Author's Notes - This was the first piece of fanfiction I ever wrote when I was still a teenager, and while it's been complete for a while, I actually decided to go in and correct all those stupid mistakes I had made in the first writing. It's certainly not my best work, but if I ever was to be blamed of writing WAFF, this story would be it. The motivation behind this story was that I can't stand the fact that someone as smart as Lina Inverse would tie herself down to someone as stupid as Gourry. I prefer to think that Lina would have chosen Zelgadis over Jellyfish-brains any day, and so, this fiction reflects that wish. Don't read it if you're offended by non-canon couples. I also apologize profusely to Amelia and Naga fans. I really do like them both. Also, a little leap of canon faith. Lina knows healing magic. But please try to forget that for this fiction.
DISCLAIMER – The Slayers still belong to Hajime Kanzaka; I'm only personally profiting from reader reviews (Please! Please leave them! I beg of you, tell me what you think of this story!), and blatantly stealing and plagiarizing from the original work.
"IDIOT! That was my last piece of chicken!"
Zelgadis winced as Lina's indignant cry rose above the hubbub of the tavern noise. "Do you really need to be quite so aggressive all the time, Lina?" he asked as he watched the tiny sorceress pummeling her unfortunate blond mercenary companion.
Lina looked up sharply. She paused only long enough to say "Don't you start on me, Zel!" before continuing to boot Gourry back into the ground."Ow! Liiina, I was hungry!" came the muffled cry, which quickly escalated into a full-blown argument over the ownership rights of food. Zelgadis rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee, praising his good fortune that he didn't have to be involved in it - and then cursed it as he felt a familiar weight latch onto his arm.
Huge, watery blue eyes stared up at him worshipfully. "Oh Mr. Zelgadis! Lina is so mean to Gourry! I wish she could be nice and quiet like you are sometimes!" Despite his obvious annoyance, the girl continued to snuggle up to him and chatter brainlessly about their companions and the need for justice in the world. With the ease of years of practice, he managed to tune her out.
A loud, piercing laugh suddenly broke above the noise the Slayers were causing. "AH-HA-HA-HA HA!" Zelgadis saw Lina wince painfully at the sound. "AH-HA-HA-HA-HA! Naga, the White Serpent and All-Around Superior Sorceress has finally found you, Lina Inverse!" Much to the dismay of the surrounding crowd, she opened her mouth to let out another hearty laugh, when her jaw dropped open. "Amelia? What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to bring order and justice to the world!" Amelia chirped back, "You never told me you knew Miss Lina, sis!"
This time it was Lina's turn to drop her jaw open. "You mean you two are sisters?" she sputtered. Then she paused. Well, they both had blue eyes, purple hair, ample bosoms, and tiny brains. Suddenly Lina was struck with a horrible thought. She had barely managed to get rid of Naga before picking up Amelia as a traveling companion. One at a time was bad enough. Well, she would be damned if she had to travel with them BOTH. Lina stood up with a self-confident smile and said "Yes, so nice to see you too again, Naga. What do you want?"
Naga's smirk increased to a broad smile. "Why, to prove to you that I am the greatest and sexiest sorceress in the world! I can't have you going around doing things like defeating Shabranigdu without me, Lina!"
Lina felt her stomach knot painfully as Amelia squealed with joy at the prospect of adventuring for justice with her big sister. The knot tightened as Gourry, who had somehow managed to recover from the beating, decided to add his opinion as well.
"Wow! See Lina, now that's what I call a real chest! Maybe when you grow up you can fit into an outfit like that too!"
The smoke in the tavern, Amelia's squealing, Gourry's observations, and Naga's ear-splitting laughs pressed in around the tiny sorceress. Squeezing her eyes shut, she let out a scream of frustration and bolted for the door.
"Ah-HAHAHAHA! Warm up the sake, let's celebrate my return!" Naga roared, as Amelia and Gourry surrounded her, the former to catch up with the family and the latter to stare at her bosom. Zelgadis took the opportunity to slip out of the tavern quietly, unnoticed by the others, and left after Lina.
Zelgadis sniffed at the air. Lina really must have been annoyed this time, she had traveled farther away from the town than usual for her occasional fits of rage with their other traveling companions. He finally found her sulking on a rock in a small clearing of the forest nearby.
