- + - Crushing Secrets - + -
Goten wasn't at all sure what to make of any of this. The last thing he expected today was to have her waltz back into Satan City, let alone back into his life. Yet here she was, laying unconscious on his couch, in his livingroom...more stunningly beautiful then he could remember. The first glimpse of her had hit him like a hard punch to the gut. Even though he'd been a distance away, he'd been by her side the second he saw her collapse and caught her. However now he tried his damndest to keep his distance as he slowly paced the opposite side of the livingroom, his thoughts all over the place. He wondered why she was back, why she was here, to see him. Then somewhere along the line he'd stopped moving altogether and just stared at her. Comparing her to the last mental image he had of her. First of all...he loved the way she looked in black, no matter what it was, and her trendy skirt suit did her justice. Her hair was a little shorter but still glossy and gorgeous in his eyes. She looked so peaceful when she slept too. He couldn't begin to imagine what kind of conversation they could hope to have when she awoke, but he knew he'd just have to wait and see. It was another five minutes later before she stirred. And for reasons beyond his comprehension he was instantly there, at her side, on his knees by the couch. "Hey there...are you okay?"
Her eyes fluttered open slowly...and she was greeted by the ever concerned sight of him. She felt completely embarassed now. She blushed some and nodded lightly. She should have known that he'd still be a gentleman after all these years. She almost wished he'd have been a prick to her...then at least that would make this entire thing easier. But for Bren's sake she was glad he wasn't. She sat up now, to Goten's obvious protest.
"You should lay down...you look pale.."
She imagined she did. She hadn't slept well ever since she'd decided to come back, she could barely eat anything. None of that mattered though, she just wanted to get this over with. She wrapped her arms around herself, as if she were cold, and nodded to the seat beside her for him to sit, which he did, and she was glad he'd put a shirt on. "We need to talk.."
"Heh, ten years and not even a polite...hey...how are you...I guess they're right when they say designers are ditsy."
She'd allow him that much. He'd be taking more cracks at her when she told him what she had to tell him anyway. She couldn't seem to think when she was this close to him though, so she stood up and started to pace, to get her mind back on track. "Goten...first off...I need to tell you that I'm sorry for leaving the way I did...I'm sorry for every stitch of pain I've caused you...and every other stitch I'm about to cause..."
He had to agree with her in the sense that an apology was long overdue. He shrugged. "You were angry, I get that. I was being selfish in asking you to stay...I realized that I could have handled it better, we could have worked something out...but why am I not getting a good vibe from this?" There was something else...and the look she gave him now verified that all the more. She was about ready to cry. Now for the second time he came to her side. He rubbed at her arms gently, his eyes fixing on hers. "What else did you come here to say..?" There was some ever hopeful part of him which was telling him that perhaps her other confession would be her love for him. A thought which instantly made his heart race...but her eyes killed that hope. Whatever she had to say was not good.
Just the fact that he was touching her was throwing her off all the more. She couldn't think straight. She pulled herself from him and continued before he could get another word in. "I never meant for it to be this way...but after a while it got so much easier...and so much harder...but I couldn't turn back...I...I thought I was doing what was best...I thought...it would be easier on you...I didn't--...I tried..." A glance at him and she saw the confusion in his eyes. She realized she was babbling, and crying. She shook her head, the tears continuing to stream down her cheeks.
"Bra, relax...you'll make yourself sick...sit down.."
"No, Goten, I have to tell you..."
"Tell me what?"
He looked so concerned for her. She could tell she was beginning to scare him, but she was scaring herself too. Too much more of this and she knew she'd faint again. "Goten...I'm sorry...so so sorry..." But this was it. Whether he'd hate her or not, it wasn't about just her anymore. "Ten years ago...that night I left you...I was pregnant Goten.." And then she felt the lump in her throate swell so much that she coudn't speak anymore, and she couldn't bare to look at him. She leaned herself against the nearest wall for support and covered her mouth, trying desperately to calm herself.
