STANDARD DISCLAIMERS: I hereby do not own CardCaptor Sakura. The credit goes to the
talented ladies of CLAMP. Yes, blame them from making this manga & anime. DO NOT
(emphasis on 'do not') however blame them for insanity showcased in this fic. That kind of blame
goes to me. Don't even think of sueing me. I have nothing to give except a few paraphernalia
concerning my little joys in life, which you have to fight me before you lay a finger on them. Got
that?!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: 'Canta per Me' is a sequel to 'Avoir Mal'. Vagueness may ensue. And
when that happens, just spare the author from her mistakes and in turn give good criticisms.
Flames are therefore accepted. Sure, flame all you want. I won't die for that reason alone. (Geez,
I've become a little touchy today) Of course, I dearly hope that I could entertain you with this
little creation of mine. So, go on. Read if you dare.
~~~
Rain falls
Casting its rage on her
Her light of survival
Now slowly fading
Her salvation now far from reach
~~~
It is raining.
She watched as the gentle pattering of raindrops fell on her windowpane. She smiled an empty
one. To practice the façade she thought herself ages ago. As a pale hand lay flat on the window,
tracing the small raindrops, she took in a deep calming breath.
Her gaze focused and unfocused sporadically on the view of the streets just by her window.
The rain grew harder. The sound of the howling wind can be heard faintly from her lifeless room.
Her hand clenched and unclenched on the surface of the widow, seemingly wanting to touch the
drops of water.
The raging sound of the storm drowned the unrelenting silence, as the drops of water fell rapidly
and the pattering grew louder at every minute that passed, a lone tear fell from her already tear-
stained cheek.
She knew she didn't look alright.
She was lonely.
The feeling of unspoken rejection seeped into her heart. Clasping its remaining feelings into the
abyss of dark.
She was hurt.
She was alone.
~~~
Tempra la cetra e canta
Il inno di vita
A noi si schiude il ciel
Volano al raggio
~~~
The sky has veiled itself in the grey clouds. It dullness was cast from all over the city.
He stood in front of the gates of her house. Never revealing himself into her presence just yet.
The dim was firmament reflecting his own thoughts. Murky and unstable. Never did he felt this
unsure in his life. In both lives that he possessed.
The past him never did know how to love. His past persona only set his mind into achievement.
Achievement that led him into his own emptiness. He wasn't aware of whatever or whoever paid
him attention. He never did. Not even if it was blaring itself right in front his very eyes.
Now he, the present one, doesn't want to commit the same mistake again. Not now… not now
that he was given the chance.
The only and probably the last chance that he will get.
God, he wanted to laugh at the droll situation he involved himself in.
He knew he could just do it very well. But the feeling of rejection was still nagging what was left
of the little, well-structured confidence that he has.
'I always make her cry Honestly, I'm afraid of that. I wouldn't want to hurt her. Now would I?'
Second, he didn't want to be the second best. He didn't want to be seen as a replacement of a bestfriend she lost to a certain boy.
He gave out a small laugh.
'Funny, I have no reason to laugh...'
He finally caught the knack of it. He must've gone bonkers already. The situation was slowly and
painfully bringing him to his own deathbed.
So he just stood there, soaking beneath the rain, head angled up to the gray skies, the fleeting
vision of the clouds clearly reflecting through his eyes.
~~~
Eternal darkness blinding my sight
Hope and strength began to wane in distress
I am completely torn in dreams of sorrow and pain
~~~
She continued to stare into the dreary skies, unaware of the tears streaming down her eyes.
The situation is still ironic for her. They had been so close these past few years. Nearing the brink
of the inseparable state. She thought, no, hoped that they could go past that. To consider/ their company into a bit more than a platonic one. But, that came never to be.
When she thought she had found someone who could fill the void lingering in her heart…
He went on to find his happiness.
Happiness that she know she could never give him. Because she's not the one he seeks for. The
one he longs for. The one he needs.
And the fact is…
No matter how she tried to keep on this façade, facing the world smiling, inside she know she
could no longer keep up.
She knew she's starting to fall apart. She'll fall slowly and painfully. Bringing her thoughts, her memories of him together with her. Settling in the dark. With her dreams to sustain her. Still
vaguely looking for her happiness. Still searching.
Still waiting…
Blindly waiting for him to come to her arms.
