Title: Down a Different Path
Author: Eternity (with some Owl help)
Rating: PG/PG-13 I guess, dont know if it will go higher.
Spoilers: Parts of "The Kidz Are Aiight" and could include anything before that.
Summary: AU from the cave scene in "The Kidz are Aiight". What if something had gone a little different in the woods outside Manticore? (Max/Zach)
Distribution: Please ask, I'll almost always let you post it I just like to know where it goes.
Author's Note : Owl (Owl the Psychica@aol.com) wrote the first couple paragraphs and beta'ed the rest. Owl rules ::grin::. (Someday you will write an entire Max/Zach fic all on your own, you realize this I know.) Oh, and Owl...ZacH. Oh, and I realize this is short, but isn't everything I write? And it may or may not be upgraded from this vignette type thing.
~~~~~~~~
"How could I forget a single thing about you?"
He sounded so lost, so…helpless. Zach never sounded helpless. Even when he had been lying on the floor of my apartment, bleeding, he hadn't sounded helpless.
That was what really stayed with me. Zach made himself forget, and now was putting himself through hell to remember something, anything, about the others. I mean, I never did things his way after he made us split up, and now he was saying that I was the only one he could remember.
Part of me wanted to reach out, comfort him somehow… But how could I? He's right. We don't have time. We'll never have time. All we can do is run. All we have each other. And since I don't do things his way, I don't even have that. So what I can do?
"It's been a long time since I've let my guard down long enough to sleep."
Well, sleep now. This may be your only chance. He lay down and closed his eyes, his battered face taking on a innocent look that made my heart ache. With his eyes closed you couldn't see the bitterness in him, the pain that was so obvious in every look that he sent, every move that he made.
I almost reached my hand out to brush a lock of dirty hair off of his forehead. but stayed myself just in time. Zach didn't need my comfort, he was just fine on his own he had always been fine on his own. Some people were just self-suffiecient enough not to need anyone I guess.
Then he turned a little and let out a small sigh, almost a whimper and I thought of that night in Logan's cabin, and the words he had spoken.
i" A part of me wants the same things--friends... A place where I belong... Someone to care about......Even I have my moments of weakness." /i
I looked at him with a new perspective then, seeing the way his arms wrapped around himself and his knees, which were drawn up in an almost fetal position. Maybe it wasn't that some people just didn't need anyone; maybe some people were just better at hiding the fact that they did.
So I reached out my hand and this time I didn't stop. I touched his cheek gently and wiped off a spot of dirt that was there. Then I brushed my hand across his forehead, brushing his hair away, when my hand got to the back of my neck though I felt a small bump. A transmitter. Shit, I should have thought of this earlier.
"Zach," I whisper and nudge him. His eyes open so quickly that I don't think he was ever asleep. I tap the side of his neck and mouth the word transmitter. He nods and sits up, baring his neck to me, I see that his barcode has returned. For some reason seeing it makes me feel better, it's something that we share that only a few other people in the world could understand. Then I focus in on the slight red bump next to it, there is already a small hole from when it was inserted so I use that and quickly pull it out. He didn't wince, I didn't think he would though not from something as small as that.
I made a couple hand motions, telling him I was going to get ride of it, and as he nods I can see in his eyes he wants to come with me but knows he will only slow me down in his condition. So I hold the device tightly in my hand and leave the cave, checking to make sure no one is watching. My ears and eyes are hyperly sensitive as I run as fast as my legs will carry me through the forest. A log in the stream catches my eye and I quickly tie the homing device on with a ripped off piece from the back of my shirt, then I leave as quickly as I came before anyone can see me.
I thought that Zach would be asleep by the time I returned but I guess old habits die hard, and of all the places to feel safe anywhere near Manticore definitely isn't one of them.
"We should stay here for the night, they'll be expecting us to move on they'll never look here," he tells me. I can see some of the old Zach showing through. He holds my gaze for a moment longer than necessary before looking away.
I find myself speaking before I am even thinking the words. "Zach." I hesitate to go on, but I do it anyway. "What you said before, about it being different with me...how? How is it different? Why?" I realize where this conversation will take me, will take us but I don't care. I feel something in this cave, something I've never felt before, something strong and frightening, but at the same time alluring, compelling me to go on. He looks at me again, something in his eyes, something burning, silently asking me if I really want to know. I say nothing and so he answers.