Goten shook his head slowly, his eyes wide. He felt both his emotions and heart get thrown into the proverbial blender. He didn't know how to react. How would anyone react to this? She'd gotten pregnant by him...and had never said a word till now. That did it. He glared at her angrily, even though she still cried. "Why...why on earth didn't you tell me?"
She wiped at her tears. "I didn't want to be stuck here...if I had told you, anyone, my parents would have made me stay...I couln't do that Goten...I couldn't go through that..."
"So you cheated me out of ten years of MY childs life because you were insecure!" He wanted to punch something, anything, but he struggled to keep his anger in check.
"I realized later how stupid I'd been...but then I needed to prove I could do it alone...that me and my son would be perfectly fine on our own. I admit it was stubborn pride but I fought long and hard to make a life for us and I did just that!" She wasn't crying anymore, instead she was firmly standing her ground.
And again he was taken aback. "I have a son..." It was a whisper but she still heard it.
"We have a son...a wonderful son...god Goten you'd be so proud of him...he's put up with my fears all this time.."
"At least one of us is tolerant of your shit! Damnit Bra...I could have taken care of you...I would have been there, how could you be so cold after all we shared that night?"
She crossed her arms and looked away from him, her voice a bit more hushed than before. "You're right...we shared a lot that night...but what kept replaying over and over again in my head was the life you said you wanted. A life I realized that I couldn't be a part of because the life I wanted was far from what you wanted...far from what you needed." Her eyes fell back to his, pleading silently for his understanding. "You had such potential Goten...whenever I looked at you I could just see this bright light shining through...everything about you. You had talent...a future...I couldn't allow myself to get in the way of any of that...I wanted you to have a life without the burden of me in it. I can't even begin to imagine where you'd be now if I'd stayed..."
"Happy...endlessly and blissfully fuckin' happy with you and my son." He saw the shock in her eyes but didn't care. Right now he was beyond caring what she wanted or didn't want to hear. "Because I don't abandon people who need me...but as you've so clearly stated...you didn't need me...you could handle it all on your own...but it's funny..because it never once occured to you that maybe..just maybe...I needed you..."
She was speechless.
"But no...you couldn't see past your damn insecurity. It was all about you wasn't it? Stop the world from turning...anything just so precious Bra doesn't get hurt. Well how do you think this makes me feel princess? I'll tell you how it makes me feel. Like I've just spent the past ten years of my life telling myself that what you did was somehow right. That the way you left was justified in some way. But I guess I was wrong wasn't I? I've just spent the last ten years of my life wasting my emotions on a person that could care less..."
"That's not true! Damnit, I know what I did was wrong. Hell, I'll be the first to admit I've done a lot of stupid things but you have to believe me Goten...I thought what I was doing was best for the three of us. For you...for me...and for our son..."
"Why now?" The look of anger in his eyes hadn't faded one bit.
"Trunk's wedding...ever since our son was old enough to understand...I've made sure he knew his mother was a damn coward who ran away from home. I told him about everyone...and why it was so hard to go back to it all. He never judged me though...never showed any signs of bitterness. I suppose he thought one day he'd come out here on his own...but I didn't want it to come to that, I couldn't let it come to that. I couldn't hold him back anymore just because I was scared...and I wouldn't miss this wedding...not for anyone..."
Somewhere along the line his anger had tapered off. He still looked deeply troubled, but he seemed to be thinking more than anything. "What's his name?" His voice was certainly calmer. She was thankful for that much.
"Bren...you know...Bra...Goten..." His light nod meant he'd made the connection. For a second she even saw a hint of a smile, but it was gone almost as soon as it had appeared.
"Where are you staying?"
She knew there would be no more pleasantries, and now he would ask only the questions necessary for him to find his son. "We're staying at the mansion..."
He nodded. "How long will you be here?"
She shrugged. "I'm making Pan's dress...so..about till just after the wedding. Maybe longer."
