Beside You Forever More
By Bonnie E.
It was hard to know exactly what year it was, but regardless, Louis counted the time anyway. It had been almost four hundred years since he'd first come to this place - the village that had once, and now again was called the Village of the Blue Moon. It was a village of vampires.
The coven mistress, Sierra, was the bearer of the True Moon Rune. Most of the village's residents had been humans that had had been reborn as vampires by her and the power of the rune, save two - Louis himself, who was still human, and Kahn Marley, who had been created by another vampire without the compassion offered by the coven mistress' rune.
Louis' age was frozen in time - unchanged by the True Water Rune he bore. But unfortunately, the same was not true of Kahn. The world had taken him early that morning.
Everyone in the village had watched Kahn fade over the last few years. First with a stiffness in his steps and wrinkles slowly forming over his face. Just like his human counterparts, he was growing old and most likely dying.
Louis had convinced himself that it was the lack of compassion - that being created as a second generation vampire had to be why Kahn had aged. Vampires created by Sierra's True Rune would live forever, right?
Or…perhaps not.
The thought had haunted Louis for years. Not for the sake of himself - he wasn't bound to the same life and death laws as vampires - but rather for that of his wife, Isabel. She had been the second vampire Sierra had created in the new village.
As he and Isabel prepared for Kahn's memorial, they were both silent. He noticed Isabel's mind appeared to be somewhere else. Maybe her own thoughts were wandering in the places his own was.
"Isabel, are you alright?" he asked.
She looked up and smiled at him. "I'm fine."
Louis had known her long enough to know that her smile was false, and her words a lie. So he tried to ease her heart.
"We don't know for sure that you and the others will age. Don't worry about it."
Isabel was notably silent for a few moments, her mind seeming to fall back into those thoughts. After adjusting a bangle on her scarf, she turned to him.
"I keep telling myself that it's not really a sad thing," she began. "Now Kahn can be with his family again. You know how much he loved them. But…I'm still going to miss his stories."
"Yeah," Louis replied, yet he was only half listening.
"He would always begin them with a large clearing of his throat and then simply say, 'Let me tell you about my great great someone-or-other…' and he'd rope you in so completely that you didn't want to leave until he was done. Hmph! Can you see the look on his face when he finally meets all these people in his stories? I bet he has already. Those Marleys seem a pretty tight bunch. I don't know what they'll think of him being a vampire, though. Given they were from a long line of vampire hunters. Not like it was his choice or anything… Heh! I'm willing to bet he's telling them all about us now."
"Yeah."
Isabel paused a moment, then looked deeply into his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for…what?"
"I've known it all along. I just didn't know how to tell you."
"Known…what?" he asked, though he very well knew what. The confirmation left an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.
"Vampires aren't immortal. Even we grow old and die. Like Kahn did. He went first because he was second generation, but we all will die eventually. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before this."
The words struck him. So it was true. For so many years, he had believed he would be with Isabel forever, and now she was saying that she…
"How do you know?" he asked, hoping that somehow it had only been a theory of hers, not based upon fact.
"Sierra told me…even before she made me. She felt it was fair that I know because the reason I wanted to be a vampire in the first place was so I could be with you. And for so long I just didn't think about it. But when Kahn…when Kahn started to completely fade, it just hit me and…I can't not think about it anymore…and I'm…I'm so afraid…"
Louis held her tightly. So it really had been on her mind, as well. And he had to admit the notion frightened him, too.
All those years she had known it wouldn't be forever, but said nothing. He knew that Isabel hadn't wanted to think about it. The fact that she was scared as much as he was upset him more than the thought of losing her.
Isabel, how can I watch this happen? It's not that I didn't come to terms with it when you were a human. I married you knowing I would lose you one day. Then for so long, I believed we were going to be together forever. But we were both so much younger then…
She continued, "I know it's stupid - being so scared of something that's going to happen to almost everyone some day…but I can't help it… when I think of it, I just feel so helpless…"
Louis held her tighter, her feelings resonating through him, but he didn't want to burden her with his own concerns about it.
"I…don't…worry about me, Louis," she whispered in his ear. "I'll be fine for now. We're going to be late for the memorial."