"You're not my sister Max, you haven't been my sister since I was sixteen years old and found you for the first time. The minute I saw you I knew everything was going to be different with you. Maybe it was something in the way you walked, or your smile. But any thought I had ever had of you as my sister vanished." He pauses, never taking his eyes away from mine, letting me know that he isn't ashamed of this. I hold my breath, waiting for what he'll say next, my stomach twisting and turning. There is a quickly disappearing part of me that's telling me to make him stop talking, overpowered by a stronger voice telling me that I've been waiting for this.
"I tried to forget about it, to write it off just as attraction, and it worked for awhile. Then I met you again though and I knew it wasn't just attraction, or it wasn't going to stay that way. It seems like you're with Cale though, and so I tried to lay off, the cabin was a slip-up; I didn't mean to touch your hair that way. I just... You left the next morning anyway and when I found out they had you, I knew I couldn't let you go back to Manticore," he finishes, still he doesn't look away, but neither do I.
I want to say something, but no words come to mind. There isn't any conversation I have ever had in my life that can prepare me for what's happening now. I know now that I want this to happen though. I want this to be more. Now that I realize what is here, I can't even pinpoint when it began, fighting with him again for the first time, sitting in Lydecker's SUV, that night in the cabin...maybe it's all been leading up to this.
"I'm not with Logan," I say, the only thing that comes to mind and maybe what he needs to hear. He searches my eyes for a lie, for an uncertainty but I know he finds none. "I thought maybe there was going to be, but that's not going to happen. I care about him, he's my friend and maybe I mistook that for something more but it's not." I don't say anything more and I don't need to.
There is hope in his eyes, and disbelief. I recognize that look. It's when something is happening that you've wanted for so long, you almost don't believe it's happening. He leans forward and I think he is going to kiss me, but he just takes my hand in his and holds it tight. Nothing more is said and nothing needs to be.
End Part One
~~~
Ok, I am as we speak writing the next part, I may or may not finish it and depending on what Owl thinks I may or may not post it. So I left the end in a way that it can end here or be continued. More parts wont have anything to do with feedback so I won't hold part hostage or anything but it is greatly appreciated.
Author: Eternity (with some Owl help)
Rating: PG/PG-13 I guess, dont know if it will go higher.
Spoilers: Parts of "The Kidz Are Aiight" and could include anything before that.
Summary: AU from the cave scene in "The Kidz are Aiight". What if something had gone a little different in the woods outside Manticore? (Max/Zach)
Distribution: Please ask, I'll almost always let you post it I just like to know where it goes.
Author's Note : Owl (Owl the Psychica@aol.com) wrote the first couple paragraphs and beta'ed the rest. Owl rules ::grin::. (Someday you will write an entire Max/Zach fic all on your own, you realize this I know.) Oh, and Owl...ZacH. Oh, and I realize this is short, but isn't everything I write? And it may or may not be upgraded from this vignette type thing.
~~~~~~~~
"How could I forget a single thing about you?"
He sounded so lost, so…helpless. Zach never sounded helpless. Even when he had been lying on the floor of my apartment, bleeding, he hadn't sounded helpless.
That was what really stayed with me. Zach made himself forget, and now was putting himself through hell to remember something, anything, about the others. I mean, I never did things his way after he made us split up, and now he was saying that I was the only one he could remember.
Part of me wanted to reach out, comfort him somehow… But how could I? He's right. We don't have time. We'll never have time. All we can do is run. All we have each other. And since I don't do things his way, I don't even have that. So what I can do?
"It's been a long time since I've let my guard down long enough to sleep."
Well, sleep now. This may be your only chance. He lay down and closed his eyes, his battered face taking on a innocent look that made my heart ache. With his eyes closed you couldn't see the bitterness in him, the pain that was so obvious in every look that he sent, every move that he made.
I almost reached my hand out to brush a lock of dirty hair off of his forehead. but stayed myself just in time. Zach didn't need my comfort, he was just fine on his own he had always been fine on his own. Some people were just self-suffiecient enough not to need anyone I guess.
Then he turned a little and let out a small sigh, almost a whimper and I thought of that night in Logan's cabin, and the words he had spoken.
i" A part of me wants the same things--friends... A place where I belong... Someone to care about......Even I have my moments of weakness." /i
I looked at him with a new perspective then, seeing the way his arms wrapped around himself and his knees, which were drawn up in an almost fetal position. Maybe it wasn't that some people just didn't need anyone; maybe some people were just better at hiding the fact that they did.