Then there was silence for a while. She watched him stare idly ahead of him. His next movements were too sudden for her. He went off into the kitchen, retrieved his jacket and walked out the front door. A moment later she heard the unmistakable rev of a motorcycle as she knew he was gone. She stayed where she was for at least ten more minutes, leaned against the wall. A part of her was glad it was finally over...but the pain she'd caused him was slowly eating away at her. The thought that it all could have been prevented, had she simply had more backbone in the past, kept running through her head. But what was done was done...and now she felt so completely drained. She walked out to the front of the house and sat on the front steps as she took out her cell phone and dialed Pan's number. Two minutes later, after the call had ended, she could only stare out at the horizon, watching as the sun set. Some time later...she wasn't sure how long, Pan's car pulled up. She imagined she must have looked a total mess, because Pan's alarm was obvious. Pan sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I guess it didn't go too well..."
Bra sniffled. "There was no way it could...you'd feel the same way if someone had kept your child from you for ten long years..." She stood and got into the car. Pan followed, not speaking again till they were well on their way back to the mansion.
"You know...he's angry now...and my guess is he'll be that way for a while...but I happen to know for a fact that he's had you on the brain all these years, even if he is a bit stubborn to admit it..."
Bra shook her head. She couldn't delude herself into thinking that Goten would ever forgive her. Pan registered her friends reluctance to carry on a conversation, and really, she couldn't blame her.
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- + - Chapter Three - + -
- + - Avoidance - + -
She'd gone straight to bed when she got home from her confrontation with Goten. She didn't have the strength for much else. She slept in her old room, happy to find that her mother hadn't changed a thing about it. She awoke around twelve in the afternoon the next morning. After she'd washed up and gotten dressed she went downstairs, only to find a note in the kitchen from her mother.
'Morning pumpkin. I'll be off in the lab for most of the day.
I suggest you eat something and call Pan for a measurement
session. Trunks took Bren out earlier for some training in
the countryside. Bren seemed happy about it and said you
wouldn't mind much. I'll see you later in the afternoon.'
-Mom
Bra took a glance out the window. She was glad Bren was finally getting the chance to spend time with his family...she just hope neither one of them would get carried away. She then took her mothers advice and had a bagel, then called Pan.
"Hello?"
"Hey Pan."
"Bra, hey. How are you, feeling any better?"
"A little. The rest certainly helped. Anyway, I was wondering if you had any free time today. You know, the measurements for the dress and all."
"Yeah...the day's going to be kinda hectic for me, but I think I can free myself up around three-ish, is that okay?"
"That's fine. I'll be here."
"Alright, bye."
"Bye." She ended the call and had been about to go into the main livingroom and watch t.v. but she heard the doorbell. She figured she was probably the only person in the house, so with a sigh she went to the front door and opened it...her eyes widening at the sight of Goten. "Goten...I.." She cleared her throat, then tried to stay calm. She took a step to the side to let him in, then closed the door behind him. She crossed her arms as she tried to keep her eyes anywhere but on him...for some reson the vision of him sweaty and shirtless just wouldn't leave her brain. "If you're looking for Bren, he's not here. He's off with Trunks..." Then she closed her eyes, obviously trying to determine what direction they were in by picking up on Bren's power level. She then pointed to the left of her. "About five miles that way..." Her eyes opened to find him staring at her, not in a mad way, which is why it surprised her.
He expected her to change in a lot of ways over the years. He sure as hell expected her to get a lot colder. But he never counted on her getting stronger. He could sense it even when she was calm. She'd gone through some kind of heavy training. It was almost enough to make him smile...almost.
She realized his look of confusion was probably because she had pinpointed where their son was. She shrugged lightly and went to lean against a wall near the kitchen. "I couldn't just tell Bren never to use his powers...I didn't want that. In a way I wanted him to be as strong as his father. I trained him as best I could...I guess I got a lot out of it too though." She had to wonder why he was still here. Why were those dark eyes still staring at her if all he came here for was his son? He hadn't said a word as of yet...and that was making her very nervous. He walked twords her then, she thought he'd just go right by her and leave through the back door...but instead he planted one hand on the wall behind her, pinning her there. Her eyes went wide and before she could say anything his lips had claimed hers, fiercly at that. The kiss was never meant to be gentle, just brutal. She realized that Goten was taking what he wanted, and to hell with what she thought, if she'd wanted him to stop he wouldn't have. But then it didn't matter because she didn't want him to stop.
