The day Peter left for war with the Calormenes was the day Susan decided she'd never be more scared in her entire life. Lucy and Edmund were standing next to her. Lucy stood with tears in her eyes as she watched her brother ride off with the Narnian army. Susan stood still next to her, with no countenance on her pale face. Edmund was looking down at the Army.

"Ed, you look after the girls. You're the High King while I am gone."

"Yes Peter. I'll make sure no harm comes to them or Narnia in your absence."

Peter turned, and rode after the army. Susan watched for a few more minutes, and then turned abruptly and left. Lucy watched her sister walk away knowing she was going to go to her chambers and cry until her eyes could not force anymore tears to come. Lucy stayed on the balcony though, and waited until she could no longer see her brother and the army.

Several weeks went by, and no word from Peter had come. Lucy kept herself occupied with visits to the Beavers or Mr. Tumnus, and spent a lot of time in a little garden she had planted herself. Edmund was busy with politics and the usual tasks that came with being High King. He was very busy being King Edmund and King Peter. Susan, on the other hand, hardly left her room. Lucy and Edmund were extremely worried about their sister.

Peter lay in his tent all night instead of sleeping. He missed his sisters and Cair Paravel so much, it hurt. He wondered what little Lucy was up to, and wondered how Susan was fairing. He didn't sleep very well, but when he did he dreamed about Susan…

Peter watched from a balcony as Susan walked across the beach. Lately, he had been so confused about his feelings for her, that he had been avoiding her, the best he could. Peter was afraid that he was beginning to love Susan as something more than a sister. He couldn't help himself though…

Susan was so beautiful; he felt he could stare at her for hours… even days. Her skin was pale and soft. It made her look so fragile, like porcelain. Her hair was long, beyond her lower back. It reminded him of silk, how soft it was. Her eyes, her lips… he longed to kiss her sometimes. But whenever these thoughts occupied his mind, he cursed himself. "She's your sister! You'll go to hell for thinking these thoughts. And besides, everyone would disprove of a high king who is with his own sister!"

It was several months afterwards, before he made up his mind about Susan. He decided that she would be worth going to hell for. Just as long as he could have her, kiss her, call her his own. The only thing was, he needed to work up the courage to tell her.

"Susan, can I talk to you?" Peter asked her one sunny afternoon.

"Yes, of course. What is it?" They walked through the gardens, unattended, alone.

"If you love someone, no matter who they are, would you tell them?"

Susan blushed. Her brother had never talked to her about love before. "Well, I would. If you love someone, they should know. Otherwise, you'll never know what could have happened, or not 

have happened. But you must make sure you are really in love with the person. It isn't right to tell someone you love them, when you only lust for them, and then change your mind."

"I am positive I love her. She's loving, intelligent, extremely logical, graceful… she cares for her people, and her people care about her. She is my queen, in every way possible."

Susan stopped dead in her tracks. She looked at Peter, with a shocked countenance. "Peter… what are you saying…"

"I love you, Susan."

Susan could not sleep. It had been weeks since Peter left, and not on soul in Narnia had heard from him or the army. Everyone was getting worried that they had been defeated. Susan was scared. She decided that she would never be more scared in her life than she was at this moment. Tears rolled down her rosy cheeks, as she thought about Peter… her Peter…

"I love you, Susan." Peter said with a sad, hopeful look in his blue eyes.

Susan stood there. She did not know what to say. She had been waiting for this day for so long, fantasized about it in her mind, and now, she could not speak.

For as you see, Susan had been tormented and confused about her feelings for her brother, just like he had. As well as him, she decided to not say a word about them, because she was High Queen, and it is not right to have such thoughts about your brother. She fought with herself, and lost. She could not deny her feelings. But she did not have the courage to tell him. She was scared.

"Peter…" Susan looked up from the ground into her brother's eyes. Peter's heart fell… he expected her to scold him, tell him it's not right, and walk away.

"Peter… I. -II-" she stammered, "I love you as well…"

Peter's eyes grew wide in shock as he looked at his sister. He hastily grabbed her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace as he told her again and again that he loved her.

Susan began to cry again as she recalled all the wonderful times she had with Peter.

Susan crept through the halls of Cair Paravel. It was 2 o'clock in the morning, and the rest of the castle was asleep. She knocked lightly on a gigantic door, and it opened.

Peter stood in the doorway looking at his sister. She was beautiful in the moonlight. It illuminated her skin, which was covered by a silk nightdress that was a pale green. He let her in, and invited her to sit by the fire.

"Is there something wrong?" Peter asked her, concerned something was bothering her. She had never come to him in the night before.

"Yes Peter, there is something wrong." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"What is it?" He asked with a certain fear in his voice.



Susan looked at him, stood, and paced around his room. She sighed, and sat on his bed. "Come here."

He walked over to her, and sat next to her on his bed. He reached for her hand, and the laced their fingers together. Susan looked at him with a subtle desperation. She placed a soft, warm kiss upon his lips. Peter was confused now.

"Susan, is there something honestly wrong?" he asked her sternly.

"No."

Peter looked at her, smiled, and kissed her back. Susan placed her hands on his faced, and returned the kiss, but with more passion. She opened up her mouth, welcoming his protruding tongue. His hands wandered over her body, over her amazing curves, as she ran her fingers through his shaggy blonde hair. He moved onto the bed more, and beckoned her to follow. He lowered himself slowly on top of her as she opened her legs making room for him.