Lina, hearing the rustling wind as Zelgadis settled on the ground, whipped around, a fireball already forming in her hands and a look of murder in her eyes. "Oh, it's you," she said relievedly, killing the spell. She slumped back down onto the rock wearily.
Zelgadis was surprised; this wasn't the same fiery little sorceress he was so used to seeing. "I know how you feel," he offered. "I need to get away from them too, sometimes." Zelgadis let out a sigh. Especially Amelia, he added silently. He walked around to another rock nearby and settled down. Lina didn't seem to mind; he didn't know when exactly it had happened, but somewhere along their travels they had come to silently acknowledge each other's competence, and had grown used to spending their mutual need for escape together. Sometimes he even enjoyed Lina's frustrated escapes from the group; it was refreshing to be able to talk with her alone, or even just pass the time in a comfortable, easy silence. And somehow, each time it happened, his consuming desire to find a cure for his chimeric form was somehow quenched, or even forgotten. But the scowl on Lina's face brought him back to the present; something more had upset her than the usual stress of her friends' antics. "So," he said simply. Her scowl deepened. "If you're going to sit there making that sour face, you might as well tell me about it." She glared at him moodily. Zelgadis shrugged slightly. "Of course, if you don't want to talk about it, then I'll just go back..."
"No, no, wait." She spoke as he went through the motions of pretending to rise. "It's not that I don't like Naga and Amelia and Gourry..." The expression on her face softened as she looked at the ground. "It's just - well," she hesitated.
Zelgadis nodded at her encouragingly.
Lina's face scrunched up angrily and her fists clenched into tight balls. "I can't stand it! I can't stand being continually teased about it!" Zelgadis lifted an eyebrow. "Look at me, Zel! I haven't changed since the first day you saw me! I haven't changed from the first day Naga saw me!" She stood up and paced around the rocks restlessly. "When I was a kid, I thought it would be great, that I'd never have to worry getting old or ugly or wrinkled, but look at me now! It's been six years and I'm still stuck in this body!"
Turn, stomp, turn, stomp. "I used to be able to brush it off. 'Flat-chested' ... 'dramatta' ... 'snot-nosed punk' ... but oooh!" Her faced turned a bright shade of red, and for a moment Zelgadis worried that she would choke on her own fury. Instead, she let out a loud scream. "I'M TIRED OF BEING A KID! I WANT TO GROW UP!" Exhausted from the declaration, she plopped back down onto the rock. But Zelgadis' reaction surprised her.
He tried to stifle a laugh. And then another, and another. Soon his laughter, rich and deep, came spilling out.
Surprised, and then indignant, Lina strode up to him and kicked him soundly in the ribs, hurting only her foot. "What the HELL do you think you're laughing about?"
Zelgadis wiped a tear of mirth from his eye and looked up at the tiny sorceress, now towering above him. "You! What did you expect, telling me that story?" He let out a few last chuckles, and then sat up again, motioning for her to sit down as expressions of confusion and rage crossed her face. "Lina, I'm a chimera! You may think you have problems, but look at me!"
As if she had suddenly realized just who she was talking to, a flush of embarrassment spread across Lina's face. It was surprising to Zelgadis; she truly had forgotten about his disfigurement. But Lina recovered quickly, and pointed at him.
"It's not the same! You just believe that your stone skin makes you ugly! If you'd just get over that, you fool, you'd get along fine!" She sighed slightly. "At least you don't have to look like a stupid child for the rest of your life."
Zelgadis shook his head at her. "You think YOU have problems? I'd give anything to have your problem, Lina, if it would mean I could be human again," he told her.
"Yeah, well I don't think your position is nearly so bad as mine! In fact, I think I'd prefer to be in your place instead of mine!" she shot back. And suddenly, the stone Zelgadis was leaning against began to glow in an eerie light.
Both Lina and Zelgadis scrambled to their feet as they noticed the rocks around them beginning to glow. Even patches of moss sparkled, revealing that the stones were actually laid a circular formation. The sorcerers glanced nervously at each other. This was no ordinary forest glen, they realized belatedly. As the remaining rocks hidden by the overgrowth of moss and flowers began to emerge, they realized their mistake - Lina and Zelgadis had stumbled into a faerie circle!
"Oh shi-" were the last words Zelgadis heard Lina saying, as consciousness faded from them both.
