TRULY LIVING
A Hermione Granger/Remus LupinAU
It had been ten years since the war was won back in their sixth year.
Hermione had gone into wizard/non-wizard relations in the Ministry of Magic.
She had been determined to make a difference for all of those that wizards looked down on.
During her time there Hermione passed bills and laws preventing wizards from taking advantage of those that had previously been outcasts.
Hermione was happy with her life,she just wished she had a little more.
Her and Ron had never gotten together,though part of her thought that that was what she had wanted.
There had been a few relationships but nothing serious.
It was a week before her 27th birthday and she just wished she could run away and forget all about this new counter law that some snooty wizards were trying to pass.
On top of that,Harry and Ginny had told her that they were going to throw her a party and there was nothing she could do to stop them.
Hermione chuckled as she thought back on their conversation.
"Harry,really I don't want there to be a big deal about this." Hermione said exasperated.
"Mione,you know it's going to happen whether you want it to or not. So just show up,or else I'll have to track you down and drag you back here...and you know I can,being an auror and all." Harry grinned,he knew he had won. "Beside,the whole Weasley and Potter family would like to see you and your godchildren miss you,they say that they never get to see you."
Hermione sighed and smiled back "All right,you win,I'll be here. I'd like to see little Lilly and Rose,I miss them too."
She really did miss the girls,it was true that she hadn't seen them lately,Harry and Ginny had had twin girls.
Lilly and Rose,six years old and the sweetest children one could wish for,they did however have a little of their dear twin uncles in them.
The night of her party she showed up early to help out if there was anything she could do.
She didn't get far before two little girls came running to her and demanding that she not lift a finger,it was after all HER party.
"All right,I won't" Hermoine replied happily.
"How have you girls been?"
"Oh,good. We've been giving mom and dad a hard time,thanks to Uncle Fred and George." The girls smiled,one had started the sentence and the other had finished it.
Guest started showing up shortly after five oclock and Ron had been the first.
He and Luna had gotten together in their seventh year,were now happily married and had a little boy and a little girl. Sirius was six and little Galexia was three.
Hermione thought of how everyone around her had gotten married or were in somewhat serious relationships.
Neville had met someone and they got married,Fred and George had girlfriends and all but she seemed to have someone,someone that they could go to and they would always be there for them.
She envied her friends of their loves,she would have liked to have that,but "oh well,I've still got time. This is after all only my twenty-seventh Birthday." Thought Hermione wryly.
As more people showed up she noticed that the order had come and even though it seemed like Snape didn't like her when she was in school-he had let her know that he didn't really hate her but that it was some thing that had to be done,he came along with Dumbledor.
Hermione walked around the room saying hello to everyone and thanking them for coming when she saw out of the corner of her eye Lupin,she was sure that it was Lupin but she hadn't seen him in so long that he looked completely different.
Since she had last seen him he must have found a good job that kept him from needing well,anything.
He was wearing new robes and his hair was clean and tidy,his brown locks falling carelessly across his handsome face. He had seen that she noticed him and seeing that now was as good as any time to give her her Birthday gift he walked over to her.
"Happy Birthday Hermione,I hope you like it." Lupin said as he gave her her present.
Hermione smiled as she took it and started to open it,it was a beautiful gold necklace.
The necklace was that of a wolf,Hermione took it out of the box. She looked up at Lupin in surprise "Th-thank you,you shouldn't have. This had to have cost you far more than you should have spent on me."
"Think of it as also a thank you for your help to us less than equal half-breeds"
"Don't call your self that,you know I don't like it." Hermione replied with such emotion that Lupin apologized for upsetting her.
"It's all right,I just don't think it was right that you never got a chance to have a normal life just because you sometimes happen to become a werewolf." She glanced up at him shyly as she said this.
Lupin didn't know how to reply to this so he just looked at her and after a moment jestured to the necklace as a way of asking if she wanted him to put it on her.
"Yes,please and thank you,it's lovely."
It wasn't long before the party was coming to an end and Hermione was saying good night to every one and again thanking them for coming.
"Oh Harry,this was fun but really I don't think I want there to be a big deal about my birthday,I'm getting old and I don't think I want peoples attention to be brought to that fact." Hermione said in a tone of mock horror.
"Don't be silly 'Mione,you're still young. We all are." He looked at Ron with a "don't you agree?" kinda look.
Ron chuckled "Hermione you are anything but old,cept maybe for all your maturity that you have always had. You need to live a little,you know be a little more care free. Go have fun and be spontaneous.
That will help you to feel younger. Not that you really need it." Ron said in agreement with what Harry was trying to tell Hermione.
