To know his girl
- harmed herself was not okay
- starved herself was not okay
- cried alone was not okay
- got bullied was not okay
- hated herself was not okay
- still harms herself was not okay
- attempted suicide was not okay
- was finally happy made him happy
She was beautiful, she was just oblivious. She was too blind to see it, but she really was.
He knew it. In fact, he quite admired the fact that she's so gorgeous. It would be understatement to say he never worried about her. There was much to worry about, she wasn't as perfect as everybody thought. Well, she was. But her life wasn't.
Many times when they were together he would notice these scars on her arms. Now Austin Moon was no fool, he knew what that meant. She harmed herself. That did not satisfy him at all.
To know his girl harmed herself was not okay.
He didn't do much. He didn't know what to do.
And he regretted it
It all started when they were all together, just casually hanging out around the mall. Making a mess but not caring. That's when he first noticed.
Ally, being Ally, apologized for everything the did wrong. He would laugh at that. She was such a goodie two shoes, but that was okay because she was his goodie two shoes.
They were sitting at Mini's when he saw it. The sleeve of the sweatshirt her gave her a long, long time ago was lifted by accident and his gaze caught on to something. A scar. A scar that appeared to be fading, but didn't seem to be the only one.
He knew about this, but thought she stopped.
He almost choked on his mini pizza and Ally's head shot his way. Well, all the heads shoot his way, but only hers mattered right now.
He noticed she wasn't eating unlike the rest of team Austin, who were ready for round two of mini pizza's, smoothies, hamburgers and fries. Ally was just drinking water. Why? He had no idea and honestly couldn't think of a reason why she wouldn't eat.
Maybe she wasn't hungry?
Then again, when was the last time he saw her put food in her mouth.
He knew it, right then and there and it was not okay.
To know his girl starved herself was not okay.
As soon as the two of their friends left he confronted her. They were alone, up in the practice room and he knew that time was better then any.
He plumped down next to her on the piano bench, looking over at her " Why? ".
She knew what he was talking about and he knew she knew so there was no avoiding it. She had to be honest with him and that was hard " I need to do it Austin ".
" Why? "
She licked her lips " Because I want to be beautiful and " She looked up, imagining it " and I want to be skinny. And I want to be worth you. Girls flirt with you all the time and I want to be as beautiful as they are so that you don't even think about them- "
" -but Ally you are beautiful! Gorgeous even. Heck! You're flawless " he told her, gazing into those chocolate eyes of hers " By starving yourself you won't get anywhere " he let out a sigh and took her small, fragile, cold hands into his much bigger, warmer ones " Promise me you'll stop "
She hesitated but nodded " Alright " she knew he won't let her so she gave in " I promise "
Watching her lie down on the couch, letting the tears float down her cheeks hurt him. His heart was in pain. He hated it. Why was she crying. If she was sad she should have called him and he would comfort her.
He didn't hesitate, not even for a second, he walked over to her and took a seat down next to her on the comfterble couch.
She stopped dead in her tracks. What had she gotten herself into? Did she forget to lock the door? Guess she must've forgotten to because he found her. Not that she minded but she wished to cry alone. She preferred to be alone when she broke down into tears. Being weak isn't what she wished for him to think of her as.
His hand pressed against her cheek, his thumb wiping away her tears. " What's wrong Als? " he questioned her, knowing she won't tell him but asked anyways. Just to test his luck.
She shook her head and sat up so that she was next to him now. He didn't waste one second but placed his arm around her waist pulling her closer to him.
To know his girl cried alone was not okay.
That was not going to stay like that. She was never going to cry alone again. He made sure of it.
Every once in a while he made sure to call her, if her voice seemed like it was even a tiny bit shaky then he was there.
She was never going to be sad alone. Never. Her crying alone was not something he approved of.
Just walking down the school hall, heading toward his girl's locker. A normal Austin Moon morning. Greeting his friends randomly in the hallway. Spreading the good vibe and positive energy he possessed around.
The sight he saw did not please him at All!
She had tears streaming down her cheeks but the real hurt was in her eyes. The pain she held back, not allowing anybody else to see it. He knew she felt it.
" Self harming freak " the guy standing all to close that it was dangerous to get physical told her and did none the less then spit in her face.
