Hey there, this is WOKgeotobi talking on behalf the lemon wedges! We decided to write this story together for another site (tokiohotelfiction) and decided to post it here as well. If you like it, review it! I was a bit stuck on categorys but everyone seemed to put their tokiohotel fanficitons into this one so I decided I would too! Luv you all lots and lots if you're reading this XXX
Welcome to England- Please wash your hands
"Come on guys, let's not do this. We don't know England very well, anything could happen!" Gustav began to panic as Tom slid into the tour bus' driver's seat.
"Loosen up, Gustii…" Bill sang cheerfully.
"Yeah, that stupid driver has been in that shop asking for directions for at least half an hour now and I don't think he's going to be coming back anytime soon. This may be the only chance we have to explore before the tour starts." Georg smacked Gustav round the back of the head. Tom grinned as he revved the engine and the tour bus lurched forward.
"Ugh, this thing has really bad acceleration." Tom grunted as they turned onto the road and began driving down the country lane.
"NO YOU IMBECILE!" Gustav screamed. "THEY DRIVE ON THE LEFT IN THIS COUNTRY!"
"Oops…" Tom muttered as the bus swerved to the opposite side of the road, narrowly missing an oncoming tractor. "I knew that."
"I knew this was a bad idea…"
"They'll never even know we were gone," Bill assured him. "We'll be back in no time."
"Whatever, but I'm having no part in this." Gustav stomped off to the other side of the bus and slumped down onto one of the beds defiantly. Idiots, he thought to himself as he slowly succumbed to his exhaustion from the long bus journeys. It took the other guys a couple of hours to realise he was asleep.
"It's the journey here that did it," Georg said, commenting on Gustav's snoring. Beep beep. "If he hadn't stayed awake throughout the entire thing, staring intently out the window to make sure all the cars were within a safe distance of each other, he wouldn't be so tired." Beep beep.
"Bill, would you stop making that noise!" Tom grumbled.
"What noise?" Bill looked up from his pocket mirror.
"The beeping noise."
"What beeping noise?" Beep beep.
"That beeping noise!"
"Oh, that's not me. That's just the noise the bus makes when it's running out of petrol," Bill grinned.
"Oh, ok." Tom nodded. "Wait….WHAT!?" He gasped as the needle on the gas meter flicked to zero and the bus suddenly skidded to a halt, throwing Gustav off his bed and onto the floor.
"Sheiße…" Bill and Tom cursed in unison.
"What the hell was that?" Gustav groaned, rubbing his head. Tom smiled at him sheepishly. "Ok, when you smile like that it can only mean two things and there's no girls here so I'm guessing you've gotten us lost."
"Well actually, the petrol ran out." Georg explained.
"Yeah, I mean I could never get you guys lost! I have a built in SatNav!" Tom scoffed.
"So where are we, Tom?" Gustav glared at him.
"Errm…somewhere in Wiltshire." He mumbled, holding a map upside down.
"Yes, but where in Wiltshire!?"
"I'm getting to it! Uhh…in the middle of this random green patch opposite the upside down caravan and somewhere between the triangle and the long red line." Tom finished, quite pleased with himself.
"So you don't actually know where we are?"
"All SatNavs malfunction sometimes, especially where there's no signal. Plus, it's dark!"
"Well this is just perfect…"
"I know, right!" Bill giggled, completely missing the point. "I just managed to put my mascara on…left-handed!"
"No one cares," Georg sighed. "Hey, how about we go and see if we can ask someone where the nearest petrol station is?"
"In case you haven't noticed, we haven't gone past anyone for mi...." Tom pointed out.
"I. Don't. Care! I refuse to spend any longer than absolutely necessary in this bus in the company of a transvestite, a brain-dead gangster and a guy obviously on his period!" Georg exploded before Tom had finished speaking.
"Transvestite!" Bill burst out laughing. "Wait…are you talking about me?"
"Of course not, Bill." Georg rolled his eyes. "You're as macho as they come."
"You sound like you're PMSing as…" Tom began but Georg cut him off again.
"Shut up and walk!" He threw open the doors of the bus and stormed out.
"Geez, and I thought Gustav was bad," Bill whispered.
"I heard that!" Georg yelled from outside.
"No way, that's amazing!" Bill's eyes lit up. "You must have like super-hearing!"