Sunlight filtered through the trees. Zelgadis opened his eyes slowly. What happened? What time is it? He blinked a few times and brushed the flowing red bangs away from his eyes -- and froze. Flowing red bangs? Brushed away by a slender, pale, HUMAN hand? He shot up suddenly, head reeling, and looked around.
He saw himself, lying unconscious next to him -- Zelgadis blinked. HIMSELF LYING NEXT TO HIM? Almost afraid, he slowly looked down. And saw the rise and fall of some (not-so-ample) breasts in time to his breathing. Dumbstruck, he carefully touched his chest. Yep, maybe small, but they were breasts all right. And moving further down to his pants - he gulped nervously as he confirmed the worst - there was no doubt about it, Zelgadis Greywares was now Lina Inverse! A low, throaty moan came from the chimera's body, and (s)he slowly opened her eyes.
"Ohhh - I feel like Amelia has been practicing her hammers of justice on my head," mumbled the sleepy form beside him. 'Lina' woke up and stared at Zelgadis for a moment, confusion flickering across her sapphire blue eyes as she registered what she was seeing. And in the next instant, she was wide awake.
"WHAT THE HELL-" she screeched - well, tried to; Zelgadis' body wasn't suited for making such a high-pitched noise; it came out more like a hoarse shout.
"Lina, Lina calm down! It's me, Zelgadis!" he said. The fear in her eyes died out as she realized what had happened. And was replaced suddenly by a look of rage. "Lina, what's wro-" Zelgadis suddenly remembered where his hands still were and yanked them away while blushing furiously.
"Just because we've switched bodies doesn't mean you can put your hands there, you pervert!" Lina yelled at him. She reached out to strike him across the head and suddenly froze. Her chimeric arm had moved almost at the same speed as her mind, and now the Lina-body of Zelgadis was sprawled across the ground, a remarkable bruise spreading across his forehead. Instantly contrite, she began to cast healing spells on her friend, realizing how much more potent her punch was now that she had a stone fist. "I'll have to be more careful or I might end up killing Gourry!" she thought as she wove another complex spell over the wound.
Zelgadis' eyes fluttered open slowly, and he rose to see Lina staring at her chimeric fingers in wonder. "Zel, I just healed you! I HEALED you!" her voice rose excitedly. "I bet that I can do all of your spells too!" She began to launch into a chant when Zelgadis caught her arm and stopped her.
"Lina, I don't think this is the best place for a Ra-Tilt." She stopped and blushed, realizing that she had been about to destroy the very faerie circle that had caused their bodies to switch.
"We've got to think this thing through... find a way to reverse what happened," Zelgadis said as he absentmindedly ran his fingers over the smooth skin on his arm. Smooth skin... so soft and pliant. Experimentally, he pinched himself and jumped where he had squeezed the flesh together. Hesitantly, he brought his fingers to his head and smiled. His hair felt incredibly soft and silky under his fingertips; it was entrancing.
Lina smiled at him, enjoying the look of wonder and pleasure that crossed his face as he discovered his humanity. He seemed so happy to be human again. And I want to try that Ra-Tilt! a little voice inside of her head cried out greedily, which she quickly squished.
"Zel, maybe we shouldn't think about that just yet. After all, we got exactly what we wished for - the least we could do is try it out, huh?" Zelgadis looked up at her with surprise, both his hands still resting on his head.
"But the others-"
Lina shrugged carelessly. "I've always wondered what it would be like to be a grown man anyways. Come on, it'll be fun trying to see how long we can fool them! Besides, this circle isn't going anywhere .." Lina eyed the mossy earth, which had somehow swallowed up the stones that appeared last night, leaving only faint impressions in the ground.
With a hesitant sigh, Zelgadis finally agreed, and after carefully studying and marking the glen with the fae circle, they set out for the inn.
It was nearing twilight by the time the two sorcerers made it back to the inn.
"Where were you guys?" Gourry's worried puppy whine greeted them as the two sorcerers returned to the inn. Lina opened her mouth to answer and was left confused as Gourry shambled past her and ushered Zelgadis to the table. "I even got you some more chicken..." he was telling 'her'. She didn't have time to hear any more of the conversation, because she was suddenly knocked off balance by a heavy weight at her side.
"Oh Mr. Zelgadis! We were so worried about you! We thought that maybe bandits had ambushed you and Lina and we'd have to go out and rescue you and -" Lina looked down at Amelia irritatedly and shook her arm, trying unsuccessfully to loosen the girl's iron grip.