"Yes,I think I shall. Some day." she said the last bit laughing at their look of surprise then exasperation.
On here way home,having decided to walk a bit,she wanted to stroll through the park.
Hermione was casually walking by when someone to her left said Hello and asked how she was this evening.
Hermione jump in surprise at the sudden arrival of the stranger then realizing it was Lupin she smiled.
"Don't do that,you scared me. You and I both know that I do have a few,um,unfriendlies that would like to see me,well,less than healthy." Hermione said sadly. She liked her job really she did,it was everything she had ever wanted to do and more. She liked that she was helping make the wizarding world better,but she was no fool. There were many people that weren't happy with her,and would like to see her stopped.
"My apologies,I didn't mean to scare you. I just saw you walking by and thought you might like the company,would you?" Lupin look at her with an expression of sincere regret.
His look made her think that maybe she had gone too far.
"Oh,I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Yes,thank you I would love some company." And so they walked along chatting amiably till they reached the end of the park.
"Well this is where I disaparrate." She hesitated. "Would you like to come to my place for some tea or maybe a butterbeer?" Hermione asked casually. She didn't want to seem to eager but she did want the company,she really didn't want to go home to an empty house.
"I'd like that." Lupin said smiling.
"Great,shall we?" Hermione held out her hand. "I'm going to disapparate straight inside my house and I have it so only I can pass the barrier,you'll have to be holding my hand."
There was a loud crack and they were gone.
Another crack and thet were safe in Hermione's home.
She quickly dropped his hand and went to put some tea on.
"I've been trying to modify the spell that lets only me disapparate so that a few others can too.
Like Harry and Ron,they've been kinda give me a hard time about it,they worry about me and they don't like the thought of not being able to get in right away should there be cause for it.
They like to check in on me,it's sweet but I keep telling them that I don't need them to do so."
There was a pause and Lupin wasn't sure if he should say anything and as he was about to Hermione went on. "They're worried that what happened that one time will happed again and they won't be able to stop it." Hermione sighed and looked away from Lupin.
"I haven't told many people about what happened and neither have Harry or Ron,I don't like people worrying about me.
It was shortly after I had passed the Freedom for House Elves Law so that they could be free to be free if that is what they wanted,some don't you know. Some love to serve and others don't,like Doby,well I was coming home and this was before I had the disapparating charm placed on my house,I used to just walk home and you know come in and all that,the normal way.
I had left the office and I disapparated to the street I live on,I came up to my door and before I knew what was happening I had been grabbed by someone and someone else was taking my wand from me,then they took me inside and well they roughed me up a bit but nothing too bad,I mean I think it was really just a scare tactic and it wasn't too long before Harry popped in and saw what was happening. He had planed on coming over but forgot to tell me.
I was surprised to see him,I didn't really know how I was going to get out of the mess I had gotten into but I didn't have to cause Harry came and saved me" Hermione smiled. "Just like always."
"I-I didn't know. I'm sorry to hear that." Lupin paused.
"I knew that your job would be a dangerous one but I didn't know that you had suffered because of it." Lupin paused again,he seemed unsure if he should finish what he was going to say but he continued.
"You know,I admire the fact that you took this job and have made such a difference,I mean look at me.
I'd never been able to hold down a job because of what I am,whenever people found out that I was a werewolf they made it quite clear that I wasn't wanted. But now I'm doing good,I've got a job with a guy that has a son that was bit by a werewolf and when he found out about me he wanted me to meet his kid and asked if I could help him in anyway. So I met him,he's a good kid,only fourteen and trying to find his way in this world. You have made this world a nicer place for us werewolves." Lupin smiled. "I thank you,as I'm sure he would too."
Hermione brightened after hearing this."I'm glad that I've been able to help those who I care about."
"It's good to know that you are happy and healthy." Hermione smiled,getting up remembering about the tea.
"Would you like a cup of tea?" she paused "or maybe something else Butterbeer,milk or maybe some fire whisky?"
Lupin smirked "Tea would be good,thank you." Hermione thought she heard him mumble something about putting a little fire whisky in it,figuring that he was kidding she got them both a cup of tea and sat down again.
The time was passing so quickly that as Hermione looked at the clock she saw that it was ten minutes after midnight,startled by the time and the fact that she had to work tomorrow she looked over at Lupin in surprise.
"I can't believe its so late-" Lupin cut her off "I should go,I shouldn't have stayed so long."
Hermione glanced at him and stated that it was not his fault and she had really enjoyed his visit.
