Summary: The Golden Trio is eating Fudge, and Umbridge completely overreacts. No one ever said she was smart...

Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.

Author's Note: I hope y'all enjoy this! This is definitely a crack!fic. Please feel free to review and leave constructive criticism. :)

"Oh my god, this is sooooooo delicious!"

"I know!"

"We should eat this more often!"

"Definitely!"

Umbridge stopped as she heard the conversation. The food they were eating was delicious? Oooooo! She wondered what food they eating. She just loved to eat! Bread, sweets, lasagna... everything!

"Merlin! My new favorite past time is eating Fudge!"

Umbridge gave a little scream at Hermione's words. They were eating Fudge?! Cornelius Fudge? The bloody Minister of Magic?! She couldn't allow the man who signed her paycheck be eaten by a bunch of brats!

Umbridge quickly barged into the room the Gryffindors were.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione all jumped at the door slamming open.

"Professor Umbridge!" They all exclaimed at the same time. "What are you doing here Professor?"

"I can't believe you, you naughty, naughty children! I already knew you all were horrible, naughty children, but I never imagined you would do such a horrible thing!" Umbridge wailed angrily. "You'll go to Azkaban for this terrible and horrendous crime!

Hermione, Ron, and Harry stared at Umbridge in confusion.

"Um... Professor, what are you talking about?" Hermione asked. She knew they had broken a lot of rules since Umbridge arrived, but she couldn't remember doing anything bad enough for Umbridge to freak out like this. And besides, their fail safes should've prevented her from finding out about any of their plans.

"Don't play dumb! You know what you were doing!" Umbridge screeched, her face turning bright red. Not only were they breaking the rules by murdering and eating the Minister of Magic, but they were trying to act like they were innocent of any crime!

"What were we doing? All we were doing was..."

The Golden Trio looked down at the box they were eating out of.

"Professor, you couldn't honestly mean..."

"Oh shut up!" Umbridge yelled. "I don't want to hear your excuses! You're coming to the Headmaster's office with me!"

Everyone started to protest, but Umbridge pulled out her wand, silencing them immediately.

The trio started to pull out their wands, but Umbridge stopped them before they could cast any spells.

"Funis conligo!" Umbridge screamed.

Ropes flew out of Umbridge's wand and tied their self around the trio. After making sure the bonds would hold. Umbridge summoned their wands and put them in her pocket, it was going to be amazing to watch their wands snapped! She then levitated the trio to the Headmaster's office.

The Ministry and the Headmaster would have to see that she was right and that Potter and his cronies belong in prison! They would just have to listen.

Umbridge just stormed into the Headmaster's office without caring to see if anyone was inside.

"Headmaster, I now have proof that..." Umbridge's mouth dropped open in shock at the people inside the Headmaster's office.

Inside was Dumbledore, McGonagall, Percy Weasley and "Cornelius Fudge?" Umbridge squeaked loudly in shock! What was he doing here? He was dead and sitting in the children's stomachs!

"Yes. I came for an update with the Headmaster about how the school is going. Why are you so surprised? You know about these weekly updates." Fudge asked with confusion.

"But... Ah... What... How...?" Umbridge stammered. Oh Wizard God, she was going to be in so much trouble!

"Dolores! Why are the children tied up?" McGonagall screamed, noticing the tied up students levitating behind Umbridge.

"Well, um... I... You see..."

"Dolores! I demand you release them this instant!" Fudge demanded. What in the bloody hell was she doing? Was she trying to get arrested for abuse of power? She was going to ruin their plans to fix the school and end the reign of Dumbledore!

Umbridge quickly waved her wand and untied the trio.

As soon as the silencing spell ended, Hermione was talking.

"Professor, we weren't eating Fudge!" Hermione said in a rush, not wanting to be silenced again.

"Eating Fudge?" Percy asked in confusion.

"Shut up Percy!" The trio yelled. Dear Wizard God, Percy ruins everything!

"You see, we were in an unused classroom and we were eating Fudge and Umbridge got confused about what kind of Fudge we were eating."

"They were eating me?" Fudge squeaked, backing up slowly from the trio. When did that happen? Why didn't he noticed pieces of him were missing? Dear Wizard God, how much of him did they get?!

"No! We were eating chocolate fudge, as in the candy!" Ron said. "I can show you the receipt! We got it in Hogsmeade!"

"Oh." Umbridge and Fudge said in understanding. So the kids weren't breaking any crimes?

The office quickly fell into an awkward silence. After a few minutes, Fudge finally spoke.

"So, 200 galleons and forget this ever happened?"

"Make it 250 and we all got a deal."

UPDATED 3/18/2018