Ally gasped, even she didn't see it coming. How shocking. She was disgusted by it and swallowed hard.
The guy however didn't waste much time and made a movement and kicked Austin's girl in the stomach. Austin's girl should never be treated like that. Not on his watch.
To know his girl got bullied was not okay.
He didn't waste one more moment and without hesitation pinned the guy onto the locker after witnessing what he had witnessed. He wished he didn't have to see that, just as much as he wished she didn't have to feel that.
He made sure the guy was unable to move as he spoke " Touch her one more time and you'll end up in the hospital, hanging to your dear life. Got it? ".
The guy nodded and Austin let him go, pushing him onto the floor. The guy stood up and walked off, too well too soon.
He should've ripped his head for even thinking about insulting his girl, let alone actually doing it and then physically harming her. But what the guy said still echoed in his head. 'Self harming freak'? Self harming? Wasn't she done with that?
He knelt down next to her and embraced her in his arms. She was so small. She was so fragile. She was such an easy target.
Well not anymore. Not while she's his girl.
He climbed up the steps up to her room. They were going to the beach and he was picking her up. She said she'd met him there but the thought of her walking along the beach in a bikini on her own just killed him. How many perverts would admire those legs of hers? Too many. Not to mention other parts of her.
He walked to her door frame and found her watching herself into the mirror in her bikini. God, the sight just killed him. She was his, at least that's something. No one else could touch her, that thought was satisfying.
She was muttering something under her breath. She groaned as her hand flew across her stomach " -how can Austin like this? "
At the mention of his name his expression changed. Was she still hung up on not being beautiful? That couldn't be the case, he hoped.
" So much fat " She groaned again and she placed her hands on her tiny hips " I don't get why he's with me. It's not like I'm anything compared to all those gorgeous models and girls that flirt with him. Those stupid little actresses " She cursed under her breath and he shook his head. His Ally was jealous, that was new. But he focused on the real problem.
" -he'd be better off with one of them, they'd look great on covers of magazines. A stupid ugly dork like me shouldn't be with somebody as hot and... Perfect as him. I'm stupid. I'm ugly. I deserve to die. I'm nothing really- "
To know his girl hated herself was not okay.
" Ally " he called out, getting her attention.
She stopped what she was doing and turned around to look at him, faking a smile as she did. " H-hey "
He knew her fake smile by heart now and hated it. He missed the real one, the joyful one " Drop the act Ally. I heard everything ".
She let out a meaningful sigh and crashed down on her bed, crossing her arms over her stomach as she did.
He sat down next to her " Why would you think all that. You know how beautiful you are. I tell you that all the time, obviously not enough but I think it every time I see or think of you. Which is very often, so believe me, you are more then beautiful. And frankly I'm not the only one who thinks it. It actually scares me how many boys think it, but you're all mine so I try to push it back. "
She smiled and just hugged him " I love you Austin "
" I love you too, dear. I love you so much "
" Let me just be clear, Austin actually said no to pancakes. Are we talking about the same Austin here? " Mimi said, shocked at what she heard.
Ally was really good with Austin's parents and he couldn't help but feel proud. He got along with her dad... And mum too. Their parents? They didn't get along so great, they had Trish to thank for that, but it was alright because they each got along with each other's parents.
" Yes Mimi, I was just as shocked as you are " Ally stated as she laughed at the memory.
Austin didn't speak much, he just admired her. He preferred to do that, instead of joining the conversation. He watched he as she laughed so hard that she snorted which only caused her to laugh more. He shook his head and chuckled.
Ally reached over to grab her glass but by accident knocked over a glass bottle of water and it landed on her hand, only spilling water on her sleeve not doing anything else.
She gasped and stood up oh her feet. The only think that was wet was her sleeve, nothing else. Austin reacted fast as well.
He also stood up and moved the bottle away, he grabbed her hand and saw her twitch as he did. He just froze.
A million of questioned roared through his mind as he slowly brough her hand closer to him, aware of the tension between them.
He slowly started to roll up her sleeve and took a deep breath. He saw it coming. He knew he never confronted her about it.
To know his girl still harms herself was not okay.
His gaze was set firm on her hand, very much aware of his parent's presence. He didn't care, she's been harming herself for a really long time and it had to stop.