To stay with her…
~~~
Hopefully I lift my head to the skies above
Speaking thee of thy presence
Searching for thy warmth
I cry gaining naught but cold, empty kiss
I deny all truth
~~~
A fairy tale ending.
'Yes, a fairytale ending. I promised. But it seems like the situations got its back on me.'
'How I wanted to disappear now…'
He wanted to break the mirror that so tormented him and fly off into a mirrorless world. Where
reality became malleable, selective; a seeing of what was desirable and a rejection of everything
else.
The guiding principle would for most people have been a tightrope inviting almost certain
disaster, but he knew this would bring him no complications and no sense of danger. He wanted
to throw the old playthings of self-awareness, grudge, reality, feeling of regret, fear, cowardice
into the garbage can, and to produce a new plaything of wonderful ingenuity and intricacy. And
when that came to be, he knew he had attained perfect happiness.
'Or so I thought.'
Thinking about all those things, he knew he could not easily bend reality.
Because he wouldn't want to. And if he did, he would just lose track of her in a blink of an eye.
As fast as that.
He realized he had been a moron for all these times. All he had been doing is looking for an
escape road. A road so defile, it would bring him to nothingness.
And when that came to be, he would instantly know he wouldn't have the chance to be with her.
With that, he straightened up.
'This is certainly not what I planned to happen.'
~~~
Memories stab me the most
I was tattered not like before
Misery now mars my heart
Knowing you can never be mine
~~~
"Tomoyo-chan?"
She quickly swiped the tears away from her eyes and cheeks and whirled around. Her façade
perfectly in place.
"Sakura-chan." she smiled back at her best friend.
"Is there something wrong?"
"Wrong? Why, there's nothing wrong." Tomoyo whispered.
"Are you sure? You know that you can confide your thoughts to me."
"Thanks. But there really is nothing wrong."
Sakura sighed. Once again defeated by her friend's obstinacy.
"If you say so." Sakura said, eyeing her friend carefully.
~~~
Yet here I linger
Untouched by kindred hands
Unloved
Or am I?
~~~
"How long has it been since you and Li-kun have been together?" the raven-haired girl asked.
"Five years."
"Going strong are you?"
Sakura smiled. "Yes."
"I wish--"
A sudden knock interrupted their talk. A knock that would astound a certain girl's defense.
She, devoid of knowledge that it would soon be the cause for her resistance to fall apart.
"I'll get it Sakura-chan."
~~~
Are you worthy to fall?
Unbind me
Free me
~~~
"Hello, Tomoyo."
His voice echoed in her system.
She looked at him, eyes in complete unbelief.
"Why…"
"Is this not the right time?" he asked, his smile covering up his nervousness.
"Why are you here?"
"Is it wrong?"
"Tomoyo-chan? Let the-- oh my god. Eriol-kun?"
"Good afternoon, Sakura-san." He gave her a curt nod and focused his attention once again on the girl right in front of her.
She looked down.
Heaving quiet but strong breaths.
And finally looked up.
All confusion gone in her face.
Innocence was considered history.
All these replaced by silent anger.
"Tomoyo?" he called out once again.
"Leave."
It was his turn now to be more confused. The fear of rejection now resurfacing.
"Pardon?"
"Leave, Hiiragizawa."
"I won't. I don't want to."
"Oh, don't be stubborn! Go back to Mizuki-sensei and leave me alone!"
"Kaho-san? His boyfriend would kill me if I stuck myself up with her, you know."
Her eyes widened. "What--"
"I'm not willing to make the same mistake again."
She blinked back the tears that started to form behind her eyes. "And I still want you to leave,
Hiiragizawa Eriol."
Silence ruled.
He looked straight into her eyes, wanting to claim the soul beneath it.
But that he couldn't do.
He never wanted to take what can never be his.
With that he looked at her, and nodded.
"I see."
And he turned his back.
Never to return again.
The fairy tale left unfulfilled.
~~~
Hurt in times of endless days and nights
Sleepless sights
Love and I denied of rights
"Canta per Me", you say
"Sing for me", I obey
Tragedy surfaces
I mournfully sing
~~~
"Tomoyo-chan…"
"Sakura…you should go on and leave. Li-kun will be worried."
She fell on her knees.
The burden of a person lost, weighing down her shoulders.
Yes, she was hurt.
And she broke.
The strength of the belle was now gone. Her mask shattered into pieces. Wounding her in the
process.
