"L, do you know gods of death love apples?"
Damn you Kira.
L never considered he'd reach such extents on working on a sole case. All his life he used to work on cases that were indeed intriguing, but never even compared to the level of this one he's currently working on. He remembered the first months when he began his detective work, and how utterly thrilling everything seemed to him. All those targets he had vowed to bring to justice, the suspects and the constant reminder of a challenge arising to test his abilities and his potential, the incredible motivation that has been installed in him along with the feeling that he's capable of doing everything and conquering all the power to himself, of winning the battle and proving to be victorious over those who doubted his capacities and the genius he was. That was the reason why he had an exceptional passion for his work in the first place.
But this case.. This case was different. Kira was different.
No matter how much he wanted to maintain the objectivity he always had towards his targets, Kira was always there to remind him that he will be without a doubt personally involved in the matter. Once he had first agreed to take the case, he kept in mind that Kira was just another criminal along hundreds of others he had no problem capturing whatsoever. In fact, the longest time it had ever taken him to catch a criminal was roughly three weeks. Who would've thought Kira would be so dark and complex and mysterious, so captivating?
L has even fantasized of being able to physically encounter this mastermind and discover the roots behind its dark allure and engaging promises, this genius who proved to be the only one able to reach L's level. L hated Kira for his false ideas and his arrogance, but he also respected him for being a competent and worthy opponent. L never even grasped a clear understanding of Justice, or rather never really cared for the real meaning of the word, not until Kira showed up in his life. He never regarded his job as a duty, he never felt that he's capturing criminals because he has to, his job was his passion, his hobby, something he deliberately chose to do merely because he wanted to, because it interested him. That was one of the reasons why he never felt so stressed or obliged to do something against his will. When Kira showed up and shamelessly provoked him under the claim of Justice, he felt compelled to rise up to the challenge and prove that selfish oppressive lunatic that he's wrong. When Kira indirectly patronized L's capabilities and his worth, L stopped at nothing to prove to the bastard that this goddamn Justice he thought was so precious was flawed, a result of his arrogance and stubbornness.
This was the first time in his life he felt obligated to prove his capacities to the world, to Kira, to secure his pride and his glory, to win the battle.
"It's not a sense of justice. Figuring out difficult cases is my hobby. If you measured good and evil deeds by current laws, I would be responsible for many crimes. The same way you all like to solve mysteries and riddles, or clear video games more quickly. For me too, it's simply prolonging something I enjoy doing. That's why I only take on cases that pique my interest. It's not justice at all. And if it means being able to clear a case, I don't play fair, I'm a dishonest, cheating human being who hates losing."
Indeed. It has never been about Justice, it has always been about winning the game. But today, with Kira's presence, what once had been all about winning has turned out to be all about pride.
Pride.
L had long accepted that he's a hypocrite, that he doesn't care for the common good as much as he cares for his welfare and his confections. Unlike Kira who lied to everyone including himself, L had lied to everyone except himself. He wasn't delusional and age and experience have taught him to know himself better and to accept who he was. He was clearly aware of his actions and their consequences, and whatever he did in the past or during the present, he violently chose to do it with all his free will. He never regarded criminals in a human way. To him, they were but test subjects and his job was to simply pass the test. Whether it be his lethargic persona or his general apathy towards people, he never really cared for the emotions or mental states of those around him, let alone criminals'. He never even felt hate or disgust towards them, and he has firmly believed that his objectivity was what made him successful in the first place. If he were biased, he'd end up a loser. There shouldn't be anything he needs from this world or anything that attaches him to it. His true power lied within his indifference and his secrecy, and there was no way in the world he would lose that for it was the best feeling he's ever felt and he adored the position it awarded him.
Domination. Superiority. No feeling could ever compare to that, certainly not goddamned love. Kira was no exception. He was sure he would exterminate him like he never existed, but for the first time in his life, he would actually have fun while doing it. Kira created in him feelings he had never experienced before; hatred, anger, compulsion, frustration, excitement, even passion. To sum it all up, he was personally interested, intrigued, thrilled by the challenge and by the person who offered it. He never thought he would be so emotionally captivated, even magnetized by someone who he couldn't even identify. He was obsessed with proving himself superior. After all, he deserved it, didn't he? He was naturally qualified and it was high time years of improving himself and working his best become finally utilized in something much greater than those cases he used to think were so special until the phenomenal Kira made his entrance.
"I wonder, Kira, would my life be this fun without you around?"
The answer was no. He knew the answer was no. His life was a permanent battle against those who were smart enough to challenge him, and the most qualified, provokable, interesting adversary was no one other than Kira. L didn't think he'd find someone like him in a million years. The perfect nemesis. Others might consider that as ironic, but if there was one thing L has ever loved -other than his darling confections- it was challenge, for only challenge had the power of unlocking the person's full potential, or else they wouldn't be tempted to do it.
For the first time in his life, Kira offered him a challenge so great he would risk his comfort, his happiness, his life and everything he had just to prove worthy of the test. L, who had never even cared about his victims, would give up everything in order to strangle Kira with all his might. L, who had always regarded criminals with nothing but passivity, has learnt how to hate Kira with all his power for being so condescending. He never even once felt compelled to prove anything to anyone, yet here he is, struggling to prove himself worthy in front of Kira.
He couldn't be happier with this chance Kira has given him. He didn't even realize he had carved for a competition like this so badly. He knew he was the only one worthy of this task and proving superior was his primary motive. He didn't care if he were selfish and careless about the lives of those who were involved, because his only goal was beating Kira by any means possible, through capturing him and discovering how he kills, and that's what he shall do; he will catch Kira and sentence him to this thing he called Justice one way or the other.