She broke away from him quickly and headed for the door. He only wished he could think of something to say. But all he could think to would only come out sounding fake. He knew it. So instead he said nothing and followed Isabel out the door.
For the first time, Sierra had seen it with her own eyes.
It had been so long since anyone had been buried in the small glen to the west of the village. She had almost forgotten the last time.
Kahn had been a very special friend to her - Sierra's first true, long term friend in the human world. She remembered the day they met, under the pretext of defeating Neclord, one of her first villagers who she had also been seeking. Kahn Marley was a vampire hunter, and his family had sought to destroy Neclord for generations. But despite his family's history with vampires, Kahn had never been cruel or unkind to her, despite her being a vampire herself. She didn't know at the time that Kahn would be the one who would think about her after the Dunan Unification War, and invite her into his home to learn more about the mortal world. He invited her knowing she was a vampire - technically an enemy to his family just by her very nature. She had wanted to stay much longer than she had, and was only the hostility of a small few of his family members that made her leave the Marley estate and continue on her journey.
Kahn was a second generation vampire, created without compassion by one of her first villagers. He'd always been weaker than the others because of it. As much as she tried to tell herself that those had been the only reasons why he had aged and died, she knew that wasn't entirely the reason. He really was no different than the others. She had to finally face that her people were not immortal.
She had never seen anyone age before. The first village hadn't been around long enough for her to witness it happen to anyone in any truly noticeable capacity. Even she didn't know what the lifespan of a vampire could be. So she pushed it away, always telling herself that it would be a long time. Far longer than she'd ever have to think about.
But now she had to think about it. She had no choice.
After the memorial, she had drifted away from the village alone. She found herself at the edge of the river - a place she sometimes came to think alone, but most often she came with her lover, Nash. The conversations they'd had at the riverbank were sometimes silly, sometimes heated, sometimes embarrassingly romantic. But she had always enjoyed the time - every moment of it.
She barely remembered a time when Nash had not been there. But now when she saw him, she saw that he moved much slower, his movements laboured, and there was a subtle wrinkle on his brow that had never been there before.
She had known it when she had made him a vampire, and in an earlier time she reminded herself of it. But as the years passed, she lost herself in the dream of her new village and her new life and pushed it aside. It was wonderful.
But now it was all she saw when she looked at him. And she couldn't get it out of her mind. Nash was the first one she had made. And he would be the next she would lose.
On the day she had made him, she had been so afraid of losing him as he died in her arms. She didn't want to be alone again, and she had finally admitted she had fallen in love with him. Sierra had vowed she would never become too involved with the human world, but he had wedged his way in and she couldn't help herself. For a long while, she hadn't regretted it. But now, perhaps she did. Because again she was faced with losing him and this time there was nothing she could do to stop it. And not only would she lose Nash, but everyone else, slowly, one at a time. Until there would be nobody left. She would be all alone again.
She heard footsteps behind her. They were familiar, with a jovial-like shuffle to them… as if they were trying to sneak up on her. Hadn't Nash learned that her hearing was far better than that?
"Boo!" he said, placing his hands on her shoulders quickly, but she didn't jump. She merely continued staring out over the river.
"Aww…you heard me," he spoke disappointedly.
"I always do. I don't know why you bother."
"Because it's fun. Should there be another reason?"
Sierra smiled in spite of herself. "I suppose not."
Nash sat himself next to her on the riverbank and also stared out over the water.
"This silence isn't just because of Khan, is it?" he asked.
She shook her head lightly, but said nothing.
"Yeah, I figured so. I figured it out a long time ago. I aged enough as a human to know the feeling. And then when Kahn did too, I just figured it out. I supposed you didn't know, and I didn't want to tell you, just in case."
"Would you have become a vampire, had you known?"
"Yes," he said without hesitation. "I didn't become one to live forever. I became one so I could be with you for however long I could. Oh, and…heh heh. Okay. Because I was curious, too. But never mind that. Yeah…you should have told me and everyone, but…I don't think many of us expected this to be forever, anyway. And if they did only for that, they became a vampire for the wrong reason."
"Yes, but you're right. I should have told them. How can I tell them now?"