When she hurt herself she also hurt him. He felt like he wasn't doing a good job on keeping her happy, but he was. It was something else that triggered this. Most likely something that didn't involve him.
He looked at his parents " We'll be right back " the waked out with Ally right beside him. He led her outside on his front porch and they took a seat on the wooden steps.
She knew what was coming, he wanted to know what was going on with her. The past year she kept it all to herself and hid it from him. If she hid it so long, she could hide it for a few more days.
After all, she wrote it all down for him to read once she's... Gone.
So that night he got nothing out of her.
Five missed calls. She stared at her phone, tempting. Should she answer him or not. No. Yes. Maybe? Ugh, it was so frustrating. Maybe she should answer, just so that she could hear his voice one more time. One last time.
It rang. She hoped he wouldn't pick up but deep inside she wanted him to talk to her. To help her. To save her. " Ally where are you? I've been trying to get to you for hours. Your home phone is off, you weren't picking up your mobile, you are nowhere to be found. Where are you? "
" I'm in our old three house... U-up in the woods " She better tell him, somebody has to know where she was, right?
His eyes were wide. It was pouring rain outside, she was going to get sick. What was she thinking, it had to be freezing out there " What?! Why are you there? What happened? "
She let out a sigh and closed her eyes " Goodbye Austin " and before he could protest or tell her anything she hung up the phone and trew it on the ground. She watched it drop 20 feet and held back her tears. She was next.
There wasn't much she had to do, just take a step and, well, fall. Not as easy as it sounds.
There was fear keeping her away from the edge. Then there was also Austin, she didn't want to leave him but it was all too much. Her parents were fighting over who should take her due to their divorce but they weren't fighting over who gets to keep her. No. It would be okay if they fought over that but no, that wasn't the case. Neither wanted her.
Her mum had to take her with her now, that's what they agreed on. She was suppose to go to Africa with her mum. There she was going to help her mum with writing and was going to leave music behind her forever. Not only music though, but Austin too.
So she decided she'd rather die then live a life that's going to be nothing but pain. All it took was one step.
She looked down. It was a long way to the bottom, maybe a bit too long. Would it hurt? Probably. Will it be worth it? Maybe. What about Austin? He's going to move on and have a happy life.
She stepped away from the edge, all she needed was five more minutes of having a heartbeat. She breathed in the air into her lungs and looked around.
This place grew close to both Austin and Ally's heart. It was special and she was going to miss it. It became a hang out place for the duo quite a long time ago, they didn't go there very often but when they did they made unforgettable memories
She heard the sound of somebody climbing up the ladder and her eyes opened wide. How could he be there already?
She rushed to the small balcony and quickly went over the fence. As she looked down her heart beat sped up. It was a long, long way down.
" Als where are yo- Ally! " he rushed to her and grabbed her arms, making sure she wasn't going to fall.
She tried to push him off, but he was too strong " No! Austin, I need to do this. Please. I need- "
" -You don't need to do anything. If you jump you'll die "
" That's the idea "
" What? Ally what are you thinking. Come on " He started to pull her up to get her back to where she would be safe. She resisted though, she bit his arm which caused him to almost release her from his grip. She used that to remove his hand and started loosing balance.
He was fast though. He grabbed her and pulled her over the fence, landing on his back with her on top of him.
To know his girl attempted suicide was not okay.
She was in his arms now, far away from the edge. She was shaken up, not that he could blame her for it. She was about to jump into her death. But what frightened him the most was that she was going to do it on her own free will. Meaning that she wanted to do it. She wanted to jump. She wanted to die.
" Don't ever scare me like that again " he told her. His gaze flew around the room, scanning it as he tried to find something warm to wrap her in. Noting came to view so instead he slid his jacket off and wrapped her up in it. She was dripping wet and shivering. " What were you thinking? You could've died. How would i live without you Als, how would I survive? "
" You'd manage Austin, you always do " She told him but he wasn't going to let her go this time. He wasn't going to let her think that way anymore. It didn't matter what it took, even if it was giving up everything he had, he was going to get her back. The girl, the happy one. The girl who would never even consider death as an answer. The one girl he misses, with that smile on her face. The one who's his, in mind and heart. His girl.