The rest of the day proved amusing for both Lina and Zelgadis. She, on the one hand, was amazed at his stamina to be able to continuously fight off his over-adoring fan Amelia. He, on the other hand, was amazed at Lina's ability to put up with Gourry's stupidity at such a close range, and found himself having to resist the urge to smack Gourry's head every few minutes.
As the evening passed on, Zelgadis noticed that Lina was enjoying her new body. He watched curiously at first as she pulled back her hood and took off her mask and gloves. He wasn't surprised as her unusual appearance began to draw whispers and stares from the other people in the inn. He was surprised, however, as she turned on them and said loudly "Do you have a problem?" The buzz died down, and he watched as she used her new-found strength and looks to challenge other people to matches of arm-wrestling, drinking, and eating... and slowly gathered a crowd of laughing, merry tavern visitors around her table.
For his part, Zelgadis was trying to stay quiet and inconspicuous at his table. Even Gourry finally left him alone, finding the new and talkative 'Zelgadis' to be less boring company. Zelgadis smiled, enjoying his ability to relax in the inn for once, without tension or masks. He ran his hands over the rough wooden texture of the table, enjoying the feel of it, and savored the bitter-sweet taste and warmth of his ale. His contemplative reverie was broken by the sound of a loud and particularly unpleasant laugh descending from the stairs.
"AH-HA! Ah-HAHAHAHA!" Naga made her entrance like usual, with a flourish, and headed straight for Zelgadis' table. "Ah, Lina! You can't hide from me forever, you know!" Zelgadis sighed with annoyance, his mood not improved by the fact that Lina was flashing him a huge smile from her table, clearly enjoying her freedom from Naga's attentions. "Since you don't want to admit that I am THE most powerful, beautiful, and sexy sorceress in this land, I challenge you to a duel, here and now!" Her loud declaration caught the attention of everyone in the room.
Zelgadis lifted his eyebrow at the scantily clad woman curiously. "Just what sort of a duel did you have in mind?" he asked quietly. Naga slammed her hand down in the table and leaned forward, nearly blinding him with the proximity of her massive, wobbling chest.
"We'll have a judge decide who truly is the most beautiful sorceress here!" She scanned the room, and caught sight of the real Lina. "In fact, why don't we have blue-boy over there decide for us! He looks like the man of the night!" Zelgadis felt himself blush as Naga shot a glance in Lina's direction and gave her a blatantly inviting wink. "A real cutey, too!" she yelled.
Lina's eyes met Zelgadis', and an evil grin flashed across her face. Zelgadis understood, but Naga laughed heartily, thinking it was directed at her. "Poor Lina! I think he might be a little biased already!" This caused a squeal of protest from Amelia. "You can chose another judge if you want, not that it'd make a difference!" Naga boomed. An idea suddenly sprung up in Zelgadis' head.
"No," he answered, flashing a confident smile at Naga. "In fact, why don't we ask all the men here to judge who really is the most beautiful and powerful sorceress in this room?" Naga's obnoxious laugh made him wince and cover his ears, but he smiled as she accepted the challenge. A small path was cleared between the walls of the tavern, and a ringed wooden dart board was hung to one side. Naga stepped into the aisle and pointed at the board.
The men in the room lined up eagerly, each craning to get a glimpse of Naga's body as she dramatically raised her arms above her head. "FREEZE ARROW!" With a yell, she let the glowing blue arrow that had formed in her hands loose. And with a yelp, everyone in the room ducked as it flew awry and slammed into the bar, covering it and the unfortunate bartender beneath a layer of ice.
"AH-HA-HA-HA!" came Naga's inescapable laugh. "You see, I've managed to cool down the drinks for my victory celebration!" With an extremely revealing flourish of her cape she bowed deeply amidst the uncertain claps of the nervous bystanders. "Beat that, Dra-Matta!" Naga's hearty laugh rolled off the walls.
Zelgadis waited motionlessly at the table for Naga's laugh to die down. All eyes in the room turned towards him. Even after there was complete silence, still he waited. He waited until he was sure he felt Lina's penetrating, questioning gaze. Then he stood up slowly and drew his petite body to its full height.