"No, your version of whispering is just like screaming into a megaphone." Gustav huffed, following Georg. Bill and Tom looked at each other warily before Bill exclaimed, "Last one out is a mouldy Schnitzel!" They both grappled with the door handle before throwing themselves out the bus.
"Wow," Bill remarked, gazing up at the night sky. "The moon is so pretty! Just like a giant glittering diamond illuminating my soul…"
"Bill. Seriously. Shut up." Tom glowered at him. "You're totally ruining my scene." Bill childishly stuck his tongue out.
"Are you sure he hasn't got an extra X chromosome or something?" Georg wondered aloud.
"What's an X chromosome?"
"Don't worry your pretty little head, Bill. Just, don't worry."
"Well, it really helped coming out here." Tom said sarcastically. "Everything is so much clearer now. It was always too warm in the bus. Nothing like five-degrees-celcius to wake you up, eh?"
"Yeah, I've had my fair share of nature now. Can I go back in? My hair's going frizzy…" Bill reached for the bus door, but before he could grab the handle, it automatically slammed shut. "Err…what was that?"
"Crap." Gustav smacked himself on the forehead. "That's the automatic safety mechanism."
"The what?"
"You know, the bus door closes automatically if anyone tries to get inside without a key."
"What?"
"The thing we had installed to keep fan-girls away…"
"Actually, I never agreed to that…" Tom interrupted.
"Ok, so where's the key?" Bill looked at them all expectantly.
"Right there…" Georg pointed.
"Phew…" Bill sighed.
"…inside the bus."
"WHAT!?!" Gustav yelled. "You mean you didn't take the key with you!?"
"Hey, I wasn't the last one out the bus!" Georg shrugged.
"Well who was?"
Bill and Tom looked at each other.
"Tom." Bill mumbled as Tom said, "Bill."
"No way! You were the mouldy schnitzel!" Bill protested indignantly.
"ME!? ME!? ME!?" Tom's eyes bulged.
"It's always about you isn't it, Tom!?" Gustav fumed.
"Not always!" Georg retorted. "You're always the one moaning about how lonely you are on stage!"
"That's because he has to be at the back! You and Tom are always doing things together and Gustav's just left behind!" Bill snapped.
"I don't know what you're moaning about!? The singer has the easiest job!" Tom got up on his toes to match Bill's height. "All you have to do is stand at the front and look beautiful!"
"Hey! He's supposed to look beautiful! He's our front man, it's not easy remembering lyrics in different languages!" Gustav went to stand by Bill as Georg backed up Tom.
"It's not easy remembering guitar tabs!"
"What!? You keep forgetting them! Remember that time when you messed up Rette Mich three concerts in a row? You're a crap guitarist! I'm ashamed to be related to someone so untalented!"
"How dare you!?" Tom stepped towards Bill menacingly and pushed him. "I'm the only reason this band stays together! And plus…..you sing like a girl!"
"Oh. Mein. Gott. You did not just say that!" Bill pushed Tom back, harder.
"You're such a pansy! That was a girl's push…because you're a girl." Tom scoffed, before Bill lunged at him, tackling him to the ground. Georg and Gustav watched in horror as Tom grabbed hold of Bill's hair and Bill pulled Tom's cap over his face.
"Arrrgh…" Tom muffled as he randomly threw punches at his brother.
"Ugh! You just slapped me round the face!" Bill tugged at Tom's jacket and pulled him to the side.
"Uh guys…" Georg suddenly began to panic. "You're getting too close to…" But before he could finish, Tom tried and failed to get on top of Bill and the next thing they knew, they were rolling down a large hill, heading straight for a hay bale.
"Damn it!" Gustav cursed. "Are they moving?"
"Err…I dunno…" Georg peered over the edge and saw two pairs of black boots and trainers sticking out of the straw, completely still.
"Do you think they're maybe….a little bit….dead," Gustav whispered, staring at Georg with wide eyes.
"By rolling into a hay bale?"
"Why not? This is Bill and Tom we're talking about. They could have died of the shock of finding straw in their perfect hair."
"True true."
"Well…that's kind of bad then isn't it?"
"Hmmmm….in some ways."
"What do you mean in some ways?"
"Think about it, we could use this as a publicity stunt!"
"I'm not sure I follow you…"
"We'll make a tragic tribute song to them and cry about how much we missed them on TV and it could kick-start our own career!"