So I reached out my hand and this time I didn't stop. I touched his cheek gently and wiped off a spot of dirt that was there. Then I brushed my hand across his forehead, brushing his hair away, when my hand got to the back of my neck though I felt a small bump. A transmitter. Shit, I should have thought of this earlier.
"Zach," I whisper and nudge him. His eyes open so quickly that I don't think he was ever asleep. I tap the side of his neck and mouth the word transmitter. He nods and sits up, baring his neck to me, I see that his barcode has returned. For some reason seeing it makes me feel better, it's something that we share that only a few other people in the world could understand. Then I focus in on the slight red bump next to it, there is already a small hole from when it was inserted so I use that and quickly pull it out. He didn't wince, I didn't think he would though not from something as small as that.
I made a couple hand motions, telling him I was going to get ride of it, and as he nods I can see in his eyes he wants to come with me but knows he will only slow me down in his condition. So I hold the device tightly in my hand and leave the cave, checking to make sure no one is watching. My ears and eyes are hyperly sensitive as I run as fast as my legs will carry me through the forest. A log in the stream catches my eye and I quickly tie the homing device on with a ripped off piece from the back of my shirt, then I leave as quickly as I came before anyone can see me.
I thought that Zach would be asleep by the time I returned but I guess old habits die hard, and of all the places to feel safe anywhere near Manticore definitely isn't one of them.
"We should stay here for the night, they'll be expecting us to move on they'll never look here," he tells me. I can see some of the old Zach showing through. He holds my gaze for a moment longer than necessary before looking away.
I find myself speaking before I am even thinking the words. "Zach." I hesitate to go on, but I do it anyway. "What you said before, about it being different with me...how? How is it different? Why?" I realize where this conversation will take me, will take us but I don't care. I feel something in this cave, something I've never felt before, something strong and frightening, but at the same time alluring, compelling me to go on. He looks at me again, something in his eyes, something burning, silently asking me if I really want to know. I say nothing and so he answers.
"You're not my sister Max, you haven't been my sister since I was sixteen years old and found you for the first time. The minute I saw you I knew everything was going to be different with you. Maybe it was something in the way you walked, or your smile. But any thought I had ever had of you as my sister vanished." He pauses, never taking his eyes away from mine, letting me know that he isn't ashamed of this. I hold my breath, waiting for what he'll say next, my stomach twisting and turning. There is a quickly disappearing part of me that's telling me to make him stop talking, overpowered by a stronger voice telling me that I've been waiting for this.
"I tried to forget about it, to write it off just as attraction, and it worked for awhile. Then I met you again though and I knew it wasn't just attraction, or it wasn't going to stay that way. It seems like you're with Cale though, and so I tried to lay off, the cabin was a slip-up; I didn't mean to touch your hair that way. I just... You left the next morning anyway and when I found out they had you, I knew I couldn't let you go back to Manticore," he finishes, still he doesn't look away, but neither do I.
I want to say something, but no words come to mind. There isn't any conversation I have ever had in my life that can prepare me for what's happening now. I know now that I want this to happen though. I want this to be more. Now that I realize what is here, I can't even pinpoint when it began, fighting with him again for the first time, sitting in Lydecker's SUV, that night in the cabin...maybe it's all been leading up to this.
"I'm not with Logan," I say, the only thing that comes to mind and maybe what he needs to hear. He searches my eyes for a lie, for an uncertainty but I know he finds none. "I thought maybe there was going to be, but that's not going to happen. I care about him, he's my friend and maybe I mistook that for something more but it's not." I don't say anything more and I don't need to.
There is hope in his eyes, and disbelief. I recognize that look. It's when something is happening that you've wanted for so long, you almost don't believe it's happening. He leans forward and I think he is going to kiss me, but he just takes my hand in his and holds it tight. Nothing more is said and nothing needs to be.
End Part One
~~~
Ok, I am as we speak writing the next part, I may or may not finish it and depending on what Owl thinks I may or may not post it. So I left the end in a way that it can end here or be continued. More parts wont have anything to do with feedback so I won't hold part hostage or anything but it is greatly appreciated.