Carefully placing one foot in front of the other, he walked to the center of the room. His ruby eyes shone in the firelight with an intensity that made Lina's breath catch; he stopped and stared directly at her. Your body is so fragile, he thought. So small and delicate... so human! You are more than a child, Lina Inverse. You are beautiful, and anyone in this room who doesn't realize that is a fool. Zelgadis ran a hand slowly through his long, golden-red hair, making it catch the glints of the firelight he had studied earlier that evening. He shrugged off his cloak and shoulder pads and carelessly let them fall to the floor. He slowly peeled off his gloves, revealing the delicate, marble-white skin of his hands. The confidence in each of Zelgadis' fluid motions held the room in an electric trance; even Gourry was staring at his 'little sister,' surprised that he had never seen her this way before. Lifting his hands in a graceful arch above his head, Zelgadis' voice rang out clear and true.
"Flare..." he drew out the spell, letting the yet-uncontrolled flames dance across his fingers. Then with exacting precision he released his breath, focusing the flames between his hands. "Arrow!" The flame shot across the room, hitting the center ring. There was a sudden burst of heat and light, and when Lina opened her eyes again, she saw that the dart board had been reduced to ashes, leaving only a black, perfectly charred circle smoking in the barren wall. Zelgadis lowered his hands, a small smile playing across his face.
A clap sounded through the room. "Wow, Miss Lina! That was incredible!" Amelia was staring proudly at her mentor, clapping in appreciation. And suddenly, everyone began to join in, clapping, cheering, and sending wolf-whistles in his direction. Blushing, Zelgadis picked up his cloak and gloves and made his way back to the table.
The noise in the tavern grew as people chattered merrily, and the air was thick with laughter and ale. Naga, after sulking at the table and refusing to admit defeat, had finally drunken herself into a stupor and was passed out at the bar. Amelia and the barmaid were fighting about who would get to sit next to "Zelly", and Zelgadis was busy trying to keep away from the crowd of drunken men all trying to buy him a drink. At least Gourry had already forgotten about the contest in favor of eating his fourteenth meal of the day.
Lina watched all of the attention buzzing around her human form, wondering at how easy Zelgadis had made it seem to transform from a child into a grown, beautiful woman. She waited until Amelia finally tackled the over-eager barmaid, and used the opportunity to quietly slip out of the tavern.
Zelgadis smiled uncomfortably as he tried to refuse yet another drink being pushed in his direction. Glancing around for Lina, he noticed she was missing. Using the excuse that he had to 'powder his nose' (and turning down several drunken offers of accompaniment), he finally managed to work his way out of the pub and set off after Lina.
Zelgadis found her, as expected, waiting for him in the moonlit faerie grove. Lina was lying in the middle of the glen, staring up at the sky with an unreadable expression on her face. He knew she had heard him coming with her sensitive ears, but she didn't move. After studying her for a few minutes, he lay down on the mossy earth next to her and gazed out into the vast expanse of blackness peppered with thousands of twinkling stars above them.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he said. "Yeah," she answered quietly. "It makes you think..." her voice trailed off. Zelgadis turned his head slightly and looked at her. Sapphire blue eyes stared up, unblinking. "The universe is so large, Zel. And for everything that we do, our souls are still just one little spark in that great expanse," She turned her head and met his gaze. "All our struggles, all our problems and our personal sufferings are so insignificant in the vast stream of life..."
Zelgadis could only stare, recognizing the real Lina reflected within his own jeweled eyes.
"If we'd realize just who we were in that universe, we might see how small our problems really are." He nodded silently. "We could just as easily make our own happiness rather than suffering if we wanted to." She gave him a tiny smile. "You showed me that tonight, Zel. The only thing preventing me from growing up was myself."
Zelgadis shook his head at her. "No, Lina. You showed me that I don't have to live my life thinking I'm a freak." She smiled at him then, and his breath caught in his throat.
"You were beautiful tonight, Zel," she whispered. "And it came from inside... that won't ever change." She leaned in a little closer, and their lips touched. It felt as though the world was spinning around them as they held onto the gentle kiss. When he finally pulled back, he blinked, disoriented... and found himself staring into a pair of dark ruby eyes, Lina's own, so deep he felt he would drown.
"I guess the curse has worn off," he noted.
"Does it really matter?" Lina whispered, and leaned forward again. But he already knew it didn't as he answered her with a kiss.