Meanwhile, Goten had no idea what had come over him. She made him furious, and yet his first instincts since he'd seen her in his backyard were to be near her like this. To have her like this. He felt more than heard her whimper against him, which only fueled his lust and need. He figured this was deffinitely a better outlet for his anger, but he'd accomplished what he'd set out to do, and that was to surprise her. He pulled away from the kiss now and took a step back for good measure. He'd done a lot of thinking in the past twenty four hours. And what it all came down to was that he'd spent the past ten years believing that she was the only one for him. That one day she'd see that they belonged together and she'd come back, and if not then he would go to her and find out if there was anything left of the love he felt that night. But now she was here, not only her but his son as well. Angry as he was at her, all the tears she'd shed yesterday had said so much more than her words ever could. He was going to have Bra and his son in his life one way or the other...but nothing could be done until she did away with her pride and admitted she needed him. He watched her catch her breath and touch her lips, pink and swollen from his kiss. It took all he had not to smile and go at it again. He didn't want her to have the chance to say anything, just to think about what had happened. He turned and left the way he came.
Once outside he noticed that Bra had been right. Trunks and his son weren't that far off. From what he could sense though, they were in one heck of a training session. He couldn't help a smile. His body was lifted off thr ground and he flew to a spot in a clearing where he felt their power levels the strongest. He was lowered gently to the ground and saw Trunks standing a few feet ahead of him, arms crossed, staring blankly ahead of him. He went to stand beside his friend. "What's going on?"
Trunks looked to him and smirked lightly. "You're just in time. Your son should be here in about seven seconds."
Goten blinked a bit, getting slightly more nervous. He knew the key to earning his sons love and respect was just being himself...but he could never remember being more nervous in his life. Goten counted silently and sure enough, seven secons later a swift breeze passed by them. They turned and for the first time he set his eyes on his son. He looked about nine or ten, definitely strong though, and he could sense a massive power. What he was most surprised to see was that the boy was in his super saiyajin form, staring at him curiously. His power level lowered as he shifted back to his normal form. Now he saw that the boy was a perfect mix of him and Bra. His bangs were the same blue as her hair, and the rest of his hair, though calmer than his, was black. The silence continued on for a minute or two. Both father and son seemed reluctant to say anything just yet. And so Goten was thankful that Trunks chimed in.
"Way to go, kiddo. I wish I could have done something like that at your age..."
Goten blinked. "What'd he do?"
Trunks smiled. "He made a trip around the globe in just under eleven seconds. I didn't want to start with anything too heavy...so I thought I'd see if he was better at power or agility."
"And...?"
"Let's just say I'm glad he's on our side. The kid's got it all. Makes me wonder what the hell my sister fed him as a baby."
Goten's eyes fell back to his son, a sense of pride developing somewhere within him. With a smirk he then tossed his jacket aside.
Bren crossed his arms and spoke to his father for the first time. "You're him, right? My dad?" His eyes remained fixed on Goten's as if he didn't trust him. Goten nodded. He'd always been curious about what kind of guy his father was, but for the moment he had something he needed to do. "Spar with me then. And just to make it interesting...if I win...you have to forgive mom."
Goten perked a brow. He had to admire his sons loyalty. "I'll think about it. And what if I win?"
Bren shrugged. "I'll give you half a chance of getting to know me." Bren wouldn't dare admit that he wanted to spend time with his father more than anything, but even as young as he was, he knew his father would want the same thing, probably even more so since he'd just discovered he even had a son. So Bren was taking a gamble, but if it could help his mother then it was worth it. The young boy crossed his arms.