"Huzzah! It's true, we have been overshadowed by them for years! Now it's our time to shine!"
"Exactly!"
"But what if they aren't dead?"
"Then our best friends are still alive, and that's always a plus."
"Ah yes." Gustav and Georg began to make their way slowly down the hill towards the stationary feet.
"Bill? Tom? Guys?" Georg edged towards them, poking Bill's boot. "You in there?"
"Well of course they're in there, you idiot." Gustav jumped back as the boot twitched.
"Bill?" Georg asked again. A muffling sound came from deep within the hay.
"I think they're alive, dude."
"Tmmh…" The voice rumbled again.
"Buhhh…" A deeper voice answered. Georg and Gustav stared at each other wide-eyed.
"MY HAIR!" Bill and Tom screamed in unison, shooting out of the hay bale.
"Oh my god! There's straw in my hair!" Bill jumped up and down trying to shake the straw out of his hair as Tom merely flicked his dreadlocks back and glared at the other two.
"Thanks guys, it was nice to know you care about us so much." Tom hissed.
"What are you talking about?" Gustav feigned an innocent expression.
"I heard you and your plans to write a tragic tribute song," Tom emphasised the last words.
"You heard that!?"
"Huh?" Bill finally looked up.
"Yes, you guys were so loud! But then I did hear the bit where you said it would be a plus if we were alive so all is forgiven!" Tom grinned as the others sighed. "Oh and Bill, sorry about earlier. You're not a girl, even if you are unusually feminine for a guy."
"Awww…." Bill clutched his heart melodramatically. "And I'm sorry for saying you were a crap guitarist."
"I love you, man." Tom smiled as the two embraced.
"I love you too, man."
"We love you too." Gustav and Georg joined in with the group hug.
"Can't…breathe…" Bill pushed the others away. "Anyway…ooh a butterfly!" He gazed up awe-struck by the multi-coloured patterns on its wings. "It's so pretty! Just like me!" Bill gave chase as the butterfly fluttered across the field and into the woods.
"Damn, not again!" Tom rolled his eyes. "The last time this happened we ended up in Lichtenstein!"
"We better hurry up then!" Georg began to run after Bill and the others followed suit. The butterfly led the guys through a thick forest until they eventually landed up in another empty field, pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Bill giggled nervously.
"So where has the omniscient butterfly led us this time, eh?" Gustav put his hands on his hips, a little annoyed.
"Errm…I kinda lost it ages ago," Bill sheepishly admitted. "I just like the feeling of the wind blowing through my hair."
"Yeah, that is pretty nice," Georg agreed.
"So now we're completely lost!?"
"Yep…pretty much." Tom mumbled.
"Brilliant."
"Indeed."
"Wait, do you see that?" Georg pointed at a faint orangey light in the distance.
"Do you think it could be….maybe…the hint of civilisation in this godforsaken field of nothingness?" Gustav raised his eyebrows conspiratorially.
"It just might be…."
"See the butterfly knows all!" Bill exclaimed. "Even though I led you through the last couple of miles."
"Ok, well I'm freezing so can we please get a move on?" Tom began to head towards the light. The others trailed on behind him. As they got closer, they realised that the light was coming from a large, slightly creepy, mansion-type building. Their way was barred by wrought iron gates which Tom quickly climbed over and jumped down to the other side.
"Err…guys…" Gustav said in a hushed tone, once the others were over. "I can't get up."
"Come on Gustii, you can do it! Jump!" Bill encouraged. Gustav jumped five centimetres off the ground, his arms flapping wildly. The rest of them exploded with laughter.
"Hey, it's not my fault I'm vertically challenged!"
"Ok, I'll help you." Georg let his arm swing down over the gate and hoisted Gustav up. However, Georg pulled too hard and both of them ended up tangled in a dusty heap on the ground, though not before Gustav's foot got caught between one of the bars, wrenching the gate open.
"Well, would you look at that…" Tom pursed his lips. "Why didn't we try that in the first place?"
"Because you're all idiots and you have to do things the hard way!" Gustav complained, brushing himself off. They made their way towards the looming oak door and stopped three feet in front of it.
"Who wants to knock?" Georg asked brightly. They all stared back with blank expressions on their faces. "Fine, we'll all do it. On the count of three….One…two….Bill!"
"Sorry, couldn't handle the suspense," Bill grinned, pulling back his hand. Suddenly, the door began to creak open.