"Why tell them? You can always claim ignorance. How will people know you knew if you don't tell them?"
"Dishonesty and secrets tore apart my last village. I should have known better."
"Eh, it can't be helped, Sierra. I mean, most people get here practically on their deathbeds. And you're going to take time to explain all the ins and outs of vampirehood to them while they lay dying? Not realistic. And it's not as if you ever came out and said we were immortal or anything. I don't think you've ever said that. You said you were, but never us. You promise them a second chance at life - not a life that never ends. And I don't think that it's a lie. You give them another chance to come to terms with their demons and move on. And believe me, we get plenty more time than the average human. That's really more than any of us could ask for."
"And the one person who I did tell beforehand had that impression, which is why I made her aware of it. You're right, Nash. I never did lie to anyone."
"Nope. There were no lies." Nash spoke in a tone very honest. "Most of us are eventually going to be lost in the sands of time. But in our place, there will be others. This place is constantly growing. And some day, long after I'm gone, there will be another to take my place. I'm okay with that. The last thing I want is for you to be alone.
"But you won't be. I know you won't be. Because you're different now than you were when we first met. And if you could find a stubborn, love struck fool like me back when you were how you used to be, there's no way you won't now that you're so much warmer a person."
"You think I'm a warmer person now?"
"Sure. Well…maybe it isn't saying that much, considering that you were an ice queen back then. bbrr!"
"Thanks," she said, her eyes narrowing and her tone dry.
"There was a time when you'd have been harder on me for that."
"…That's true."
Silence again.
Nash shuffled around on the ground and picked up a small stone. He smiled as if he'd found a wonderful treasure, then held it between his thumb and forefinger. He tossed it out over the water, where it caused a small wave and then sank.
"Damn. You'd think after all these centuries I'd have made some progress with skipping rocks. I guess that's why I always stuck to fighting with other kinds of projectiles. Oh, and weird, cursed swords. I just will never have the wrists for this."
Sierra smiled again. He would never change, would he? He would always make light of everything.
He scratched the back of his head casually. "So I'm thinking…I've aged maybe a bit more than ten human years in the time I've been a vampire. Taking that into account, I've probably still got centuries to go. My family lives to ripe old ages, usually. If we're not murdered or whatnot. Remember Julie? Aunt Lena? Both well into their 80s when they went. Even that gaunt, weak Euram made it to almost 80. So I'm figuring I've got a long time left. Don't worry about me, Sierra. I may be an 'old man', but I'm not dead yet."
You used to say you were old at 37. I remember that."
"And I'm still here. I'm - what? Maybe 50 in human years. Got lots of time left, trust me."
Nash's smile had become something she couldn't resist. How she would miss it when it was gone. But he was right - he'd aged but he didn't look or seem too old. He probably did still have plenty of time left. It was silly to worry about it until it was more obvious she was losing him.
"You know…I was thinking…" he spoke suddenly. "It's been awhile since we left this village. Don't you think we're entitled to a bit of a vacation?"
"A vacation? But I can't just leave."
"Sure you can!"
"The True Rune, Nash…"
"So? Leave it behind and wear a Blue Rune while we're gone, like we used to."
"You know it isn't as simple as that."
"You used to take it off all the time."
"That was before the incident with Yuima."
"She was new to the village and completely crazy."
"Yes, but Neclord was neither new nor crazy."
"Sure, sure. Be scared of the past forever…"
"It isn't fear! It's learning from my mistakes."
"Well, I wanna go on vacaaation…" Nash spoke, his whine exaggerated.
Sierra sighed. "Nobody else can wear the True Rune and protect it. You know that."
"But I wanna go" he continued. "Don't get me wrong - I love it here. But I'm dying to see how the world has changed after all this time. I was thinking…as long as you got one or two people looking after the rune on the altar at all times it could work. They could work in shifts. What three or four people in the village do you trust the most?"
"Well, Louis…most definitely."
"And he can't steal it, even if he gets a weird urge to. He's already got one True Rune, and you can't bear more than one at a time. Now who else?"
"Rano, Melluda. Quinn, but he's not very strong. And Julius, but I'm not sure he's responsible enough to handle the burden…but Tazza might be up for it. I don't imagine Chasteen would be up for it yet, even though she would be perfect for it."