"Actually,I was thinking maybe you should just stay the night. How far are you from home?"
"Well,I've moved and I live kinda far but it's just a few disaparations and a little walking away." He smiled.
"Still,might take a while huh?" She paused. "Yes,I think it would be best if you stayed you look tired and I don't want anyone to give you a hard time should you run into anyone."
"Well,if you wish it,I'll stay."
Hermione smiled. "I'll be right back."
When Hermione came back,she had blankets in her arms and asked him to please come with her.
She led him to her guest room that her godchildren stayed in when they came to spend time with her.
It was a pretty pink room and had girlie things all over it,she told him that he would just have to suffer through it for this one night and that he was lucky cause when Sirius came over he had to suffer every time. Hermione chuckled about that. "poor kid." She added.
"I'm thinking of getting a new place with a bit more room,maybe like a five room house so I can have a room for the girls,for Sirius and a room for a guest too." She smiled and said. "Of course I would have to use one of the rooms as a library."
"Sounds like you have it all worked out." Lupin replied. "What's holding you back?"
"I don't really know,I guess I just need to get out there and look."
"Will this be alright for the night?" She asked looking his way.
"This will be better than alright,wait till I tell the girls I slept in their room,won't they just love that." Lupin gave a small chuckle,and to his surprise Hermione stated that the girls would actually like that.
"Being that they love you and all. They'll just wish that they could have had a slumber party too."
"Good Night Remus."
"Good Night Hermione."
As Hermione made her way back to her room she yawned and gave a heavy sigh.
It had been fun having him visit,she thought she would like to do it more often,but how could she tell him that without it being really awkward.
"oh well." She thought,sighing a little.
But there was part of her that didn't want to let him go.
They had gotten along so well that she thought maybe,just maybe they could have something more.
She had always like Professor Lupin,then just Lupin and now Remus,she didn't know when she had thought of him as friend Remus but now she wondered could he be more than just friend Remus.
It was silly,really she told herself. "What would he want with me,he could have more.
And what if I said something and he didn't feel the same and then he didn't even want to be friends."
that would be horrible she thought to herself. "No,I had better just let it be."
She felt sick,she felt like crying but she was afraid that he would hear her and come see what was wrong.
What would she say then. "Oh,nothing is wrong,I just think I might love you." She could just see his face. First worried for her,then horror struck. "No,that won't do." She told herself again. "Just let it go."
The next morning she got up early,checked on Lupin and seeing that he was still sleeping she took her shower and got ready for work.
She started to make some breakfast and Lupin came in looking tired but none the less awake.
"Morning." Hermione giggled. "You tired?"
"Mmmm-hmmm,How do you run on such little sleep?" He asked through blurry eyes.
"Ah,well,I think it's cause of my school years,I didn't get much sleep then either. I guess I just got used to it,you know?"
"Yeah,I had some crazy hours when I was young running around with the other Mauraders" Lupin smiled,thinking back on old times. "But I'm not as young as I used to be and life has taken it's toll on me."
"Oh, I don't think so. You're still young,you just like to think of yourself as old. Granted you have been through a lot more than most your age." Hermione said solemnly.
"Well,you too. You Harry,Ron and the rest of you have been put through alot more then we would have liked. Wish you kids could have had a happy childhood,peaceful,without war." Lupin drifted off.
"We had a happy childhood,if I hadn't had them,then yes,I'd have had a sad one. But with Harry and Ron one can't say that things were dull." Hermione smiled and gave a small chuckle. "Course I was a bit of a rule breaker as well and some,ok most,of our plans were mine." She chuckled again. "Good times."
After breakfast they said their good byes,Hermione left for work and Lupin for home.
It was a long and tire some day for Hermione,who had more than work on her mind.
She found it hard to concentrate on the paper work she had to get done before the end of the week,her mind kept drifting to thoughts of Lupin and just possibly her and Lupin.
Fantisies of her and him bumping into each other and going for a cup of coffee or other such nonsense that she knew would never happen. Hermione sighed and wished that she could just go home and curl up with a good book.
Ten minutes after six o'clock Hermione found herself finally done and quite ready to go home.
After making a quick stop at the local market place to get some milk and a few other essentials,Hermione was now on her way home. Looking at her watch,she saw that it was a quarter to seven,thinking she had taken longer than she had intended,she glanced around to make sure no one was watching her when her eyes caught a familiar face. Standing there not too far from her was Lupin he seemed to be chatting with some one she had never seen before,she thought she could say a quick hello,but no.
Thinking better she decided to just go,she turned and left,she didn't make it far because some one gently grabbed her shoulder.