It was amazing to Goten how much Bren's eyes resembled his mothers. The subtle look of defiance he saw there was almost the same thing he'd seen in Bra's eyes just the other day. He smirked and nodded lightly. "You're on."
- - - - - - - - + - - - - - - - -
"Christ, woman, you've measured me twice and both times my waist size was different, make up your mind." Pan glared at Bra playfully as she always used to when they messed with eachother. Bra now shook her head a bit to get a firmer grip on her concentration. Ever since Goten had left her in the kitchen the way he did, she hadn't been able to think straight. Now she smiled a bit.
"I'm sorry. My mind is just somewhere else right now."
"Relax, I'm sure Bren's fine."
'If only it was just that.' thought Bra. The reality of it all was that she knew her son would be fine. He was strong, even for a saiyajin. What she was worried about was his first meeting with his father. She knew Goten would like him. There was just something about his eyes, you just couldn't dislike him right off unless he gave you a reason to, and very rarely did he give anyone a reason to dislike him. However, she had to admit that over he years she hadn't painted Goten to be the proverbial scorned prince. Of course she'd never said anything hateful about him, but she knew her son was very protective of her, and what if his own curiousity about his father just wasn't enough for him to give Goten a chance? What if Goten blamed her for his sons hatred of him?
"Bra...?" Pan waved a hand in front of Bra's eyes, and only now did Bra realize that she'd been staring blankly ahead of her.
She knew she needed to stop worrying about it. Worrying would only make it worse. She sighed lightly and went to sit on a chair near a window. She needed to get her mind off of what may or may not be going on between her son and his father. "Hey Pan...how's your business doing?" Bra had been wondering about that for some time now. Bulma had only ever told her vaguely about what Pan did. Apparently some time after Pan graduated she'd used the money she'd gotten from her parents and the money she'd made at her part time job to build a small business for herself and a few close friends. She was basicly the brains behind a company that provided protection for people who were willing to pay for it. Trunks beside her. Though a few years ago she'd heard that their base building had burned down. She never really found out if they rebuilt or not. She saw only optimism in Pan's eyes though so she assumed everything was okay.
"Well...it was hell for a while after the fire. Getting started again wasn't easy, but by then people trusted us. Important people too...some who backed us up financially to help us get back on our feet. Everything's fine now...it's funny though...I never saw this kind of life for myself back in high school.." Bra saw Pan's eyes grow distant.
"I meant to ask you that too...what on earth put you on this particular track?"
Pan smiled fondly on her memories. "Now if you'd have been here, you'd know..." She winked playfully at Bra. "It's simple really, starting college I had no idea what I wanted to do yet. Then eventually I started seeing things I didn't like. People getting picked on, college kids threatened. I turned a blind eye to it like everyone else. Pretty soon I started spending more and more time in the city at night...parties and clubs, things like that. I started seeing it on the streets though. There's only so much I can stand really. At first it was just me. I'd rough someone up who was picking on someone else, just to teach them a lesson, Trunks was scared for me though. He'd tag along...and people were grateful. Somewhere along the line we got famous...and people payed us wheather we wanted it or not. Trunks sat me down for a serious talk one night...like two years into it...all the 'crime fighting' was interfering with my school work. We were making money though, we couldn't just stop. So we came to a compromise. We'd let the people who needed us come to us. Our reputation was good enough at the time, and anyone who didn't know who to turn to, and didn't want to rely on the idocy of the police usually found out about us from someone else. I took that business course before Marron, which is why when she finally came around I suggested she do it too. After that I graduated, and started by business with Trunks."
Bra nodded, and now more than ever she wished to god she'd never left. But it was too late to change anything like that now. So she smiled. "I'm glad it all worked out." The two girls shared a fond smile...then both turned around in shock as the front door make a loud sound as it was thrown open. Pan and Bra stood and ran to the mansion's entrance. Bra's eyes widened as Goten entered...carrying an unconsious Trunks. Without a word Goten went into a livingroom and layed Trunks out on a couch.
"What the hell happened!" Demanded Pan.