"So there are a bunch who you'd trust enough."
"Yes…I trust them…but I don't trust my own judgement. Long ago, I trusted Neclord, too."
"Yeah, but if I'd known him, I probably wouldn't have. And you know I'm pretty good with those kinds of things. All those people you chose I would have picked, too. Not an overly ambitious bone in any of them."
"Are you sure it will be okay?"
"Sometimes in life, you have to take risks. And I trust Louis implicitly. He'll run things around here just fine. In a way, I'd say this village is just as much his as yours, Sierra."
"I think so, too. He rebuilt it from almost nothing."
"So…for the next little bit, we'll give him the village. We can come back for festivals since I know you love them, though. But otherwise, I want to hit every corner of the world."
"I think I can live with that."
"Good. We'll start to get ready to go tomorrow." Nash placed a hand over Sierra's. "It's going to be okay. I know it is," he said.
Sierra nodded. He was right. She worried far too much.
"I know…" She leaned into him and they sat there for a long while, saying nothing, merely enjoying the moment as it slipped silently by. It was these moments that she would remember when he was gone. But there really was no reason to think about it. Until it happened, there was no point in worrying about anything.
Later in the day, as evening fell over the Village of the Blue Moon, Louis sat outside his house, taking in the fresh air and watching as the people of the secret town wandered in and out of their homes, going about their lives as if nothing was different at all. But they were different. Now they were mortal to him - as mortal as the humans in Toki Village at the edge of the woods.
Louis was so deep in thought that he almost didn't see Sierra approaching him. Nash was also close by, but not approaching.
"Good evening, Louis!" Sierra said.
"Good evening."
"Louis…would you mind looking after the village and the True Rune for me for a little while? Nash and I are going to go on a journey, but I'll have to leave the Moon Rune here so the villagers can continue on as normal in our absence."
"You're…leaving the village? Really?"
"Nash and I decided that a vacation is in order. We're going to head out in a few days, after we've prepared. We aren't sure when we'll be back, but we will be. Will you guard the rune for me?"
Sierra was unusually cheery, which was an opposite of how she was when he'd seen her last. It was odd, but Louis was happy to see that she was feeling better. If only he could feel the same way…
"Sure…I'd love to keep an eye on it for you."
"Thank you, Louis. We'll discuss the entire plan a little later. Right now, I'm heading off to bed. It's been an incredibly long day and I'm in need of a rest."
Sierra walked off to her house alone with no other words, leaving him a bit bewildered at the sudden change in her demeanour. Almost no time passed when Nash breezed by him and stopped with a strange sense of purpose in his actions.
"Evening, Louis!" he spoke.
"Hey...Nash. Good evening. Um…it looks as if Sierra is feeling better."
"Oh, yeah. We had a talk, and I think she's going to be okay now."
"Out of curiosity, what did you tell her?"
"I worked my magic," Nash spoke in his slightly maddening way. Why could he never just give a straight answer?
"Seriously, though…I told her that I have a lot of time left and not to worry about it."
"Oh…I…see…" Louis wished it was as simple as that.
"It was a lie, though," Nash spoke quickly, like an afterthought.
Louis tipped his head. "How?"
Nash laughed. "You remember how at 37 I used to say I was an old man?"
"Yeah. I thought it was odd, since 37 isn't really that old. But I thought you were overall odd anyway, so I didn't dwell on it."
"Well…that's because the males in my family have a particular talent for hauling off early. Even if we're not murdered, which happened more often than you'd think, it was rare when we made it naturally past 60. 55 is the average age at death for a Latkje male. The Suphinas fared a bit better, but even they had mostly crap luck with it, too. And I just blame Euram's old age on his Falenan blood, since those Barows could be bloody well ancient so…if you get what I'm saying…it really could be any time for me. I convinced Sierra that we needed a vacation for awhile, but I admit it's just as much for me as her. I want to have one last chance to see the world and how much it's changed before I go. You understand."
"You aren't even a bit worried?"
Nash shrugged. "What's the point in worrying about it when it's gonna happen eventually? It's not like we can stop it. Besides, I can't really complain. I got far longer than I thought I'd ever have."