"Peter, make love to me…" she whispered, her voice coarse and low. Peter looked Susan in the eyes, and she could tell what he was thinking. "Peter, I want this. I want you, I need you, I love you."

He smiled softly, his blue eyes soft and warm. He kissed her lips again, softly. He kissed her cheek, her neck, her chest… he reached his arms around her and slipped her nightdress off. Susan pulled his tunic off, and began to undo his belt. They did not stop kissing the entire time they were undressing each other.

After they were both naked, Peter lowered himself back onto her. They kissed again, slow and passionately. Susan had her hands on his hips, as she pulled him close, wanting him inside of her. Peter resisted. Susan whimpered, and tried again. Again, Peter resisted. He knew what he was doing to her. A third time, she pulled him close, and Peter slowly entered her. She moaned, then bit his shoulder a little. Peter moved slowly at first, not wanting to hurt her. He was so nervous, so scared.

"I love you, Peter" Susan breathed heavily. "I love you, I love you…"

Hearing her say that erased all of Peter's fears, and he began to quicken his movements. They made love over and over again for the rest of the night. They finally went to sleep at dawn, when the sun began to rise and the birds began to sing, and slept till noon.

Several more weeks had passed, when Edmund was standing in the early morning on the balcony outside his room. He heard a knock on his door, and welcomed them in.

"Good morning, Ed," said Lucy as she walked over next to him, "What's going on today for you?"

"Well, I have a meeting with a… who's that?" A man was riding fast on a white horse up to the castle.

"Is it… could that be… PETER?" Lucy exclaimed.



But, it was not. "What news have you?" Edmund demanded of the soldier.

"Defeat. We were gravely defeated. Lost more than half the army. No one has seen the high king. I barely made it out of Calormene alive." The soldier was out of breath, wounded and filthy.

"Get this man a doctor, food, a hot bath and a warm bed." Edmund said to a servant. "Lucy, go find your sister, and tell her to come here."

Lucy went to find Susan, who was asleep in her chamber. "Su, Susan, wake up. Edmund has some news for you."

"Is it about Peter?" Susan asked hopefully.

Lucy was not brave enough to tell her sister. She was too scared to see Susan cry some more, not knowing how she would react. "I do not know… Edmund did not tell me. He just said to come get you."

Susan frowned, and went to go meet Edmund. She was scared. "Ed, you had something to tell me?" she asked timidly.

"Susan… I'm so sorry to say this. But, no one knows where Peter is. They can't find him, no one knows if he's dead or alive. I'm so scared…" Edmund began to cry, covering his face with his hands.

Susan looked at him, expressionless. She watched her brother cry, and tears began to well up in her eyes. She slid down the balcony wall unable to breathe. Edmund looked at her and sat down next to her. He put his arms around her, and they cried together. Lucy walked in. She saw them crying, and went over to them and cried with them too. They stayed like that for a very long time. When the sun began to sink lower in the sky, and the stars began to come out, Edmund woke up. Susan was asleep with her head in his lap, and her arms around Lucy. He smiled weakly at his sisters. He gently woke Susan up, and he carried Lucy to bed.

Months passed, and summer grew into fall. No one had heard of Peter, so he was assumed dead. Susan was no longer the happy, beautiful queen everyone knew. She was still beautiful of course, but the sad kind of beautiful, the kind that makes you wonder what could have possibly happened to make her so sad. She took no joy in the balls and parties they still threw to keep the people happy and entertain guests. Edmund was now High King, he took over Peter's place permanently now. Lucy still visited with her friends and the people of Narnia. Susan still continued to be the great politician she was, but that was all she did.

Peter looked at Cair Paravel from across the land. He had entered Narnia two days ago, battered and bruised. After the rest of the men had retreated back to Narnia at his signal, he was captured. He had escaped with his life, but just barely. He found a horse, and rode back to Narnia. It took his 2 weeks to make it back. He was constantly worried and scared he would get caught again, and never see his siblings or Narnia again. He rode through Lantern Waste, past the beaver's dam, past the Fords of Beruna, and onto Cair Paravel. He wanted to see Edmund and Lucy and 

Susan so badly. He knew they that all thought he must be dead. They had most likely already had his funeral.

When he reached Cair Paravel, he looked around to see if anyone was out. It was the middle of the night, and the only people he could see were the guards. He made sure they kept quiet about his return, even though they were rather jubilant about seeing him alive. He shook hands, gave hugs, and made his way into the palace. He walked past Edmund and Lucy's chambers, and made his way to Susan's. Oh god, how he missed her.

He opened the door quietly, thinking she'd be asleep. She wasn't.

"Who's there?" she demanded as she got up from her bed and walked over to the intruder, a dagger in her hand.

"Susan…" Peter breathed, taking in her beauty; he had missed her so much.

Susan recognized his voice. She stood, speechless. After several minutes had passed, and she regained her sanity, Susan got closer to him.

"Is it really… are you real? Is it really you?"

Peter cupped her face in his hands, and kissed her softly. He looked at her, and then kissed her again, deeper, hungrily. "What do you think?" he asked smiling. Susan didn't say anything at all, just cried and threw herself into his arms.

"Shh, it's okay, I'm home. I'm safe now, we don't have to be scared anymore…"