Yes, Daidouji Tomoyo fell into palms of damage.
"But Tomoyo…"
"Go Sakura!"
~~~
All the time, I was brave
But then…
Nobody knew the terrible weakness that I conceal
And now, I live in despair
~~~
Sakura sighed and kneeled before her best friend.
"You know, he does give up easily doesn't he?" Sakura said.
Tomoyo looked up instantly.
Sakura smiled. "Am I right?"
"Sakura…"
"You like him don't you?"
Tomoyo looked at her, "You don't know what you're saying."
"Yes I do. You just won't accept the fact because you're being too stubborn."
She continued. "I don't know what the hell you're still doing here. If I was at your place, and
Eriol-kun is Syaoran I would've--"
"Oh, shit!" Tomoyo stood up and raced out the house as fast as she could.
Sakura finally stood a wistful smile grazing her lips.
"And finally realization strikes."
~~~
Pick me up from all the mess I made
Reach out to me by your hand
Heal me
Keep me
~~~
"Eriol!" she looked to her left and again to her right.
But he was already out of sight.
"Damn!" she cursed and ran out of the streets, once or twice slipping on the sidewalk.
~~~
He walked not minding the fact that the rain drenched him.
The rain.
It is still falling hard.
But he didn't mind.
The harder it fell, the better.
So he continued to walk aimlessly.
"Eriol! Could you just wait?!"
That sure made him stop and look behind him.
~~~
I sense you are near
For your gentle caress I feel on my face
My lips were kissed by sheer affection and delight
And I knew I was saved
Knowing it was you I felt
~~~
He would've laughed at her if he wasn't such in a foul mood.
She was as soaked as he is, her hair sticking up everywhere; and smudges of mud stained her
clothes.
"Tomoyo."
"You aren't about to leave me again, or are you?" she barked.
"But you just told me to leave. Didn't you?" he asked. An impish smile was slowly forming in his
lips.
"Well, that was-- you are making this hard for me aren't you?"
"No." he grinned.
"God, you're deliberately annoying me!" she ran up to him, but once again slipped into the dicey
pavement.
"I'm fine! You stay there!" she yelled, immediately stopping him in his tracks.
She was now closing in on him, head bowed down.
"God, I'm sorry." she burst out.
"No need for that, Tomoyo."
"But I…"
He placed his hands on each side of her face, running his thumbs on her cheeks, placing his
forehead on top of her own.
"Vous avez de beaux yeux, je pense que je suis perdu dans leur profondeur." He said all these
with ease that it left her arching an eyebrow up.
She scowled.
"I am a complete mess and you still have the audacity to tell me that."
"But it's true. It may not just be your eyes."
She glared at him all the more.
He gave out a small chuckle.
"You're cute, Tomoyo."
"Stop doing that. I'm not even cute."
"But you are."
"You're really infuriating, you know that?"
"Ah yes. Infuriating yet impeccable, am I?"
She smiled. "God, I hate you."
"Ne parlez pas." Eriol said firmly and pulled her in for a kiss.
And she didn't complain.
~~~
As the tale unfolds in your eyes
Let it stay in your heart
The ending now fulfilled
Two hearts at ease
Their lonely fates shatter
A new destiny opens
~~~
"Tomoyo, do you believe in fairy tales?"
"I don't Eriol. They're mere figments of human's desire."
"I see."
"But I believe in fairy tale endings."
With that he smiled. "Same here."
~~~
At last I heard you, heard you so clear
The words you whispered yet I so deftly hear
I smiled, knowing salvation is at hand
The three words you've spoken have been cherished have not been bland
I am not anymore devoid of a spark of chance
For it was you who gave me deliverance
And so I say...
~~~
Who needs Cinderella anyway?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN: And it is done! Finally! Now, to rev up 'Salva Nos'! Honestly I don't have the courage to re-read the whole 'Canta per Me' fic again. I'm afaid I'll get sick if I did so.
Oh, and please leave a review!
TRANSLATIONS:
Canta per Me - Sing for Me
Tempra la cetra e canta - Strengthen your lyre and sing
Il inno di vita - The hymn of life
A noi si schiude il ciel - The sky opens to us
Volano al raggio - They fly to the ray
Vous avez de beaux yeux, je pense que je suis perdu dans leur profondeur - You have beautiful
eyes, I think that I am lost in their depths.
Ne parlez pas - Don't speak