Louis looked at the vampire a moment, and it was odd - he really didn't seem worried or upset. In fact, he was smiling. Not his 'smart ass covering up something' smile, but a real smile.
"I promised Sierra I'd never lie to her again. But sometimes we're all entitled to a little white lie now and again when it's needed, right Louis?" The vampire stretched his arms above his head and mocked a yawn. "Well, it's late and Sierra and I have got to begin getting prepared for our trip tomorrow. Good night."
Without a word Nash slipped away, leaving Louis alone at the edge of the village.
He couldn't shake Nash's content expression. His words had been so matter-of-fact, so carefree. No, it wasn't a mask - regardless of how good Nash was at putting on one.
How can he just accept it so easily? I don't get it…
Louis thought about it a moment, and somehow it came to him. It was simple, after all. Nash had lived a life where he had never known whether he'd live or die from one day to the next. So he'd always made the best of every day, and even now, in these peaceful times, he had lived by that rule for himself. Something like the notion of dying was nothing new to him, so it didn't bother him.
Louis' days as a knight had been much the same. As short as they had been, he'd still been trained that a warrior never knew whether a battle would be their last. He remembered the Zexen Knights, and how they'd all seemed to have that similar attitude. He had been alive so long that he had forgotten it in his new life, but yes, deep within him, it was still there. You had to live life one day at a time, because death would always find you, one day or another. For all he knew, something could take him from the world before Isabel. True Runes gave eternal life, but didn't make someone invincible. So it was silly to worry about being alone until he was sure that was even going to happen.
Louis walked back to his house quietly and as he entered, he saw Isabel sitting on the small couch in the sitting room, staring at the fireplace.
"I'm sorry I didn't come in sooner. How are you?"
She nodded. "I'm okay. I think…I'll be okay."
He held her from behind. "I don't know how much this will help, but… I want you to know that I'm not mad because you didn't tell me. I…have a lot on my mind. I know you do, too."
Isabel nodded. "Thanks…for not being mad…"
"How could I be? I'm worried about you. But I think you're going to be okay. I think Kahn's death has shaken a lot of people up, and there's nothing wrong with that."
"Yeah. You're right…it's probably that…"
Louis came around and sat next to her, but she kept staring into the crackling fire.
"I was thinking about what you said about Khan - how he's with his family now, and it's not really a sad thing. And I thought…how good it will be that you'll get to see your parents and friends from Toki Village again when you're gone. I think something in the back of my mind always felt a bit guilty that I was keeping you from seeing them again."
Isabel paused a moment, but then looked up at him for the first time since he'd entered the house. "I wasn't sure I wanted to become a vampire after learning it wouldn't be forever. But then I thought of everyone I'd leave behind…and I decided it was okay. I want to see them again one day."
"So maybe when you start getting sad about it, you can hold on to that thought? I mean, it's something. Just like…if I ever die, I'll get to see everyone again. I wonder what Lady Chris, my brothers and everyone else would think of what I've done with my life. I know there's a chance I might never know, but it would be great to talk to all of them again. I guess it could happen - The Goddess willing, of course."
"I think that would be wonderful. And I'd love to meet them all, too."
"Maybe you will. Then you can all talk about me behind my back."
Isabel laughed lightly. "I have a few stories I can tell them…"
"Oh, no…not THOSE…"
Louis also laughed. "Regardless, I guess this whole thing is really something we don't have any control over. So we'll just make the best of the time we have together, one day at a time. And that's still probably a considerable amount of time, since you're still as youthful and beautiful as you were when I met you."
"Flattery will get you everywhere, you know." She wrapped her arms around him and he held her back.
"Heh…I know that, too."
He held her for awhile, taking in her presence. Perhaps he needed to learn the truth to truly appreciate what he had. He would cherish every moment, every touch, as if it were the last. There was no point in worrying about the future - from that moment on, the here and now would be all he needed. There was no point in worrying about the future. He'd take it one day at a time. And maybe one day, when he was alone again, he'd find a new point to his existence. For now, however, it was just he, Isabel and the moment. And that was okay.
THE END