"Relax Pan, he's alright, promise, he just got the wind knocked out of him." Pan glared at Goten, who instantly shook his head.
"Hey, don't look at me.." He then pointed behind him to Bren who was standing at the door, shyly.
Pan seemed shocked, as if she didn't believe it possible, but Bra was giving her son an angry, scolding mother, kind of look. "Bren Brandon Briefs...I told you well before we came here that if this kind of thing came up to go easy until you were sure you could let loose..." She then rubbed her temples as if this sort of thing happened all the time.
And Bren rolled his eyes as if he'd heard the same warning before. "I know...I'm not a complete spaz..." He crossed his arms.
It was Goten who came to his defense. "I'd gotten him aggrivated, it was my fault, he blasted me, it was small but damn...it packed a punch...Trunks came and took it for me."
"And...that's the last time...I'll defend you...against my newphew...next time...I'm on his side..." Trunks coughed and sat up, though he was hunched over a bit and couldn't open one eye.
Pan then sat at Trunks' side and hugged him. "Wow...way to go Bren." She giggled.
"Hey...you're supposed to be on my side." Trunks smiled and looked to her.
"I am hun...but seriously...how many nine year olds do you know that can kick both yours and Goten's ass? Especially with how long you two have been training, god...if I wasn't afraid he'd kill someone I'd beg Bra to let me hire him." Everyone laughed a little to that and then Pan helped Trunks to stand, her mouth opened to say something but Bra waved a hand to dismiss her.
"Go on...you probably want to get him cleaned up. I can work with these measurements and I'll have some sketches ready for you in two or three days."
Pan nodded and smiled. "Alright...come on, you." She rolled her eyes at Trunks' clearly exagerated moan of pain and walked him slowly up the stairs, kissing every part of his face that he claimed hurt.
Bra now crossed her arms and looked back to Bren with that serious look of hers. He shot her a charming boyish smile. She sighed a bit and shook her head then pointed up the stairs. "Go and wash up...I'll yell at you some more later." They both knew it was an empty threat. But he went anyway, sharing a look of mutual respect with Goten before he left. Bra caught the look though and once she was sure Bren was out of earshot, she spoke. "And what exactly was that all about?" Her smile had faded though, she noticed that it was just her and Goten, and in her mind the room was slowly getting smaller and smaller.
Goten shrugged, a hint of a smile still pulling at the side of his lips. "We have an understanding..."
Bra wasn't sure whether that was good or bad, but the look on Bren's face didn't seem mad, so she didn't worry too much. She had the overwhelming urge to leave the room, with the level of uncomfort she now felt, but something compelled her to ask... "Goten...about this morning.."
"What about it?"
She could see his charming smile threatening to return. Did he want to know that it had gotten to her? That after all these years he still made her knees turn to mush? Well she wouldn't give him the satisfaction! She turned her head away. "What you did was completely uncalled for, really, I thought you'd have more sense."
He expected this much from her. Stubborn to the very end. He knew she felt something though, or else she wouldn't have let it go on for as long as it had. He smiled and shook his head a bit. "Really? Was it that unbearable?"
She still didn't allow herself to look at him. Because if she did she probably would have told the truth and said she liked it...a lot. "Yes...it was..."
She was still a terrible liar. He knew this because she always bit her bottom lip when she lied...just like she was doing now. But he'd play along for the time being. "I see...because it messes with whatever boyfriend situation you have in Zenith?"
She couldn't concentrate again, he was coming steadily closer to her. She should have lied...but instead she simply told the truth. "No.."
"Fiancee?" He came ever closer.
"...No.."
"Lover?"
"No."
And now, with those three questions out of the way he had no problem doing what he did next. Again he somehow had her against the wall, she had nowhere to go. He leaned in and planted a gentle but searing kiss on her jawline, then lifted his head a bit and let his tongue run over her lips and then...he pulled away. She could only guess he just watched her stand there and open her eyes..dazed..for his own amusement...which of course made her mad. She glared at him..but again, before she could get a word in, he turned and left.
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