"Hermione,would you like some help carrying you bags?" Came Lupin's calm but pleasant voice.
"Oh,Hello Remus,no I think I'm fine. Weren't you busy?' asked Hermione casually.
"Ah,just saying a quick hello,then I saw you but you turned to leave before I could catch your eye."
"Oh,Sorry I just didn't want to interrupt anything." Hermione replied calmly.
"It wouldn't have been an interuption,I'd just have introduced you to him. Good man that Thomas Goldsman,he has always supported your laws and rights for those who are like myself."
They walked on a little ways in silence and Hermione was unsure as how to go about,should she ask him to stay for dinner. They had after all just spent the last night in each others company.
There were so many different thoughts running through her head that she thought he must have been able to tell some thing was going on in there cause he was just looking at her in a rather comical yet understanding kind of way,like he knew she was confused.
"Am I keeping you?"Lupin asked.
Startled by the question she hastily replied "No." and "Would you like to stay for dinner?" Realizing that they weren't even to her house yet,she corrected herself saying. "That is to say,I mean,would you like to come by my house and have dinner with me?" She blushed a little thinking that that sounded kinda like a date. Lupin smiled and replied."Yes,thank you,I would be delighted to have dinner with you."
Hermione blushed a little more and hoped that he didn't see it.
They arrived shortly later at Hermione's home,Lupin,having carried her bags ask where he should put them and if he could in anyway help. Hermione directed him to the little kitchen and told him that she would be fine on her own,however if he wanted he could keep her company.
Dinner had gone smoothly and Hermione found herself wishing it wouldn't end,she knew that he would be leaving soon and wished he would stay. Lupin got up from the table and Hermione asked if he would like to have some thing to drink,maybe a butter beer before he left. Lupin agreed. As they sat in a some what comfortable silence,Hermione thinking what she should say.
Should she tell him about her little crush? How would he handle it? Would it all be ok in the end?
She glanced quickly over in his direction and she thought he looked as though he were in deep thought as well.
They both started to say some thing at once and laughed a little,Hermoine,saying that what she was going to say wasn't that important,asked him to continue.
"Well,I just wanted to say that,I,umm,that I've really enjoyed the time we have spent together." Lupin hesitated,looking like he wanted to say more but didn't and smiled at Hermione.
"Oh,well,I have too,actually I was going to say that,well not exactly that but..." She cut off and looked away. Lupin got up to go,Hermione looked back at him she knew she should say something,she knew she should,but what? what would make him stay? "Please." It was all she could think of at that moment.
She had said it so softly that he barely heard her.
"Yes?" Lupin asked softly.
"I don't-I don't want you to go." It was all she could think and she knew she sounded like some silly little girl and she hated it,but thats how she felt.
"No?" Asked Lupin as his hand reached out and gently touched her face.
"No." She said with a look of uncomfortable,unsure longing.
She stood,he looked down at her,their faces only inches apart.
Hermione lifted her head slightly and Lupin lowered his,they kissed,to Hermione it felt like ages till they parted and all at once over to quickly. Hermione blushed as she realized what just happened,it was what she wanted but now it looked like Lupin wanted to run. He was looking very unsure and quite uneasy,he had backed up a bit and was mumbling something about "Shouldn't have done that.".
"No!" Hermione cried,afraid he was going to leave. "I wanted you to. I've wanted you to for some time now I just didn't realize that I wanted it this bad until the other night." She was on the verge of tears when he looked up at her,there was a unreadable expression on his face. Hermione searched his eyes for some kind of hint as to what he was thinking. She just couldn't tell,it felt like forever before the inner battle Lupin was facing stopped,he smiled at her. "I must admit,I too have wanted to do that,longer than you cam imagine."
TEN YEARS LATER
"Can you believe it's already been that long?" Hermione asked Lupin. They had just been reminiscing about how the got together.
"Time flys when you're happy and you've made me a very happy man one who doesn't even notice what's going on around him." was Lupin's loving reply.
Lupin bent down to kiss his wife.
Hermione smiled as their littlest one walked in on them and uttered a "yuck!"
"Come now,Alastor,why do you always do that?" asked Hermione laughing.
"I can't help it,it's nasty." Was all that he said before running back out of the room.
Remus and Hermione had had three children.
their oldest,Minerva was eight,and very much like her mother. Viola who was the middle child was seven,she was rather a combination of the two,smart but calm and quiet like her father,and little Alastor was five and a little ball of energy.
Hermione couldn't help but think of all that she had and how happy she was,she had never thought that she could ever be this happy. This she thought,was truly living.