She buried her head in his chest and repeated quietly " You'd manage " " You're wrong " he whispered back " I wouldn't manage Ally. I wouldn't be able live. I would probably go into depression and end up doing the same thing you did. "
"Austin- "
" -No just let me talk Ally. I've watched you struggle for such a long time. You've been distant " he took her hand and lifted up her sleeve and glanced at her cuts " You'be harming yourself. You've been in pain, emotionally and physically. You've been insecure. For goodness sake, you attempted suicide! I just can't take it anymore Ally. I want you to smile like you used to. I want to see that spark in your eyes when you talk about us and how we'll get to grow up, get married and have two kids. Remember what you told me. A boy and a girl. Taylor and Hayley. You said we'd get to grow up and have a beautiful life together. I want that too. I want you. So if that's what it takes Ally I will even ask you to marry me, just please, please tell me we'll get to do all that. Tell me we'll get to grow up together, side by side. Promise we'll get to do that. Promise me you'll be there. Promise me you won't leave me. That you won't leave at all. " his forehead was against hers as he whispered in a hush tone " Please, just promise me you'll let me make you happy "
Her eyes were closed now, taking it all in. He loves her, she felt it. He told her how he felt many times, but this was different. She felt the hurt and love as he spoke. So in deed she nodded her head " I promise "
Was this suppose to make her feel better? Talking to a complete stranger. Because it certainly wasn't making her feel better.
The only thing that comforted her was Austin's hand that was rubbing her knee gently. It calmed her down. She would look at him casually, just to see if she was doing okay. His response was always an encouraging nod that comforted her.
" Alright, lets finish up here. You're doing great honey. I'll see you tomorrow " the psychiatrist told her and wrote something down.
Austin took her hand and led her outside " She's right, you're doing great Als. You just gotta relax more and let it all out "
" It's hard "
" I know but you just gotta relax "
" No I mean it's hard cause I don't want to tell her everything about me. I don't like it. "
He looked at her, she seemed serious about it " Well then you don't have to tell her everything Ally ". She turned her face out out of his sight and shook her head.
This made him stop walking and have her follow along. " Ally, I just want you to let it all out. If you've uncomfortable with this then you don't have to go "
" I don't? "
" Of course you don't. I don't want to make you do stuff against your own free will. But then you'll have to open up to me instead "
She nodded eagerly " Yes. Yes. Yes. I will. Thank you so much Austin " she hugged him tightly.
" Woah " He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around her, embracing her.
Well it was good to see his girl was happy, finally. Now she had that smile spread across her face. She was in a good mood and refused to leave his side.
He even stopped seeing those scars on her arms, the old ones were just fading. She didn't harm herself anymore, that was good. It meant she was better.
His girl stopped harming herself, that was good.
He made sure she ate, just to know she wasn't going to end up in a hospital because of an empty stomach. He even believed that he's going to have to start separating her from food soon because she found out sweets are her new favourite snack.
His girl stopped starving herself, that was good.
He never caught her crying again, but she never did cry. She had a great life now, didn't she? There was no need to be sad and cry anymore.
His girl never cried anymore, that was great.
Kids still teased her at school but not as much. It died down after a while once she tried committing suicide. The bullies realized how far they've gone and stepped back. Getting a few threats from her overprotective boyfriend might have made that happen.
His girl stopped being bullied, that was perfect.
She loved her body now, well liked it. He made sure to tell her how perfect she is every day. She even had a few girls come up to her, hug her for support and tell her how she's perfectly imperfect. She had no idea what to do, but she was flattered.
His girl stopped hating herself, that was amazing.
Once she told Austin everything, starting from scratch, why she attempted suicide he made sure to talk to her parents and clear it all out. His girl was staying with him, even if it meant he had to propose to her to make sure she stays there. Her dad finally realized how wrong he was for not wanting his baby girl to stay with him and told Austin that maybe one day he should do that, but not just yet. After all they were just kids.
His girl was alive, that was right.
But that didn't matter. He was going to propose to her one day, just not yet. But some day for sure. All that mattered now was that she was happy. Nothing else mattered.
To know his girl was finally happy made him happy.
The end
Okay so I know I should've been focusing on writing my stories but I was reading something and it just inspired me to write this. So just tell me what you think of it xx