled over a railing and dodged between two Starfleet ensigns, who parted in surprise at his abrupt appearance. Screams sounded at his rear, filling the hallways he had left behind him. He clambered down a set of stairs as fast as his legs would carry him, ignoring stares and protests. Up ahead was the hangar. If he could make it there, he could lose them, escape to the safety of his beloved Enterprise. He careened around the corner, his boots skidding on the apparently newly-waxed surface. He made it into the hangar, but the shrieks and screams were still loud behind him. His hazel eyes scanned the area for a familiar face, anyone that could help him – and thought he'd collapse in relief when he saw the dark-haired, blue clad form of his First Officer.

"SPOCK!"

The Vulcan looked up from his PADD to see his captain racing towards him. He'd been running for at least 20.3 minutes – he was fatigued, sweaty and obviously distressed. He was in trouble, but Spock was uncertain of the cause. A quick observation of the captain's movements convinced him that he was not hurt in any way.

"Tell Scotty to beam us up! FAST!" he shouted, still some distance away.

Without a question, Spock whipped out his communicator. "Prepare beam-up for myself and the captain. As quickly as possible, Mr. Scott."

"Aye, mister Spock."

Kirk skidded to a halt before the Vulcan, and was about to gasp out a "thanks" when a shrill scream pierced the hangar.

Spock could not miss how violently Kirk flinched, and had he not been Vulcan, he would surely have done the same. His dark eyes sought out the source of the offending noise – some sort of commotion at the front of the hangar. His mind filed through different scenarios, different races that made those noises and could present a threat to his captain, but he needed look no farther than the hangar entrance.

A crowd of young women, dressed in varying colors – mostly gold - with virtual posters flashing "KIRK" in their arms were gathered there. Suddenly one of them looked their way and shrieked, "THERE HE IS!"

Spock glanced at his captain, whose face had gone pale. The youngest captain in the 'fleet had attracted the eyes of hundreds of women during his short career, and while he knew Jim Kirk liked spending time with an attractive woman as much as the next man, Spock could certainly understand how a crowd of hyperactive screaming girls could be, as Humans said, a "turn off."

"Mr. Scott," Spock said sternly into the communicator, eyeing the crowd.

"I'm goin' as fast as I can, mister Spock!" an exasperated Scottish voice replied.

Kirk started taking steps backward, ready to bolt. The Vulcan would defend his captain if need be, although he was doubtful about how much physical harm the females would actually cause him. He was certain Jim could handle it, but he was not going to let his captain undergo undue stress if it could be avoided.

Spock studied the crowd. They were closing in fast, and from this distance his Vulcan ears could pick up some of their garbled screams.

"I can't believe it!"

"Can we catch him?"

"Captain KIRK!"

"Hurry!"

"OH MY GOSH, IT'S MISTER SPOCK!"

This last statement, yelled by two girls dressed in blue, caused him to involuntarily step backwards. "Now, Mister Scott."

Almost instantly he felt the familiar tingle of the transport beam.

"Oh, thank God. Hurry, Scotty," he heard the captain whisper frantically.

Just before they completed beam up, the girls reached them, and suddenly faded away. Their feet landed on the familiar surface of the transporter chamber, and they exchanged looks before Jim dissolved into uncontrollable fits of relieved laughter.

Inspired by Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" (I KNOW she's crazy. Her music is catchy.) "I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me papa-paparazzi…promise I'll be kind, but I won't stop until that boy is mine…"

If I had the materials, people and knowledge of how to do it, I would SO make a music video of that. I can just imagine Kirk running through a Starfleet base, hiding under one of McCoy's stretchers, and Spock helping him escape to the Enterprise. SO hilarious. I can see the whole thing in my head when I listen to that song.